Disillusioned Homework, The

Disillusioned Homework, The

1,286
Mega-Ultimate
1,286

    Mar 27, 2005#1

    Profile

    Name: The Disillusioned Homework
    Author: MH-001
    Rating: G
    Genre: Humor
    Chapters: 1
    Words: 2902
    Published: 3/15/01
    Updated: 3/15/01
    Complete: Yes

    Description: My first story is about Slash, and how he copes with his Homework. R/R, pweeze! ^_^

    Disclaimer (By Author):

    Story

    Chapter 1

    It was silent... blackness, india ink blackness, night sky blackness...

    Suddenly, there was a loud WHACK!

    Two eyes opened in horror.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Slash quickly opened his eyes. He looked up to see his Grade 5
    french teacher, Ms. Voltinitzen, holding up her meter stick for all the
    class to see. She had already whacked the desk once to wake Slash up.

    "Slash!" She barked at the student, "I know it must be hard
    having an attention span of two seconds, but please try and stay awake
    in class." THe teacher returned to the front of the class and began to
    teach again.

    'Whatever.' Slash thought to himself, and prepared to return to
    his makeshift home he called The Land of Nod, when a folded piece of
    paper hit him on the head and landed in his lap. The Snowboard Kid
    unfolded the note, and read it to himself.


    "Meet you at Mr. Cube's after school!

    From Nancy. "

    Slash smiled to himself. A little refreshment would do him good
    after this torture session of a class. Just as he folded the note back
    up and put it into his pocket, the dismissal bell rang.

    "Okay, class! Your homework for the night is to think of a story,
    write it, and illustrate it. I want it to be origonal, too." Ms.
    Voltinitzen told the class. "You are dismissed." Within the blink of
    an eye, desks were flipped, papers blown off the bullitein board, and
    the class was empty.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    "Hey, buddy!" Jam yelled to Slash, who was at his locker. Slash
    closed the door, and ran towards Jam. "What's up, man? Got an idea for
    your story?" Jam asked him as the duo left the building.

    "Naw. This has to be the worst assignment i ever had. I'm not in
    a creative mood." Slash replied.

    "Oh? There's a creative mood?" Jam was puzzled.

    "Yup."

    "What mood is that?" Jam asked Slash.

    "Last-minute panic." Slask simply stated as he pushed open the
    doors of Mr. Cube's Scone Shack. Slash looked down the row of booths
    to his left, and spotted Linda and Nancy. The two boys walked down to
    their booth.

    "Hi!" Nancy cheerfully greeted the two. Slash took a seat beside
    her, and jam sat down beside Linda. A waiter walked up, and left four
    scones. "We ordered for the two of you." Nancy stated, and began to
    lick her scone.

    "I heard about that crazy assignment Ms. Revolting left for your
    class. Nice, eh guys?" Jam stated to his friends.

    "I don't find it that hard. Getting into a creative mood is
    easy." Nancy replied. Slash and Jam looked at each other and started
    to laugh.

    "What's so funny?" Linda asked the two boys.

    "Nothing, forget about it." Jam said through chuckles. Slash had
    stopped laughing, and he also had finished off his scone, so he went over
    to the counter to get a few more. a minute later, Slash began to walk
    back to his booth with two more of the cold treats, but he somehow
    managed to trip over his own feet. The scones flew high into the air.

    "Uh-oh." Slash nervously said.

    "What goes up..." Jam began, but was cut off by the splat of two
    scones landing messily on Linda's head. "...must come down." Jam took
    his finger, and scraped a bit of scone off of Linda's eyelids. He
    popped the finger into his mouth, and said "Mmm... tasty." Then, Linda
    exploded.

    "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU JUST DID?!?!?" Linda screamed at the
    quivering mass on the floor that was once Slash.

    "Uh... uh... uhhh..." Slash couldn't talk.

    "Come on, buddy. Time to make like a tree and leave." Jam said as he
    grabbed Slash and took off with him. By the time the two got outside of
    Mr. Cube's, Slash had regained his composure, and began running with Jam.

    "Come on, let's see if we can make it ot my house!" Slash yelled at
    Jam. Suddenly, a red mass of Linda flew out of Mr. Cube's, on her snowboard.
    Slash thought he was as good as dead. Suddenly, Jam ducked into Mr. Dog's
    board shop. Slash followed, not knowing what was up his friends sleeve, but
    decided to trust him for once.

    "Mr. Dog, we need two High-Tech Boards, immdeiently!" Jam grabbed two of
    those boards off the shelves.

