Pip's pressie fund

A place for those who knew her to reminisce, and for those who didn't to find out a little about her

Pip's pressie fund

jo m 1
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October 8th, 2014, 10:55 am #1

Thank you to all who contributed to this but sadly, we never got to use it all as Pip was taken from us much too soon.
There is still £71.92 left in the paypal a/c so suggestions please as to what to do with it? Best I can come up with at the minute is to give it to whoever is responsible for RG to keep us going for a bit (I have no idea how these things work though), flowers for Pip's funeral as I know she said she wanted loads & loads, refund on a pro rata basis to all contributors, donation to a  charity in Pip's name, start a fund raiser for a matching bench to go with Sox's at the beach but any ideas very welcome. 

This week's parcel was to be a proper mail order - some fresh lobster & crab, ordered early Tuesday morning. I'd tried to phone Pip on Monday afternoon to check her preferences but didn't get a reply so I just presumed she was asleep & decided to risk ordering anyway.  We'd decided that if I had to ask her what she would like from the RG'ers, she would tell me then have a glug of her 'jollop' then she would forget what she'd told me so the parcel would still be a surprise! It sounds ridiculous & really quite bizarre but we've had such a giggle these past few weeks. She decided I was certifiable pretty much on a weekly basis but I hope that every phone call ended on a smile.
Thank you everybody
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October 8th, 2014, 11:10 am #2

Happy for it to be used for any of the things you mentioned Jo.Favouring the flowers right now.Maybe we could start a separate fund for a companion bench to Sox's ?
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October 8th, 2014, 11:25 am #3

I will go along with the majority but maybe something for the hospice where she passed away ?
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October 8th, 2014, 11:35 am #4

I will go with whatever  everyone chooses Jo. Thanks for what you have done xx
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Mrs Sue
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October 8th, 2014, 11:38 am #5

I like the idea of a companion bench for Sox's, or something for the hospice but would go along with the majority.
Jo, could you PM me the paypal details & I will send a contribution towards whatever is decided.
 
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Parlis
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October 8th, 2014, 11:48 am #6

Happy to go along with whatever is preferred Jo. Thanks.
And the fact that this fund ended up with Pip enjoying a giggle with you made it the most invaluable aspect of it. Well done you.
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October 8th, 2014, 12:49 pm #7

Well as everyone is saying we will go along, I would say the bench, she used to take people to the cafe for breakfast and the largest slice of  lemon meringue possible, it is also where Mikes ashes were sprinkled,  just over the rocks it would be great to have the companion benches.
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October 8th, 2014, 1:36 pm #8

Happy for any of those suggestions jo, all good causes x
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jo m 1
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October 8th, 2014, 2:07 pm #9

My apologies to those who didn't get my PM when I started this. I've checked my list & you were all definitely on it - there was no way I would have left you out! I know I sent 39 PM's out & got 12 replies, some who contributed & some who were already doing their own thing which was lovely     Please can we blame the gremlins again.
I intended to post a list of donations so everybody could see it was all above board & the incomings & outgoings could be seen by any interested party but apparently  I can't do it without disclosing names & I really don't want to do that as the donations were given in confidence. I'm just very conscious that it's not 'my' money so it has to be super squeaky clean.
If anybody does still want to add to Pip's Fund, the paypal addy is  [url=mailto:jo4pip14@yahoo.co.uk]jo4pip14@yahoo.co.uk[/url]   Please send it as a 'friend or family payment' then I don't have to pay paypal fees on it.
Just out of curiosity, can anybody remember the mechanics of doing Sox's bench please?  Did we have to apply to somewhere to actually get it done? If so, who? Cost?  I think we need all the info before making a decision.
thanks all,
jo
xx
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October 8th, 2014, 3:19 pm #10

I seem to remember that Pip organised the bench - 'we' (it was Freddie Robinson who did the work) organised the Pip 'n' Sox rose. And you dedicated a fuchsia which I lost over winter and so did you.
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October 8th, 2014, 3:31 pm #11

Jo I really don't mind what the money is spent on as long as it's something that Pip would have liked.
Any of your suggestions would be more than appropriate.Maybe we could take a vote to see which one is the most popular and then go ahead with it?
   
