so sorry to post this...but it's all over (warning...graphic)

so sorry to post this...but it's all over (warning...graphic)

Joined: January 23rd, 2009, 5:02 pm

December 12th, 2010, 11:04 pm #1

We lost the baby. I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in red blood...filled the toilet with bloody clots, check h/r with my doppler...150 bpm. Rushed to the ER...passed lots more clots and blood...lots. ER Dr said my cervix was open, but they did an ulrasound and sure enough Baby B was still ok. Measuring 14w3d (3 days ahead)...h/r was 149. They decided to send me up to labor and delivery b/c my RE was the OB on call (amazingly enough...he never does OB rotations). Right before they moved me, I felt a popping sensation in my lower area...and suddenly started gushing lots more blood. By the time they got me upstairs, I asked to use the restroom and in there, I wiped and felt the baby hanging there. The nurse grabbed the baby and put him into a container...he looked perfect...just perfect. You could even see his genitals formed. My RE examined me and just couldn't understand why this happened and said I need to have an emergency D&C b/c I'm on lovenox blood thinners and we needed to stop the bleeding. So they rushed me off to surgery and I woke up feeling more empty then ever before. Later on, the nurse asked if we wanted to see the baby all cleaned up and we said yes. He came wrapped in a knitted hooded blanket. Sad, but yet, beautiful b/c I could see everything formed...all fingers and toes, nose, mouth, everything. The nurse said Baby A came out with Baby B too and it was amazing how different they looked...but we didn't want to see Baby A...that would have been too scary I think.

We said our goodbyes to this baby especially b/c 14 weeks is the farthest we've ever gotten, and I'm about 90% sure we won't be trying to carry a pregnancy ever again. I just don't think I can handle it mentally...not to mention physically. I saw my RE and my old OB today b/c she was on call as well and wanted to see me. They'll do genetic testing on the baby, but not much more then can do now. Neither of them know why this keeps happening. The words surrogate and adoption were thrown around...and I think that's where I'm at too....just not sure which way to go at this point. We'll take some time before we think too much of that.

We got hand and foot prints of our little Baby B...he was the closest we ever got and there'll always be a special place in my heart for him and my other 3 angel babies. 4 lost babies in 14 months, I think I've had enough. I think there was a reason I was a nervous wreck...I think deep down, I always knew this wasn't going to last. ...call it Mother's Intuition. Wish I could say I'll see you here again soon...but I don't think that's in the cards for us.


TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy
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Joined: September 29th, 2010, 9:51 pm

December 12th, 2010, 11:17 pm #2

Dear Amy,

I truly have no words to say right now, I am speechless beyond belief. It is the unthinkable. My deepest sympathies to you and your DH. I have nothing to offer except the kindness of a stranger and the message of peace and hope. Will keep you in my thoughts these next few weeks.
hugs,
Rebekah
Last edited by Bestbehavior on December 12th, 2010, 11:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: November 4th, 2006, 7:32 pm

December 12th, 2010, 11:25 pm #3

We lost the baby. I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in red blood...filled the toilet with bloody clots, check h/r with my doppler...150 bpm. Rushed to the ER...passed lots more clots and blood...lots. ER Dr said my cervix was open, but they did an ulrasound and sure enough Baby B was still ok. Measuring 14w3d (3 days ahead)...h/r was 149. They decided to send me up to labor and delivery b/c my RE was the OB on call (amazingly enough...he never does OB rotations). Right before they moved me, I felt a popping sensation in my lower area...and suddenly started gushing lots more blood. By the time they got me upstairs, I asked to use the restroom and in there, I wiped and felt the baby hanging there. The nurse grabbed the baby and put him into a container...he looked perfect...just perfect. You could even see his genitals formed. My RE examined me and just couldn't understand why this happened and said I need to have an emergency D&C b/c I'm on lovenox blood thinners and we needed to stop the bleeding. So they rushed me off to surgery and I woke up feeling more empty then ever before. Later on, the nurse asked if we wanted to see the baby all cleaned up and we said yes. He came wrapped in a knitted hooded blanket. Sad, but yet, beautiful b/c I could see everything formed...all fingers and toes, nose, mouth, everything. The nurse said Baby A came out with Baby B too and it was amazing how different they looked...but we didn't want to see Baby A...that would have been too scary I think.