    "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT TO PURCHA..." Mr. Dog was cut off, as Slash
    threw a bag of GP at him. He caught the board Jam threw at him, and the two
    took off for the back enterance of the store.

    "Keep the damn change, we're in a hurry!" Slash yelled as he followed
    Jam out the back.

    "OKAY, BYE-BYE." Mr. Dog recited another of his annoying phrases.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Slash and jam quickly hopped on their boards and activated the speed
    fans. They began roaring through the Snow Town streets, dodging cars, cats,
    cradles, crones, and just about everything else. They had apparently lost
    linda, so Slash motioned to Jam to board into his garage. The two got off
    the boards and deactivated the fan system.

    "Let's go upstairs, Jam. Iv'e got a new video game i wanna show you!"
    Slash Said. He led Jam up to his bedroom. Slash shuffled through the pile
    of junk on the floor, and pulled out an N64 cartridge. Jam's eye's bulged.

    "Wow!" He said, "Skateboard kids 2! Let's try it!"

    After a few hours of hitting jumps, doing tricks, and crashing into
    eachother, the boys got bored of the game. Slash put down his controller.

    "You know, we should work on our english homework." Jam suggested. So,
    the two boys sat down, with pencils and paper, and begun to think. After
    fifteen minutes of thinking, and throwing out ideas, Slash began to get
    miffed.

    "Do I look like a novelist? This is impossible, I can't tell stories!"
    Slash said, obviously pissed.

    Jam thought for a minute. "Why not write about the Linda/Scone
    incident?"

    Slash looked at jam like he had farted in church. "Are you crazy? She'd
    stick my head up my ass." Jam laughed.

    "Yeah, knowing her, she'd do it."

    "These assignments don't teach you how to write, they teach you how to
    hate to write." Slash continued to complain. "Deadlines, rules, grades,
    regulations... how can you be creative if you have someone breathing down
    your neck?"

    Jam gave another suggestion. "Why not concentrate on the fun of
    creating instead of worrying about Ms. Revolting?"

    "Every time i do that, i end up in the school shrink's office." Slash
    stated matter-of-factly.

    Jam turned blue not trying to laugh. "I didn't mean have THAT much fun!"

    Suddenly, a light bulb appeared over Slash's head. " I have a wicked
    idea!"

    Jam looked at him. "For your story?"

    "No, I thought of a way I won't have to write one!" Slash said energetically.
    "Come on, we're going to visit Wendy!"

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    "Hey, guys!" Wendy greeted the two boys. They were in Wendy's Garage-
    Turned-Lab, where Wendy made all of her cool inventions.

    "Wendy, remember when you showed me a plan for a time machine?" Slash
    asked the girl-genious.

    "Uh-huh..." Wendy said. She dug through a pile of papers, and pulled out a
    blueprint.

    Slash Looked at it. "Yep, that's it! Now, is it finished?" Slash asked.

    "Yep!" Wendy walked over to a veiled object. "It's under here." Wendy
    pulled off the blanket to reveal something that looked like a silver egg with
    a domed top.

    Slash's eyes gleamed. 'I just love it when a plan comes togeather.' He
    thought to himself. "Can we borrow it?" He asked Wendy. Jam was still
    wondering what his friend could be up to.

    "Sure. But you cart it away." Wendy said. She helped the boys load it
    onto a wagon, and the boys left the garage. "Bye, see you tomorrow."

    "Come on, Jam! We gotta get back to my house?" Slash started to sprint.

    "Why?" Jam asked.

    "Wev'e gotta get off the streets before we run into Linda!" Slash said as
    the Time Machine carted along behind them. The two ran towards Slash's house.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Once back in the safety of Slash's room, he explained his plan to Jam. "It's
    6:30, right? We can take the time machine to 10:30, later tonight, where
    we'll pick up my finished assignment and bring it back." Slash told jam. Jam
    was skeptical. "Come on, iv'e got our Time-o-goggles, and everything." Slash
    threw a pair to Jam, who put them on. The duo clambered into the time machine.

    "I have a feeling that there's something very wrong here, and it's me
    sitting in this time machine." Jam said.

    "Relax! We'll be back as soon as we go." Slash said reassuringly. He hit
    a button, and the time machine was gone, along with the two snowboarders.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Jam opened his eyes to darkness. "The hell...?" He poked Slash.

    "I know exactly what's going on, Jam." Slash told him. Suddenly, the darkness
    was swept away like someone had taken a blanket off the time machine. That someone
    was Wendy, Jam, and Slash, from 5:30.

