A very full, pregnant pause. It was so pregnant, Nina almost expected it to go into labor any second now.
The question still hung in the air, as Nina attempted to open the pill bottle. Managing to pull off the cap, she nudged out two pills, popping them in her mouth. She had gotten good at swallowing pills without any water.
To be honest, Nina still didn't know the answer to that question herself. It was something strange, to know for sure that you will die soon. Say what you want about whether or not Naomi or Saachi could make it, but Nina knew it wasn't her. Her wrist was fucked, every inch of her ached, and she was not going to make it. That was something she knew for a fact.
In her case, it wouldn't be an issue of what she could do to survive, but what she could do in her last days. Suicide? Suicide was a joke. If she had to go out, it had to be in a blaze of glory. Something worth dying for. She didn't want to spend her last moments sad, or scared for her life like she was with Bonnie.
It had to be something she would be proud in those last few minutes. Something to make people forget that she was a fuck-up.
But the thing was, she wasn't sure what she wanted to do to make sure that could happen. Nina didn't want to kill anyone. Not even people like Sissy or Bonnie needed to be horribly killed, as much as she despised them. It was something she just... couldn't picture herself doing.
Nina thought back to the snake. Its headed crushed, her horror at their laughter. She felt as if she were the snake right now, only getting crushed by someone in the end.
Being the snake was something she didn't want to be.
Naomi had decided to leave as a result of the silence. Nina slowly pulled herself up, her bones feeling almost heavy. Her legs continued to wobble as she tugged up her things.
Feeling nothing else she could do, she felt a dry pit in her throat.
Nina pulled open the door again with her good hand, the cold air accompanied by the same dissonant jingle.
Looking to Saachi, she turned and said "Hey, I wouldn't mind if you stuck around with us. I mean..."
She wasn't sure why she was saying that, or what else she was going to say. If she had both hands, she would have rubbed her neck a bit. But she smiled again. It was genuine, even if it was small and still shaken.
"Oh, and if it makes you feel better... I got Wonder Woman. Tube top, short shorts, tiara, everything."
All this was strange, but she just had to get by until the end.
((Nina Riddhi continued in Better To Be Alone Than With Bad Company