We said our goodbyes to this baby especially b/c 14 weeks is the farthest we've ever gotten, and I'm about 90% sure we won't be trying to carry a pregnancy ever again. I just don't think I can handle it mentally...not to mention physically. I saw my RE and my old OB today b/c she was on call as well and wanted to see me. They'll do genetic testing on the baby, but not much more then can do now. Neither of them know why this keeps happening. The words surrogate and adoption were thrown around...and I think that's where I'm at too....just not sure which way to go at this point. We'll take some time before we think too much of that.

We got hand and foot prints of our little Baby B...he was the closest we ever got and there'll always be a special place in my heart for him and my other 3 angel babies. 4 lost babies in 14 months, I think I've had enough. I think there was a reason I was a nervous wreck...I think deep down, I always knew this wasn't going to last. ...call it Mother's Intuition. Wish I could say I'll see you here again soon...but I don't think that's in the cards for us.


TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
it is way too much for anyone to go through. lots of hugs and please take heart. things will surely be better in the future. Just so sorry. Your story brings tears to my eyes.
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Shipin
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December 12th, 2010, 11:39 pm #4

We lost the baby. I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in red blood...filled the toilet with bloody clots, check h/r with my doppler...150 bpm. Rushed to the ER...passed lots more clots and blood...lots. ER Dr said my cervix was open, but they did an ulrasound and sure enough Baby B was still ok. Measuring 14w3d (3 days ahead)...h/r was 149. They decided to send me up to labor and delivery b/c my RE was the OB on call (amazingly enough...he never does OB rotations). Right before they moved me, I felt a popping sensation in my lower area...and suddenly started gushing lots more blood. By the time they got me upstairs, I asked to use the restroom and in there, I wiped and felt the baby hanging there. The nurse grabbed the baby and put him into a container...he looked perfect...just perfect. You could even see his genitals formed. My RE examined me and just couldn't understand why this happened and said I need to have an emergency D&C b/c I'm on lovenox blood thinners and we needed to stop the bleeding. So they rushed me off to surgery and I woke up feeling more empty then ever before. Later on, the nurse asked if we wanted to see the baby all cleaned up and we said yes. He came wrapped in a knitted hooded blanket. Sad, but yet, beautiful b/c I could see everything formed...all fingers and toes, nose, mouth, everything. The nurse said Baby A came out with Baby B too and it was amazing how different they looked...but we didn't want to see Baby A...that would have been too scary I think.

We said our goodbyes to this baby especially b/c 14 weeks is the farthest we've ever gotten, and I'm about 90% sure we won't be trying to carry a pregnancy ever again. I just don't think I can handle it mentally...not to mention physically. I saw my RE and my old OB today b/c she was on call as well and wanted to see me. They'll do genetic testing on the baby, but not much more then can do now. Neither of them know why this keeps happening. The words surrogate and adoption were thrown around...and I think that's where I'm at too....just not sure which way to go at this point. We'll take some time before we think too much of that.

We got hand and foot prints of our little Baby B...he was the closest we ever got and there'll always be a special place in my heart for him and my other 3 angel babies. 4 lost babies in 14 months, I think I've had enough. I think there was a reason I was a nervous wreck...I think deep down, I always knew this wasn't going to last. ...call it Mother's Intuition. Wish I could say I'll see you here again soon...but I don't think that's in the cards for us.


TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
As I read all that you are going through it fills my heart with sorrow and eyes with tears. I cannot imagine what u must've been through seeing that baby coming out. I am not surprised at your inclination for not trying again. It is too much for one to take.
May god give you peace in whatever u decide for your future and give you the courage to sail through this toughest period of life.
Take care...
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Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

December 12th, 2010, 11:40 pm #5

We lost the baby. I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in red blood...filled the toilet with bloody clots, check h/r with my doppler...150 bpm. Rushed to the ER...passed lots more clots and blood...lots. ER Dr said my cervix was open, but they did an ulrasound and sure enough Baby B was still ok. Measuring 14w3d (3 days ahead)...h/r was 149. They decided to send me up to labor and delivery b/c my RE was the OB on call (amazingly enough...he never does OB rotations). Right before they moved me, I felt a popping sensation in my lower area...and suddenly started gushing lots more blood. By the time they got me upstairs, I asked to use the restroom and in there, I wiped and felt the baby hanging there. The nurse grabbed the baby and put him into a container...he looked perfect...just perfect. You could even see his genitals formed. My RE examined me and just couldn't understand why this happened and said I need to have an emergency D&C b/c I'm on lovenox blood thinners and we needed to stop the bleeding. So they rushed me off to surgery and I woke up feeling more empty then ever before. Later on, the nurse asked if we wanted to see the baby all cleaned up and we said yes. He came wrapped in a knitted hooded blanket. Sad, but yet, beautiful b/c I could see everything formed...all fingers and toes, nose, mouth, everything. The nurse said Baby A came out with Baby B too and it was amazing how different they looked...but we didn't want to see Baby A...that would have been too scary I think.

