contemplating the possibility of #2...what would you do?

contemplating the possibility of #2...what would you do?

Cindy
Cindy

May 26th, 2011, 12:09 am #1

So I'm currently pregnant with a completely natural, shockingly unexpected pregnancy, which followed several failed rounds of Clomid/IUIs and an unsuccessful IVF. My highest day 3 FSH is 19+. At the time I conceived naturally, I was 33; I am and will be 34 when the baby's born.

First of all--let me just say that I am ever so grateful for this healthy pregnancy and if having an only child is what ends up happening for us, that would be more than we thought possible during our darkest times.

That said, given that we did conceive naturally, I wonder what the best steps are to increase our likelihood of a possible second pregnancy. We have decided no more ART for us--like I said, if we can have just this one healthy baby, we would be satisfied. So it would have to be either try naturally or a "whatever happens, happens" type of approach (which is how this current pregnancy came along).

I have heard that breastfeeding might reduce your fertility during the time you do it? I would like to breastfeed my baby...but then the question is...for how long?

I guess all of this is a round about way of saying, I don't expect to win the lottery again and have a 2nd child given the high FSH and all that...but I would also not want to affirmatively cut off the possibility of having one either. Does that make sense?

Anyone have similar thoughts or concerns?
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Joined: December 20th, 2010, 7:38 pm

May 26th, 2011, 12:34 am #2

If there is one thing that I regret in the pursuit of #2, I regret not giving my #1 all that she deserves. She never got sick once on my breast milk, and I had plenty, I could have gone well into 12 months, but I had to cut her short at 7th month to do my ART (IVF requires you to be completely weaned). BM is the best protection for your baby, especially when YOU are sick. There was once when she was only 6 months, DH and I fell violently ill, and we could barely get out of bed. I increased my pumping to DD, and she miraculously did not fall ill at all, because my body gives my breast milk the highest priority of nutrition and antibodies, so all my antibodies went to her.

Now, given that you are ONLY 34, your chance of having a #2 naturally is excellent. Age is much more important than FSH. Age can overcome high FSH. There is really no harm for you to keep trying.

Typically, when you are BFing day and night on demand around the clock, you won't ovulate. However, if you cut out night feeding, ovulation could very well return at that point. It really depends on individual, there are people whose period return 3 months after delivery, there are people whose period won't return 3 months AFTER they wean. You never know. But the best strategy to induce the return of ovulation is to wean your baby at night.

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MargieD
MargieD

May 26th, 2011, 1:17 am #3

I agree with the previous poster. Most doctors recommend that babies get at least 12 months of breastmilk, if possible.

I wanted to comment on the night feedings. I was very lucky. DD slept through the night within two weeks so we didn't really have night feedings for very long. It worked out perfectly. I didn't have trouble making milk so my boobies would get very very FULL in the mornings. Sometimes it was easier to pump than to try to breastfeed. I didn't mind it so much because I got my (uninterrupted) sleep.

I also wanted to comment on something else. It took us five years to conceive DD - 2 1/2 years on our own, 2 years with stupid REs, and a few months with RE #3. He seemed to have all the answers (at the time - I had endo - although I had elevated FSH that he didn't know about) and got us pregnant on our first IVF. I knew as soon as I got pregnant that I wanted another one. DH wasn't on board, though. After she was born, he still wasn't on board. However, when she was almost a year old, DH realized that he wanted another one. He's to the point that he doesn't want us waiting out a cycle. Fortunately, we're working with Dr. Check who seems to think that we can get #2 without IVF. So - we'll see.
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Joined: September 22nd, 2009, 7:19 pm

May 26th, 2011, 1:52 am #4

So I'm currently pregnant with a completely natural, shockingly unexpected pregnancy, which followed several failed rounds of Clomid/IUIs and an unsuccessful IVF. My highest day 3 FSH is 19+. At the time I conceived naturally, I was 33; I am and will be 34 when the baby's born.

First of all--let me just say that I am ever so grateful for this healthy pregnancy and if having an only child is what ends up happening for us, that would be more than we thought possible during our darkest times.