    "What? didn't we already do this? Talk about Deja vu." jam looked at
    the stunned 5:30 gang.

    "Turn around! Turn around!" Slash told him. "We went back into the past
    because we were sitting in the machine backwards!" Suddenly, because of the
    turnaround, Jam was at the helm, with all of the controls.

    "Where are we going?" jam asked Slash.

    "We're going back..." Slash said dramatically. "... to the future!"
    Slash jumped up, and went down just as fast, due to the fact that he had hit
    his head on the top of the glass dome. "Ouch..."

    Jam laughed. "10:30 it is!" Suddenly, the Time Machine dissappeared again,
    transporting the duo to 10:30, that evening.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The Time machine appeared in Slash's room, at 10:30. The 10:30 Slash and
    Jam were there to greet them, decked out in PJs instead of their usual wear.

    "Here you are! You must be the 10:30 Slash!" Slash told his double.

    "Did you have a good trip?" 10:30 Slash asked him.

    "No." Replied Jam.

    "Why do you always go on these things?" 10:30 Jam asked the Present Jam.

    Before Jam could awnser, Slash said "Greetings, 10:30 Slash and Jam. I'm
    6:30 Slash, and this is 6:30 Jam."

    "Charmed." All four of them said.

    "Down to business." Slash said. "Did you do the homework?"

    "Nope." 10:30 Slash said.

    "Nope??? Why not???" Slash was outraged.

    "Because two hours ago, I went into the future to get it." 10:30 Slash
    stated.

    "Yeah, and here i am! Where is it?!?" Slash asked again.

    "That's what I said, two hours ago." 10:30 Slash replied again.

    "I knew this would never work..." Jam held his head in his hands.

    "Right, as usual." 10:30 Jam stated.

    "You mean to say it's time for bed and you still haven't written our
    story?" Slash questioned the other Slash.

    "I thought the story was already done." 10:30 slash argued.

    "How could it be done if you didn't write it!!" Slash
    argued back.

    "It had to be done before now, because it's 10:30 and i'm supposed
    to be in bed!" 10:30 Slash yelled.

    "Wait, if the story had to be written in your past, that would mean
    i shouldv'e written it!" Slash said, after thinking a bit.

    "Well, why didn't you??" 10:30 slash yelled.

    "BECAUSE I CAME TO THE FUTURE TO PICK IT UP WHEN IT WAS DONE!!!!"
    Slash screamed, at the end of his wits.

    "If you hadn't have screwed up my past, your future wouldn't be
    like this!" 10:30 Slash yelled back.

    The two took a time-out, but it should be decribed more accurately
    as a heavy breather.

    Finally, Slash blurted out something. "If we both didn't do the
    homework, it shouldv'e been done between 6:30 and 10:30."

    "Right, we needed to do it at 7:30." 10:30 Slash agreed.

    "But, he didn't do it, or you'd have it right now." Slash explained.

    10:30 Slash's eyes widened in realization. "Right! Let's go get
    that lazy punk!"

    "Hey, Jam, lemme borrow your goggles." 10:30 Slash said. Jam threw him
    his Time-o-Goggles. "We're going to 8:30 to make that Slash do his homework."

    "We'll wait here. We're not getting involved in your schemes anymore."
    10:30 Jam stated.

    "We'll be right back!" 10:30 Slash said, and then the Time Machine was
    gone, ceast to exist from the time frame of 10:30.

    "This has to be the least efficent way to write a paper." Jam said,
    staring at the place his friends used to occupy.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    8:30 Slash was lying on his bed, reading a comic book. Suddenly,
    a time machine appeared beside his bed. Two other Slashes climbed out,
    tripping all over eachother.

    "Yikes! My past AND future!" 8:30 Slash yelped. The two other
    Slashes grabbed his comic book and tossed it aside.

    "Get to work, you loafer!" 10:30 Slash said, pushing 8:30 Slash
    to his desk.

    "Hey!" 8:30 Slash Protested, "why should i have to do all the work
    by myself??? Either of you could do it, too!"

    "But i didn't at 6:30, and now it's 8:30." Slash replied.

    "And at 10:30 it will be too late. You're the last chance." 10:30
    Slash added.

    "Not really. There's always the 7:30 Slash, and the 9:30 slash, and
    the 8:29 Slash, and..." 8:30 Slash was cut off.

    "Are you gonna start writing, or do we have to pound you?" Slash rolled
    up his sleve as he spoke. 8:30 Slash smiled.

