Precious Little Things

Big wheels keep on turning, carry me home to see my kin. Singing songs about the Southland. I miss Alabamy once again and I think it's a sin.

South Atlantic: Delaware, Maryland, District of Columbia, Virginia, West Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida
East South Central: Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama
West South Central: Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana


Joined: Mar 12 2011, 05:24 PM

Jun 25 2015, 04:59 AM #46

Dean’s idea for a good place to get drunk seemed to track with hers; somewhere out of town, of course, but not finding another town. He picked a place off the highway, somewhere in the Kentucky backwoods. That suited Jo just fine. There were times, after a hunt, when you just wanted to immerse yourself in noise and people, and times when you sought out some quiet peacefulness. This was one of those times.

Dean had picked a really nice spot. It was in the middle of nowhere, with a spectacular moonlight view. While he grabbed the blanket for them to sit on, Jo rooted around for the bottle of scotch they’d bought a while back. Neither of them had one the bet, so they’d agreed to hang onto the bottle until they found a reason to share it. Tonight felt like it definitely qualified as a reason.

Jo joined Dean on the hood of the Impala, scooting back on the blanket until she could lean against the windshield next to him. “I’ll drink to that,” she agreed, cracking the seal on the bottle and twisting the cap off. They didn’t have cups, so Jo held the open bottle of scotch out to Dean first. He’d taken the beating, so he could have the honors.

Jo shifted against the windshield, getting comfortable. Reclining like this was actually a perfect way to take in the beautiful view, like they were the audience for the best cosmic show around. And even though she and Dean were out here drinking together in the quiet, Jo didn’t feel the pressure to fill it. They could talk, or not, and she wouldn’t feel weird about it. More importantly, she felt like she could actually talk to him about how she felt about the case, unlike some of the hunters she partnered on one off cases with.

“It’s harder when it’s kids,” Jo said softly, accepting the bottle back and taking a drink. Hey, Dean had been right; this was pretty good booze. “They need you more, you know? Of course you know. You were really great at it.” The blonde offered the bottle back.
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Joined: Mar 18 2011, 04:29 AM

Jul 9 2015, 05:06 PM #47

A hell of a case. Dean swigged his sip of the booze and handed it to Jo. The silence of the night made it easy to hear Jo’s soft voice. Grateful for the darkness that surrounded them, Dean ducked his head as his cheeks flushed. Of course Jo noticed. Taking the bottle back and sipping it, Dean searched for something to say, and then realized the easiest response.

“Thanks,” Dean said, gruffly. “You weren’t so bad yourself. First time with a baby? Not that it showed,” he hastened to reassure, “just wondering.” He let himself slip back into the memory of Jo holding the baby. A smile crossed his face. Yeah, he was going to cherish that for the rest of his life.

In this moment, though, sitting on the hood of his car with the girl that got away, looking up at the cosmos, he could see the rest of his life stretching on forever if he could hold on to that memory. Which, he supposed he could if he ever got around to going to heaven. Huh. He needed more booze, because that knowledge never failed to utterly creep him out.

Taking another sip of the bottle, he tightened his lips and resolved to behave a little more manly to compensate. Looking at Jo, though, he realized it was probably too late. Or maybe Jo had different definitions of what constitutes manly. Maybe she wouldn’t spread the story around, but with a friend like Parker, Dean thought he was definitely going to be a victim of their girl talks. So maybe he wouldn’t mention how much he liked seeing Jo holding a baby.

While that merited another big sip of the booze, he realized he ought to slow it down. They had all night. They probably weren’t checking into another motel this night, not unless it was the really skeevy kind that they definitely didn’t want to be sleeping in anyway. Passing the bottle back to Jo, he realized again how often he looked at her, especially when she wasn’t looking. He didn't think he could stop, nor did he want to stop looking at her.
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Joined: Mar 12 2011, 05:24 PM

Jul 20 2015, 05:43 AM #48

She’d embarrassed Dean by noticing his skill with the baby. That made her grin up into the darkness, but only when he wasn’t looking. Hey, Jo wasn’t going to give him a ton of crap for a skill that probably saved their sanity today. Maybe a little because he seemed embarrassed by it for some reason, but only in private. He’d had her back in there tonight, and was probably the only reason she wasn’t sitting here as bruised up and knocked around as he was, so she could be discreet about Dean’s paternal side.

Parker, on the other hand. Parker would probably tell everyone they knew. On the other hand, you couldn’t believe half of what she said sometimes, so who knew.

