Time to come out of hiding (everything ment and LONG)

Time to come out of hiding (everything ment and LONG)

cbsgirl
cbsgirl

August 26th, 2011, 12:56 pm #1

Once a regular poster and more recently not, I thought I would pop back on the board to share the news of my pregnancy, a natural pregnancy at 43 at that something that was too long in the making and close to seeming impossible. I have been waiting to share the news until we were somewhat out of the woods and I believe is timely based on DeeinNYCs recent ask for success stories on the pregnancy board. Given my absence from the board in recent months, I will share the LONG and sordid details of what transpired for anyone who is interested.

After completing my 9th IVF last fall, I had pretty much lost faith in the process. I was a good responder (most cycles with 6-11 eggs that mostly matured/fertilized) despite my age (started cycling at 40) and FSH (FSH always tested at 11.2). And, I consistently produced blasts on each of my cycles. I was extremely hopeful of the process when I had an ectopic on my first IVF cycle and then re-found that hope with pregnancies on my 7th and 8th cycles, though they both ended up as missed miscarriages. And, while I adored my RE who had worked with me on cycles 1-8 and never mentioned odds/ success rates or gave up on me, I knew I needed to do something different before I could move on to other options. My 9th cycle was completed at Cornell under the care of Dr. Davis and was by all means my Hail Mary. While the cycle looked perfect on paper, the cycle was a bust. With that failure, I knew I was done with OE cycles.

My DH and I were on totally different pages with regards to next steps. I was gung-ho for Donor Egg and he was all for adoption assuming we had to do anything alternative at all. We were each headstrong in our own camps and it was going to take a lot of work to get either of us to back down on our positions. We attended seminars, talked to professionals, talked to folks who had BTDT, etc. And, we had a couple of conversations with my RE, who was wonderful in helping us look at things differently.

I had a saline sono done in December to confirm my uterine cavity was good-to-go for a DE cycle, as I was looking at shared risk and my uterine history was dodgy - abdominal myomectomy in 2007 to remove several fibroids and a questionable HSG in mid-2010. Fortunately, everything checked out ok with my uterus. The only issue was getting us on the same page, so I could start a mock cycle.

We somehow got somewhat on the same page in mid-February and I was all prepared to call my clinic on cd1 to begin my mock cycle, which should fall right around my 43rd birthday in early March. Everyone is probably thinking what? She missed her period and found out she was pregnant on her birthday. WRONG!
Ten days before my birthday, I got a call that my sisters scheduled hysterectomy for fast growing fibroids was actually a major surgery to remove stage iv uterine sarcoma a very rare and deadly form of cancer that primarily occurs in post-menopausal women in their 60s and 70s. My sister is in her mid-40s. She asked if I could come and help care for her, as she didnt think my mom could handle all of her needs. My mom is in her late 70s and my sister is divorced, so I was the obvious choice and was happy to go and help.

Obviously, all plans to start a mock cycle went out the window and I spent my 43rd birthday in an oncologists office learning that my sister would be lucky to make it a year with her diagnosis and chemotherapy. So, my focus became my sister and I have spent the better part of the past 6 months giving her support and helping care for her. It has been fulfilling, but unbelievably stressful given that my DH is 500+ miles away and I am still working fulltime. DH and I have spent more time apart than together and it has been hard on both of us.

Somehow in the midst of everything with my sister, DH finally came around to DE and was ready to get started. My sister became more stable in May and I was finally able to spend a little more time at home with DH. My AF in May was terrible and I thought oh no! Bad AF = fibroid encroachment, as all signs were there of my cycles pre-surgery. Yikes! All bets are off. I called my RE and he suggested another saline sono. The issue was when I could get the darn thing scheduled. So, the next cycle worked out that I was home in the cd5-10 window in early June, however my RE was on vacation. Gah! Given my history, I was unwilling to have another RE perform the test and decided to test fate for another cycle.

I was not tracking anything temps, OPKs, etc, however a few days later after calling my clinic I had a LARGE amount of EWCM something unusual for me at my age. I figured I would use an OPK the following day for the heck of it and was convinced I had already ovulated. I was surprised to see an almost positive on the OPK the next AM and told DH we needed to BD. To say he was not a willing participant is an understatement! He said why? It hasnt worked yet and I am ready to move on. Huh? Where had this man come from? It certainly wasnt my DH of months before. I asked again and promised this would be it. We wouldnt try after this month and would move on. He relented and said hed do it just that one time. The real positive on the OPK came the following day and I somehow got him to agree to try again.

I started spotting the day after our last BD and it continued for the better part of a week. I was annoyed and knew my lining was $#^& as a result, which made me feel our efforts really were for naught. The spotting stopped after a week and I was just waiting for AF to come.

The timing of my next AF corresponded to my visit home over the 4th of July, which meant I could get my saline sono done!!! My cycles had been a little unpredictable in terms of length, so I thought AF should be there around the 2nd. Every day I was anxiously anticipating a nice, red wipe, so I could make the appt. When we went boating on the 4th, I packed my tampons, as I KNEW AF would show up as soon as we got on the water. I was surprised when she didnt and was actually pissed, as I wanted to get on with things and get that saline sono done.

So, the next day I decided to do a pregnancy test for absolutely no other reason than to get my AF started. It had always worked before. POAS and then AF is there with the next wipe. Imagine my surprise when the second line showed up immediately and it was DARK. I was pregnant - iyiyi! I felt like the dog that caught the bus what next? I was so in denial that for two days I didnt tell DH or call my REs office for a beta.

For someone who only ever had low betas to start, I was floored when my 18dpo number was very strong. And, the 2 subsequent betas doubled appropriately. Woo hoo! All three u/s with my RE showed everything measuring on track and a strong heartbeat each time. It was a surreal experience to graduate from my REs office after almost 4 years under his care and everyone in the office was so emotional and supportive.
I remained in denial leading up to my first OB visit at a little over 10 weeks. Fortunately for me, my OB was able to find the heartbeat on Doppler very reassuring given the spotting I had over the 3-4 days leading up to the appt. And, he was even discussing who would do my mandatory c-section (he will, of course!), which will occur a day or two after my 44th birthday in early March, depending on scheduling.

We decided to do the NT scan and just got our results back. Our odds of a chromosomally normal baby were the best possible for my age, which is reassuring at this point and the main reason I am ready to share my news. Not sure if we will do amnio, but we still have time to decide.

I can honestly say that I was doing nothing special for this BFP. I started exercising like a fiend (bootcamp, running, personal training) in early April to deal with the stress from my sister and actually dropped some of the weight I picked up over the past 4 years of ttc. And, I was working out particularly hard in the luteal phase of my successful cycle. I started seeing a chiropractor, who is more of a healer than the average chiropractor, on an as-needed basis to correct my very out of alignment hips. I was consuming a fair amount of caffeine via Starbucks iced tea, but actually dialed it back right around implantation due to a bad encounter with an employee and nothing to do with my circumstances. I continued to drink tea after I ended my relationship with Starbucks, though in much weaker doses. I was taking Vitamin D3 and C supplements on top of prenatals, since D tested low previously and a little boost of C never hurts esp when vulnerable to illness. Other than that, all I can say is that I have been stressed out beyond belief for 5 months and have come to believe that everything happens on its own timeline. I would never have believed it possible for this wonderful thing to happen to me and I can honestly say it was completely out of my control!!!

I still have a long way to go before I feel like I can relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Maybe that will come when I can feel this little one kick/move around? The slight nausea and intense hunger seem like a total pain, but they are my reminder each day that something is going on inside of me! And, I have been very protective in sharing this news until now. I have selectively told very close friends who have been a part of my IF journey (including some wonderful IRL friends from these boards). I have also shared the news with my sister and my pregnancy is giving her strength and hope to make it until the baby is here. DH and I are sharing the news more broadly with our families today.

I can honestly say that I dont think this pregnancy would be possible had I never found this board. The advice and support has been invaluable and seen me through some very tough times. There are so many wonderful and amazing women on this board who have provided me with lots of love and support throughout this journey and I just want to say THANK YOU!!! I hope my story will give hope to others who are still ttc and my wish is that each of you will end up with the happiest of endings!!

