Making Lemonade.

Making Lemonade.

Joined: August 2nd, 2001, 4:29 pm

January 29th, 2003, 2:59 pm #1

This is more or less a progress report.

I have recovered quite well from the surgery. There have been some rough spots, parts just abrasive enough to make a fine batch of lemonade.

First off, my face. Docs were quite worried that my face was going to sag. HA! It gets worse then that. A long time ago, I got shot in the jaw. It did some nerve damage in my face, leaving one side of my mouth fixed in a turned up position. Giving me a lopsided grin. Now, the other side of my face is paralyzed, and, instead of sagging, has pulled upward. I now have a permanately fixed grin, a rictus, almost like our friend The Joker from Batman. People now assume I am in a fan-frigging-tastic mood because I am smiling all the time now. Any idea how hard it is to be angry and taken serious when you can't frown? Or scowl? Or express any sort of emotion with your face than sheer bliss? So far, it's been a real riot. Wife and her little squirrelly friends have been playing a game called "Guess What Doc is Feeling." They provoke me, tease me a bit, and give me a ribbing. And they think it's fine because I sit there, just a grinning. Hats off to John Lennon, I am now capable of smiling while I kill

But, it really has been for the best.

My hair is coming back. Slowly. They had to use this Nair type stuff for a long time on my scalp and face to keep my hair and beard from growing back and getting clogged up in the scars. Well, the gashes have closed and, now, I have a few small scattered clumps of hair coming back. I have been overjoyed actually.

And now, the one I am still squeezing. I had to have what teeth I had left pulled during the operation. So, now I have to gum everything I eat. Can I get dentures? Probably not, from what I have been told. With no salivary glands, I have no means to moisten my mouth. I have to use an artificial saliva spray all the time as it is. I was told if I got dentures, with no way to moisten and lubricate my mouth, they would rub my gums and the inside of my mouth and cheeks raw in no time.

So where is the bright side? Well, now, much to my dismay, I am actually forced to eat healthier. It's hard to gum a porterhouse steak. But it's easy to gum carrots and carrots actually make my gums feel good when I try to moosh them. It's like scratching an itch you never knew you had, but, it feels mighty good. I can still gum fried chicken with some effort, but, chicken is easier to eat when it has been baked or grilled to the point where it falls apart with a fork. I got one of those George Forman grills for xmas. It works rather well actually, I recommend everybody try one.

Always look on the bright side of life :D
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Charis
Charis

January 29th, 2003, 4:05 pm #2

> This is more or less a progress report.

Cool, I've been meaning to ask.

> has pulled upward. I now have a permanately fixed grin...

The irony of this is overwhelming!!

> Well, now, much to my dismay, I am actually forced
> to eat healthier. It's hard to gum a porterhouse steak.

Ouch!!

Glad things are going well, and for your keeping a smile,
Charis
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Occhi
Occhi

January 29th, 2003, 4:07 pm #3

This is more or less a progress report.

I have recovered quite well from the surgery. There have been some rough spots, parts just abrasive enough to make a fine batch of lemonade.

First off, my face. Docs were quite worried that my face was going to sag. HA! It gets worse then that. A long time ago, I got shot in the jaw. It did some nerve damage in my face, leaving one side of my mouth fixed in a turned up position. Giving me a lopsided grin. Now, the other side of my face is paralyzed, and, instead of sagging, has pulled upward. I now have a permanately fixed grin, a rictus, almost like our friend The Joker from Batman. People now assume I am in a fan-frigging-tastic mood because I am smiling all the time now. Any idea how hard it is to be angry and taken serious when you can't frown? Or scowl? Or express any sort of emotion with your face than sheer bliss? So far, it's been a real riot. Wife and her little squirrelly friends have been playing a game called "Guess What Doc is Feeling." They provoke me, tease me a bit, and give me a ribbing. And they think it's fine because I sit there, just a grinning. Hats off to John Lennon, I am now capable of smiling while I kill

But, it really has been for the best.

