Joined: November 7th, 2009, 5:52 am

November 19th, 2011, 1:53 pm #1

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.



November 29th, 2011, 2:20 am #2

(from the National Lawers Directory – the humorous side of marriage)

LOVE - - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - - when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

LOVE - - when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - - when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - - when you argue over money.

LOVE - - when you share everything you own.
LUST - - when you think twice about giving your partner half of your sandwich.
MARRIAGE - - when the bank owns everything.

LOVE - - when you phone each other just to say "Hello".
LUST - - when you phone each other just to arrange sex.
MARRIAGE - - when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.

LOVE - - when you write poems about the one you love.
LUST - - when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - - when all you write are checks.

LOVE - - when you show concern for your true love's feelings.
LUST - - when you don't give a darn.
MARRIAGE - - when your only concern is what's next on TV.

LOVE - - when your farewell is "I love you darling ..."
LUST - - when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE - - when your farewell is silent.

LOVE - - when you are proud to be seen in public with your true love.
LUST - - when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE - - when you never see each other awake.

LOVE - - when your heart flutters everytime you see them.
LUST - - when your groin twitches everytime you see them.
MARRIAGE - - when your wallet empties everytime you see them.

LOVE - - when nobody else matters.
LUST - - when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

LOVE - - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - - when it's just the same mushy old junk.
MARRIAGE - - when you never listen to music.

LOVE - - when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - - when staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - - when just getting through today is your only thought.

LOVE - - when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST - - when you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE - - when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is the NRL/Cricket scores.