We said our goodbyes to this baby especially b/c 14 weeks is the farthest we've ever gotten, and I'm about 90% sure we won't be trying to carry a pregnancy ever again. I just don't think I can handle it mentally...not to mention physically. I saw my RE and my old OB today b/c she was on call as well and wanted to see me. They'll do genetic testing on the baby, but not much more then can do now. Neither of them know why this keeps happening. The words surrogate and adoption were thrown around...and I think that's where I'm at too....just not sure which way to go at this point. We'll take some time before we think too much of that.

We got hand and foot prints of our little Baby B...he was the closest we ever got and there'll always be a special place in my heart for him and my other 3 angel babies. 4 lost babies in 14 months, I think I've had enough. I think there was a reason I was a nervous wreck...I think deep down, I always knew this wasn't going to last. ...call it Mother's Intuition. Wish I could say I'll see you here again soon...but I don't think that's in the cards for us.


TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
I can almost picture how beautiful baby B was from your description. I'm glad you got some time with him to say goodbye. I know there are no words I can say to comfort you. You and DH will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. (((((((hugs))))))))


xoxo, Tracy

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summerwind03
summerwind03

December 12th, 2010, 11:57 pm #6

We lost the baby. I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in red blood...filled the toilet with bloody clots, check h/r with my doppler...150 bpm. Rushed to the ER...passed lots more clots and blood...lots. ER Dr said my cervix was open, but they did an ulrasound and sure enough Baby B was still ok. Measuring 14w3d (3 days ahead)...h/r was 149. They decided to send me up to labor and delivery b/c my RE was the OB on call (amazingly enough...he never does OB rotations). Right before they moved me, I felt a popping sensation in my lower area...and suddenly started gushing lots more blood. By the time they got me upstairs, I asked to use the restroom and in there, I wiped and felt the baby hanging there. The nurse grabbed the baby and put him into a container...he looked perfect...just perfect. You could even see his genitals formed. My RE examined me and just couldn't understand why this happened and said I need to have an emergency D&C b/c I'm on lovenox blood thinners and we needed to stop the bleeding. So they rushed me off to surgery and I woke up feeling more empty then ever before. Later on, the nurse asked if we wanted to see the baby all cleaned up and we said yes. He came wrapped in a knitted hooded blanket. Sad, but yet, beautiful b/c I could see everything formed...all fingers and toes, nose, mouth, everything. The nurse said Baby A came out with Baby B too and it was amazing how different they looked...but we didn't want to see Baby A...that would have been too scary I think.

We said our goodbyes to this baby especially b/c 14 weeks is the farthest we've ever gotten, and I'm about 90% sure we won't be trying to carry a pregnancy ever again. I just don't think I can handle it mentally...not to mention physically. I saw my RE and my old OB today b/c she was on call as well and wanted to see me. They'll do genetic testing on the baby, but not much more then can do now. Neither of them know why this keeps happening. The words surrogate and adoption were thrown around...and I think that's where I'm at too....just not sure which way to go at this point. We'll take some time before we think too much of that.

We got hand and foot prints of our little Baby B...he was the closest we ever got and there'll always be a special place in my heart for him and my other 3 angel babies. 4 lost babies in 14 months, I think I've had enough. I think there was a reason I was a nervous wreck...I think deep down, I always knew this wasn't going to last. ...call it Mother's Intuition. Wish I could say I'll see you here again soon...but I don't think that's in the cards for us.


TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
You have been through so much. I hope you find some peace. Please be gentle with yourself -- this is not your fault.
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Joined: May 2nd, 2010, 2:34 pm