My hair is coming back. Slowly. They had to use this Nair type stuff for a long time on my scalp and face to keep my hair and beard from growing back and getting clogged up in the scars. Well, the gashes have closed and, now, I have a few small scattered clumps of hair coming back. I have been overjoyed actually.

And now, the one I am still squeezing. I had to have what teeth I had left pulled during the operation. So, now I have to gum everything I eat. Can I get dentures? Probably not, from what I have been told. With no salivary glands, I have no means to moisten my mouth. I have to use an artificial saliva spray all the time as it is. I was told if I got dentures, with no way to moisten and lubricate my mouth, they would rub my gums and the inside of my mouth and cheeks raw in no time.

So where is the bright side? Well, now, much to my dismay, I am actually forced to eat healthier. It's hard to gum a porterhouse steak. But it's easy to gum carrots and carrots actually make my gums feel good when I try to moosh them. It's like scratching an itch you never knew you had, but, it feels mighty good. I can still gum fried chicken with some effort, but, chicken is easier to eat when it has been baked or grilled to the point where it falls apart with a fork. I got one of those George Forman grills for xmas. It works rather well actually, I recommend everybody try one.

Always look on the bright side of life :D
Chicken Soup.

Glad to hear things are on the mend, hope all is well out there in the Carolina Pine country.

Guess your situation makes the phrase "Grin and Bear it" take on a whole new meaning.
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Lissa
Lissa

January 29th, 2003, 4:33 pm #4

This is more or less a progress report.

I have recovered quite well from the surgery. There have been some rough spots, parts just abrasive enough to make a fine batch of lemonade.

First off, my face. Docs were quite worried that my face was going to sag. HA! It gets worse then that. A long time ago, I got shot in the jaw. It did some nerve damage in my face, leaving one side of my mouth fixed in a turned up position. Giving me a lopsided grin. Now, the other side of my face is paralyzed, and, instead of sagging, has pulled upward. I now have a permanately fixed grin, a rictus, almost like our friend The Joker from Batman. People now assume I am in a fan-frigging-tastic mood because I am smiling all the time now. Any idea how hard it is to be angry and taken serious when you can't frown? Or scowl? Or express any sort of emotion with your face than sheer bliss? So far, it's been a real riot. Wife and her little squirrelly friends have been playing a game called "Guess What Doc is Feeling." They provoke me, tease me a bit, and give me a ribbing. And they think it's fine because I sit there, just a grinning. Hats off to John Lennon, I am now capable of smiling while I kill

But, it really has been for the best.

My hair is coming back. Slowly. They had to use this Nair type stuff for a long time on my scalp and face to keep my hair and beard from growing back and getting clogged up in the scars. Well, the gashes have closed and, now, I have a few small scattered clumps of hair coming back. I have been overjoyed actually.

And now, the one I am still squeezing. I had to have what teeth I had left pulled during the operation. So, now I have to gum everything I eat. Can I get dentures? Probably not, from what I have been told. With no salivary glands, I have no means to moisten my mouth. I have to use an artificial saliva spray all the time as it is. I was told if I got dentures, with no way to moisten and lubricate my mouth, they would rub my gums and the inside of my mouth and cheeks raw in no time.

So where is the bright side? Well, now, much to my dismay, I am actually forced to eat healthier. It's hard to gum a porterhouse steak. But it's easy to gum carrots and carrots actually make my gums feel good when I try to moosh them. It's like scratching an itch you never knew you had, but, it feels mighty good. I can still gum fried chicken with some effort, but, chicken is easier to eat when it has been baked or grilled to the point where it falls apart with a fork. I got one of those George Forman grills for xmas. It works rather well actually, I recommend everybody try one.

Always look on the bright side of life :D
I typically have turkey once a week (on top of having chicken some other night) and this is something I've found. Take a turkey thigh, toss it in the fry pan and add only seasonings (no oils or anything else). Cover fry pan and put heat on low. Let the thigh cook for about 45 minutes to one hour, flip thigh and recover. Cook an addition 45 minutes to one hour. Attempt to take thigh out of the pan and if thigh begins to fall apart, it's done, if not, cook an additional 30 to 45 minutes as necessary.