XO

cbsgirl
Quote
Share

Tanya
Tanya

August 26th, 2011, 1:20 pm #2

I had tears as I was reading this, congratulations!!!!
Quote
Share

summerwind03
summerwind03

August 26th, 2011, 1:35 pm #3

Once a regular poster and more recently not, I thought I would pop back on the board to share the news of my pregnancy, a natural pregnancy at 43 at that something that was too long in the making and close to seeming impossible. I have been waiting to share the news until we were somewhat out of the woods and I believe is timely based on DeeinNYCs recent ask for success stories on the pregnancy board. Given my absence from the board in recent months, I will share the LONG and sordid details of what transpired for anyone who is interested.

After completing my 9th IVF last fall, I had pretty much lost faith in the process. I was a good responder (most cycles with 6-11 eggs that mostly matured/fertilized) despite my age (started cycling at 40) and FSH (FSH always tested at 11.2). And, I consistently produced blasts on each of my cycles. I was extremely hopeful of the process when I had an ectopic on my first IVF cycle and then re-found that hope with pregnancies on my 7th and 8th cycles, though they both ended up as missed miscarriages. And, while I adored my RE who had worked with me on cycles 1-8 and never mentioned odds/ success rates or gave up on me, I knew I needed to do something different before I could move on to other options. My 9th cycle was completed at Cornell under the care of Dr. Davis and was by all means my Hail Mary. While the cycle looked perfect on paper, the cycle was a bust. With that failure, I knew I was done with OE cycles.

My DH and I were on totally different pages with regards to next steps. I was gung-ho for Donor Egg and he was all for adoption assuming we had to do anything alternative at all. We were each headstrong in our own camps and it was going to take a lot of work to get either of us to back down on our positions. We attended seminars, talked to professionals, talked to folks who had BTDT, etc. And, we had a couple of conversations with my RE, who was wonderful in helping us look at things differently.

I had a saline sono done in December to confirm my uterine cavity was good-to-go for a DE cycle, as I was looking at shared risk and my uterine history was dodgy - abdominal myomectomy in 2007 to remove several fibroids and a questionable HSG in mid-2010. Fortunately, everything checked out ok with my uterus. The only issue was getting us on the same page, so I could start a mock cycle.

We somehow got somewhat on the same page in mid-February and I was all prepared to call my clinic on cd1 to begin my mock cycle, which should fall right around my 43rd birthday in early March. Everyone is probably thinking what? She missed her period and found out she was pregnant on her birthday. WRONG!
Ten days before my birthday, I got a call that my sisters scheduled hysterectomy for fast growing fibroids was actually a major surgery to remove stage iv uterine sarcoma a very rare and deadly form of cancer that primarily occurs in post-menopausal women in their 60s and 70s. My sister is in her mid-40s. She asked if I could come and help care for her, as she didnt think my mom could handle all of her needs. My mom is in her late 70s and my sister is divorced, so I was the obvious choice and was happy to go and help.

Obviously, all plans to start a mock cycle went out the window and I spent my 43rd birthday in an oncologists office learning that my sister would be lucky to make it a year with her diagnosis and chemotherapy. So, my focus became my sister and I have spent the better part of the past 6 months giving her support and helping care for her. It has been fulfilling, but unbelievably stressful given that my DH is 500+ miles away and I am still working fulltime. DH and I have spent more time apart than together and it has been hard on both of us.

Somehow in the midst of everything with my sister, DH finally came around to DE and was ready to get started. My sister became more stable in May and I was finally able to spend a little more time at home with DH. My AF in May was terrible and I thought oh no! Bad AF = fibroid encroachment, as all signs were there of my cycles pre-surgery. Yikes! All bets are off. I called my RE and he suggested another saline sono. The issue was when I could get the darn thing scheduled. So, the next cycle worked out that I was home in the cd5-10 window in early June, however my RE was on vacation. Gah! Given my history, I was unwilling to have another RE perform the test and decided to test fate for another cycle.

I was not tracking anything temps, OPKs, etc, however a few days later after calling my clinic I had a LARGE amount of EWCM something unusual for me at my age. I figured I would use an OPK the following day for the heck of it and was convinced I had already ovulated. I was surprised to see an almost positive on the OPK the next AM and told DH we needed to BD. To say he was not a willing participant is an understatement! He said why? It hasnt worked yet and I am ready to move on. Huh? Where had this man come from? It certainly wasnt my DH of months before. I asked again and promised this would be it. We wouldnt try after this month and would move on. He relented and said hed do it just that one time. The real positive on the OPK came the following day and I somehow got him to agree to try again.

I started spotting the day after our last BD and it continued for the better part of a week. I was annoyed and knew my lining was $#^& as a result, which made me feel our efforts really were for naught. The spotting stopped after a week and I was just waiting for AF to come.

The timing of my next AF corresponded to my visit home over the 4th of July, which meant I could get my saline sono done!!! My cycles had been a little unpredictable in terms of length, so I thought AF should be there around the 2nd. Every day I was anxiously anticipating a nice, red wipe, so I could make the appt. When we went boating on the 4th, I packed my tampons, as I KNEW AF would show up as soon as we got on the water. I was surprised when she didnt and was actually pissed, as I wanted to get on with things and get that saline sono done.

So, the next day I decided to do a pregnancy test for absolutely no other reason than to get my AF started. It had always worked before. POAS and then AF is there with the next wipe. Imagine my surprise when the second line showed up immediately and it was DARK. I was pregnant - iyiyi! I felt like the dog that caught the bus what next? I was so in denial that for two days I didnt tell DH or call my REs office for a beta.

For someone who only ever had low betas to start, I was floored when my 18dpo number was very strong. And, the 2 subsequent betas doubled appropriately. Woo hoo! All three u/s with my RE showed everything measuring on track and a strong heartbeat each time. It was a surreal experience to graduate from my REs office after almost 4 years under his care and everyone in the office was so emotional and supportive.
I remained in denial leading up to my first OB visit at a little over 10 weeks. Fortunately for me, my OB was able to find the heartbeat on Doppler very reassuring given the spotting I had over the 3-4 days leading up to the appt. And, he was even discussing who would do my mandatory c-section (he will, of course!), which will occur a day or two after my 44th birthday in early March, depending on scheduling.

We decided to do the NT scan and just got our results back. Our odds of a chromosomally normal baby were the best possible for my age, which is reassuring at this point and the main reason I am ready to share my news. Not sure if we will do amnio, but we still have time to decide.

I can honestly say that I was doing nothing special for this BFP. I started exercising like a fiend (bootcamp, running, personal training) in early April to deal with the stress from my sister and actually dropped some of the weight I picked up over the past 4 years of ttc. And, I was working out particularly hard in the luteal phase of my successful cycle. I started seeing a chiropractor, who is more of a healer than the average chiropractor, on an as-needed basis to correct my very out of alignment hips. I was consuming a fair amount of caffeine via Starbucks iced tea, but actually dialed it back right around implantation due to a bad encounter with an employee and nothing to do with my circumstances. I continued to drink tea after I ended my relationship with Starbucks, though in much weaker doses. I was taking Vitamin D3 and C supplements on top of prenatals, since D tested low previously and a little boost of C never hurts esp when vulnerable to illness. Other than that, all I can say is that I have been stressed out beyond belief for 5 months and have come to believe that everything happens on its own timeline. I would never have believed it possible for this wonderful thing to happen to me and I can honestly say it was completely out of my control!!!

I still have a long way to go before I feel like I can relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Maybe that will come when I can feel this little one kick/move around? The slight nausea and intense hunger seem like a total pain, but they are my reminder each day that something is going on inside of me! And, I have been very protective in sharing this news until now. I have selectively told very close friends who have been a part of my IF journey (including some wonderful IRL friends from these boards). I have also shared the news with my sister and my pregnancy is giving her strength and hope to make it until the baby is here. DH and I are sharing the news more broadly with our families today.

I can honestly say that I dont think this pregnancy would be possible had I never found this board. The advice and support has been invaluable and seen me through some very tough times. There are so many wonderful and amazing women on this board who have provided me with lots of love and support throughout this journey and I just want to say THANK YOU!!! I hope my story will give hope to others who are still ttc and my wish is that each of you will end up with the happiest of endings!!

XO

cbsgirl
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story!

You've been a great support to so many others on this board, and it's so great that you've found success!
Quote
Share

Joined: September 6th, 2009, 7:55 am

August 26th, 2011, 1:48 pm #4

Once a regular poster and more recently not, I thought I would pop back on the board to share the news of my pregnancy, a natural pregnancy at 43 at that something that was too long in the making and close to seeming impossible. I have been waiting to share the news until we were somewhat out of the woods and I believe is timely based on DeeinNYCs recent ask for success stories on the pregnancy board. Given my absence from the board in recent months, I will share the LONG and sordid details of what transpired for anyone who is interested.