Jo laughed self-deprecatingly. “That obvious, huh?” she asked, tucking one of her arms behind her head to rest on. “Yeah. My life hasn’t exactly provided a lot of opportunitiesfor that kind of thing. No Sam of my own.” Jo’s voice didn’t sound like she was either saddened or relieved by that. It was what it was, and she’d always tried to not get too tied up in what-might-have-beens. She glanced over at Dean’s moonlit profile, noticing an odd smile. “That’s where you picked it up, right? Taking care of your brother when you were kids?”

She accepted the bottle back for a drink, then resumed her peaceful perusal of the field of stars above them. Jo held the bottle loosely between them so Dean could take back possession if he wanted, her fingers occasionally tapping without rhythm on the glass.

“You ever think about it?” she asked after a few quiet moments of reflection. “Having kids yourself, I mean,” Jo clarified, looking back over at Dean. He’d told her once that he wished he could do something else - of course, he’d been saying that while trying to convince her not to, so, grain of salt - and she was curious if that was what he saw himself doing. Jo could see it; Dean with a bunch of kids. He had a knack for it, after all. But being good at something didn’t mean you wanted to settle down with it for the rest of your life, and Jo was curious.
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Joined: Mar 18 2011, 04:29 AM

Sep 2 2015, 09:38 PM #49

Dean nodded as Jo correctly guessed where his parenting skills had arisen. He had many occasion with Sam to learn how to be parental. After Mary’s death, John hadn’t been much use in his grief, so Dean shouldered some of the load. Picked up a few tricks, never quite forgot them.

The night seemed to be one for quiet reflection and probing revelations. The darkness and the hard liquor probably didn’t help keep it away.

“I do think about it. More than I should,” Dean confessed in a rare show of honesty about something so personal. He wasn’t going to lie to himself or Jo. Not about this. He had no reason to lie. “I would love to settle down to that life.” He was silent for a moment longer, thinking about it. He would love to settle down to the life of having a love, and kids, but. There was always a but. There would always be a but. He couldn’t reconcile the world he lived in, the world in which he fought monsters and demons, where angels were dicks and God had checked out, all of that with bringing innocent lives into the world where if anything bad happened to them, he’d be devastated. He just couldn’t put it together.

It was easy when they were babies. He could take care of them. The problem lay in their independence when they got older. He had gotten a taste of it with Ben, and he had basically turned into his father. Only a mind for the dangers of going beyond the safety of salt lines and shot guns loaded with rock salt.

“I want to,” he said, with feeling, “but look at our parents. Look at us. Look at Gordon Walker, at Rufus, at Bobby. That’s not even taking into account all the monsters in the world. I don’t really have words for this, Jo.” His fingers reached out for the bottle, but what he really wanted was to reach for Jo. He took a healthy swallow of the liquor, and smiled bitterly, talking through the burn in his mouth. “Sorry, it’s a strong subject for me. Don’t mean to be a downer.”
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Joined: Mar 12 2011, 05:24 PM

Sep 3 2015, 04:18 AM #50

Jo was mildly surprised Dean answered, especially honestly. Didn’t he have a rule about chick flick moments? Still, Jo appreciated that he was taking her question seriously. She’d certainly meant it seriously. It was dark, so she could really only see him in shadow, but she watched him nonetheless. With him staring at the sky like it held all the answers, she could feel free to observe him without being observed herself, which was it’s own kind of freedom.

Jo let him think rather than interrupt the long silences between thoughts, wanting to know where those deep thoughts lead. It didn’t surprise her at all that he had thought about it, that he might even want it. Dean was that kind of guy; the one that looked out for everyone. You could call it being a good big brother. But you could also call it being a good dad.

The blond nodded solemnly when he got to the ‘but.’ These things she also understood. When he reached for the bottle, she handed it over easily, her hand brushing his in the trade off. “No, it’s okay,” she said when he apologized. “I mean, how do you balance what we do with that kind of life? Do you just try and forget what you know and be normal? Do you commit your family, your kids, to that same life? Or do you try to split the difference?” Mary, John, Bill… none of them were here now to answer those questions. Which might be an answer itself. Maybe there wasn’t a way to be a hunter and a parent.

Jo sighed and leaned back against the windshield. He didn’t ask her opinion, but she felt like telling him anyway. It was an honesty hour kind of night. Jo reached for the bottle back and took a sip. “You know, my whole life… I’ve only wanted one thing for myself. To be a hunter, like my dad. Everything else was just a means to get here. It never occurred to me to want anything else. Or what might happen if some day I did.” Her thumb circled the rim of the bottle idly, then she took another drink and handed it back to Dean.

“I don’t want to screw up kids they way either of our parents screwed us up,” she finally confided to him. “How do bring something as beautiful as that little girl into this world and then just… let her turn into someone like us?” Jo shook her head, looking away from Dean so she could surreptitiously swipe at the moisture building in the corner of her eye.
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