Litteraly, when I cook a thigh like this, all I need is a fork to pick up the pieces of thigh and eat it. Typical seasonings I use is a little bit of salt and italian herbs (a mix of herbs that can be bought in most grocery stores spices isle).
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Joined: March 5th, 2001, 7:01 pm

January 29th, 2003, 6:03 pm #5

This is more or less a progress report.

I have recovered quite well from the surgery. There have been some rough spots, parts just abrasive enough to make a fine batch of lemonade.

First off, my face. Docs were quite worried that my face was going to sag. HA! It gets worse then that. A long time ago, I got shot in the jaw. It did some nerve damage in my face, leaving one side of my mouth fixed in a turned up position. Giving me a lopsided grin. Now, the other side of my face is paralyzed, and, instead of sagging, has pulled upward. I now have a permanately fixed grin, a rictus, almost like our friend The Joker from Batman. People now assume I am in a fan-frigging-tastic mood because I am smiling all the time now. Any idea how hard it is to be angry and taken serious when you can't frown? Or scowl? Or express any sort of emotion with your face than sheer bliss? So far, it's been a real riot. Wife and her little squirrelly friends have been playing a game called "Guess What Doc is Feeling." They provoke me, tease me a bit, and give me a ribbing. And they think it's fine because I sit there, just a grinning. Hats off to John Lennon, I am now capable of smiling while I kill

But, it really has been for the best.

My hair is coming back. Slowly. They had to use this Nair type stuff for a long time on my scalp and face to keep my hair and beard from growing back and getting clogged up in the scars. Well, the gashes have closed and, now, I have a few small scattered clumps of hair coming back. I have been overjoyed actually.

And now, the one I am still squeezing. I had to have what teeth I had left pulled during the operation. So, now I have to gum everything I eat. Can I get dentures? Probably not, from what I have been told. With no salivary glands, I have no means to moisten my mouth. I have to use an artificial saliva spray all the time as it is. I was told if I got dentures, with no way to moisten and lubricate my mouth, they would rub my gums and the inside of my mouth and cheeks raw in no time.

So where is the bright side? Well, now, much to my dismay, I am actually forced to eat healthier. It's hard to gum a porterhouse steak. But it's easy to gum carrots and carrots actually make my gums feel good when I try to moosh them. It's like scratching an itch you never knew you had, but, it feels mighty good. I can still gum fried chicken with some effort, but, chicken is easier to eat when it has been baked or grilled to the point where it falls apart with a fork. I got one of those George Forman grills for xmas. It works rather well actually, I recommend everybody try one.

Always look on the bright side of life :D
Hi,

I have recovered quite well from the surgery.

That's the news we've been waiting to hear. And glad to hear it.

As to the rest, the permanent grin should be quite an advantage in poker. And I suspect that a nice heavy duty food processor can turn that porterhouse into "a nourishing health food drink." Shades of the Bassomatic

--Pete
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Joined: August 2nd, 2001, 4:29 pm

January 29th, 2003, 6:58 pm #6

This is more or less a progress report.

I have recovered quite well from the surgery. There have been some rough spots, parts just abrasive enough to make a fine batch of lemonade.

First off, my face. Docs were quite worried that my face was going to sag. HA! It gets worse then that. A long time ago, I got shot in the jaw. It did some nerve damage in my face, leaving one side of my mouth fixed in a turned up position. Giving me a lopsided grin. Now, the other side of my face is paralyzed, and, instead of sagging, has pulled upward. I now have a permanately fixed grin, a rictus, almost like our friend The Joker from Batman. People now assume I am in a fan-frigging-tastic mood because I am smiling all the time now. Any idea how hard it is to be angry and taken serious when you can't frown? Or scowl? Or express any sort of emotion with your face than sheer bliss? So far, it's been a real riot. Wife and her little squirrelly friends have been playing a game called "Guess What Doc is Feeling." They provoke me, tease me a bit, and give me a ribbing. And they think it's fine because I sit there, just a grinning. Hats off to John Lennon, I am now capable of smiling while I kill

But, it really has been for the best.