After completing my 9th IVF last fall, I had pretty much lost faith in the process. I was a good responder (most cycles with 6-11 eggs that mostly matured/fertilized) despite my age (started cycling at 40) and FSH (FSH always tested at 11.2). And, I consistently produced blasts on each of my cycles. I was extremely hopeful of the process when I had an ectopic on my first IVF cycle and then re-found that hope with pregnancies on my 7th and 8th cycles, though they both ended up as missed miscarriages. And, while I adored my RE who had worked with me on cycles 1-8 and never mentioned odds/ success rates or gave up on me, I knew I needed to do something different before I could move on to other options. My 9th cycle was completed at Cornell under the care of Dr. Davis and was by all means my Hail Mary. While the cycle looked perfect on paper, the cycle was a bust. With that failure, I knew I was done with OE cycles.

My DH and I were on totally different pages with regards to next steps. I was gung-ho for Donor Egg and he was all for adoption assuming we had to do anything alternative at all. We were each headstrong in our own camps and it was going to take a lot of work to get either of us to back down on our positions. We attended seminars, talked to professionals, talked to folks who had BTDT, etc. And, we had a couple of conversations with my RE, who was wonderful in helping us look at things differently.

I had a saline sono done in December to confirm my uterine cavity was good-to-go for a DE cycle, as I was looking at shared risk and my uterine history was dodgy - abdominal myomectomy in 2007 to remove several fibroids and a questionable HSG in mid-2010. Fortunately, everything checked out ok with my uterus. The only issue was getting us on the same page, so I could start a mock cycle.

We somehow got somewhat on the same page in mid-February and I was all prepared to call my clinic on cd1 to begin my mock cycle, which should fall right around my 43rd birthday in early March. Everyone is probably thinking what? She missed her period and found out she was pregnant on her birthday. WRONG!
Ten days before my birthday, I got a call that my sisters scheduled hysterectomy for fast growing fibroids was actually a major surgery to remove stage iv uterine sarcoma a very rare and deadly form of cancer that primarily occurs in post-menopausal women in their 60s and 70s. My sister is in her mid-40s. She asked if I could come and help care for her, as she didnt think my mom could handle all of her needs. My mom is in her late 70s and my sister is divorced, so I was the obvious choice and was happy to go and help.

Obviously, all plans to start a mock cycle went out the window and I spent my 43rd birthday in an oncologists office learning that my sister would be lucky to make it a year with her diagnosis and chemotherapy. So, my focus became my sister and I have spent the better part of the past 6 months giving her support and helping care for her. It has been fulfilling, but unbelievably stressful given that my DH is 500+ miles away and I am still working fulltime. DH and I have spent more time apart than together and it has been hard on both of us.

Somehow in the midst of everything with my sister, DH finally came around to DE and was ready to get started. My sister became more stable in May and I was finally able to spend a little more time at home with DH. My AF in May was terrible and I thought oh no! Bad AF = fibroid encroachment, as all signs were there of my cycles pre-surgery. Yikes! All bets are off. I called my RE and he suggested another saline sono. The issue was when I could get the darn thing scheduled. So, the next cycle worked out that I was home in the cd5-10 window in early June, however my RE was on vacation. Gah! Given my history, I was unwilling to have another RE perform the test and decided to test fate for another cycle.

I was not tracking anything temps, OPKs, etc, however a few days later after calling my clinic I had a LARGE amount of EWCM something unusual for me at my age. I figured I would use an OPK the following day for the heck of it and was convinced I had already ovulated. I was surprised to see an almost positive on the OPK the next AM and told DH we needed to BD. To say he was not a willing participant is an understatement! He said why? It hasnt worked yet and I am ready to move on. Huh? Where had this man come from? It certainly wasnt my DH of months before. I asked again and promised this would be it. We wouldnt try after this month and would move on. He relented and said hed do it just that one time. The real positive on the OPK came the following day and I somehow got him to agree to try again.

I started spotting the day after our last BD and it continued for the better part of a week. I was annoyed and knew my lining was $#^& as a result, which made me feel our efforts really were for naught. The spotting stopped after a week and I was just waiting for AF to come.

The timing of my next AF corresponded to my visit home over the 4th of July, which meant I could get my saline sono done!!! My cycles had been a little unpredictable in terms of length, so I thought AF should be there around the 2nd. Every day I was anxiously anticipating a nice, red wipe, so I could make the appt. When we went boating on the 4th, I packed my tampons, as I KNEW AF would show up as soon as we got on the water. I was surprised when she didnt and was actually pissed, as I wanted to get on with things and get that saline sono done.

So, the next day I decided to do a pregnancy test for absolutely no other reason than to get my AF started. It had always worked before. POAS and then AF is there with the next wipe. Imagine my surprise when the second line showed up immediately and it was DARK. I was pregnant - iyiyi! I felt like the dog that caught the bus what next? I was so in denial that for two days I didnt tell DH or call my REs office for a beta.

For someone who only ever had low betas to start, I was floored when my 18dpo number was very strong. And, the 2 subsequent betas doubled appropriately. Woo hoo! All three u/s with my RE showed everything measuring on track and a strong heartbeat each time. It was a surreal experience to graduate from my REs office after almost 4 years under his care and everyone in the office was so emotional and supportive.
I remained in denial leading up to my first OB visit at a little over 10 weeks. Fortunately for me, my OB was able to find the heartbeat on Doppler very reassuring given the spotting I had over the 3-4 days leading up to the appt. And, he was even discussing who would do my mandatory c-section (he will, of course!), which will occur a day or two after my 44th birthday in early March, depending on scheduling.

We decided to do the NT scan and just got our results back. Our odds of a chromosomally normal baby were the best possible for my age, which is reassuring at this point and the main reason I am ready to share my news. Not sure if we will do amnio, but we still have time to decide.

I can honestly say that I was doing nothing special for this BFP. I started exercising like a fiend (bootcamp, running, personal training) in early April to deal with the stress from my sister and actually dropped some of the weight I picked up over the past 4 years of ttc. And, I was working out particularly hard in the luteal phase of my successful cycle. I started seeing a chiropractor, who is more of a healer than the average chiropractor, on an as-needed basis to correct my very out of alignment hips. I was consuming a fair amount of caffeine via Starbucks iced tea, but actually dialed it back right around implantation due to a bad encounter with an employee and nothing to do with my circumstances. I continued to drink tea after I ended my relationship with Starbucks, though in much weaker doses. I was taking Vitamin D3 and C supplements on top of prenatals, since D tested low previously and a little boost of C never hurts esp when vulnerable to illness. Other than that, all I can say is that I have been stressed out beyond belief for 5 months and have come to believe that everything happens on its own timeline. I would never have believed it possible for this wonderful thing to happen to me and I can honestly say it was completely out of my control!!!

I still have a long way to go before I feel like I can relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Maybe that will come when I can feel this little one kick/move around? The slight nausea and intense hunger seem like a total pain, but they are my reminder each day that something is going on inside of me! And, I have been very protective in sharing this news until now. I have selectively told very close friends who have been a part of my IF journey (including some wonderful IRL friends from these boards). I have also shared the news with my sister and my pregnancy is giving her strength and hope to make it until the baby is here. DH and I are sharing the news more broadly with our families today.

I can honestly say that I dont think this pregnancy would be possible had I never found this board. The advice and support has been invaluable and seen me through some very tough times. There are so many wonderful and amazing women on this board who have provided me with lots of love and support throughout this journey and I just want to say THANK YOU!!! I hope my story will give hope to others who are still ttc and my wish is that each of you will end up with the happiest of endings!!

XO

cbsgirl
That is an overwhelming story, and one with the happiest ending. I hope you have nothing but good news day after day and that you get to feel that little guy/girl kick early and often

Thanks for sharing your wonderful story of encouragement....

Al
Quote
Like
Share

sch1star
sch1star

August 26th, 2011, 1:52 pm #5

Once a regular poster and more recently not, I thought I would pop back on the board to share the news of my pregnancy, a natural pregnancy at 43 at that something that was too long in the making and close to seeming impossible. I have been waiting to share the news until we were somewhat out of the woods and I believe is timely based on DeeinNYCs recent ask for success stories on the pregnancy board. Given my absence from the board in recent months, I will share the LONG and sordid details of what transpired for anyone who is interested.

