Please read-Can't cope guys...

Please read-Can't cope guys...

Joined: January 27th, 2015, 5:04 pm

April 12th, 2018, 4:09 pm #1

I know I have hit many low points during this 3 year old journey but now I am at the worst place possible. I can't cope guys. I am sorry for being so open and I hope I am not stressing out anyone..

As you may remember in February I went on BCP to lower FSH and LH which were high at baseline. When they started to come down, a follicle grew and I did ovulate. However I was told to stay on BCP for more days and as a result i became oversuppressed( all hormones, fsh, lh, e2 were 0). In March we reduced the dose of bcp to half so that FSH and LH will rebound and they did-but nothing grew. In April we stopped bcp completely and nothing is growing. E2 keeps being undetectable.

Before this happened I used to ovulate regularly even with SKY high fsh and lh. To make it all worse I am hurting-my joints are killing me, my soul is hurting!

Anyone have this happened to them? Anyone recover from E2 zero? What on earth happened? Why am i not growing anything even though fsh and lh have rebounded..Is this the dreaded menopause? I am just 42..


Please help!!!


PS-anonymous I know you will have a party with this post. I won't answer you so don't bother posting.



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Joined: June 10th, 2014, 6:19 pm

April 12th, 2018, 5:50 pm #2

Dear Joy, I did have E2 < 5 multiple times, and recovered from it. Also, you ovulated in February, so less than 2 months before. So I would keep faith.

At the same time, in the end we all know that things only go downhill. So at that point, we just have to draw a line and transfer what we have, and hope for the best. You gathered eggs while still relatively young (i.e. very early forties), and I think the likelihood of having some good ones should be very high.

Sorry I cannot help more... I think the only possibly approach now is to continue waiting. From my experience, the end is near once ovulation becomes very rare - like 3 times a year or so. At least for me, this slope going down was very gentle.
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Joined: January 27th, 2015, 5:04 pm

April 12th, 2018, 6:18 pm #3

I know I have hit many low points during this 3 year old journey but now I am at the worst place possible. I can't cope guys. I am sorry for being so open and I hope I am not stressing out anyone..

As you may remember in February I went on BCP to lower FSH and LH which were high at baseline. When they started to come down, a follicle grew and I did ovulate. However I was told to stay on BCP for more days and as a result i became oversuppressed( all hormones, fsh, lh, e2 were 0). In March we reduced the dose of bcp to half so that FSH and LH will rebound and they did-but nothing grew. In April we stopped bcp completely and nothing is growing. E2 keeps being undetectable.

Before this happened I used to ovulate regularly even with SKY high fsh and lh. To make it all worse I am hurting-my joints are killing me, my soul is hurting!

Anyone have this happened to them? Anyone recover from E2 zero? What on earth happened? Why am i not growing anything even though fsh and lh have rebounded..Is this the dreaded menopause? I am just 42..


Please help!!!


PS-anonymous I know you will have a party with this post. I won't answer you so don't bother posting.


Dear Alma, thank you so much for responding!

I admit i am very scared so hearing from you has helped a lot! Thank you!

May I please please ask 3 short questions?
a) how did you recover those times when E2<5? Did NH allow your hormones to go really up at baseline for stimulation or did they give you bcp?( my e2 was <5 with low hormones, I am afraid that when they go really high up eg 40's that will lead to another shut down creating a vicious circle)

b) Did you continue to monitor every week even when your ovulation became more rare?

c) Alma did you go on HRT at some point? I have horrible symptoms and a problem saying goodbye to my period at 42 so i want to go on HRT but on the other hand i am afraid the adenomyosis and fibroids won't like it.


Thank you so very much for responding during this very scary time for me! It's good to know I am not alone!
Thank you!
xx
Joy

PS my dr is not optimistic about the eggs because they were all created under a premature LH surge which was stopped with ganirelix. Experience has shown us that embryos we got that way were not good at least in my case. Also huge doses of stimulation were used.


Last edited by joy39 on April 12th, 2018, 6:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: June 10th, 2014, 6:19 pm

April 12th, 2018, 7:01 pm #4

Dear Joy, I kept monitoring until I got 45, when I thought the egg quality would be too poor anyway. I was amazed that NH was so patient with me, sometimes waiting for several months until an egg retrieval. I think you should keep monitoring. When my period became erratic, I started having joint pain and lots of allergies (coincidence or not).

I went on HRT only when I started trying to transfer.I think my subserous fundal fibroid (the one I had removed) did grow bigger because of HRT. Also, I got 2 additional fibroids - now I wonder if these were actually the ones the doctor saw last month. Now the question is how much estradiol you take. HRT also made me gain weight. And a high dose makes me extremely sleepy.

Are you doing only natural cycle now? I would definitely not use stims.
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Joined: January 27th, 2015, 5:04 pm

April 12th, 2018, 8:09 pm #5

I know I have hit many low points during this 3 year old journey but now I am at the worst place possible. I can't cope guys. I am sorry for being so open and I hope I am not stressing out anyone..

As you may remember in February I went on BCP to lower FSH and LH which were high at baseline. When they started to come down, a follicle grew and I did ovulate. However I was told to stay on BCP for more days and as a result i became oversuppressed( all hormones, fsh, lh, e2 were 0). In March we reduced the dose of bcp to half so that FSH and LH will rebound and they did-but nothing grew. In April we stopped bcp completely and nothing is growing. E2 keeps being undetectable.

Before this happened I used to ovulate regularly even with SKY high fsh and lh. To make it all worse I am hurting-my joints are killing me, my soul is hurting!

Anyone have this happened to them? Anyone recover from E2 zero? What on earth happened? Why am i not growing anything even though fsh and lh have rebounded..Is this the dreaded menopause? I am just 42..