My hair is coming back. Slowly. They had to use this Nair type stuff for a long time on my scalp and face to keep my hair and beard from growing back and getting clogged up in the scars. Well, the gashes have closed and, now, I have a few small scattered clumps of hair coming back. I have been overjoyed actually.

And now, the one I am still squeezing. I had to have what teeth I had left pulled during the operation. So, now I have to gum everything I eat. Can I get dentures? Probably not, from what I have been told. With no salivary glands, I have no means to moisten my mouth. I have to use an artificial saliva spray all the time as it is. I was told if I got dentures, with no way to moisten and lubricate my mouth, they would rub my gums and the inside of my mouth and cheeks raw in no time.

So where is the bright side? Well, now, much to my dismay, I am actually forced to eat healthier. It's hard to gum a porterhouse steak. But it's easy to gum carrots and carrots actually make my gums feel good when I try to moosh them. It's like scratching an itch you never knew you had, but, it feels mighty good. I can still gum fried chicken with some effort, but, chicken is easier to eat when it has been baked or grilled to the point where it falls apart with a fork. I got one of those George Forman grills for xmas. It works rather well actually, I recommend everybody try one.

Always look on the bright side of life :D
First off, porterhouse milkshake. BLECH! That just does not sound good.

I like my turkeys deep fried, Cajun style. You soak a turkey for 2 days or so in a big white bucket filled with brine. You then inject the turkey with your liquid seasonings. Give it a quick dunk in a big bucket of buttermilk, and leave it in there a few minutes. You then drop the turkey in boiling oil, in a massive vat hung over a propane burner. You pull the turkey out and it still cooks a while from all the trapped heat. When it is done table cooking, you poke it with your finger or a fork and most of the turkey collapses, the meat falling right from the bone. Soft, juicy, and delicious. Aint nothing like a chicken fried turkey.

However, docs don't want me doing that no more. The amount of fat, saturated fat, oils, and salt are much to high. No more salted smoked turkeys either. No more of anything delicious. Sure, I can make a nice pineapple grilled chicken breast on the George Forman grill, but, it just aint the same.

BTW, my cholesterol is down to about 270ish if I recall right. It was well over 300, somewhere in the 320 to 330 or so range. Blood pressure is a bit better as well, about 180 over 100 or so. Hell of a lot better then 210 over 160 or higher. According to modern medicine, I should have had a stroke or massive bodily failure at those levels.

The only thing there seems to be a whole lot of concern about is my weight. It's bad. Not over weight, under weight. For my size, bone structure, and hight, I should weigh about 170 to 180 pounds ideally. I am five foot five, 36 inch waist, 48 inch chest, 26 inch neck. I aint tall by any means, but, what I lack in hight I make up for in spades with bulk. Not fat mind you. I have never really been a fat person. The long stretch with no solid foods and having bad hypoglycemia, my body actually ate part of it self. I am down below 140 pounds, and, lots of folks are quite worried about me. I lost a LOT of muscle mass. Doc says I even lost a bit of bone mass and density. He has me on calcium suppliments. Good news out of all of this is, I have a license to eat all the food I want, so long as it is healthy stuff.

The REAL bad news is, in a few weeks, a personal trainer is going to show up at my door with orders from the docs to get me back in shape. Why do I get the dreadful feeling this yoga instructor fellow is going to twist my scrawny ass in knots?
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Joined: August 2nd, 2001, 4:29 pm

January 30th, 2003, 3:55 am #7

This is more or less a progress report.

I have recovered quite well from the surgery. There have been some rough spots, parts just abrasive enough to make a fine batch of lemonade.