December 13th, 2010, 12:02 am #7

We lost the baby. I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in red blood...filled the toilet with bloody clots, check h/r with my doppler...150 bpm. Rushed to the ER...passed lots more clots and blood...lots. ER Dr said my cervix was open, but they did an ulrasound and sure enough Baby B was still ok. Measuring 14w3d (3 days ahead)...h/r was 149. They decided to send me up to labor and delivery b/c my RE was the OB on call (amazingly enough...he never does OB rotations). Right before they moved me, I felt a popping sensation in my lower area...and suddenly started gushing lots more blood. By the time they got me upstairs, I asked to use the restroom and in there, I wiped and felt the baby hanging there. The nurse grabbed the baby and put him into a container...he looked perfect...just perfect. You could even see his genitals formed. My RE examined me and just couldn't understand why this happened and said I need to have an emergency D&C b/c I'm on lovenox blood thinners and we needed to stop the bleeding. So they rushed me off to surgery and I woke up feeling more empty then ever before. Later on, the nurse asked if we wanted to see the baby all cleaned up and we said yes. He came wrapped in a knitted hooded blanket. Sad, but yet, beautiful b/c I could see everything formed...all fingers and toes, nose, mouth, everything. The nurse said Baby A came out with Baby B too and it was amazing how different they looked...but we didn't want to see Baby A...that would have been too scary I think.

We said our goodbyes to this baby especially b/c 14 weeks is the farthest we've ever gotten, and I'm about 90% sure we won't be trying to carry a pregnancy ever again. I just don't think I can handle it mentally...not to mention physically. I saw my RE and my old OB today b/c she was on call as well and wanted to see me. They'll do genetic testing on the baby, but not much more then can do now. Neither of them know why this keeps happening. The words surrogate and adoption were thrown around...and I think that's where I'm at too....just not sure which way to go at this point. We'll take some time before we think too much of that.

We got hand and foot prints of our little Baby B...he was the closest we ever got and there'll always be a special place in my heart for him and my other 3 angel babies. 4 lost babies in 14 months, I think I've had enough. I think there was a reason I was a nervous wreck...I think deep down, I always knew this wasn't going to last. ...call it Mother's Intuition. Wish I could say I'll see you here again soon...but I don't think that's in the cards for us.


TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have no words. I know there is nothing anyone can say that would take away your pain right now. The pain you have endured is so much more than anyone deserves. And I am sorry for that too.

You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. I know it will be a difficult path, but I am wishing you strength and eventual peace.

hugs,
KerriA
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loulou
loulou

December 13th, 2010, 1:04 am #8

We lost the baby. I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in red blood...filled the toilet with bloody clots, check h/r with my doppler...150 bpm. Rushed to the ER...passed lots more clots and blood...lots. ER Dr said my cervix was open, but they did an ulrasound and sure enough Baby B was still ok. Measuring 14w3d (3 days ahead)...h/r was 149. They decided to send me up to labor and delivery b/c my RE was the OB on call (amazingly enough...he never does OB rotations). Right before they moved me, I felt a popping sensation in my lower area...and suddenly started gushing lots more blood. By the time they got me upstairs, I asked to use the restroom and in there, I wiped and felt the baby hanging there. The nurse grabbed the baby and put him into a container...he looked perfect...just perfect. You could even see his genitals formed. My RE examined me and just couldn't understand why this happened and said I need to have an emergency D&C b/c I'm on lovenox blood thinners and we needed to stop the bleeding. So they rushed me off to surgery and I woke up feeling more empty then ever before. Later on, the nurse asked if we wanted to see the baby all cleaned up and we said yes. He came wrapped in a knitted hooded blanket. Sad, but yet, beautiful b/c I could see everything formed...all fingers and toes, nose, mouth, everything. The nurse said Baby A came out with Baby B too and it was amazing how different they looked...but we didn't want to see Baby A...that would have been too scary I think.

We said our goodbyes to this baby especially b/c 14 weeks is the farthest we've ever gotten, and I'm about 90% sure we won't be trying to carry a pregnancy ever again. I just don't think I can handle it mentally...not to mention physically. I saw my RE and my old OB today b/c she was on call as well and wanted to see me. They'll do genetic testing on the baby, but not much more then can do now. Neither of them know why this keeps happening. The words surrogate and adoption were thrown around...and I think that's where I'm at too....just not sure which way to go at this point. We'll take some time before we think too much of that.

We got hand and foot prints of our little Baby B...he was the closest we ever got and there'll always be a special place in my heart for him and my other 3 angel babies. 4 lost babies in 14 months, I think I've had enough. I think there was a reason I was a nervous wreck...I think deep down, I always knew this wasn't going to last. ...call it Mother's Intuition. Wish I could say I'll see you here again soon...but I don't think that's in the cards for us.


TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
Don't know what to say.
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Jenna
Jenna

December 13th, 2010, 1:05 am #9

We lost the baby. I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in red blood...filled the toilet with bloody clots, check h/r with my doppler...150 bpm. Rushed to the ER...passed lots more clots and blood...lots. ER Dr said my cervix was open, but they did an ulrasound and sure enough Baby B was still ok. Measuring 14w3d (3 days ahead)...h/r was 149. They decided to send me up to labor and delivery b/c my RE was the OB on call (amazingly enough...he never does OB rotations). Right before they moved me, I felt a popping sensation in my lower area...and suddenly started gushing lots more blood. By the time they got me upstairs, I asked to use the restroom and in there, I wiped and felt the baby hanging there. The nurse grabbed the baby and put him into a container...he looked perfect...just perfect. You could even see his genitals formed. My RE examined me and just couldn't understand why this happened and said I need to have an emergency D&C b/c I'm on lovenox blood thinners and we needed to stop the bleeding. So they rushed me off to surgery and I woke up feeling more empty then ever before. Later on, the nurse asked if we wanted to see the baby all cleaned up and we said yes. He came wrapped in a knitted hooded blanket. Sad, but yet, beautiful b/c I could see everything formed...all fingers and toes, nose, mouth, everything. The nurse said Baby A came out with Baby B too and it was amazing how different they looked...but we didn't want to see Baby A...that would have been too scary I think.

We said our goodbyes to this baby especially b/c 14 weeks is the farthest we've ever gotten, and I'm about 90% sure we won't be trying to carry a pregnancy ever again. I just don't think I can handle it mentally...not to mention physically. I saw my RE and my old OB today b/c she was on call as well and wanted to see me. They'll do genetic testing on the baby, but not much more then can do now. Neither of them know why this keeps happening. The words surrogate and adoption were thrown around...and I think that's where I'm at too....just not sure which way to go at this point. We'll take some time before we think too much of that.

We got hand and foot prints of our little Baby B...he was the closest we ever got and there'll always be a special place in my heart for him and my other 3 angel babies. 4 lost babies in 14 months, I think I've had enough. I think there was a reason I was a nervous wreck...I think deep down, I always knew this wasn't going to last. ...call it Mother's Intuition. Wish I could say I'll see you here again soon...but I don't think that's in the cards for us.


TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
My heart is aching for you and your DH at this time. You have been through a lifetime of suffering in the last 14 months and I can only imagine your pain and losses.

I know that there will be a shining light of hope and fulfillment for you in your future. I can only hope that you can recover physically in the next few weeks and then take all of the time that you need to heal emotionally.


All of us on these boards are here for you.

I am so sorry, Amy.

Please take care,

Jenna

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Joined: September 22nd, 2009, 7:19 pm

December 13th, 2010, 1:17 am #10

We lost the baby. I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in red blood...filled the toilet with bloody clots, check h/r with my doppler...150 bpm. Rushed to the ER...passed lots more clots and blood...lots. ER Dr said my cervix was open, but they did an ulrasound and sure enough Baby B was still ok. Measuring 14w3d (3 days ahead)...h/r was 149. They decided to send me up to labor and delivery b/c my RE was the OB on call (amazingly enough...he never does OB rotations). Right before they moved me, I felt a popping sensation in my lower area...and suddenly started gushing lots more blood. By the time they got me upstairs, I asked to use the restroom and in there, I wiped and felt the baby hanging there. The nurse grabbed the baby and put him into a container...he looked perfect...just perfect. You could even see his genitals formed. My RE examined me and just couldn't understand why this happened and said I need to have an emergency D&C b/c I'm on lovenox blood thinners and we needed to stop the bleeding. So they rushed me off to surgery and I woke up feeling more empty then ever before. Later on, the nurse asked if we wanted to see the baby all cleaned up and we said yes. He came wrapped in a knitted hooded blanket. Sad, but yet, beautiful b/c I could see everything formed...all fingers and toes, nose, mouth, everything. The nurse said Baby A came out with Baby B too and it was amazing how different they looked...but we didn't want to see Baby A...that would have been too scary I think.

We said our goodbyes to this baby especially b/c 14 weeks is the farthest we've ever gotten, and I'm about 90% sure we won't be trying to carry a pregnancy ever again. I just don't think I can handle it mentally...not to mention physically. I saw my RE and my old OB today b/c she was on call as well and wanted to see me. They'll do genetic testing on the baby, but not much more then can do now. Neither of them know why this keeps happening. The words surrogate and adoption were thrown around...and I think that's where I'm at too....just not sure which way to go at this point. We'll take some time before we think too much of that.