That said, given that we did conceive naturally, I wonder what the best steps are to increase our likelihood of a possible second pregnancy. We have decided no more ART for us--like I said, if we can have just this one healthy baby, we would be satisfied. So it would have to be either try naturally or a "whatever happens, happens" type of approach (which is how this current pregnancy came along).

I have heard that breastfeeding might reduce your fertility during the time you do it? I would like to breastfeed my baby...but then the question is...for how long?

I guess all of this is a round about way of saying, I don't expect to win the lottery again and have a 2nd child given the high FSH and all that...but I would also not want to affirmatively cut off the possibility of having one either. Does that make sense?

Anyone have similar thoughts or concerns?
From my post below, you'll see I was lucky to get a bfp (though it seems to not be working out). I am currently breastfeeding my 14 month old. I never intended to go this long, but he loves it and I'm not quite ready to give up. I had read on kellymom (a great BF website) that night weaning can help restore fertility. My cycle had come back after three months post-partum, but it was very short each month - my luteal phase was 8-10 days each time. DS had sleeping issues and was still feeding several times a night up until a few weeks ago.

He actually started sleeping through the night on a day my cycle started (I also that day came down with the flu, was unable to go to him that night and ended up unintentially doing "cry it out" with him and who knew, but it worked!). So the very cycle he night weaned I managed to get pregnant.

I would say if you want to try for #2, see if your cycle comes back, consider partially supplementing (ds got one bottle of formula a night for most of his life because I had supply issues. I think that's why my cycle came back early, but it also allowed me to keep bf'ing him this long) and do better than me on sleep issues.
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Joined: June 20th, 2006, 2:07 am

May 26th, 2011, 3:15 am #5

So I'm currently pregnant with a completely natural, shockingly unexpected pregnancy, which followed several failed rounds of Clomid/IUIs and an unsuccessful IVF. My highest day 3 FSH is 19+. At the time I conceived naturally, I was 33; I am and will be 34 when the baby's born.

First of all--let me just say that I am ever so grateful for this healthy pregnancy and if having an only child is what ends up happening for us, that would be more than we thought possible during our darkest times.

That said, given that we did conceive naturally, I wonder what the best steps are to increase our likelihood of a possible second pregnancy. We have decided no more ART for us--like I said, if we can have just this one healthy baby, we would be satisfied. So it would have to be either try naturally or a "whatever happens, happens" type of approach (which is how this current pregnancy came along).

I have heard that breastfeeding might reduce your fertility during the time you do it? I would like to breastfeed my baby...but then the question is...for how long?

I guess all of this is a round about way of saying, I don't expect to win the lottery again and have a 2nd child given the high FSH and all that...but I would also not want to affirmatively cut off the possibility of having one either. Does that make sense?

Anyone have similar thoughts or concerns?
first, congratulations!!

I too was pg at 33 and had my boy when I was 34.

We started ttc#2 even before my AFs because it can happen, conceiving while bf. "they" say the less likely time while bf is when babe is nursing every 2hrs around the clock. Believe me, some babies actually nurse like this for a solid month before stretching out the feeds in the night. My DS was one and it's a real marvel we entertained the idea of a second. lol My DS was a very active baby--not hyper, just active but that is a whole other thread.

Nursing is a very personal decision. And can be difficult to master for some. It was for me and I managed to hang in there and nursed for 2yrs. BUT I wanted to quit so often, i just kept saying get me to the first week and then I'll see, get me to the second and then third week and finally I started counting months.
Wait and see what nature throws at you on the nursing front. My SIL got mastitis in the first week (common) and saw this as a sign that BF wasn't for them. and that is OK.

Bare minimum, get the colostrum in your baby if you can and decide after that. Most women's milk comes in on day 3 (also when the hormones hit too if you are going to have the baby blues. I was rather weepy myself) and can take up to day 5 if a c-sec.
Formula is a good tool. Also depends if you are going back to work and when. Are you in the States? Pumping at work isn't the funnest.