After completing my 9th IVF last fall, I had pretty much lost faith in the process. I was a good responder (most cycles with 6-11 eggs that mostly matured/fertilized) despite my age (started cycling at 40) and FSH (FSH always tested at 11.2). And, I consistently produced blasts on each of my cycles. I was extremely hopeful of the process when I had an ectopic on my first IVF cycle and then re-found that hope with pregnancies on my 7th and 8th cycles, though they both ended up as missed miscarriages. And, while I adored my RE who had worked with me on cycles 1-8 and never mentioned odds/ success rates or gave up on me, I knew I needed to do something different before I could move on to other options. My 9th cycle was completed at Cornell under the care of Dr. Davis and was by all means my Hail Mary. While the cycle looked perfect on paper, the cycle was a bust. With that failure, I knew I was done with OE cycles.

My DH and I were on totally different pages with regards to next steps. I was gung-ho for Donor Egg and he was all for adoption assuming we had to do anything alternative at all. We were each headstrong in our own camps and it was going to take a lot of work to get either of us to back down on our positions. We attended seminars, talked to professionals, talked to folks who had BTDT, etc. And, we had a couple of conversations with my RE, who was wonderful in helping us look at things differently.

I had a saline sono done in December to confirm my uterine cavity was good-to-go for a DE cycle, as I was looking at shared risk and my uterine history was dodgy - abdominal myomectomy in 2007 to remove several fibroids and a questionable HSG in mid-2010. Fortunately, everything checked out ok with my uterus. The only issue was getting us on the same page, so I could start a mock cycle.

We somehow got somewhat on the same page in mid-February and I was all prepared to call my clinic on cd1 to begin my mock cycle, which should fall right around my 43rd birthday in early March. Everyone is probably thinking what? She missed her period and found out she was pregnant on her birthday. WRONG!
Ten days before my birthday, I got a call that my sisters scheduled hysterectomy for fast growing fibroids was actually a major surgery to remove stage iv uterine sarcoma a very rare and deadly form of cancer that primarily occurs in post-menopausal women in their 60s and 70s. My sister is in her mid-40s. She asked if I could come and help care for her, as she didnt think my mom could handle all of her needs. My mom is in her late 70s and my sister is divorced, so I was the obvious choice and was happy to go and help.

Obviously, all plans to start a mock cycle went out the window and I spent my 43rd birthday in an oncologists office learning that my sister would be lucky to make it a year with her diagnosis and chemotherapy. So, my focus became my sister and I have spent the better part of the past 6 months giving her support and helping care for her. It has been fulfilling, but unbelievably stressful given that my DH is 500+ miles away and I am still working fulltime. DH and I have spent more time apart than together and it has been hard on both of us.

Somehow in the midst of everything with my sister, DH finally came around to DE and was ready to get started. My sister became more stable in May and I was finally able to spend a little more time at home with DH. My AF in May was terrible and I thought oh no! Bad AF = fibroid encroachment, as all signs were there of my cycles pre-surgery. Yikes! All bets are off. I called my RE and he suggested another saline sono. The issue was when I could get the darn thing scheduled. So, the next cycle worked out that I was home in the cd5-10 window in early June, however my RE was on vacation. Gah! Given my history, I was unwilling to have another RE perform the test and decided to test fate for another cycle.

I was not tracking anything temps, OPKs, etc, however a few days later after calling my clinic I had a LARGE amount of EWCM something unusual for me at my age. I figured I would use an OPK the following day for the heck of it and was convinced I had already ovulated. I was surprised to see an almost positive on the OPK the next AM and told DH we needed to BD. To say he was not a willing participant is an understatement! He said why? It hasnt worked yet and I am ready to move on. Huh? Where had this man come from? It certainly wasnt my DH of months before. I asked again and promised this would be it. We wouldnt try after this month and would move on. He relented and said hed do it just that one time. The real positive on the OPK came the following day and I somehow got him to agree to try again.

I started spotting the day after our last BD and it continued for the better part of a week. I was annoyed and knew my lining was $#^& as a result, which made me feel our efforts really were for naught. The spotting stopped after a week and I was just waiting for AF to come.

The timing of my next AF corresponded to my visit home over the 4th of July, which meant I could get my saline sono done!!! My cycles had been a little unpredictable in terms of length, so I thought AF should be there around the 2nd. Every day I was anxiously anticipating a nice, red wipe, so I could make the appt. When we went boating on the 4th, I packed my tampons, as I KNEW AF would show up as soon as we got on the water. I was surprised when she didnt and was actually pissed, as I wanted to get on with things and get that saline sono done.

So, the next day I decided to do a pregnancy test for absolutely no other reason than to get my AF started. It had always worked before. POAS and then AF is there with the next wipe. Imagine my surprise when the second line showed up immediately and it was DARK. I was pregnant - iyiyi! I felt like the dog that caught the bus what next? I was so in denial that for two days I didnt tell DH or call my REs office for a beta.

For someone who only ever had low betas to start, I was floored when my 18dpo number was very strong. And, the 2 subsequent betas doubled appropriately. Woo hoo! All three u/s with my RE showed everything measuring on track and a strong heartbeat each time. It was a surreal experience to graduate from my REs office after almost 4 years under his care and everyone in the office was so emotional and supportive.
I remained in denial leading up to my first OB visit at a little over 10 weeks. Fortunately for me, my OB was able to find the heartbeat on Doppler very reassuring given the spotting I had over the 3-4 days leading up to the appt. And, he was even discussing who would do my mandatory c-section (he will, of course!), which will occur a day or two after my 44th birthday in early March, depending on scheduling.

We decided to do the NT scan and just got our results back. Our odds of a chromosomally normal baby were the best possible for my age, which is reassuring at this point and the main reason I am ready to share my news. Not sure if we will do amnio, but we still have time to decide.

I can honestly say that I was doing nothing special for this BFP. I started exercising like a fiend (bootcamp, running, personal training) in early April to deal with the stress from my sister and actually dropped some of the weight I picked up over the past 4 years of ttc. And, I was working out particularly hard in the luteal phase of my successful cycle. I started seeing a chiropractor, who is more of a healer than the average chiropractor, on an as-needed basis to correct my very out of alignment hips. I was consuming a fair amount of caffeine via Starbucks iced tea, but actually dialed it back right around implantation due to a bad encounter with an employee and nothing to do with my circumstances. I continued to drink tea after I ended my relationship with Starbucks, though in much weaker doses. I was taking Vitamin D3 and C supplements on top of prenatals, since D tested low previously and a little boost of C never hurts esp when vulnerable to illness. Other than that, all I can say is that I have been stressed out beyond belief for 5 months and have come to believe that everything happens on its own timeline. I would never have believed it possible for this wonderful thing to happen to me and I can honestly say it was completely out of my control!!!

I still have a long way to go before I feel like I can relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Maybe that will come when I can feel this little one kick/move around? The slight nausea and intense hunger seem like a total pain, but they are my reminder each day that something is going on inside of me! And, I have been very protective in sharing this news until now. I have selectively told very close friends who have been a part of my IF journey (including some wonderful IRL friends from these boards). I have also shared the news with my sister and my pregnancy is giving her strength and hope to make it until the baby is here. DH and I are sharing the news more broadly with our families today.

I can honestly say that I dont think this pregnancy would be possible had I never found this board. The advice and support has been invaluable and seen me through some very tough times. There are so many wonderful and amazing women on this board who have provided me with lots of love and support throughout this journey and I just want to say THANK YOU!!! I hope my story will give hope to others who are still ttc and my wish is that each of you will end up with the happiest of endings!!

XO

cbsgirl
So very happy for you!
Quote
Share

hva12
hva12

August 26th, 2011, 1:53 pm #6

Once a regular poster and more recently not, I thought I would pop back on the board to share the news of my pregnancy, a natural pregnancy at 43 at that something that was too long in the making and close to seeming impossible. I have been waiting to share the news until we were somewhat out of the woods and I believe is timely based on DeeinNYCs recent ask for success stories on the pregnancy board. Given my absence from the board in recent months, I will share the LONG and sordid details of what transpired for anyone who is interested.

