ZADANJE PREVODŽENJA - TRANSLATION EXERCISE

Joined: November 27th, 2008, 3:38 pm

January 29th, 2011, 7:23 pm #1

OUR DEEPEST FEAR - Marianne Williamson
Here is a excerpt of text from American writer Marianne Williamson's book "A RETURN TO LOVE", which I have started to translate into Medžuslovjanski.
Someone online has made a translation of the English text into Bosnian - although I do not believe it is a good translation (in other words, the Bosnian translation does not truly capture the full meaning of the English text - in my opinion ).
I invite you all to translate this - perhaps first into your native language and then into "your medžuslovjanski".
Thank you!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

"Naš najdublji strah nije da smo nesposobni.
Naš najdublji strah je da smo moćni izvan svih granica. Plaši nas naše svijetlo, a ne naš mrak.
Pitamo se, Ko sam ja da budem briljantan, divan, talentovan, nevjerovatan?
Ustvari, ko si ti da ne budeš?
Ti si božije dijete.
Nečeš pomoći svijetu ponašajući se skromno.
Nema ništa prosvijetljujuće u tome što češ se spustiti tako da se drugi ljudi oko tebe ne osjećaju nesigurno.
Svima nam je suđeno da blistamo, kao djeca. Rođeni smo da očitujemo božiju slavu koja je u nama.
Ona nije samo u nekima od nas; ona je u svima.
I kada svijetlu dopustimo da sija, mi nesvjesno dajemo odobrenje i drugim ljudima da rade isto.
I kao što se oslobađamo našeg straha, tako naše prisustvo automatski oslobađa druge."


Please consider 3 levels of "tests" for word formulation:

1. Logical, Analytical or Commonly Slavic
2. That it "makes sense" - to the people (not just the creators) - "will the people both accept & use it?"

3. Avoid "conflicts"
www.MED?USLOVJANSKI.com - Grammar
www.INTERSLAVIC.info - Lexicon
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Joined: December 14th, 2009, 3:33 pm

January 30th, 2011, 3:24 am #2

Srbski....

Naš najdublji strah nije da smo neadekvatni (neodgovarajući).
Naš najdublji strah je da smo prekoměrno moćni.
Světlost naša, a ne tama, je to čega se najviše bojimo.
Pitamo se: "Ko sam to ja da bih bio sjajan, veličanstven, nadaren, čudesan?"
Zapravo, ko si pak ti da to ne budeš?
Ti si děte Boga.
Tvoja skromnost neće pomoći světu.
Nema ničega prosvěćenoga u ustručavanju da se drugi ne bi osěćali nesigurno u tvojoj okolini.
Svi bismo trebali sjati kako to děca čine.
Rodili smo se da bismo prazdnovali slavu Boga koja je u nama.
Ta slava nije samo u nekim od nas, no u svakom.
Te kako dozvolimo našem světlu sjati, tim nesvěstno dozvoljavamo drugim ljudima učiniti isto.
Kako se oslobodimo sopstvenog straha, naše prisutstvo nesvěstno oslobadja druge istoga.

A Slovianski slědi vskorě.
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Joined: November 27th, 2008, 3:38 pm

January 30th, 2011, 3:46 am #3

Medžuslovjanski #1

Naš najglubšij strah ne jest to, že my jesmo nesposobnje.
Naš najglubšij strah jest že my jesmo mocne iznad vse granici.
On jest naše svetlo, a ne naša temnost', kotore najviše nas streši.
My sprošivamo se: kto jesem da budem blesklivy blisklivy, dobropogledny, obdareny, basnoslovny basnosloveny?
Zapravdu, kto ty jeseš da to ne budeš?
Ty jeseš djetem Boga / Slavnej Sili*.
Ne budeš pomogati svetu, postupajuči se skromno. {Ne pomogaš na svetu, kogdy postupaš se skromno}
Ne ima ništo prosvečenego, kogdy se stremati/sderžati, abi inje ljudi ne čuti se v nebezopasnosti tebe.
Je to vse naša sudbina, aby bleskati bliskati, tak jak deti.
My urodili se, aby objaviti slava Sili (Boga), kotora vnutr nas jest;
a ne jedino vnutr nektoryh od nas - ona jest vo vseh {ALT: v každym človekah (človeke?)}.
I jak to njek bleska bliska vlastnym svetlem, my bez-znatelno / nezavestno / nesvjesno nesvedomno / nesvedomne dajamo inyh ljudjam dozvoljenje do tego samego.
Jako že my se osvobadžamo našyh vlastnyh strahov, našo prisustvje avtomatično uvolnja drugyh.

* - Sila > "The Force" as in "May the Force Be With You"
(I don't like to use the word "God"; I prefer "The Force")

Prosim, davaj mne tvoje komentari.....
Please consider 3 levels of "tests" for word formulation:

1. Logical, Analytical or Commonly Slavic
2. That it "makes sense" - to the people (not just the creators) - "will the people both accept & use it?"