Please help!!!


PS-anonymous I know you will have a party with this post. I won't answer you so don't bother posting.


Hello dear Alma,
Thanks for getting back to me!

I am doing only natural cycles now however the dr gives me 2-3 follistim injections especially when the ganirelix starts. But definitely no more than that.

Now if only a follicle grows... I am so sick and tired of e2 being <5 for a month now. Was your E2 that low for so many days? And did NH allow your hormones to shoot up or give you BCP when e2 was that low?


My fibroid is 8cm now!! It actually has necrosis-can't get enough blood so part of it is already degenerating.
But I am not worried about it right now...Will have it removed for sure at some point too.


Thank you Alma!!! I really appreciate your help!!!!!
xx
Joy



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Joined: June 10th, 2014, 6:19 pm

April 13th, 2018, 6:34 pm #6

Dear Joy, yes, I did have E2 that low for many days. I think in this case the FSH should be kept ideally in the 20s - 30s, and you should keep monitoring. This is from my own experience. Do you have any antrals?

Yes, I think the fibroid should be removed before transfer...





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Joined: January 27th, 2015, 5:04 pm

April 13th, 2018, 8:00 pm #7

Alma thank you so very much!
This is an exceptionally hard time for me so hearing from you helps a lot!
Also talking to you puts sense into things.


I guess what I am trying to understand is this:

a) Did you ever become oversuppressed from BCP( all hormones zero) and then your E2 wouldn't rise despite the FSH rising and rebounding( eg coming off the bcp)?

b) When you say FSH should be kept in the 30's do you mean that if fsh goes above that eg 50's we should go back to bcp and try and maintain it in the 30's?

c) Last scan was on Monday. There was a 7.4mm antral on the left ovary and a 4cm cyst on the right ovary. My RE thinks the cyst may be the reason the follicles are not growing. My ob-gyn says the cyst doesn't affect anything since it is not e2 producing.


In fact my RE doesn't think I am oversuppressed. He things that since my FSH has rebounded my ovaries should have grown something. He seems to think like something else is wrong eg the cyst or my ovaries just have no eggs to give. My gut says that since I was ovulating before, the bcp had something to do with all this situation-i just hope and pray this is not menopause.

Once i shut down too from fsh being in the 50s. I did not take anything to get it down. FSH went to 80, LH to 100 and then i grew a follicle!!! Go figure-it was one year ago. We couldn't catch it of course given that my hormones were a mess but at least i grew something.

I don't know. I am struggling to make sense of what happenened...Please bear with me Alma. I promise I won't keep asking. I am just gutted and confused.
Thank you!
XX
Joy
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Joined: June 10th, 2014, 6:19 pm

April 13th, 2018, 9:09 pm #8

Dear Joy, trying to respond -

a) I never noticed any suppression from BCP. The only time all my hormones were 0 from BCP was before I started with NH, and I rebounded very quickly. I am not sure how low your FSH got now - I noticed no problems after single digit FSH.

I think when my E2 didn't rise it was just because my ovaries were having a harder time producing follicles, and this would have happened anyway. I think other opinions might exist, but I don't blame the BCPs.

b) Yes, I think FSH in the 50s doesn't help - you enter a menopausal state, and nothing grows. I have a slight doubt that this state could still trigger the creation of antrals later somehow, but NH always gave me BCPs (probably 2 in this situation) to bring the FSH down. I would bring the FSH down to the 30s.

c) It is good there is something on the ovaries. I think they just aren't able to produce good follicles at this moment. I am not sure what is best to do in this situation - possibly still BCP? I am not sure, and don't want to say something wrong. I think your FSH must have increased now that E2 isn't growing. I never grew a good follicle in this situation - I always eliminated such cysts first (the 7.4 mm one is also a cyst, since there is no E2).

As I mentioned before, I noticed no problems with BCP. But a NH nurse once told me that BCP administered at the wrong time in the cycle could produce cysts. What I noticed however is that I was growing more cysts as my reserve was going down, so I believe this to be a rather natural process. However, I still managed to produce some follicles - just needed to keep the monitoring.

Hope this helps a bit... I know how hard it is, since I've been thru this several times - you never know what is next... As long as there is something on the ovaries, I think it is good sign.
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Joined: June 10th, 2014, 6:19 pm

April 13th, 2018, 9:14 pm #9

Thinking you might actually want to bring the FSH to low levels now that you have these cysts... I am not sure...I think keeping it to a relatively high level (30s) is true if you don't have cysts, I am not sure in this situation.
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Joined: January 27th, 2015, 5:04 pm

April 14th, 2018, 5:36 pm #10

Hi dear Alma!
Thank you so very very much for taking the time to respond with your thoughts.I find I don't have enough words to thank you!!! As you know I am doing this all alone and I have very severe DOR. So it gets very confusing and very scary at times. And I think I have hit the absolute worse. Having someone listen and offer their thoughts has helped me so much.. So thank you for your kindness and compassion..


When you say:
"I never grew a good follicle in this situation - I always eliminated such cysts first (the 7.4 mm one is also a cyst, since there is no E2)."

Do you mean that you noticed cysts affecting the quality of the follicle negatively? Did they at least allow it to grow? And how did you get rid of the cysts?

And lastly( i promise):
When you say that taking BCP to lower fsh may be better now since I have cysts-how can BCP help with cysts?


I have decided to let FSH juts go really up. If in the past I grew follicles with fsh in the 60's, maybe what i need is more stimulation. I think I will try it this way for now. All I hope and pray( hard) that this is not the end of my journey.

Again thank you with all my heart! I never met you Alma, but i feel i have a good friend on here..
Wishing you all the very best!!! I hope everything runs smoothly in your attempts from now on and that you get your success soon!!!

Hugs,
xx
Joy






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