After completing my 9th IVF last fall, I had pretty much lost faith in the process. I was a good responder (most cycles with 6-11 eggs that mostly matured/fertilized) despite my age (started cycling at 40) and FSH (FSH always tested at 11.2). And, I consistently produced blasts on each of my cycles. I was extremely hopeful of the process when I had an ectopic on my first IVF cycle and then re-found that hope with pregnancies on my 7th and 8th cycles, though they both ended up as missed miscarriages. And, while I adored my RE who had worked with me on cycles 1-8 and never mentioned odds/ success rates or gave up on me, I knew I needed to do something different before I could move on to other options. My 9th cycle was completed at Cornell under the care of Dr. Davis and was by all means my Hail Mary. While the cycle looked perfect on paper, the cycle was a bust. With that failure, I knew I was done with OE cycles.

My DH and I were on totally different pages with regards to next steps. I was gung-ho for Donor Egg and he was all for adoption assuming we had to do anything alternative at all. We were each headstrong in our own camps and it was going to take a lot of work to get either of us to back down on our positions. We attended seminars, talked to professionals, talked to folks who had BTDT, etc. And, we had a couple of conversations with my RE, who was wonderful in helping us look at things differently.

I had a saline sono done in December to confirm my uterine cavity was good-to-go for a DE cycle, as I was looking at shared risk and my uterine history was dodgy - abdominal myomectomy in 2007 to remove several fibroids and a questionable HSG in mid-2010. Fortunately, everything checked out ok with my uterus. The only issue was getting us on the same page, so I could start a mock cycle.

We somehow got somewhat on the same page in mid-February and I was all prepared to call my clinic on cd1 to begin my mock cycle, which should fall right around my 43rd birthday in early March. Everyone is probably thinking what? She missed her period and found out she was pregnant on her birthday. WRONG!
Ten days before my birthday, I got a call that my sisters scheduled hysterectomy for fast growing fibroids was actually a major surgery to remove stage iv uterine sarcoma a very rare and deadly form of cancer that primarily occurs in post-menopausal women in their 60s and 70s. My sister is in her mid-40s. She asked if I could come and help care for her, as she didnt think my mom could handle all of her needs. My mom is in her late 70s and my sister is divorced, so I was the obvious choice and was happy to go and help.

Obviously, all plans to start a mock cycle went out the window and I spent my 43rd birthday in an oncologists office learning that my sister would be lucky to make it a year with her diagnosis and chemotherapy. So, my focus became my sister and I have spent the better part of the past 6 months giving her support and helping care for her. It has been fulfilling, but unbelievably stressful given that my DH is 500+ miles away and I am still working fulltime. DH and I have spent more time apart than together and it has been hard on both of us.

Somehow in the midst of everything with my sister, DH finally came around to DE and was ready to get started. My sister became more stable in May and I was finally able to spend a little more time at home with DH. My AF in May was terrible and I thought oh no! Bad AF = fibroid encroachment, as all signs were there of my cycles pre-surgery. Yikes! All bets are off. I called my RE and he suggested another saline sono. The issue was when I could get the darn thing scheduled. So, the next cycle worked out that I was home in the cd5-10 window in early June, however my RE was on vacation. Gah! Given my history, I was unwilling to have another RE perform the test and decided to test fate for another cycle.

I was not tracking anything temps, OPKs, etc, however a few days later after calling my clinic I had a LARGE amount of EWCM something unusual for me at my age. I figured I would use an OPK the following day for the heck of it and was convinced I had already ovulated. I was surprised to see an almost positive on the OPK the next AM and told DH we needed to BD. To say he was not a willing participant is an understatement! He said why? It hasnt worked yet and I am ready to move on. Huh? Where had this man come from? It certainly wasnt my DH of months before. I asked again and promised this would be it. We wouldnt try after this month and would move on. He relented and said hed do it just that one time. The real positive on the OPK came the following day and I somehow got him to agree to try again.

I started spotting the day after our last BD and it continued for the better part of a week. I was annoyed and knew my lining was $#^& as a result, which made me feel our efforts really were for naught. The spotting stopped after a week and I was just waiting for AF to come.

The timing of my next AF corresponded to my visit home over the 4th of July, which meant I could get my saline sono done!!! My cycles had been a little unpredictable in terms of length, so I thought AF should be there around the 2nd. Every day I was anxiously anticipating a nice, red wipe, so I could make the appt. When we went boating on the 4th, I packed my tampons, as I KNEW AF would show up as soon as we got on the water. I was surprised when she didnt and was actually pissed, as I wanted to get on with things and get that saline sono done.

So, the next day I decided to do a pregnancy test for absolutely no other reason than to get my AF started. It had always worked before. POAS and then AF is there with the next wipe. Imagine my surprise when the second line showed up immediately and it was DARK. I was pregnant - iyiyi! I felt like the dog that caught the bus what next? I was so in denial that for two days I didnt tell DH or call my REs office for a beta.

For someone who only ever had low betas to start, I was floored when my 18dpo number was very strong. And, the 2 subsequent betas doubled appropriately. Woo hoo! All three u/s with my RE showed everything measuring on track and a strong heartbeat each time. It was a surreal experience to graduate from my REs office after almost 4 years under his care and everyone in the office was so emotional and supportive.
I remained in denial leading up to my first OB visit at a little over 10 weeks. Fortunately for me, my OB was able to find the heartbeat on Doppler very reassuring given the spotting I had over the 3-4 days leading up to the appt. And, he was even discussing who would do my mandatory c-section (he will, of course!), which will occur a day or two after my 44th birthday in early March, depending on scheduling.

We decided to do the NT scan and just got our results back. Our odds of a chromosomally normal baby were the best possible for my age, which is reassuring at this point and the main reason I am ready to share my news. Not sure if we will do amnio, but we still have time to decide.

I can honestly say that I was doing nothing special for this BFP. I started exercising like a fiend (bootcamp, running, personal training) in early April to deal with the stress from my sister and actually dropped some of the weight I picked up over the past 4 years of ttc. And, I was working out particularly hard in the luteal phase of my successful cycle. I started seeing a chiropractor, who is more of a healer than the average chiropractor, on an as-needed basis to correct my very out of alignment hips. I was consuming a fair amount of caffeine via Starbucks iced tea, but actually dialed it back right around implantation due to a bad encounter with an employee and nothing to do with my circumstances. I continued to drink tea after I ended my relationship with Starbucks, though in much weaker doses. I was taking Vitamin D3 and C supplements on top of prenatals, since D tested low previously and a little boost of C never hurts esp when vulnerable to illness. Other than that, all I can say is that I have been stressed out beyond belief for 5 months and have come to believe that everything happens on its own timeline. I would never have believed it possible for this wonderful thing to happen to me and I can honestly say it was completely out of my control!!!

I still have a long way to go before I feel like I can relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Maybe that will come when I can feel this little one kick/move around? The slight nausea and intense hunger seem like a total pain, but they are my reminder each day that something is going on inside of me! And, I have been very protective in sharing this news until now. I have selectively told very close friends who have been a part of my IF journey (including some wonderful IRL friends from these boards). I have also shared the news with my sister and my pregnancy is giving her strength and hope to make it until the baby is here. DH and I are sharing the news more broadly with our families today.

I can honestly say that I dont think this pregnancy would be possible had I never found this board. The advice and support has been invaluable and seen me through some very tough times. There are so many wonderful and amazing women on this board who have provided me with lots of love and support throughout this journey and I just want to say THANK YOU!!! I hope my story will give hope to others who are still ttc and my wish is that each of you will end up with the happiest of endings!!

XO

cbsgirl
My dear friend, I could not be happier with this news today! You helped me get through my darkest days of IVF and now you are giving hope and inspiration to many others with your wonderful story. Congratulations!!!!

hva12
Quote
Share

Joined: August 28th, 2007, 1:04 pm

August 26th, 2011, 2:00 pm #7

Once a regular poster and more recently not, I thought I would pop back on the board to share the news of my pregnancy, a natural pregnancy at 43 at that something that was too long in the making and close to seeming impossible. I have been waiting to share the news until we were somewhat out of the woods and I believe is timely based on DeeinNYCs recent ask for success stories on the pregnancy board. Given my absence from the board in recent months, I will share the LONG and sordid details of what transpired for anyone who is interested.