When we started to ttc#2, I really had to decide how long I was going to nurse my DS, how long a time so I won't regret weaning too soon and we still don't conceive. So that brought me to nursing until age 2 but my original target was 12mos. That was good for us. If at the time I had felt that 6mos was the magic number, that would have been ok too--and it was my first target but then as I reached it, I extended it. After the wean, it still took another year to finally catch another golden egg.
I was 38 when I conceived and had my DD. I nursed her until she was 2 as well. It's a good number for us and I certainly don't harshly judge those who never nurse or stop at 3mos, 6mos or a year. Whatever and how much you nurse is entirely up to you and your baby.
My DD is now 3.5yrs and I miss the baby years already.

hth, keep us posted
jm


me:42, DH 43
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Joined: December 29th, 2006, 10:07 am

May 26th, 2011, 6:54 am #6

So I'm currently pregnant with a completely natural, shockingly unexpected pregnancy, which followed several failed rounds of Clomid/IUIs and an unsuccessful IVF. My highest day 3 FSH is 19+. At the time I conceived naturally, I was 33; I am and will be 34 when the baby's born.

First of all--let me just say that I am ever so grateful for this healthy pregnancy and if having an only child is what ends up happening for us, that would be more than we thought possible during our darkest times.

That said, given that we did conceive naturally, I wonder what the best steps are to increase our likelihood of a possible second pregnancy. We have decided no more ART for us--like I said, if we can have just this one healthy baby, we would be satisfied. So it would have to be either try naturally or a "whatever happens, happens" type of approach (which is how this current pregnancy came along).

I have heard that breastfeeding might reduce your fertility during the time you do it? I would like to breastfeed my baby...but then the question is...for how long?

I guess all of this is a round about way of saying, I don't expect to win the lottery again and have a 2nd child given the high FSH and all that...but I would also not want to affirmatively cut off the possibility of having one either. Does that make sense?

Anyone have similar thoughts or concerns?
babies naturally. Both natural pregnancies happened when I stopped breastfeeding around 7 months (I stopped due to teeths, starting work and also just feeling that the babies needed the more substantial formula). I have ended up having only 19 months between my first 2 and 20 months between my middle and last child. Totally mad household, so busy but I would not change it for the world. I feel that if I had delayed in anyway, it just might not have happened as I suspect you are most fertile after having had a baby/finished bf.
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Joined: February 22nd, 2006, 4:05 am

May 26th, 2011, 1:50 pm #7

So I'm currently pregnant with a completely natural, shockingly unexpected pregnancy, which followed several failed rounds of Clomid/IUIs and an unsuccessful IVF. My highest day 3 FSH is 19+. At the time I conceived naturally, I was 33; I am and will be 34 when the baby's born.

First of all--let me just say that I am ever so grateful for this healthy pregnancy and if having an only child is what ends up happening for us, that would be more than we thought possible during our darkest times.

That said, given that we did conceive naturally, I wonder what the best steps are to increase our likelihood of a possible second pregnancy. We have decided no more ART for us--like I said, if we can have just this one healthy baby, we would be satisfied. So it would have to be either try naturally or a "whatever happens, happens" type of approach (which is how this current pregnancy came along).

I have heard that breastfeeding might reduce your fertility during the time you do it? I would like to breastfeed my baby...but then the question is...for how long?

I guess all of this is a round about way of saying, I don't expect to win the lottery again and have a 2nd child given the high FSH and all that...but I would also not want to affirmatively cut off the possibility of having one either. Does that make sense?

Anyone have similar thoughts or concerns?
expect to win the lottery again, I did it twice with high fsh and I'm 10 yrs older than you.

"I have heard that breastfeeding might reduce your fertility during the time you do it? I would like to breastfeed my baby...but then the question is...for how long?"

