Large furnace obliterates everyone - only joking!

Anything not related to sport can be posted here. Keep it clean guys!
Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

02 Oct 2017, 19:42 #351

Another one for football, overuse of the word 'crisis' and everything surrounding it. Unfortunately this trend means Klopp's job is not as safe as it should be right now, but I think the owners can see sense. Half the legendary coaches in the game's history would be tarnished if that kind of 24/7 media existed back then.

The team have been playing well enough, just one of those months where a ball the other side of the post here or a ball hitting a different part of an opponent's shin there creates wildly different headlines... never been to the circus so I'll take the word of any critics who call the Premier League that...
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

02 Oct 2017, 23:34 #352

Bring back Hodgson.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

13 Nov 2017, 10:29 #353

mattsanger92 wrote: Another one for football, overuse of the word 'crisis' and everything surrounding it.
And on a slightly more serious note away from football... looks like large furnaces make fantastic Pie:



Thoughts and prayers for the patron saint of this thread.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

16 Nov 2017, 15:57 #354

The annual 'Christmas starting early' thing. This year seeing decorations/adverts/songs popping up in the first half of November (even saw the odd shop starting before Halloween), just why?

Although it has produced a pretty good 'ridiculous from all angles' story of the week.
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

16 Nov 2017, 16:48 #355

Presumably, despite its undoubted abhorrability, this cynical aggressive retail strategy gets results. 
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

16 Nov 2017, 21:18 #356

And it does kind of make me want to try one of those Jesausage rolls...
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

17 Nov 2017, 12:13 #357

It might be your Last Supper.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

22 Nov 2017, 00:30 #358

nfm24 wrote: It might be your Last Supper.
Had one yesterday, not my last supper (as of right now it's my most recent lunch though), nor was it the miraculous world-changing sensation they advertised it as. Just an average sausage roll really. These advertisers...
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

22 Nov 2017, 00:56 #359

Those whole celebrity allegations right now, it's disgusting but not too surprising (Hollywood establishment system & cover-up shocker). Ordinarily couldn't really care less as long as justice gets served.

And then it turns out John Lasseter might be involved, thought Pixar were meant to be different 😢. It does make you wonder how deep this really runs. Less of a mystery is why this guy might feel the need to take advantage of every brief moment of female proximity he gets.

But to play devil's advocate, while what he's admitting to isn't right in the workplace, is 'hugging too long'* really deserving of being conflated with the Harvey Weinsteins of this world? It's just as Pie foretold:



*Spoiler alert: Lotso Huggin' was the villain in Toy Story 3, maybe that was Lasseter's Freudian slip.
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

22 Nov 2017, 01:25 #360

It's just the season for throwing people under the bus before checking to see if the bus driver is back from his fag break.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

22 Nov 2017, 12:38 #361

nfm24 wrote: It's just the season for throwing people under the bus before checking to see if the bus driver is back from his fag break.
Tis' the season (still November though).

But it does seem that way, although suspicious that Pixar needed to throw anyone under the bus, they're already not based in Los Angeles so could claim to be outside the 'Hollywood bubble' (although Lasseter is also head of animation at Disney). Maybe they feared they'd be investigated anyway and wanted to beat the media to the punch, but no smoke without fire because if you're going to throw someone under the bus it shouldn't really be the face of the company and the guy at the very top. They've handled it the right way as he'll probably just come back when the heat's died down, really don't think a few 'unwanted hugs' are on the level of what some of the others were doing, a self-enforced suspension seems about right.

I think after Chris Savino (creator of The Loud House, which he based off of his experiences growing up with multiple sisters, so would in theory have more respect for women than most) was found to be doing stuff like that no-one can really be trusted. Wonder what President 🐱grabber thinks of it all?