After completing my 9th IVF last fall, I had pretty much lost faith in the process. I was a good responder (most cycles with 6-11 eggs that mostly matured/fertilized) despite my age (started cycling at 40) and FSH (FSH always tested at 11.2). And, I consistently produced blasts on each of my cycles. I was extremely hopeful of the process when I had an ectopic on my first IVF cycle and then re-found that hope with pregnancies on my 7th and 8th cycles, though they both ended up as missed miscarriages. And, while I adored my RE who had worked with me on cycles 1-8 and never mentioned odds/ success rates or gave up on me, I knew I needed to do something different before I could move on to other options. My 9th cycle was completed at Cornell under the care of Dr. Davis and was by all means my Hail Mary. While the cycle looked perfect on paper, the cycle was a bust. With that failure, I knew I was done with OE cycles.

My DH and I were on totally different pages with regards to next steps. I was gung-ho for Donor Egg and he was all for adoption assuming we had to do anything alternative at all. We were each headstrong in our own camps and it was going to take a lot of work to get either of us to back down on our positions. We attended seminars, talked to professionals, talked to folks who had BTDT, etc. And, we had a couple of conversations with my RE, who was wonderful in helping us look at things differently.

I had a saline sono done in December to confirm my uterine cavity was good-to-go for a DE cycle, as I was looking at shared risk and my uterine history was dodgy - abdominal myomectomy in 2007 to remove several fibroids and a questionable HSG in mid-2010. Fortunately, everything checked out ok with my uterus. The only issue was getting us on the same page, so I could start a mock cycle.

We somehow got somewhat on the same page in mid-February and I was all prepared to call my clinic on cd1 to begin my mock cycle, which should fall right around my 43rd birthday in early March. Everyone is probably thinking what? She missed her period and found out she was pregnant on her birthday. WRONG!
Ten days before my birthday, I got a call that my sisters scheduled hysterectomy for fast growing fibroids was actually a major surgery to remove stage iv uterine sarcoma a very rare and deadly form of cancer that primarily occurs in post-menopausal women in their 60s and 70s. My sister is in her mid-40s. She asked if I could come and help care for her, as she didnt think my mom could handle all of her needs. My mom is in her late 70s and my sister is divorced, so I was the obvious choice and was happy to go and help.

Obviously, all plans to start a mock cycle went out the window and I spent my 43rd birthday in an oncologists office learning that my sister would be lucky to make it a year with her diagnosis and chemotherapy. So, my focus became my sister and I have spent the better part of the past 6 months giving her support and helping care for her. It has been fulfilling, but unbelievably stressful given that my DH is 500+ miles away and I am still working fulltime. DH and I have spent more time apart than together and it has been hard on both of us.

Somehow in the midst of everything with my sister, DH finally came around to DE and was ready to get started. My sister became more stable in May and I was finally able to spend a little more time at home with DH. My AF in May was terrible and I thought oh no! Bad AF = fibroid encroachment, as all signs were there of my cycles pre-surgery. Yikes! All bets are off. I called my RE and he suggested another saline sono. The issue was when I could get the darn thing scheduled. So, the next cycle worked out that I was home in the cd5-10 window in early June, however my RE was on vacation. Gah! Given my history, I was unwilling to have another RE perform the test and decided to test fate for another cycle.

I was not tracking anything temps, OPKs, etc, however a few days later after calling my clinic I had a LARGE amount of EWCM something unusual for me at my age. I figured I would use an OPK the following day for the heck of it and was convinced I had already ovulated. I was surprised to see an almost positive on the OPK the next AM and told DH we needed to BD. To say he was not a willing participant is an understatement! He said why? It hasnt worked yet and I am ready to move on. Huh? Where had this man come from? It certainly wasnt my DH of months before. I asked again and promised this would be it. We wouldnt try after this month and would move on. He relented and said hed do it just that one time. The real positive on the OPK came the following day and I somehow got him to agree to try again.

I started spotting the day after our last BD and it continued for the better part of a week. I was annoyed and knew my lining was $#^& as a result, which made me feel our efforts really were for naught. The spotting stopped after a week and I was just waiting for AF to come.

The timing of my next AF corresponded to my visit home over the 4th of July, which meant I could get my saline sono done!!! My cycles had been a little unpredictable in terms of length, so I thought AF should be there around the 2nd. Every day I was anxiously anticipating a nice, red wipe, so I could make the appt. When we went boating on the 4th, I packed my tampons, as I KNEW AF would show up as soon as we got on the water. I was surprised when she didnt and was actually pissed, as I wanted to get on with things and get that saline sono done.

So, the next day I decided to do a pregnancy test for absolutely no other reason than to get my AF started. It had always worked before. POAS and then AF is there with the next wipe. Imagine my surprise when the second line showed up immediately and it was DARK. I was pregnant - iyiyi! I felt like the dog that caught the bus what next? I was so in denial that for two days I didnt tell DH or call my REs office for a beta.

For someone who only ever had low betas to start, I was floored when my 18dpo number was very strong. And, the 2 subsequent betas doubled appropriately. Woo hoo! All three u/s with my RE showed everything measuring on track and a strong heartbeat each time. It was a surreal experience to graduate from my REs office after almost 4 years under his care and everyone in the office was so emotional and supportive.
I remained in denial leading up to my first OB visit at a little over 10 weeks. Fortunately for me, my OB was able to find the heartbeat on Doppler very reassuring given the spotting I had over the 3-4 days leading up to the appt. And, he was even discussing who would do my mandatory c-section (he will, of course!), which will occur a day or two after my 44th birthday in early March, depending on scheduling.

We decided to do the NT scan and just got our results back. Our odds of a chromosomally normal baby were the best possible for my age, which is reassuring at this point and the main reason I am ready to share my news. Not sure if we will do amnio, but we still have time to decide.

I can honestly say that I was doing nothing special for this BFP. I started exercising like a fiend (bootcamp, running, personal training) in early April to deal with the stress from my sister and actually dropped some of the weight I picked up over the past 4 years of ttc. And, I was working out particularly hard in the luteal phase of my successful cycle. I started seeing a chiropractor, who is more of a healer than the average chiropractor, on an as-needed basis to correct my very out of alignment hips. I was consuming a fair amount of caffeine via Starbucks iced tea, but actually dialed it back right around implantation due to a bad encounter with an employee and nothing to do with my circumstances. I continued to drink tea after I ended my relationship with Starbucks, though in much weaker doses. I was taking Vitamin D3 and C supplements on top of prenatals, since D tested low previously and a little boost of C never hurts esp when vulnerable to illness. Other than that, all I can say is that I have been stressed out beyond belief for 5 months and have come to believe that everything happens on its own timeline. I would never have believed it possible for this wonderful thing to happen to me and I can honestly say it was completely out of my control!!!

I still have a long way to go before I feel like I can relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Maybe that will come when I can feel this little one kick/move around? The slight nausea and intense hunger seem like a total pain, but they are my reminder each day that something is going on inside of me! And, I have been very protective in sharing this news until now. I have selectively told very close friends who have been a part of my IF journey (including some wonderful IRL friends from these boards). I have also shared the news with my sister and my pregnancy is giving her strength and hope to make it until the baby is here. DH and I are sharing the news more broadly with our families today.

I can honestly say that I dont think this pregnancy would be possible had I never found this board. The advice and support has been invaluable and seen me through some very tough times. There are so many wonderful and amazing women on this board who have provided me with lots of love and support throughout this journey and I just want to say THANK YOU!!! I hope my story will give hope to others who are still ttc and my wish is that each of you will end up with the happiest of endings!!

XO

cbsgirl
Wow, your story is absolutely amazing, and I'm SOOOO happy for you. You've always been so helpful and responsive to everyone here; so glad to see this happen for you.

I'm so sorry about your sister. I'm sure she appreciates all you've done for her, and I hope that her prognosis ends up being a good one. You're a good sister. ((((Hugs.)))))

Again, congrats to you and DH! Looking forward to reading your updates on the PG board.

Hugs,
Meg
Quote
Like
Share

maureen
maureen

August 26th, 2011, 2:16 pm #8

Once a regular poster and more recently not, I thought I would pop back on the board to share the news of my pregnancy, a natural pregnancy at 43 at that something that was too long in the making and close to seeming impossible. I have been waiting to share the news until we were somewhat out of the woods and I believe is timely based on DeeinNYCs recent ask for success stories on the pregnancy board. Given my absence from the board in recent months, I will share the LONG and sordid details of what transpired for anyone who is interested.