    "Go ahead and hit me. my future self will be the one who hurts." 8:30
    Slash said diabolically.

    "Damn." 10:30 Slash said, uncurling his fists. "Whose idea was it
    anyway, to go back in time???"

    All the Slashes pointed to eachother. "His."

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    "You know, Jam." 10:30 Jam said, "If the 8:30 Slash is anything like the
    other Slashes, i'll bet he isn't gonna write that story."

    Jam blinked his eyes. "You're right. Why don't we write a story while
    waiting for them?"

    "Yeah! Slash could use it for his class, then!" 10:30 Jam was thrilled
    at the idea. "I'll write it down, and you illustrate."

    "Okay!" Jam agreed. "What should we write about?"

    10:30 Jam had an idea. "Slash isn't here, let's write about him!"

    "Okay, cool." Jam began to draw. He stopped after a few lines, and looked at
    his sheeet of paper. "You know, Slash is easy to draw. You just draw a big
    mouth, and add some hair."

    Just as the two Jams finished the project, the Time Machine appeared. The
    two Slashes climbed out. "We're back, but we didn't get the homework." Slash said.
    "Now it's 10:30 and we're doomed."

    10:30 Jam handed over some papers. "Here you go. We wrote a story for you
    while you were gone."

    Slash was excited. "You did!" He took the papers. "We're all done now! Thanks,
    Jams! We can go back to 6:30 now!" Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

    "Slash?" It was Slash's mom. "Aren't you in bed yet?"

    Jam and Slash took the Time-o-Goggles and quickly hopped into the time machine.
    "we'll be you in a few hours! So long!" Slash said as he activated the time travel
    engine.

    "Don't come in, mom! I'm... uh... changing into my PJs!" 10:30 Slash said to
    cover the duo's escape into the past. "10:30 Jam, i think it's time for you to go
    home. See you tomorrow, at school!" 10:30 Slash opened his bedroom window, as 10:30
    Jam nodded in agreement and exited through it. There was a rustle of tree
    branches, and footsteps through the snow, leading into the black of the night. 10:30
    Slash was alone. Suddenly, his mom walked into the room.

    "Did you write your story for class tomorrow?" She asked.

    "Kinda." 10:30 Slash Replied.

    "What do you mean, kinda???" His mom asked.

    "Well, me and Jam had to do a lot of time travelling to get it fin..." 10:30
    Slash was cut off.

    "Is it done or not???" His mom asked again, a little peeved.

    "Oh, it's done." Slash Replied. His mom smiled. "I just haven't read it."

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    "All right, Slash! It's your turn to read your story to the class."
    Ms. Voltinitzen said to the boy. "Do you have it?"

    "Yep!" Slash bounded out of his chair and ran to the front fo the class. "MY
    story is entitled 'How Jam Saves The Day...' " Slash looked over the title, and read
    the rest of it. " '... No Thanks To Slash, The Time-Travelling Turkety.' " Slash
    thought about what he just said. "WHAT?!"

    Ms. Voltinitzen looked at him. "Is there a problem?"

    "There WILL be for a certain 'Time-Travelling Turkey' after school." Slash was
    steaming red, almost like Linda a day earlier.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Slash stormed into Mr. Cube's after school. "OKAY, YOU!" Slash pointed at Jam,
    who was sitting with Tommy and Wendy at their usual booth.

    Jam sounded all-innocent. "Me?"

    Slash was irate. "This story you wrote is about ME trying to get OUT of writing
    the STORY!! You made my time-travelling sound like LUNACY!!!" Slash screamed. "And
    the illustration!!! You drew the three of me fighting! I was the laughing stock of
    the whole class!"

    "As if he wasn't before." Jam whispered to Tommy and Wendy. They both giggled to
    themselves. "Um, what grade did it get?" Jam asked Slash.

    Slash looked at the attached note. "A+. Very creative. The 'Jam' Narration was a
    clever touch. I'm glad to see you're finally applying yourself."

    Jam was pleased. "A+? maybe i should send this to the New Yorker... heh heh heh."

    "BUT EVEN SO!!!" Slash was still hopping mad. Unfortunately, Linda came in. She
    held up a few bombs.

    "Slash, you're gonna get it now." Was all she said. Then, she started to throw
    bombs at him. Slash took off down the street, with Linda in hot persuit. Jam, Wendy,
    and Tommy looked out the door of Mr. Cube's and watched the scene.

    'hmm... maybe i should write a story about this.' Jam thought to himself.