3. Avoid "conflicts"
www.MED?USLOVJANSKI.com - Grammar
www.INTERSLAVIC.info - Lexicon
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Joined: January 10th, 2007, 12:22 pm

January 30th, 2011, 9:29 am #4

Russian:

Наш самый большой страх это не то что мы неадекватны.
Наш самый большой страх это то что мы безгранично сильны. Мы боимся нашего света, не нашей темноты. Мы себя спрашиваем, "Кто я такой чтобы быть гениальным, красивым, талантливым, потрясающим?"
На самом то деле, кем ты не можешь быть?
Ты сын Бога.
Удовлетворятся своей неинтересной жизнью не служит миру.
Ты ничему не научишься если сьежишься чтобы не тревожить других.
Мы все должны светится как дети. Мы рождены показать славу Господа которая у нас внутри.
Она не только в некоторых, она у во всех.
Когда мы светимся, мы подсознательно разрешаем всем светится.
Когда мы избавимся от своего страха, наше присутсвие освобождает остальных.

this is a ridiculous text, it took me way too long to translate it to Russian and it's not even a good translation
Bo v c'omu žytti pomiž baletom i svobodoju zavždy potribno vybyraty svobodu, navit' jakščo ce čehoslovac'kyj general.
Sergij Žadan "Anarchy in the Ukr"
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Joined: May 28th, 2010, 10:55 pm

January 30th, 2011, 2:46 pm #5

Македонски:

Нашиот најдлабоко втемелен страв не е сопствената неспособност, туку сопствената прекумерна моќ. Нашата светлост е таа што не плаши, не нашата темнина. Самите се запрашуваме: „Кој сум јас да бидам брилијантен, сјаен, талентиран, неверојатен?“
Впрочем, зошто не би бил?
Ти си божјо дете.
Играјќи скромно, ти си беспотребен за светот.
Нема ништо просветлено во самоомаловажување во корист на другите.
Сите ние сме направени да блескаме, како деца. Родени сме да ја уважуваме божјата слава која е вродена во нас. Не само во некои од нас, туку во сите од нас.
И како што си дозволуваме себе си да блескаме, така потсвесно им даваме дозвола и на другите да блескаат.
Како што се ослободуваме од стравта, нашето присуство ги ослободува останатите.
?V velikomu narodam geniju se gnezdo tkaje? -- Vladika Petar II Petrovič Njego?
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Joined: October 12th, 2010, 12:50 pm

February 1st, 2011, 6:08 pm #6

polish:

Naszym największym lękiem nie jest to, że jesteśmy nie wystarczający.
Nasz największy lek to to, że jesteśmy potężni ponad miarę.
To drzemiące w nas światło, nie mrok, najbardziej nas przeraża.
Pytamy samych siebie:
Kim ja jestem by być genialny, wspaniały, utalentowany, fantastyczny?
Właściwie, kim nie będziesz?
Jesteś dzieckiem bożym
Grasz małą rolę - świata nie zbawisz
Nie jest oświecone kulenie się, by inni nie czuli się niepewnie w
twojej obecności.
Wszyscy istniejemy by błyszczeć, jak dzieci. Narodziliśmy się, by
manifestować chwałę bożą, która jest w nas.
Nie tylko w niektórych z nas, w nas wszystkich.
I gdy pozwalamy zabłysnąć naszemu własnemu światłu, nieświadomie dajemy innym ludziom przyzwolenie by czynić jednako
Gdyż jako że jesteśmy wyzwoleni z naszych własnych lęków, nasza obecność natychmiast uwalnia innych.
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Joined: December 14th, 2009, 3:33 pm

February 1st, 2011, 9:00 pm #7

wrote:polish:

Kim ja jestem by być genialny, wspaniały, utalentowany, fantastyczny?
Nie jest oświecone kulenie się, by inni nie czuli się niepewnie w
twojej obecności.
Narodziliśmy się, by manifestować chwałę bożą, która jest w nas.
I gdy pozwalamy zabłysnąć naszemu własnemu światłu, nieświadomie dajemy innym ludziom przyzwolenie by czynić jednako
Gdyż jako że jesteśmy wyzwoleni z naszych własnych lęków, nasza obecność natychmiast uwalnia innych.
How come you don't have any conjuntion between two dependent clauses?
You always write "že" with present but never with "conditional", like "że jesteśmy" but not "że byśmy byli". But what I dont understand even more, how come you write "my by być" and not "my by byli".
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Joined: October 12th, 2010, 12:50 pm

February 2nd, 2011, 10:42 am #8

wrote:But what I dont understand even more, how come you write "my by być" and not "my by byli".
I wrote "Narodziliśmy się (my), by manifestować chwałę bożą" I could wrote aswell "Narodziliśmy się, aby manifestować chwałę bożą", Narodziliśmy się, żeby manifestować chwałę bożą, Narodziliśmy się, w celu manifestowania chwały bożej"

i must admit I did not translate text exacly, becouse in my head it will be less lyrical in polish, i chose in my opinion more siutable forms
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Joined: January 10th, 2007, 2:10 pm

February 2nd, 2011, 11:19 am #9

And what is the difference betwen the following?

1) čoby manifestovati (aby manifestovatì, daby manifestovatì, žeby manifestovatì)
2) čoby manifestovali (aby manifestovali, daby manifestovali, žeby manifestovali)

In Czech only 2) is allowed, so I wonder what 1) is supposed to mean.

(In case of need move this offtopic to a separate thread.)
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Joined: January 10th, 2007, 12:22 pm

February 2nd, 2011, 1:02 pm #10

1) and 2) seems the same to me, actually

2) is not grammatical in Russian, though
Bo v c'omu žytti pomiž baletom i svobodoju zavždy potribno vybyraty svobodu, navit' jakščo ce čehoslovac'kyj general.
Sergij Žadan "Anarchy in the Ukr"
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