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jo m 1
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October 8th, 2014, 4:19 pm #12

Bit more info for you. I phoned the Goring Council to see about a bench & eventually got to speak to a lovely, really helpful guy who deals with this sort of thing. Unfortunately, there is no available space near Sox's bench to dedicate one for Pip. The nearest is "along the green sward towards Ferring" which means nothing to me but I personally thought it would have been nicer to keep Pip'n'Sox together rather than at separate ends of the beach.
After a chat, he said they could put up a new plaque on Sox's bench with both names on. He thought that to do this would cost about £75 + VAT but he's going to email me with the exact cost. I think this is a nicer idea, this way they are together again.
It's not a done deal, I did explain to him that I was only on a fact finding mission so no obligation whatsoever.
I'd like to let this run for a day or so, then put up a poll if that's ok with everybody who has donated?  Democracy rules - I'm just the caretaker!
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October 8th, 2014, 4:25 pm #13

Jo the Pip and Sox bench sounds perfect to me, no point in having another bench miles away.
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Mrs Sue
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October 8th, 2014, 4:55 pm #14

Ditto what Maggie just said.Thank you Jo
 
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October 8th, 2014, 5:20 pm #15

Yep me too. Happy to top up the fund if needed.
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C.A.
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October 8th, 2014, 5:48 pm #16

I didn't contribute to the original fund but am more than happy to contribute towards a joint plaque fund- it sounds most appropriate to me.
I wonder what Salli thinks.
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Taffy
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October 8th, 2014, 6:07 pm #17

Being new here and not having known Pip I can see just how much she meant to all of you here.I would think that she may well have had the same impact on the folks at the hospice.I wonder if you could plant a memorial tree in the hospice grounds, failing that some other memorial plant.That would give pleasure to future people receiving their help.I would think something like a Mountain Ash or flowering Crab apple, both of which are looking good at this time of year.Taffy
Last edited by Taffy on October 8th, 2014, 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Pip at Home
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October 8th, 2014, 9:51 pm #18

A new brass plaque commemorating both Pip and Mike on the existing memorial bench is something Pip has already asked me to arrange, so my suggestion is to use the outstanding funds for this. It would mean a lot to Pip. She wouldn't want her own bench two miles down the coast from Mike - too far to pass the glass :-). Thanks for looking into this for us Jo, and to everyone who has contributed. xx
 
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jo m 1
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October 8th, 2014, 10:33 pm #19

Thanks Sal
The fund now stands at £111.48  which is wonderful   
No email yet from the nice man in charge of dedicated benches so can't give an exact figure but will post as soon as I know, then we can make an informed decision.  Personally, I think it would be rather nice to do the joint plaque, now we know it's something Pip particularly wanted but we'll have a vote as promised before making a decision.
Watch this space  
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October 9th, 2014, 12:24 am #20

The plaque on the bench sounds lovely as does Taffy's suggestion about a tree in the hospital grounds if it is possible.
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October 9th, 2014, 12:35 am #21

I really like the idea of a new plaque too Jo. Also is it possible to get one of the roses named after them to be planted at the hospice? 
   
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October 9th, 2014, 1:42 am #22

The new plaque sounds like the perfect solution to me.
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jo m 1
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October 9th, 2014, 12:23 pm #23

Another update for you - we're now up to  £176.48!  How lovely is that
I think the new plaque with both names on is probably favourite, going on the PM's but we're still going to have a fair amount left over if what the Beach Officer told me was correct. Still no email from him so can't confirm the amount yet.
Thought's just occurred - wondering if it would be feasible to send some of the cash to somebody who is going to the funeral, to go & get some bunches of flowers from a local  Morrison's or wherever, tie them up to look like Pip's "bunches tied up with raffia" & attach a wee card saying they're from us at RG? At least they wouldn't look like "poncey bouquets or wreaths" - that would never do! That would be another of Pip's wishes sorted, but as always, any thoughts welcomed.
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October 9th, 2014, 12:45 pm #24

Perhaps any surplus could be donated to a charity for cancer sufferers ?
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October 9th, 2014, 5:45 pm #25

We are Sox's daughters, Tina and Mandy and we are more than happy for both names to be on the plaque.    However we would ask that the existing one with our Dad's name on, be passed onto us.       
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October 9th, 2014, 8:35 pm #26

Both together watching the sea is perfect will send some money This weekend Jo.If there is any left maybe a donation to RHS Wisley as she loved it there ??
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jo m 1
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October 10th, 2014, 8:10 am #27

Had reply from the Council Officer last night re the bench but it's thrown up more questions than answers.  I'll phone them again this morning to try & clarify a few things then I'll be able to post with the proper information.
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October 10th, 2014, 8:54 am #28

I'm glad Sal got in to say it but a joint plaque would be ideal. fter that I think use the surplus for the flowers or towards the maintenance of RG



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October 10th, 2014, 4:34 pm #29

Hi Jo,  I did reply to this thread two days ago favouring the plaque on the bench even before Salli's post, somehow my post disappeared, but I am happy to see that it was a request of Pip's and so many others think similarly.  I do hope you don't have too much trouble with the council officials, after all it is something being done with the greatest love and respect for two special people.I would also think it nice for their special rose (or several of them) to be planted somewhere prominent, maybe in the hospice grounds?   And as Kitty has just said, for the maintenance of RG.  I am sure Pip would love that  BUT  and it is a big BUT  ...  who is going to be willing to take it on?    Salli  -  did Pip say anything to you regarding her wishes for RG?
As you just said, Jo,   more questions than answers ....
Love,  Judy xx
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jo m 1
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October 11th, 2014, 8:33 am #30

Can't update yet as I couldn't get hold of the Council gentleman, despite phoning several times throughout the day. I've left word for him to phone me back but this will probably be Monday at the earliest now.
Will post as soon as I can get more info.
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October 11th, 2014, 10:19 pm #31

Sal has so much to deal with right now but im sure in time we will be given the details, please be patient its a hard time for Sal xx
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October 12th, 2014, 12:44 am #32

I think Salli needs some breathing space even after Pip's send off and feel that the decisions can be made at a later date when a final decision is made as to what to do with the money left after the plaque is sorted and paid for.  The only thing we are agreed on is the plaque and Jo is sorting that out.  Pip may have had had other wishes and I have no doubt she would want anyone to get stressed over what to decide.  Salli will let us know in due course if Pip had any other wishes and we can work from there. 
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jo m 1
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October 12th, 2014, 7:27 pm #33

Think I've got a gremlin eating my posts today - I KNOW I posted an update here this afternoon but it's disappeared into the ether.
No matter, it's just to let you know that we are now up to £201.48 which is absolutely fantastic.
I'm hoping to catch the Council gent tomorrow for some more information / answers to questions as it's a bit vague at the minute. I'll post in here as soon as I know more.
Thank you everybody

  
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October 14th, 2014, 4:40 pm #34

I'd just like to add that Jo and I are communicating regularly on this. I'm very grateful for Jo's help here. I'm concentrating right now on getting Pip's funeral as she wanted it to be, and she was a fairly particular lady :-) 
There will be time for all the other "stuff" later.
Much love  xx





xx-Sal-xx
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October 15th, 2014, 3:58 am #35

Bless you Salli for everything you have done and are still doing for Pip.
Jo, you too are an angel to do so much for so many who can't do it themselves.
 

  
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jo m 1
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October 17th, 2014, 11:17 am #36

Unfortunately, not a lot to report as yet, folks but this is where we're at,  just so as you know I AM trying!.  I have left countless emails & messages on the relevant Council Official's answerphone on a daily basis (sometimes several times a day!) for him to get back to me asap but nothing as yet.
Apparently, the benches like the one Pip bought for Sox, are subject to a lot of rules & regulations. The council stipulate what design you can have in any particular location, you can only buy it from them and it is then 'donated' back to the council but only for a period of 10 years. There is an option to extend the 'lease' for another 5 years for half the cost of buying a new bench, which I understand, would be approx. £500. As far as I can make out, there isn't an option for more extensions but again, clarification needed.
We can have the plaque on Sox's bench changed but I don't know if Pip's name would be added to the original or whether a whole new plaque has to be commissioned.  This will cost approx. £75. Need Council man to clarify. There's also a waiting time of several weeks.
The stumbling block at the moment is that we think Sox's bench went up in 2003/2004 in which case the first 10 years would already be up.  We don't know if it has expired or if Pip renewed - this is what else I'm waiting for the Council guy to tell me. If Pip's old address was the contact address, she might have moved then  not  had notification that the lease was due to expire - we just don't know.  
No point in ordering a plaque if the lease has expired & the bench has now already been earmarked for somebody else.  If the lease has expired, there is currently nowhere at Pip's end of the beach to put up a replacement donated bench - it would have to be at the other end of the 'green sward' which I believe is a long way away from where Sox's bench is now, so not really acceptable as it would be a bit meaningless.  A new one would also be approx. £1000 which is a lot of money.
I have also asked what happens to the plaques when the lease is complete - whether they can be returned to family members or if they're recycled somehow.

I don't know how you all think about this but the original idea of using some of the cash for a plaque, then some of the remainder for funeral flowers seems a bit awkward at the moment. I'm still very keen re the plaque,  especially as that is in accordance with Pip's wishes but feel we need all the relevant info before agreeing to it.
Likewise, if we suddenly need to find more funds to make it possible, should we really be spending it on flowers?  My own personal thoughts are that we should just hang fire till we hear back from the Council Official then see where we go from there once we're in possession of all the facts & figures. Depending on funds again, if we can get the bench dedicated to Pip & Sox, we can always get some flowers later to be put near the bench when the plaque's added, to be enjoyed by whoever sits there for a few minutes.
As always, all thoughts welcomed please.  I really don't want anybody thinking I'm being precious over this because that's certainly not my intention but I'm very aware that this is not my money, I'm just the caretaker!  As there is no rush for this, it being already in the hands of Council Officials & probably gift wrapped in red tape, should we just concentrate on giving Pip the wonderful send off she wanted, then worry about this afterwards?
Thank you all for your patience
jo
Last edited by jo m 1 on October 17th, 2014, 12:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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October 17th, 2014, 12:12 pm #37

I am not sure that planting something near the bench is a thing that can happen as it is next door to the cafe and right on the sea front with rock to the right of it. If it costs too much for a new bench , then why not an ornamental tree at the hospice as had been suggested already . 
Relax Jo and just wait we shall see what happens.   Thanks are going to you and Salli.
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October 17th, 2014, 12:23 pm #38

I too think it is a 'wait and see' situation. I would love it if we can manage to extend the life of the bench along with a renewed plaque but that will very much depend on how much it will cost. I seem to recall that Salli said that this is what Pip wanted to happen so she may well have left something in her will to cover the expense and, as you said Jo, may well have already renewed the bench 'payment'.
You're doing everything you can to organise this Jo so just relax and allow the wheels of the council turn at their frustratingly slow pace. I seem to remember that it was quite a time after Sox's demise before the bench was in place so Pip wouldn't have expected things to be organised immediately.
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October 17th, 2014, 1:39 pm #39

I will echo what others have said and also add my thanks to Salli and Jo for what they are doing xx
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October 18th, 2014, 12:17 am #40

Jo please don't worry or feel pressure about organising some sort of memorial to Pip. Your efforts are very much appreciated and I'm sure you will get there in the end. There is not a lot you can do if you are not getting much response to your enquiries. You are right to wait and see what transpires with current enquiries and whatever it ends up being, the sentiment is a given.
Thanks again Jo. xx
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October 18th, 2014, 1:47 am #41

I agree with what has been said i.e. to wait and see what transpires with the council and work from there.  Salli and jo are in regular communication over matters and things have been clarified regarding the bench then they will get back to us.  thank you both for all you are doing and especially Salli who has been a true friend to Pip .
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October 20th, 2014, 9:36 pm #42

This is what the plaque currently says:
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jo m 1
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October 21st, 2014, 10:59 am #43

That's a great help, CA, thank you   Looks like we'll be needing a new plaque then, one that we can put both names & maybe have a joint inscription engraved on. (Only allowed 1 plaque per bench apparently!)
Do we know who left the flowers on it?
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October 21st, 2014, 3:23 pm #44

You are doing well Jo, not an easy or happy job. It might be hard to get a single plaque that maintains Pips original sentiments and paces her where she belongs in Mikes and our hearts
There are far more literary people on this site that may have suggestions but here is one idea
In memory of Mike PavittDearly loved husband, father and grandfatherand Eve Pavitt dearly loved wife and friend to manyForever in our thoughts



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October 21st, 2014, 7:24 pm #45

What did Pip request, exactly?
Can I make a plea for care with capital letters and line-breaks:
In memory of Mike PavittDearly loved husband, father and grandfatherand Eve PavittDearly loved wife and friend to manyForever in our thoughtsThere should be room on the plaque for 5 lines as above. The typographer in me wants to add "especially if they don't put word spaces you could drive a bus through".
I've been trying to think how to word "Pip" into it in a remotely elegant fashion and have failed.
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October 21st, 2014, 7:29 pm #46

Just an idea if all else fails how about a bench or a tree in the Hospice grounds ? They do a "sunflower" for summer which looks nice
http://www.stbarnabas-hospice.org.uk/Re ... 0cover.pdf
Last edited by Flowerofshona on October 21st, 2014, 7:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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jo m 1
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October 22nd, 2014, 8:38 am #47

Still nothing - I'm wondering if he's on holiday?
Just to make it more interesting - the Council also have a 'strict'  limit of 15 words maximum per plaque.  It's actually rather impressive to see just how many rules & regulations  one Council can come up with regarding a bench!
If anybody would like a copy, please PM me with an email address of where to send it & I'll get one off to you.

Just happy to be able to help out, kitty, though I have to admit it was more fun filling & sending the 'smiley' boxes for Pip to enjoy. It would have been so much  nicer to have been able to send more, obviously, but sadly, it wasn't to be so we'll have to content ourselves with doing this instead.
Once things settle down a bit, I'll have a catch-up with Salli & see what Pip had stipulated then take it from there.
Thanks for the kind words folks, much appreciated but really not necessary - I'm sure anybody who found themselves in the same position would also be more than happy to do the same
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SpideyTheGhost
Mature Shrub
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Joined: January 27th, 2005, 4:26 pm

October 22nd, 2014, 10:35 am #48

In that case, Jo:
In memory of Mike Pavittand Eve PavittForever in our thoughts
12 words.
In memory of
Mike and Eve PavittForever in our thoughts
11 words and not such a nice shape.
Dedicated to the memory of
Mike and Eve PavittForever in our thoughts



13 words. Any other suggestions, anyone?
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Saph25
Seedling
Seedling
Saph25
Seedling
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Joined: June 8th, 2014, 7:25 pm

October 22nd, 2014, 11:45 am #49

In memory of
Eve and Mike Pavitt
(Pip and Sox)
Forever in our thoughts 

In memory of
(Pip and Sox)
Eve and Mike Pavitt
Forever in our thoughts
Last edited by Saph25 on October 22nd, 2014, 3:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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SpideyTheGhost
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Joined: January 27th, 2005, 4:26 pm

October 22nd, 2014, 1:29 pm #50

Yes. The first one of those two. 
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