We got hand and foot prints of our little Baby B...he was the closest we ever got and there'll always be a special place in my heart for him and my other 3 angel babies. 4 lost babies in 14 months, I think I've had enough. I think there was a reason I was a nervous wreck...I think deep down, I always knew this wasn't going to last. ...call it Mother's Intuition. Wish I could say I'll see you here again soon...but I don't think that's in the cards for us.


TTC: Since Nov. 2006
Diagnosis: Ovarian Dysfunction & PCOS
26 Years Old
cd3 FSH 16.8
cd10 FSH 13.6
7 Unmonitored Cycles of Clomid
3 Unmonitored Cycles of Letrozole
Positive CCCT
TAB for cysts
1st Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed BDing - 5 mature follies - BFN
TAB for cysts
2nd Cycle of 150iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 4 mature follies in play - BFN
3rd Cycle of 150 iu of Menopur with Timed Intercourse - 2 follies - BFN
1st Cycle of Gonal F - 1 follie & cyst on right - BFN
TAB for a cycle
2nd Cycle of Gonal F = BFP!!!!!
11dpo Beta=27.9
14dpo Beta=120
16dpo Beta=210
18dpo Beta=429
21dpo Beta=1064
5w6d - baby measuring 3mm, h/b 101
6w6d - baby measuring 6mm, h/b 126
7w6d - baby 18mm, h/b 171, measuring ahead at 8w2d! RE noticed enlarged yolk sac so keeping a close eye on that
8w6d - baby 2.52cm with h/b of 174
9w5d - baby 3.22cm with h/b of 180 measuring 10w1d
10w6d - baby 4.34cmcm with h/b of 174 measuring 11w1d
12w u/s showed baby at 11.2cm with h/b of 162 - unfortunately, that evening I suffered a horrible m/c of a chromosomally NORMAL girl.... RIP my angel girl...you were loved....

Gonal F with Timed Intercourse-2WW
First cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse since m/c - BFN
2nd Cycle of Gonal F with Timed Intercourse - BFN
TAB for a month on bcp's
3rd Cycle of Gonal F - BFP
-11dpo beta=14.9
-14dpo beta=45.7
-16dpo beta=140
-18dpo beta=366
u/s at 6w1d showed heart-rate of 114!!!!
u/s at 7w1d showed heart-rate of 141!!!!
u/s at 8w showed heart-rate of 179
u/s at 9w showed 2 SCH's, h/r of 197
u/s at 10w showed h/r of 175
u/s at 11w showed h/r of 180
u/s at 12 w showed h/r of 188
12w2d...m/c'd baby at home, lost too much blood, had to have emergency D&C...severely anemic....baby was a chromosomally normal boy
-developed a blood clot in leg 1 1/2 wks post D&C...saw a hematologist and had testing done and everything came back normal, will still treat me with Lovenex on next pregnancy

-First cycle since m/c....Gonal F, triggered with 8 mature follies, T/I - BFP!
-13dpo beta 106, progesterone 21.4
-15dpo beta 260, progesterone 12.2
-16dpo beta 411, progesterone 16
-20dpo beta 845, progesterone 19 (went in for u/s to rule out ectopic, couldn't see anything yet, but lining was thick)
-22dpo beta 1158, progesterone 18
-24dpo beta 1655, progesterone 20
-5w?? u/s showed 2 sacs...one measuring 4w0d, the other measuring 5w1d....possibly vanishing twin???
-6w u/s showed TWINS! 2 h/r's....121, 119. both measuring 6w1d! SCH 1cm
-At 7w pg, tested positive for lupus anticoagulant, on lovenox to treat it, TSH was 2.55
-7w2d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 7w4d & 7w3d, h/r's 158 & 153! SCH 2cm
-8w1d u/s showed 2 babies measuring 8w3d & 8w2d, h/r's 185 & 179! SCH 3cm
-10w2d u/s showed we lost baby A measuring 9w1d and had no h/r...baby B measured 10w1d with a h/r of 180...praying for Baby B to hang on, SCH gone, started thyroid med
-11w1d u/s showed Baby B measuring right on track, h/r of 174
-12w1d had a red bleeding episode & u/s showed Baby B measuring 1 day ahead and a h/r of 168, bleeding likely caused by Baby A's passing
-13w1d had some red spotting & u/s showed Baby B measuring 2 days behind and h/r of 157
-14w...baby measured 14w3d...and I suffered a horrible, very sudden miscarriage...another angel baby...that makes 4.
Like others have said, there aren't words for this. My heart aches for you. Many many prayers and hugs for healing for you. I am so sorry.
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