The Cat is out of the bag! (Odd Neg Reaction )

The Cat is out of the bag! (Odd Neg Reaction )

ALM
ALM

September 4th, 2011, 7:49 pm #1

Good Afternoon Ladies,

I haven't been on the board in several days. I went public with my pregnancy starting Friday morning and continued on Saturday with other relatives. The response at work was very supportive for the most part. Nobody WASN'T supportive, but there were some who simply said nothing. So.....that kind of says it all for them. Whatever on those few sour grapes!

My family was super excited, with the exception of SIL. It was odd. She's got several kids, but kept going on about how old I am (turned 44 on Friday), how hard it's going to be, how she was so glad her grandkids (yes, she's 3 years older than me and has grandkids!) hadn't ever had to go to daycare like mine's going to have to. It was pretty stunning. She looked like she'd just sucked on a lemon from the minute I announced it. I know this may feel very threatening to her b/c she's afraid my child may suck all of the attention away. And this may actually be true, but she needs to at least try to hide this a little bit.

I still have some more folks to tell, but the major key people and groups of people now know.

Anyhow, the cat is officially out of the bag! Woo hoo! It was pretty fun telling and several of my family members cried (in a good way!). I'm still super nervous about this whole thing - how am I going to do it? I guess I'll just figure it out as it comes.

Hope everyone is having a great long weekend!
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Joined: June 9th, 2009, 5:21 pm

September 4th, 2011, 8:12 pm #2

You wouldnt believe the responses I got when telling about the triplets. And I was terrified so the negative responses were NOT helpful. I think there will always be the negative nellies so try to let it roll off. And you could very well be right about diverting attention. We have had the same situation.
Me- 30
Day 3- FSH 10.4, E2 42; Day 10- 16.6; Possible endo, slight anti sperm antibodies
DH- 30, low Morph
TTC 23 Cycles
2 Cycles on Clomid- BFN
3 Cycles on Femara & IUI- BFN
Now- Natural plus antioxidants, Acu/Herbs till IVF when we're ready emotionally
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anonymous
anonymous

September 4th, 2011, 11:19 pm #3

Good Afternoon Ladies,

I haven't been on the board in several days. I went public with my pregnancy starting Friday morning and continued on Saturday with other relatives. The response at work was very supportive for the most part. Nobody WASN'T supportive, but there were some who simply said nothing. So.....that kind of says it all for them. Whatever on those few sour grapes!

My family was super excited, with the exception of SIL. It was odd. She's got several kids, but kept going on about how old I am (turned 44 on Friday), how hard it's going to be, how she was so glad her grandkids (yes, she's 3 years older than me and has grandkids!) hadn't ever had to go to daycare like mine's going to have to. It was pretty stunning. She looked like she'd just sucked on a lemon from the minute I announced it. I know this may feel very threatening to her b/c she's afraid my child may suck all of the attention away. And this may actually be true, but she needs to at least try to hide this a little bit.

I still have some more folks to tell, but the major key people and groups of people now know.

Anyhow, the cat is officially out of the bag! Woo hoo! It was pretty fun telling and several of my family members cried (in a good way!). I'm still super nervous about this whole thing - how am I going to do it? I guess I'll just figure it out as it comes.

Hope everyone is having a great long weekend!
Jealous that this part of her life is probably over and yours is just starting. She's thought of as "Grand Ma" while you are a new mom! Are you very close with her? Did she ever want another? It is always odd the family emotions pregnancy can bring up. But, she'll come around!

Breath in those moments of family joy with those who are excited, remembering those can help you get through tough times!