My understanding is that after about 4 mths breastfeeding stops having an impact on your fertility. I got a/f at exactly 4 mths pp and got pg again "while breastfeeding full time" when ds #1 was about 10 mths old. The director for ds's daycare (while I don't think she has any fertility issues) got pg right after giving birth to her 2nd to last. And she was breastfeeding like crazy. She had the baby, got pg again. Last baby was due when 2nd to last would have been exactly one year old. So that makes her knocked up around 3 mths pp. Baby actually came 2 mths early so she her last two are 10 mths apart. She has 4 boys total.

I can go on and on about stories like this. Bottom line is. Don't wait. You can ovulate and not know it before your first period pp. That's how many people end up unknowingly pg. As soon as you get a/f, you can start trying and monitoring yourself breastfeeding or not. Use your opk's and charting to get an idea of what's going on with your cycle and remember that pg gives you a cycle reset that can make getting pg the next time around - if you try soon enough - really easy or at least much easier than expected.

GL and congrats on your expected bundle of joy.

Z.
Last edited by ZakiaZ on May 26th, 2011, 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: February 22nd, 2006, 4:05 am

May 26th, 2011, 1:58 pm #8

If there is one thing that I regret in the pursuit of #2, I regret not giving my #1 all that she deserves. She never got sick once on my breast milk, and I had plenty, I could have gone well into 12 months, but I had to cut her short at 7th month to do my ART (IVF requires you to be completely weaned). BM is the best protection for your baby, especially when YOU are sick. There was once when she was only 6 months, DH and I fell violently ill, and we could barely get out of bed. I increased my pumping to DD, and she miraculously did not fall ill at all, because my body gives my breast milk the highest priority of nutrition and antibodies, so all my antibodies went to her.

Now, given that you are ONLY 34, your chance of having a #2 naturally is excellent. Age is much more important than FSH. Age can overcome high FSH. There is really no harm for you to keep trying.

Typically, when you are BFing day and night on demand around the clock, you won't ovulate. However, if you cut out night feeding, ovulation could very well return at that point. It really depends on individual, there are people whose period return 3 months after delivery, there are people whose period won't return 3 months AFTER they wean. You never know. But the best strategy to induce the return of ovulation is to wean your baby at night.
that you wrote that I'd like to touch upon:

BM is the best protection for your baby, especially when YOU are sick. There was once when she was only 6 months, DH and I fell violently ill, and we could barely get out of bed. I increased my pumping to DD, and she miraculously did not fall ill at all, because my body gives my breast milk the highest priority of nutrition and antibodies, so all my antibodies went to her."

BM does NOT always give protection for illnesses. Timing is very crucial here. Your body needs to produce antibodies BEFORE the baby is exposed to the illness and sometimes that simply does NOT happen.

Your dd not falling ill may have very well been because of antibodies in your BM but it could have also been just what you said "a miracle"

You also wrote:

"Typically, when you are BFing day and night on demand around the clock, you won't ovulate."

Not true at all. I gave a couple of examples in my post below. I know of instances where people got pg again because they believed this and didn't use protection. My obgyn was adamant that I use protection right away even though I was b/fing and I like you had TONS of b/m. Given that I got pg so quickly after ds #1 she felt that I really needed to practice safe sex and I was 44 when ds #2 was born, 42 when ds #1 was born and had high fsh like the op did.

When my ds #1 was born he never got ill, EVER. Went to a fairly large daycare and every two weeks it was something new. Ds #2 came home and for the first 8 - 10 mths of his life he had a new cold every two weeks. We're a pretty healthy family.

Do you have a child in daycare? I think if you did you will probably have a very different experience. One child in daycare and a baby at home and you'll be stunned at how sick that baby can get. Sometimes we couldn't tell where one cold ended and the other began.

Bottom line is, b/fing does NOT provide the level of protection that people tend to think it does. Especially if you take your kid out to mommy groups and other play groups and public places where germs are airbourne and rampant, and there are snotty noses and touching of toys etc., no amount of b/fing can stop every illness from getting to your baby. B/fing IS sometimes better than formula, that's for sure, but you still have to take other precautions and even then sometimes baby will still get sick.