After completing my 9th IVF last fall, I had pretty much lost faith in the process. I was a good responder (most cycles with 6-11 eggs that mostly matured/fertilized) despite my age (started cycling at 40) and FSH (FSH always tested at 11.2). And, I consistently produced blasts on each of my cycles. I was extremely hopeful of the process when I had an ectopic on my first IVF cycle and then re-found that hope with pregnancies on my 7th and 8th cycles, though they both ended up as missed miscarriages. And, while I adored my RE who had worked with me on cycles 1-8 and never mentioned odds/ success rates or gave up on me, I knew I needed to do something different before I could move on to other options. My 9th cycle was completed at Cornell under the care of Dr. Davis and was by all means my Hail Mary. While the cycle looked perfect on paper, the cycle was a bust. With that failure, I knew I was done with OE cycles.

My DH and I were on totally different pages with regards to next steps. I was gung-ho for Donor Egg and he was all for adoption assuming we had to do anything alternative at all. We were each headstrong in our own camps and it was going to take a lot of work to get either of us to back down on our positions. We attended seminars, talked to professionals, talked to folks who had BTDT, etc. And, we had a couple of conversations with my RE, who was wonderful in helping us look at things differently.

I had a saline sono done in December to confirm my uterine cavity was good-to-go for a DE cycle, as I was looking at shared risk and my uterine history was dodgy - abdominal myomectomy in 2007 to remove several fibroids and a questionable HSG in mid-2010. Fortunately, everything checked out ok with my uterus. The only issue was getting us on the same page, so I could start a mock cycle.

We somehow got somewhat on the same page in mid-February and I was all prepared to call my clinic on cd1 to begin my mock cycle, which should fall right around my 43rd birthday in early March. Everyone is probably thinking what? She missed her period and found out she was pregnant on her birthday. WRONG!
Ten days before my birthday, I got a call that my sisters scheduled hysterectomy for fast growing fibroids was actually a major surgery to remove stage iv uterine sarcoma a very rare and deadly form of cancer that primarily occurs in post-menopausal women in their 60s and 70s. My sister is in her mid-40s. She asked if I could come and help care for her, as she didnt think my mom could handle all of her needs. My mom is in her late 70s and my sister is divorced, so I was the obvious choice and was happy to go and help.

Obviously, all plans to start a mock cycle went out the window and I spent my 43rd birthday in an oncologists office learning that my sister would be lucky to make it a year with her diagnosis and chemotherapy. So, my focus became my sister and I have spent the better part of the past 6 months giving her support and helping care for her. It has been fulfilling, but unbelievably stressful given that my DH is 500+ miles away and I am still working fulltime. DH and I have spent more time apart than together and it has been hard on both of us.

Somehow in the midst of everything with my sister, DH finally came around to DE and was ready to get started. My sister became more stable in May and I was finally able to spend a little more time at home with DH. My AF in May was terrible and I thought oh no! Bad AF = fibroid encroachment, as all signs were there of my cycles pre-surgery. Yikes! All bets are off. I called my RE and he suggested another saline sono. The issue was when I could get the darn thing scheduled. So, the next cycle worked out that I was home in the cd5-10 window in early June, however my RE was on vacation. Gah! Given my history, I was unwilling to have another RE perform the test and decided to test fate for another cycle.

I was not tracking anything temps, OPKs, etc, however a few days later after calling my clinic I had a LARGE amount of EWCM something unusual for me at my age. I figured I would use an OPK the following day for the heck of it and was convinced I had already ovulated. I was surprised to see an almost positive on the OPK the next AM and told DH we needed to BD. To say he was not a willing participant is an understatement! He said why? It hasnt worked yet and I am ready to move on. Huh? Where had this man come from? It certainly wasnt my DH of months before. I asked again and promised this would be it. We wouldnt try after this month and would move on. He relented and said hed do it just that one time. The real positive on the OPK came the following day and I somehow got him to agree to try again.

I started spotting the day after our last BD and it continued for the better part of a week. I was annoyed and knew my lining was $#^& as a result, which made me feel our efforts really were for naught. The spotting stopped after a week and I was just waiting for AF to come.

The timing of my next AF corresponded to my visit home over the 4th of July, which meant I could get my saline sono done!!! My cycles had been a little unpredictable in terms of length, so I thought AF should be there around the 2nd. Every day I was anxiously anticipating a nice, red wipe, so I could make the appt. When we went boating on the 4th, I packed my tampons, as I KNEW AF would show up as soon as we got on the water. I was surprised when she didnt and was actually pissed, as I wanted to get on with things and get that saline sono done.

So, the next day I decided to do a pregnancy test for absolutely no other reason than to get my AF started. It had always worked before. POAS and then AF is there with the next wipe. Imagine my surprise when the second line showed up immediately and it was DARK. I was pregnant - iyiyi! I felt like the dog that caught the bus what next? I was so in denial that for two days I didnt tell DH or call my REs office for a beta.

For someone who only ever had low betas to start, I was floored when my 18dpo number was very strong. And, the 2 subsequent betas doubled appropriately. Woo hoo! All three u/s with my RE showed everything measuring on track and a strong heartbeat each time. It was a surreal experience to graduate from my REs office after almost 4 years under his care and everyone in the office was so emotional and supportive.
I remained in denial leading up to my first OB visit at a little over 10 weeks. Fortunately for me, my OB was able to find the heartbeat on Doppler very reassuring given the spotting I had over the 3-4 days leading up to the appt. And, he was even discussing who would do my mandatory c-section (he will, of course!), which will occur a day or two after my 44th birthday in early March, depending on scheduling.

We decided to do the NT scan and just got our results back. Our odds of a chromosomally normal baby were the best possible for my age, which is reassuring at this point and the main reason I am ready to share my news. Not sure if we will do amnio, but we still have time to decide.

I can honestly say that I was doing nothing special for this BFP. I started exercising like a fiend (bootcamp, running, personal training) in early April to deal with the stress from my sister and actually dropped some of the weight I picked up over the past 4 years of ttc. And, I was working out particularly hard in the luteal phase of my successful cycle. I started seeing a chiropractor, who is more of a healer than the average chiropractor, on an as-needed basis to correct my very out of alignment hips. I was consuming a fair amount of caffeine via Starbucks iced tea, but actually dialed it back right around implantation due to a bad encounter with an employee and nothing to do with my circumstances. I continued to drink tea after I ended my relationship with Starbucks, though in much weaker doses. I was taking Vitamin D3 and C supplements on top of prenatals, since D tested low previously and a little boost of C never hurts esp when vulnerable to illness. Other than that, all I can say is that I have been stressed out beyond belief for 5 months and have come to believe that everything happens on its own timeline. I would never have believed it possible for this wonderful thing to happen to me and I can honestly say it was completely out of my control!!!

I still have a long way to go before I feel like I can relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Maybe that will come when I can feel this little one kick/move around? The slight nausea and intense hunger seem like a total pain, but they are my reminder each day that something is going on inside of me! And, I have been very protective in sharing this news until now. I have selectively told very close friends who have been a part of my IF journey (including some wonderful IRL friends from these boards). I have also shared the news with my sister and my pregnancy is giving her strength and hope to make it until the baby is here. DH and I are sharing the news more broadly with our families today.

I can honestly say that I dont think this pregnancy would be possible had I never found this board. The advice and support has been invaluable and seen me through some very tough times. There are so many wonderful and amazing women on this board who have provided me with lots of love and support throughout this journey and I just want to say THANK YOU!!! I hope my story will give hope to others who are still ttc and my wish is that each of you will end up with the happiest of endings!!

XO

cbsgirl
Cbsgirl,

I've been wondering what you've been up do. What a story. I'm sorry to hear about your sister's illness, but what a beautiful surprise to find out you're pregnant during it all. Ok, so my favorite part (aside from the bfp) was that you brought tampons on a boat. HA! I may just carry tampons with me everywhere like they are my lucky charms;)

I'm rooting for you to have an easy and healthy delivery. Please keep us updated on your progress.

Maureen
Quote
Share

Anonymous
Anonymous

August 26th, 2011, 2:23 pm #9

Wow, your story is absolutely amazing, and I'm SOOOO happy for you. You've always been so helpful and responsive to everyone here; so glad to see this happen for you.

I'm so sorry about your sister. I'm sure she appreciates all you've done for her, and I hope that her prognosis ends up being a good one. You're a good sister. ((((Hugs.)))))

