Pos OPK tonight... but with my numbers..

Pos OPK tonight... but with my numbers..

BabyDance
BabyDance

August 30th, 2011, 1:47 am #1

I have serious doubt if it's accurate. I wish I used the CBEFM, but I just can't get the darn thing to work for me (waste of 200 bucks). Frustrated... had O pains today and some CM today...thinking I will O in the next few days. Just don't know if I can trust the sticks now that my numbers are so bad...
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Joined: April 19th, 2004, 2:36 am

August 30th, 2011, 7:06 pm #2

Just curious why you think it isn't accurate.
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BabyDance
BabyDance

August 30th, 2011, 7:38 pm #3

Only had day 3 this month, but LH was already 6.9. Nt.
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Anonymous
Anonymous

August 30th, 2011, 7:59 pm #4

I have serious doubt if it's accurate. I wish I used the CBEFM, but I just can't get the darn thing to work for me (waste of 200 bucks). Frustrated... had O pains today and some CM today...thinking I will O in the next few days. Just don't know if I can trust the sticks now that my numbers are so bad...
Or just trying to track your cycle? I think the fertility monitor would help greatly IMHO, those OPK sticks turn positive when LH hits 20 or so, and that happens early for those with high FSH. At least the monitor would give you feedback on other hormone levels too.
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BabyDance
BabyDance

August 30th, 2011, 8:21 pm #5

Having untimed IC with DP that I ended up timing! Even if LH is raised because of hormone imbalance, wouldn't that make you ovulate anyway, if the stick turns? You know what I mean?
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Joined: April 19th, 2004, 2:36 am

August 30th, 2011, 8:29 pm #6

Only had day 3 this month, but LH was already 6.9. Nt.
If your OPK is nearly as dark as the control line, then it should be a true surge. 6.9 isn't that bad at CD3 (at least in my opinion). I've had my best cycles with LH around 6 to 7.
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BabyDance
BabyDance

August 31st, 2011, 12:44 am #7

Thanks Karen. I hope you are well. nt.
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Joined: April 19th, 2004, 2:36 am

August 31st, 2011, 5:02 pm #8

I'm very depressed still. I can't seem to move forward, even though I'm trying to focus on finishing the house. I don't know how to get past all my bitterness over the events of the past few years that prevented me from a chance to conceive before it was too late. But I guess I have to get over it somehow.
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BabyDance
BabyDance

August 31st, 2011, 6:02 pm #9

I know you are feeling this way, I'm so sorry. I guess in some ways, it's where I am at as well. On my mind every second of every day, what I"m going to do and how I"m going to get through this. I know for me, I'm starting to try to wrap my head around adoption, and one day recently, I started to seem to get ok with it, then the next day, it went away. I do think moving forward with alternatives will put it all behind us. I personally have trouble with moving forward with anything because it's really on my own - DP, which you know has been very rocky, is just not on board with any alternatives.. how does yours feel about it? I hope you don't mind me asking.. if you don't want to talk about it, I certainly understand. It's such a personal decision. Just know you are in my thoughts, and I am here to listen. I know you are trying to stay away form the boards, I'm sorry I asked for you personally in my post the other day, I was in a panic. Dr. T says he's had people my age get success with IVF, not IUI, but I didn't push him about the FSH. I"m having serious doubts that he's gotten anyone pregnant through IVF over 40 with FSH 27 or higher.. I'm going to ask next week when I go in, but my numbers are getting out of wack. If you do acu, does it help your numbers?? Big Hugs, I certainly understand your feelings.. it's just so horrible. xoxoxoxo BD
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Joined: April 19th, 2004, 2:36 am

August 31st, 2011, 7:47 pm #10

Don't apologize for asking for me in your post. Despite my intent to stay away, I keep feeling drawn back. I I guess I'm still just wrestling with knowing I'll have to move on somehow. These boards have been such a huge part of my life the past few years. I feel such a strong desire to help answer questions that I don't know if I'll ever completely go away, even when I move on.

I wish I could move forward with an alternative plan, but I'm struggling with that so much, too. My DH wanted to do DE, but I am morally opposed to it, so I just don't think I can ever do that option. I feel a lot of guilt over that, but it is something that I don't think I can ever overcome. I tried to take my DH's desires into consideration and look at profiles of egg donors, but it gave me terrible nightmares. I'm on a donor embryo waiting list, but I'm wrestling with that option, too. It seems like I can get excited over a profile, but then my DH doesn't seem that enthused with the profiles I am interested in. And many of the donated embryos were created with donor eggs. So, then I wrestle with thinking that if I'm going to use DE, then why not pick the donor myself and use DH's sperm. But I can't do that. So, I go in circles.

I was originally open to adoption, but now I honestly feel so bitter that I'd have to jump through hoops and be "approved" to adopt that I don't feel like doing it. I know in my head that it is a logical requirement, but I get angry that I wouldn't have to be "approved" to parent if I got pregnant. The donor embryos would allow me to control the prenatal environment and I wouldn't have to go through the adoption process with that. But I worry about what to tell people. I think it would freak my mom out, but I don't think I could keep that secret from my sister. So, there is a whole host of issues involved there as well. I get excited waiting for the profile lists to come, but then I get sad that none of them seem like a perfect match.

And to be honest, it may sound terrible, but I'm feeling bitterness at my DH for moving his mother in with us and essentially ruining our last chances at a bio baby. I had sacrificed many work opportunities in order to be available to travel to Cooper because he wanted to do that. And then he moved his mom in with us and that pretty much ended things for me. I spent a year and a half hearing from her almost every single day how awful it was to get old. I worked my butt off trying to put weight on her and managed to get her weight up. And she was well enough to go back to her own house, but then she stopped eating enough again. So, she ended up back with us. And she pretty much starved herself to death in the end after all that. It was pretty traumatic to watch. The doctors kept telling and telling her that she needed to eat. I'm pretty angry at her still for messing up that precious time for me. I know I sound like an awful person to say that, but I can't get those feelings out of my heart. She just left me feeling so old and depressed.

So, I can't stop dwelling on the events that screwed thing up for me. I think if I could move past my anger and bitterness, I could make a decision on what to do. If it hadn't been for all of the external events of the past five years affecting my outcome, I could have moved forward, even though I'd be grieving the loss of a bio baby. But the bitterness and anger just won't seem to let me do that.

Sorry to be such a downer. But honestly I'm sitting here crying and maybe I needed to get some of those feeling unleashed.
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