First off, my face. Docs were quite worried that my face was going to sag. HA! It gets worse then that. A long time ago, I got shot in the jaw. It did some nerve damage in my face, leaving one side of my mouth fixed in a turned up position. Giving me a lopsided grin. Now, the other side of my face is paralyzed, and, instead of sagging, has pulled upward. I now have a permanately fixed grin, a rictus, almost like our friend The Joker from Batman. People now assume I am in a fan-frigging-tastic mood because I am smiling all the time now. Any idea how hard it is to be angry and taken serious when you can't frown? Or scowl? Or express any sort of emotion with your face than sheer bliss? So far, it's been a real riot. Wife and her little squirrelly friends have been playing a game called "Guess What Doc is Feeling." They provoke me, tease me a bit, and give me a ribbing. And they think it's fine because I sit there, just a grinning. Hats off to John Lennon, I am now capable of smiling while I kill

But, it really has been for the best.

My hair is coming back. Slowly. They had to use this Nair type stuff for a long time on my scalp and face to keep my hair and beard from growing back and getting clogged up in the scars. Well, the gashes have closed and, now, I have a few small scattered clumps of hair coming back. I have been overjoyed actually.

And now, the one I am still squeezing. I had to have what teeth I had left pulled during the operation. So, now I have to gum everything I eat. Can I get dentures? Probably not, from what I have been told. With no salivary glands, I have no means to moisten my mouth. I have to use an artificial saliva spray all the time as it is. I was told if I got dentures, with no way to moisten and lubricate my mouth, they would rub my gums and the inside of my mouth and cheeks raw in no time.

So where is the bright side? Well, now, much to my dismay, I am actually forced to eat healthier. It's hard to gum a porterhouse steak. But it's easy to gum carrots and carrots actually make my gums feel good when I try to moosh them. It's like scratching an itch you never knew you had, but, it feels mighty good. I can still gum fried chicken with some effort, but, chicken is easier to eat when it has been baked or grilled to the point where it falls apart with a fork. I got one of those George Forman grills for xmas. It works rather well actually, I recommend everybody try one.

Always look on the bright side of life :D
I am now a half a century in age. I have done an awful lot in my life. Things I am pleased I had the luck to do. Big game hunting. Fishing. Being catapulted into a lake. Going jousting with real lances on real horses with the SCA. I have traveled cross country several times, well, many times, the two most memorable trips being in my van, the other being on a Jawa 125 motorcycle. I have done things that leave me with memories to treasure.

It's the things I have not done.

After my legs got crippled, I realized the one dream I had in my life would never happen. It crushed me. I have always wanted, since I was but a small child, to go and run with the bulls in Spain. There is something inspiring, incredibly romantic, and filled with the very essence of life in that one single act. I know, I probably sound pretty damn stupid. This one act that has eluded me has caused me no end of grief and frusteration. I have the money. I have the ability to travel. And yet, in a cruel twist of fate, I do not have the means to run. To do so now would be folly. I still dream though. I still have desire.

I have always cheated death. To do so confirms life. It validates your presense in the universe. To deny death his claim is to continue to exist. It makes your life worth while. It makes you grateful for simple comforts. It makes every breath you take mean something, something special, to know that you take that breath inspite of it all. As the old cliche goes, "To taste death is to live life." After such a life confirming event, it makes every sunrise and sunset, every star you see, every time you look at the moon, an intoxicating experience. You live with these memories, and, they come back to you. When you look up at the night sky, and think, you get that shudder, that shortness of breath, that slight rush knowing that you lucked out. All things take on meaning.

And so it is with me. I wanted a shot. Man vs Bull. I know, I have had plenty of chances to cheat death, but, this was the one I desired most. And no matter how hard I squeeze, I still can't get no juice from this lemon.
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Caos2
Caos2

January 30th, 2003, 10:04 am #8

First off, porterhouse milkshake. BLECH! That just does not sound good.

I like my turkeys deep fried, Cajun style. You soak a turkey for 2 days or so in a big white bucket filled with brine. You then inject the turkey with your liquid seasonings. Give it a quick dunk in a big bucket of buttermilk, and leave it in there a few minutes. You then drop the turkey in boiling oil, in a massive vat hung over a propane burner. You pull the turkey out and it still cooks a while from all the trapped heat. When it is done table cooking, you poke it with your finger or a fork and most of the turkey collapses, the meat falling right from the bone. Soft, juicy, and delicious. Aint nothing like a chicken fried turkey.

However, docs don't want me doing that no more. The amount of fat, saturated fat, oils, and salt are much to high. No more salted smoked turkeys either. No more of anything delicious. Sure, I can make a nice pineapple grilled chicken breast on the George Forman grill, but, it just aint the same.

BTW, my cholesterol is down to about 270ish if I recall right. It was well over 300, somewhere in the 320 to 330 or so range. Blood pressure is a bit better as well, about 180 over 100 or so. Hell of a lot better then 210 over 160 or higher. According to modern medicine, I should have had a stroke or massive bodily failure at those levels.

The only thing there seems to be a whole lot of concern about is my weight. It's bad. Not over weight, under weight. For my size, bone structure, and hight, I should weigh about 170 to 180 pounds ideally. I am five foot five, 36 inch waist, 48 inch chest, 26 inch neck. I aint tall by any means, but, what I lack in hight I make up for in spades with bulk. Not fat mind you. I have never really been a fat person. The long stretch with no solid foods and having bad hypoglycemia, my body actually ate part of it self. I am down below 140 pounds, and, lots of folks are quite worried about me. I lost a LOT of muscle mass. Doc says I even lost a bit of bone mass and density. He has me on calcium suppliments. Good news out of all of this is, I have a license to eat all the food I want, so long as it is healthy stuff.

The REAL bad news is, in a few weeks, a personal trainer is going to show up at my door with orders from the docs to get me back in shape. Why do I get the dreadful feeling this yoga instructor fellow is going to twist my scrawny ass in knots?
I hate personal trainers! :P
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Drasca
Drasca

January 30th, 2003, 5:42 pm #9

First off, porterhouse milkshake. BLECH! That just does not sound good.

I like my turkeys deep fried, Cajun style. You soak a turkey for 2 days or so in a big white bucket filled with brine. You then inject the turkey with your liquid seasonings. Give it a quick dunk in a big bucket of buttermilk, and leave it in there a few minutes. You then drop the turkey in boiling oil, in a massive vat hung over a propane burner. You pull the turkey out and it still cooks a while from all the trapped heat. When it is done table cooking, you poke it with your finger or a fork and most of the turkey collapses, the meat falling right from the bone. Soft, juicy, and delicious. Aint nothing like a chicken fried turkey.

However, docs don't want me doing that no more. The amount of fat, saturated fat, oils, and salt are much to high. No more salted smoked turkeys either. No more of anything delicious. Sure, I can make a nice pineapple grilled chicken breast on the George Forman grill, but, it just aint the same.

BTW, my cholesterol is down to about 270ish if I recall right. It was well over 300, somewhere in the 320 to 330 or so range. Blood pressure is a bit better as well, about 180 over 100 or so. Hell of a lot better then 210 over 160 or higher. According to modern medicine, I should have had a stroke or massive bodily failure at those levels.

The only thing there seems to be a whole lot of concern about is my weight. It's bad. Not over weight, under weight. For my size, bone structure, and hight, I should weigh about 170 to 180 pounds ideally. I am five foot five, 36 inch waist, 48 inch chest, 26 inch neck. I aint tall by any means, but, what I lack in hight I make up for in spades with bulk. Not fat mind you. I have never really been a fat person. The long stretch with no solid foods and having bad hypoglycemia, my body actually ate part of it self. I am down below 140 pounds, and, lots of folks are quite worried about me. I lost a LOT of muscle mass. Doc says I even lost a bit of bone mass and density. He has me on calcium suppliments. Good news out of all of this is, I have a license to eat all the food I want, so long as it is healthy stuff.

The REAL bad news is, in a few weeks, a personal trainer is going to show up at my door with orders from the docs to get me back in shape. Why do I get the dreadful feeling this yoga instructor fellow is going to twist my scrawny ass in knots?
Stretch now, yes I know you look like an unsalted pretzel. Keep on going until we've spelled out your name in Chinese character pictographs.

Glad to hear you're all right as can be. Time to hit the gym and train to be STR and CON 18.
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