Congratulation on coming out!
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bigboy
bigboy

September 5th, 2011, 12:04 am #4

i feel like there is always going to be negative responses. and then those that you think will be supportive arent - ive already experienced this. dont let anyone take away from your joy : ) i dont know why people just cant say congratulations and be done with it.

im only 7 weeks but a few of my good friends know....ive been so sick it's kind of hard to hide it from them....
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ALM
ALM

September 5th, 2011, 1:14 am #5

You wouldnt believe the responses I got when telling about the triplets. And I was terrified so the negative responses were NOT helpful. I think there will always be the negative nellies so try to let it roll off. And you could very well be right about diverting attention. We have had the same situation.
that you WERE already terrified enough with triplets and really didn't need any additional fuel to the fire. But look now, your kids are doing great and you and your DH are making it work. You ROCK! I would imagine triplets would pull focus no matter what family/situation. So cool! Best to you and thanks for the response and support.
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ALM
ALM

September 5th, 2011, 1:17 am #6

Jealous that this part of her life is probably over and yours is just starting. She's thought of as "Grand Ma" while you are a new mom! Are you very close with her? Did she ever want another? It is always odd the family emotions pregnancy can bring up. But, she'll come around!

Breath in those moments of family joy with those who are excited, remembering those can help you get through tough times!

Congratulation on coming out!
as well. It makes me feel sad. I will also add that she and my brother don't have any children together - she had 3 kids when he married her. She specifically said something last night about thinking about having a kid with him b/c he doesn't have any but that she was too old. I do feel it's also worrisome for her that my kid will pull attention. That makes me very sad. I don't want her kids to feel bad. I'm not sure what to do about it, but I'm sure some sort of opportunity will arise. Thanks for the support!
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ALM
ALM

September 5th, 2011, 1:18 am #7

i feel like there is always going to be negative responses. and then those that you think will be supportive arent - ive already experienced this. dont let anyone take away from your joy : ) i dont know why people just cant say congratulations and be done with it.

im only 7 weeks but a few of my good friends know....ive been so sick it's kind of hard to hide it from them....
there are always going to be some who are going to have some odd bunch of nonsense to say no matter what. I hope your morning sickness clears up VERY soon. Congrats on 7 weeks!
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Over 40 Anna
Over 40 Anna

September 5th, 2011, 6:23 am #8

Good Afternoon Ladies,

I haven't been on the board in several days. I went public with my pregnancy starting Friday morning and continued on Saturday with other relatives. The response at work was very supportive for the most part. Nobody WASN'T supportive, but there were some who simply said nothing. So.....that kind of says it all for them. Whatever on those few sour grapes!

My family was super excited, with the exception of SIL. It was odd. She's got several kids, but kept going on about how old I am (turned 44 on Friday), how hard it's going to be, how she was so glad her grandkids (yes, she's 3 years older than me and has grandkids!) hadn't ever had to go to daycare like mine's going to have to. It was pretty stunning. She looked like she'd just sucked on a lemon from the minute I announced it. I know this may feel very threatening to her b/c she's afraid my child may suck all of the attention away. And this may actually be true, but she needs to at least try to hide this a little bit.

I still have some more folks to tell, but the major key people and groups of people now know.

Anyhow, the cat is officially out of the bag! Woo hoo! It was pretty fun telling and several of my family members cried (in a good way!). I'm still super nervous about this whole thing - how am I going to do it? I guess I'll just figure it out as it comes.

Hope everyone is having a great long weekend!
Sorry for your SIL's response. The remark about being glad that her kids and grandkids never had to go to daycare is pure mommy wars cattyness. DD's been in daycare since she was 3 months old and she's thriving. I know she's supposed to be terribly deprived since mommy is so selfish as to work full time (to pay the mortgage, contribute to the college fund, etc) but she's a well adapted child who is ahead of all of her peers (yes mommy likes to brag). Some daycares are better than others but daycare itself isn't bad.

And for the comment about being old, I have to say I can understand that response, even though I know it's catty. I have almost 2 year old daughter and am 41. I think if I knew you in real life and heard your story I'd think about how you'll be tired all of the time. Motherhood is EXHAUSTING. But the joys of motherhood override the exhaustion.

But now that you're pregnant, as far as society is concerned, you don't really matter anymore. Strangers are free to give you advice about 1) how to give birth, 2) how to feed your child, 3) how to dress your child, 4) how to discipline your child, etc. etc. etc. Just wait until you're showing and you'll see what I mean. It's really weird how strangers on the street feel perfectly free to judge you for your parenting choices.

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Yvonne
Yvonne

September 5th, 2011, 1:14 pm #9

Good Afternoon Ladies,

I haven't been on the board in several days. I went public with my pregnancy starting Friday morning and continued on Saturday with other relatives. The response at work was very supportive for the most part. Nobody WASN'T supportive, but there were some who simply said nothing. So.....that kind of says it all for them. Whatever on those few sour grapes!

My family was super excited, with the exception of SIL. It was odd. She's got several kids, but kept going on about how old I am (turned 44 on Friday), how hard it's going to be, how she was so glad her grandkids (yes, she's 3 years older than me and has grandkids!) hadn't ever had to go to daycare like mine's going to have to. It was pretty stunning. She looked like she'd just sucked on a lemon from the minute I announced it. I know this may feel very threatening to her b/c she's afraid my child may suck all of the attention away. And this may actually be true, but she needs to at least try to hide this a little bit.

I still have some more folks to tell, but the major key people and groups of people now know.

Anyhow, the cat is officially out of the bag! Woo hoo! It was pretty fun telling and several of my family members cried (in a good way!). I'm still super nervous about this whole thing - how am I going to do it? I guess I'll just figure it out as it comes.

Hope everyone is having a great long weekend!
Firstly - wanted to say congratulations on your pg.. I've been away from the boards for a while- and hadn't seen your news. Hope you have a happy and healthy nine months. This is wonderful news.

Next.... for as hard as this is - do your best to block out your SIL's negativity... it is most likely coming from a bit of envy, as many of the previous posters have mentioned...Her negativity isn't deserved, nor is it helpful or healthy for you....and sadly, (from my own experience with an uber-negative SIL) it won't stop here. People like her will find a way to put a cloud on happy moments... Just be strong, ignore it, take the high road... or if it isn't possible....just tell her to keep her comments to herself - and that you are thrilled beyond belief at your impending arrival (or later, at whatever choice you have made with raising your child - whether its daycare, being a sahm, anything at all that she may pick on).

Don't let her spoil your happy moment... it was a long time in coming.... and she has experienced the excitement of becoming a mom - and holding her newborn child 3x already.

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sch1star
sch1star

September 6th, 2011, 3:30 am #10

Good Afternoon Ladies,

I haven't been on the board in several days. I went public with my pregnancy starting Friday morning and continued on Saturday with other relatives. The response at work was very supportive for the most part. Nobody WASN'T supportive, but there were some who simply said nothing. So.....that kind of says it all for them. Whatever on those few sour grapes!

My family was super excited, with the exception of SIL. It was odd. She's got several kids, but kept going on about how old I am (turned 44 on Friday), how hard it's going to be, how she was so glad her grandkids (yes, she's 3 years older than me and has grandkids!) hadn't ever had to go to daycare like mine's going to have to. It was pretty stunning. She looked like she'd just sucked on a lemon from the minute I announced it. I know this may feel very threatening to her b/c she's afraid my child may suck all of the attention away. And this may actually be true, but she needs to at least try to hide this a little bit.

I still have some more folks to tell, but the major key people and groups of people now know.

Anyhow, the cat is officially out of the bag! Woo hoo! It was pretty fun telling and several of my family members cried (in a good way!). I'm still super nervous about this whole thing - how am I going to do it? I guess I'll just figure it out as it comes.

Hope everyone is having a great long weekend!
I think we should all band together and develop a list of snide comebacks for the snarky, nosy naysayers. I'm sorry you had to deal with her remarks. I think most of us have been there and feel your pain!

So very glad your news was met with joy by everyone else!
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