It's how Hollywood reacts that's the big test, it can't return to the status quo (morally, not doubting it's likely to happen anyway) but they also can't overcompensate for PR. One of the most popular Twitter replies to the Lasseter news suggested his replacement must be a woman. No, how about it must be the best qualified person for the job with a clean record?
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

22 Nov 2017, 13:45 #362

I'd like to see the whole of Hollywood shut down, paved over, and turned into a giant bus driver training school.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

23 Nov 2017, 15:32 #363

nfm24 wrote: I'd like to see the whole of Hollywood shut down, paved over, and turned into a giant bus driver training school.
As I mentioned above, Pixar are based pretty far away from Hollywood so they avoid that fate. Proceed.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

27 Nov 2017, 12:55 #364

Hopefully an extra day off work in the future (provided I'm in a job to have a day off from by then)...
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

27 Nov 2017, 13:25 #365

Well that'll give the rolling news something other than Brexit to blabber on cluelessly about.   Speculative news channel waffle should be replaced with interlude music and the testcard, until some actual news happens.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

27 Nov 2017, 16:04 #366

nfm24 wrote: Well that'll give the rolling news something other than Brexit to blabber on cluelessly about.
Unfortunately some government types might see Meghan's dress reveal to be a good day to bury bad news...

Meanwhile with the American participant their interest in the wedding might actually overtake ours for this one, they were definitely mad for it last time out, nothing like the Canadian one though:

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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

27 Nov 2017, 20:36 #367

mattsanger92 wrote:Unfortunately some government types might see Meghan's dress reveal to be a good day to bury bad news...
How big is the dress?
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

29 Nov 2017, 13:53 #368

Monthly / quarterly "account statements" sent by loyalty card schemes.   For example Shell, which this week sent me two separate quarterly statements with different points totals, one of which addressed me as "Dear Ms. Morrison".   Such emails are generally at least 50 KB each, being filled with unnecessary images of logos and other photos of nonsense.

E.g. Shell's recent effort was apparently aimed at informing me that it was possible to buy coffee and various snacks while buying petrol, and included several large photos of cups of coffee and snacks.  And to inform me that it would be cold in the next few months, augmented by a picture of a gloved hand.   

Perhaps they should instead concentrate on informing me as to why they chose to shut down my nearest Shell garage several months ago, and when it will be reopening.
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Joined: 03 Nov 2006, 16:49

29 Nov 2017, 15:18 #369

nfm24 wrote: Monthly / quarterly "account statements" sent by loyalty card schemes.   For example Shell, which this week sent me two separate quarterly statements with different points totals, one of which addressed me as "Dear Ms. Morrison".   Such emails are generally at least 50 KB each, being filled with unnecessary images of logos and other photos of nonsense.

E.g. Shell's recent effort was apparently aimed at informing me that it was possible to buy coffee and various snacks while buying petrol, and included several large photos of cups of coffee and snacks.  And to inform me that it would be cold in the next few months, augmented by a picture of a gloved hand.   

Perhaps they should instead concentrate on informing me as to why they chose to shut down my nearest Shell garage several months ago, and when it will be reopening.
or they can inform you about the things that happen in Nigeria (human rights, etc...)
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

29 Nov 2017, 16:06 #370

Yeah!  They might as well take some pride in it.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

08 Dec 2017, 20:38 #371

Control status: taken back. Second-most sensible outcome at the moment 👍, bettered only by just calling the whole thing off. So much of this faff could be seen coming so cheers Boris 🙄, hope your similar but much more likeable dad comes back with some spare food from the celebrajungle.

Speaking of septuagenerian politicians with unique blonde hairdos, the diplomatic tangerine tries his small hand at Israel/Palestine...
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

08 Dec 2017, 21:24 #372

This deal is about as meaningful as a couple of five-year-old kids swapping marbles.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

08 Dec 2017, 22:44 #373

Not a slight against new media money, but an interesting-to-share list of the top 10 earners of 2017. More interested in the fact that I've only heard of 7 of them, with 2 of the strangers to me being the top 2 and the other one being the 6-year-old that's somehow made $11m this year.

I'm presuming that's still a lot more than some of you will have heard of though, so to brief you quickly Dude Perfect are the most interesting, Logan Paul is a hyped-up annoying maniac that's basically the stereotype for what older people think the YouTube generation are, and his brother Jake is the same but worse, also guilty of completely lowering the bar in terms of content quality and being a bad person. The rest are pretty harmless.

As for YouTube itself, I remember this being a lot better in previous years:

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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

08 Dec 2017, 22:57 #374

I don't understand anything.   Only that advertisers have too much money to spend.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

09 Dec 2017, 11:52 #375

nfm24 wrote:Only that advertisers have too much money to spend.
Better than advertisers keeping it to themselves I guess. And it looks as though the system's tilting against YouTubers now:

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Joined: 31 Oct 2006, 22:16

09 Dec 2017, 17:01 #376

I don't understand anything at all.
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

09 Dec 2017, 17:11 #377

mattsanger92 wrote:
nfm24 wrote:Only that advertisers have too much money to spend.
Better than advertisers keeping it to themselves I guess.
They could make the prices of their terrible products lower.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

10 Dec 2017, 11:33 #378

TheRoonBa wrote: I don't understand anything at all.
Presumably you have a decent grip on geography at least, unlike some people who claim to be but then are utter miserable failures, wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry when I saw this:

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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

10 Dec 2017, 14:18 #379

I don't think your posts are helping Mark to understand anything!
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

10 Dec 2017, 17:42 #380

nfm24 wrote:I don't think your posts are helping Mark to understand anything!
I'm trying to cause a short-circuit. To test a programme you need to look for the glitches, right?
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

10 Dec 2017, 21:12 #381

Nah, nobody does that.  They release the program, and only react to glitches that the customers discover.

Hence Microsoft updates itself more often than I make toast.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

10 Dec 2017, 23:03 #382

nfm24 wrote:Hence Microsoft updates itself more often than I make toast.
Tell me about it, got one on standby that I've kept putting the 'remind me in 3 days' option on for over a week now, it'll get forced on me at some point when I really don't want it.

Never had an Apple product so I can't really compare, but I've heard all about the lack of compatability with non-Apple stuff and the 'planned obsolecence' (not that it's unique to them though), so it's always been off-putting to me from the start.
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

10 Dec 2017, 23:47 #383

Etch a Sketch was better, no enforced updates, and you couldn't have your bank account hacked.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

18 Dec 2017, 19:55 #384

Another technology gripe - the increasing lack of websites offering a 'dark mode'. It's not gothic/emo to want most of the screen to not be the brightest possible colour...

Meanwhile, after all these years, I'm finally joining the ranks of the 'liberal elite' by going to university! As a temp worker, for just over a month or so, on a rented office off-campus.
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

19 Dec 2017, 18:13 #385

TV programmes of the form "celebrity does something they always wanted to do but which is too dull to televise with somebody who isn't a celebrity".   More and more reality mimics parody, as the titles of these shows resemble the suggestions of Alan Partridge.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

19 Dec 2017, 19:50 #386

nfm24 wrote:TV programmes of the form "celebrity does something they always wanted to do but which is too dull to televise with somebody who isn't a celebrity".
I think they've really oversaturated the market of shows that 'normal people' would take part in, something like Family Fortunes for years has only broadcast in its 'celebrity' (with their family members!) form because apparently that's the only thing that will make people watch it (not that I would anyway mind).

The celebrajungle I like though, must have mentioned it before that the fact they're properly going out of their comfort zone (rather than doing a quiz or learning to make crumpets or whatever), having to do and/or ingest various proverbial for their paycheck, plus they get reduced to a point where they're having heated arguments over someone eating strawberries.

Meanwhile, not the BBC's fault but no justice in this world of TV.
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

19 Dec 2017, 20:25 #387

I think a return to retro cheesy-but-mundane game shows is overdue.

May I suggest the following titles:

Is it hot in here or is it just me?
Patients suffering from various tropical fevers compete to survive the longest in an old folks home common room with the radiators on full blast.

What are you in for?
Prisoners and grocery shoppers exchange pleasantries, for an hour, with Les Dennis.

I thought he was dead
Contestants guess whether forgotten celebrities from the 1970s are still alive.  At the end of each round, a curtain lifts to reveal either the celebrity or the grim reaper.

Is that you then is it?
People try to guess the intended meaning of increasingly vague questions from older relatives.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

19 Dec 2017, 20:43 #388

Any chance you could throw together a 2017 Wipe? The BBC currently have a Charlie Brooker-shaped void that could do with being filled...
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

20 Dec 2017, 00:28 #389

Give the job to Philomena Cunk.  If she's not available, get one of the One Show presenters, which are all essentially Cunkoid.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

20 Dec 2017, 18:04 #390

nfm24 wrote: Give the job to Philomena Cunk.  If she's not available, get one of the One Show presenters, which are all essentially Cunkoid.
Bit harsh to leave Barry Shitpeas out of the discussion...
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

20 Dec 2017, 23:26 #391

A Cunk-Shitpeas two-hander, I like it already.
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

21 Dec 2017, 22:45 #392

nfm24 wrote: A Cunk-Shitpeas two-hander, I like it already.
Come to think of it, "Cunk-Shitpeas two-hander" sounds like a terrible flashback to an incident when Mabel ate something that vehemently disagreed with her.
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Joined: 31 Oct 2006, 22:16

21 Dec 2017, 22:58 #393

nfm24 wrote: I think a return to retro cheesy-but-mundane game shows is overdue.

May I suggest the following titles:

Is it hot in here or is it just me?
Patients suffering from various tropical fevers compete to survive the longest in an old folks home common room with the radiators on full blast.

What are you in for?
Prisoners and grocery shoppers exchange pleasantries, for an hour, with Les Dennis.

I thought he was dead
Contestants guess whether forgotten celebrities from the 1970s are still alive.  At the end of each round, a curtain lifts to reveal either the celebrity or the grim reaper.

Is that you then is it?
People try to guess the intended meaning of increasingly vague questions from older relatives.
I'd like to see these added at some point:

Misfortunes of completely unrelated people
Total strangers answer questions, which if they get correct, allows something bad to happen to the other player.

Shit, I missed the board
Contestants play darts, with the darts landing furthest away from the bullseye winning the star prizes (harpsichord, jiffy bag, papier-mâché Stegosaurus, etc.)

Deaf Breakup
Contestants choose between 3 hopefuls who mime out a massive argument. The winners get to go on a date and breakup for real, with sound.

Pin the horse on the tail
Strongmen compete to pin horses onto their detached tails.
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

22 Dec 2017, 01:12 #394

Park the Bus
Unemployed football managers undergo training towards their bus driver's licence.

Bootfall
Teams of 11 players have to catch as many boots falling down from the sky as possible in 90 minutes.

On me 'ead, son
Parents attempt to balance their male offspring on their heads.
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

22 Dec 2017, 01:15 #395

For Christ's Sake, Archie!
Archie McPherson attempts to compel Scottish football highlights to appear on TV by answering imaginary phone calls, in order to avoid the wrongful death by crucifixion of our Lord.
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Joined: 31 Oct 2006, 22:16

22 Dec 2017, 11:58 #396

nfm24 wrote: For Christ's Sake, Archie!
Archie McPherson attempts to compel Scottish football highlights to appear on TV by answering imaginary phone calls, in order to avoid the wrongful death by crucifixion of our Lord.
And in that way, Archie McPherson thus becomes the saviour of the saviour.  But then that might cause problems, as then Jesus would die of natural causes and the whole message about dying for our sins would be mucked up.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

22 Dec 2017, 23:19 #397

Muh sovrunty (that could have literally been done at any time within the EU, and anyone who cared that badly about it could have got a cover from the Poundshop or something).

And the change will be to the unique and 'iconic' blue, but not even the same shade as before (which looks more black to be honest) rendering the whole thing a tad pointless.

My passport expires in mid-2019 so in a normal situation I'd have to renew 6 months early to be on the safe side, but now do I go early/on-time to get a maroon relic (that probably wouldn't give me a few year's extension on what said relic can do re. airport queues), or am I just going to get charged for a new blue one by the end of that year?
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Joined: 31 Oct 2006, 22:16

22 Dec 2017, 23:43 #398

£500 million to change a passport colour.

All sorts of people coming out to say how much it means to them to have a different colour passport.

I feel like vomiting on them all.

The key point of that link is "The EU has never compelled the UK to change the colour of its passport."

So they changed it themselves, and are now changing it back, at the cost of the taxpayers.  Fuckwits.
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 10:46

23 Dec 2017, 00:32 #399

In fairness (not that it's too deserved), there's also mention about new technologies which were going to be introduced anyway, or something.

But yes it's a massive waste for everyone, pretty big amount to spend on something so frivolous, someone should print that on a bus...
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Joined: 07 Apr 2007, 16:28

23 Dec 2017, 15:45 #400

It's good that they're taking care of the important matters first. 
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