I now of parents who socialize with their baby like there's no tomorrow. It's the "in" thing to do. Breast feeds like crazy any and everywhere they please and then can't understand why baby is still getting sick. Well duh, your baby just sucked the same toy that a snotty nosed child sucked, and inhaled a sneeze shower from another kid and if someone wants to be sure they don't get pg while b/fing, they better use proper protection. It can and does happen even at 40+ and with high fsh.

Cheers,
Z.
Last edited by ZakiaZ on May 26th, 2011, 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 15th, 2009, 8:50 pm

May 26th, 2011, 6:34 pm #9

So I'm currently pregnant with a completely natural, shockingly unexpected pregnancy, which followed several failed rounds of Clomid/IUIs and an unsuccessful IVF. My highest day 3 FSH is 19+. At the time I conceived naturally, I was 33; I am and will be 34 when the baby's born.

First of all--let me just say that I am ever so grateful for this healthy pregnancy and if having an only child is what ends up happening for us, that would be more than we thought possible during our darkest times.

That said, given that we did conceive naturally, I wonder what the best steps are to increase our likelihood of a possible second pregnancy. We have decided no more ART for us--like I said, if we can have just this one healthy baby, we would be satisfied. So it would have to be either try naturally or a "whatever happens, happens" type of approach (which is how this current pregnancy came along).

I have heard that breastfeeding might reduce your fertility during the time you do it? I would like to breastfeed my baby...but then the question is...for how long?

I guess all of this is a round about way of saying, I don't expect to win the lottery again and have a 2nd child given the high FSH and all that...but I would also not want to affirmatively cut off the possibility of having one either. Does that make sense?

Anyone have similar thoughts or concerns?
So much changes after you have the baby, you may love bfing, you may hate it, or you may have a lot of trouble and not be able to do it for very long;

You also may be really overwhelmed and not want to run the risk of getting pregnant right away--both my dds had colic and the first three months were hell for us; Or you may get a really good baby who likes to sleep and you may want to start trying right away! Just keep in mind baby #2 may not be as good as baby #1.

So, all these things will play into the decision of when you want to start trying again. I think it is true that you are more fertile after you have a baby, but I don't know if that fertility is extended if you are breastfeeding.

So, I think don't get too much into planning because you may have to change that plan when the baby comes along, and that may bum you out.

Congrats and good luck!


just to clarify: breast feeding does affect fertility because it generally suppresses AF, although how long it does so is different for everyone (but can be up to a year I think) so you cannot get pregnant if you are not ovulating. However, I think there is evidence that your fertility is increased after you have a baby, and I don't know if that extra fertility is pushed back by bfing, or if you are losing it by not being able to get pregnant when bfing
Last edited by jk403 on May 26th, 2011, 6:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Jamie
Jamie

May 26th, 2011, 6:53 pm #10

So I'm currently pregnant with a completely natural, shockingly unexpected pregnancy, which followed several failed rounds of Clomid/IUIs and an unsuccessful IVF. My highest day 3 FSH is 19+. At the time I conceived naturally, I was 33; I am and will be 34 when the baby's born.

First of all--let me just say that I am ever so grateful for this healthy pregnancy and if having an only child is what ends up happening for us, that would be more than we thought possible during our darkest times.

That said, given that we did conceive naturally, I wonder what the best steps are to increase our likelihood of a possible second pregnancy. We have decided no more ART for us--like I said, if we can have just this one healthy baby, we would be satisfied. So it would have to be either try naturally or a "whatever happens, happens" type of approach (which is how this current pregnancy came along).

I have heard that breastfeeding might reduce your fertility during the time you do it? I would like to breastfeed my baby...but then the question is...for how long?

I guess all of this is a round about way of saying, I don't expect to win the lottery again and have a 2nd child given the high FSH and all that...but I would also not want to affirmatively cut off the possibility of having one either. Does that make sense?

Anyone have similar thoughts or concerns?
My DD was born in early April, and I love motherhood so much that I absolutely want at least one more. The thing is that I will be 40 in June so can't burn too much time . . . will probably wean at six months so I can cycle again. We have to have IVF/ICSI so that will give me time to cycle a few times.
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