Again, congrats to you and DH! Looking forward to reading your updates on the PG board.

Hugs,
Meg
thanks for sharing!
Quote
Share

BabyDAnce
BabyDAnce

August 26th, 2011, 2:31 pm #10

Once a regular poster and more recently not, I thought I would pop back on the board to share the news of my pregnancy, a natural pregnancy at 43 at that something that was too long in the making and close to seeming impossible. I have been waiting to share the news until we were somewhat out of the woods and I believe is timely based on DeeinNYCs recent ask for success stories on the pregnancy board. Given my absence from the board in recent months, I will share the LONG and sordid details of what transpired for anyone who is interested.

After completing my 9th IVF last fall, I had pretty much lost faith in the process. I was a good responder (most cycles with 6-11 eggs that mostly matured/fertilized) despite my age (started cycling at 40) and FSH (FSH always tested at 11.2). And, I consistently produced blasts on each of my cycles. I was extremely hopeful of the process when I had an ectopic on my first IVF cycle and then re-found that hope with pregnancies on my 7th and 8th cycles, though they both ended up as missed miscarriages. And, while I adored my RE who had worked with me on cycles 1-8 and never mentioned odds/ success rates or gave up on me, I knew I needed to do something different before I could move on to other options. My 9th cycle was completed at Cornell under the care of Dr. Davis and was by all means my Hail Mary. While the cycle looked perfect on paper, the cycle was a bust. With that failure, I knew I was done with OE cycles.

My DH and I were on totally different pages with regards to next steps. I was gung-ho for Donor Egg and he was all for adoption assuming we had to do anything alternative at all. We were each headstrong in our own camps and it was going to take a lot of work to get either of us to back down on our positions. We attended seminars, talked to professionals, talked to folks who had BTDT, etc. And, we had a couple of conversations with my RE, who was wonderful in helping us look at things differently.

I had a saline sono done in December to confirm my uterine cavity was good-to-go for a DE cycle, as I was looking at shared risk and my uterine history was dodgy - abdominal myomectomy in 2007 to remove several fibroids and a questionable HSG in mid-2010. Fortunately, everything checked out ok with my uterus. The only issue was getting us on the same page, so I could start a mock cycle.

We somehow got somewhat on the same page in mid-February and I was all prepared to call my clinic on cd1 to begin my mock cycle, which should fall right around my 43rd birthday in early March. Everyone is probably thinking what? She missed her period and found out she was pregnant on her birthday. WRONG!
Ten days before my birthday, I got a call that my sisters scheduled hysterectomy for fast growing fibroids was actually a major surgery to remove stage iv uterine sarcoma a very rare and deadly form of cancer that primarily occurs in post-menopausal women in their 60s and 70s. My sister is in her mid-40s. She asked if I could come and help care for her, as she didnt think my mom could handle all of her needs. My mom is in her late 70s and my sister is divorced, so I was the obvious choice and was happy to go and help.

Obviously, all plans to start a mock cycle went out the window and I spent my 43rd birthday in an oncologists office learning that my sister would be lucky to make it a year with her diagnosis and chemotherapy. So, my focus became my sister and I have spent the better part of the past 6 months giving her support and helping care for her. It has been fulfilling, but unbelievably stressful given that my DH is 500+ miles away and I am still working fulltime. DH and I have spent more time apart than together and it has been hard on both of us.

Somehow in the midst of everything with my sister, DH finally came around to DE and was ready to get started. My sister became more stable in May and I was finally able to spend a little more time at home with DH. My AF in May was terrible and I thought oh no! Bad AF = fibroid encroachment, as all signs were there of my cycles pre-surgery. Yikes! All bets are off. I called my RE and he suggested another saline sono. The issue was when I could get the darn thing scheduled. So, the next cycle worked out that I was home in the cd5-10 window in early June, however my RE was on vacation. Gah! Given my history, I was unwilling to have another RE perform the test and decided to test fate for another cycle.

I was not tracking anything temps, OPKs, etc, however a few days later after calling my clinic I had a LARGE amount of EWCM something unusual for me at my age. I figured I would use an OPK the following day for the heck of it and was convinced I had already ovulated. I was surprised to see an almost positive on the OPK the next AM and told DH we needed to BD. To say he was not a willing participant is an understatement! He said why? It hasnt worked yet and I am ready to move on. Huh? Where had this man come from? It certainly wasnt my DH of months before. I asked again and promised this would be it. We wouldnt try after this month and would move on. He relented and said hed do it just that one time. The real positive on the OPK came the following day and I somehow got him to agree to try again.

I started spotting the day after our last BD and it continued for the better part of a week. I was annoyed and knew my lining was $#^& as a result, which made me feel our efforts really were for naught. The spotting stopped after a week and I was just waiting for AF to come.

The timing of my next AF corresponded to my visit home over the 4th of July, which meant I could get my saline sono done!!! My cycles had been a little unpredictable in terms of length, so I thought AF should be there around the 2nd. Every day I was anxiously anticipating a nice, red wipe, so I could make the appt. When we went boating on the 4th, I packed my tampons, as I KNEW AF would show up as soon as we got on the water. I was surprised when she didnt and was actually pissed, as I wanted to get on with things and get that saline sono done.

So, the next day I decided to do a pregnancy test for absolutely no other reason than to get my AF started. It had always worked before. POAS and then AF is there with the next wipe. Imagine my surprise when the second line showed up immediately and it was DARK. I was pregnant - iyiyi! I felt like the dog that caught the bus what next? I was so in denial that for two days I didnt tell DH or call my REs office for a beta.

For someone who only ever had low betas to start, I was floored when my 18dpo number was very strong. And, the 2 subsequent betas doubled appropriately. Woo hoo! All three u/s with my RE showed everything measuring on track and a strong heartbeat each time. It was a surreal experience to graduate from my REs office after almost 4 years under his care and everyone in the office was so emotional and supportive.
I remained in denial leading up to my first OB visit at a little over 10 weeks. Fortunately for me, my OB was able to find the heartbeat on Doppler very reassuring given the spotting I had over the 3-4 days leading up to the appt. And, he was even discussing who would do my mandatory c-section (he will, of course!), which will occur a day or two after my 44th birthday in early March, depending on scheduling.

We decided to do the NT scan and just got our results back. Our odds of a chromosomally normal baby were the best possible for my age, which is reassuring at this point and the main reason I am ready to share my news. Not sure if we will do amnio, but we still have time to decide.

I can honestly say that I was doing nothing special for this BFP. I started exercising like a fiend (bootcamp, running, personal training) in early April to deal with the stress from my sister and actually dropped some of the weight I picked up over the past 4 years of ttc. And, I was working out particularly hard in the luteal phase of my successful cycle. I started seeing a chiropractor, who is more of a healer than the average chiropractor, on an as-needed basis to correct my very out of alignment hips. I was consuming a fair amount of caffeine via Starbucks iced tea, but actually dialed it back right around implantation due to a bad encounter with an employee and nothing to do with my circumstances. I continued to drink tea after I ended my relationship with Starbucks, though in much weaker doses. I was taking Vitamin D3 and C supplements on top of prenatals, since D tested low previously and a little boost of C never hurts esp when vulnerable to illness. Other than that, all I can say is that I have been stressed out beyond belief for 5 months and have come to believe that everything happens on its own timeline. I would never have believed it possible for this wonderful thing to happen to me and I can honestly say it was completely out of my control!!!

I still have a long way to go before I feel like I can relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Maybe that will come when I can feel this little one kick/move around? The slight nausea and intense hunger seem like a total pain, but they are my reminder each day that something is going on inside of me! And, I have been very protective in sharing this news until now. I have selectively told very close friends who have been a part of my IF journey (including some wonderful IRL friends from these boards). I have also shared the news with my sister and my pregnancy is giving her strength and hope to make it until the baby is here. DH and I are sharing the news more broadly with our families today.

I can honestly say that I dont think this pregnancy would be possible had I never found this board. The advice and support has been invaluable and seen me through some very tough times. There are so many wonderful and amazing women on this board who have provided me with lots of love and support throughout this journey and I just want to say THANK YOU!!! I hope my story will give hope to others who are still ttc and my wish is that each of you will end up with the happiest of endings!!

XO

cbsgirl
I am a chiroractor, and it is undervalued, the importance of hip alignment in TTC! Wonderful news!!!
Quote
Share


Confirmation of reply: