Mother fucking piece of shi-
oh wait we're starting?
Hey there viewers! Welcome to the Season 3 Finale!
I'll save the speeches for now. We've got a lot of shit to get through!
So without further ado...
I am made o-o-o-o-of lo-o-o-o-ove
- [+] Replies
@wedward45 - ...Okay I'm going to need you to provide an alibi for where I was Thursday
@Rapunzel - I bet he got it out of pity. Because he's so pathetic.
I would have preferred to ride a Pokemon everywhere instead of those annoying Roller skates...
I like to imagine there's a Weaboo farmer somewhere who can't get any anime easily so he ships his cows to pass the time...
The Fucked-Up Forest. No students allowed.
The kid just can't stop her fail train.
He's. A. Dick.
@shogun64 - So I'd just take selfies of myself reading while playing the game?
Shame I can't read. Or write. I have no idea what I'm actually typing to you.
@wedward45 - Well you should have made multiple accounts and saved me from Snakewood.
It's allllll your fault now.
@poopwaman- Sorry bud. But that was literally the only suggestion for StormSilver.
I'll keep it in mind for the future though.
Radomus = Worst character ever.
@Pillowcase - Well...something rabbit-like...if you squint...
I see EVERYTHING!
@DerogatoryTrainer - Man, You're a dick.
Reborn Website :
@Gaunt - I am a true thespian.
Yep. I'll probably do an origin story someday...
@webobo - I don't know if it's worse tbh...It's stronger...but so am I.
@Drymus - OH GOD WHY HAVEN'T WE GONE TO CHURCH IN...
@Dragon116 - Don't even joke about Shelly being with Team Meteor. I will flip.
Me? Insane? YES.
@Foamy - Oh man that's an old joke...I forgot about it until now...
Well I survived the fall anyway.
Can I trade him for a better one?
One with perfect IVs?
Eurgh...more chess nonsense...
So where am I exactly?
That's a unusually weak Sandshrew this far in the game...
Wait I recognize that path...
That's the one that led to Victoria being held hostage by Aster and Eclipse right?
And that ruin entrance that Solaris droned on about...
I suppose it makes sense. I did go under the gate and that's near the stairs right?
Now what the hell is this black wall thing?
It's the other side of that entrance thing Solaris talked about...
I'm on the other side of one of those creepy doors...
I am getting a bad feeling about this...
Detective Dipshit must have gone through here...
Wherever here is!
Looks like a shrine...
Ooooooooooooohhhh that bad feeling is getting worse...
The fuck is a "Xanadu?"
And who the fuck are you?
"What I did"?
I haven't done anything!
Oh is that all?
Well you see we've be-
I know I'm saying "what" a lot so far...
But seriously what?
There wasn't any hint of that earlier!
Want to tip your fedora too pal?
So Radomus has been mistreating Gardevoir?
He seemed very tolerant...indulgent even, of her..."personality" earlier...
Don't you have a T.V career?
I can't imagine you getting that without Radomus suggesting/allowing it...
And there wouldn't be anything of benefit for him to do so...he's only draw attention to the Pokemon he's allegedly been abusing...
...Well that seals it then...
YOU'RE NOT THE REAL GARDEVOIR!
NO ONE WOULD EVER SAY THAT ABOUT EL!
HE'S A FUCKING CREEP!
Such a sweet Pokemon saying all those hurtful things so easily...
So what are you?
A Zorua in disguise?
Those this dope think he's in an anime or something?
Or does he just have a thing for Gardevoirs?
Sean doesn't know so can you fuck off and get me a strong drink...I'll need it to get through this shite...
I have no idea mate.
I'm a blight on humanity in general but I ain't no thief.
The fuck was THAT?
She just walks up and takes it out of my fucking hands?
I could have EASILY STOPPED IT!
HER FUCKING WRISTS ARE THE WIDTH OF MY FUCKING FINGERS HOW DID SHE TAKE IT???
OH BUT CAIN HAS NO PROBLEM GETTING HER TO BACK OFF THEN?
WONDERFUL! STUPENDOUS! FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!
THE RING IS MINE YOU UGLY WHORE!
Well technically it's Heather's ring...
BUT FUCK HER! IT'S MINE!
CONSIDER IT DOWN-PAYMENT ON HOW WELL I'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF HER!
YOU WANNA TRY FOR THE RING AS WELL BITCH?
I WARN YOU I'M VERY VOLATILE RIGHT NOW!
"Seldom r-relinquish things tha-that easily?"
Did he seriously fucking say that to me just now?
I'm going to hurt you Adrienn.
In every way possible.
Psychic Pokemon maybe?
I don't think you did it anyway.
Luna was the same way to Serra so she's just a weirdo nothing else.
Well Cain isn't convinced.
'Cause he's a fucking moron of course.
I don't know man this region is making me extremely suicida-
Oh you were talking about this fake Gardevoir nonsense.
We've got a lot more to cover so it'll do no good using up all my rage so quickly...
That's a big-ass pillar
Oh and the middle one is even bigger!
I feel so safe you guys!
Don't worry though I've got a fucking rock to protect me so I'll be fine!
Oh it's one of those weird things the Orderlies have.
Might as well catch it.
I'll add it to my Psychic Pokemon collection...
Well that isn't ominous at all right?
A distinctly alien looking Pokemon just APPEARING in the desert?
It'll be graaaaand. And the name Brainiac suits it well.
Also holy fuck exploding Baltoys.
Well I guess they weren't in a rush to complete their dastardly plan of...something?
I mean we already got through the ruin door why does he still need the gems?
Translation : Go fuck yourself.
Because Cult leaders are generally untrustworthy guys.
Like you fakey.
And then I'd use Protect and prove that a newborn Pineco is mightier than Arceus.
And THEN I'll start my own cult...with blackjack and hookers!
Who would trust someone who says that unironically?
I mean "Ascend to the light" could easily mean let's kill ourselves for the lord.
That's not what Cain meant...
Why would you think he meant something only YOU know about dipshit?
I didn't see any little girl...
Cain asking means Adrienn is in for a soft gential groping, so thanks for letting him loose Radomus.
I do...and it was 3 bucks at a costume stor-I mean...Heather's cherished posession!
SPEAK TO ME, RUBY DOOR, GREATEST OF THE GEMSTONE DOORS!
So I have to guess who's lying right?
I mean jesus that was a lot of frivolous english
How could you join the dark side after all I've done for you?????
Oh shut up you git.
I solved iiiiiit~
I've just forgotten what the answer was...
Let's say Infernape okay?
Oookay next floor...
Actually I'm curious what puzzle El and Adrienn had to solve.
The same one apparently...
At least there was an item at the end...
Moving on with the "plot"
Fuck! Warn me next time guys!
Are we supposed to believe you can tell when someone is lying to you?
Because I've only known you for about 9 minutes and your track record is already in shambles...
OH NO GUYS!
Maybe we're wrong about this!
After all El did INSIST they were his.
Also you'd have to be a moron to not figure out that these crystals opened these doors.
THEY'RE COLOUR-CODED FOR FUCKS SAKE!
An evil underground temple that's pivotal to the storyline somehow?
A better question would be "What's INSIDE this place?"
My bet is on more MacGuffins.
Why stop with 4?
An pair of Pearl Earrings, A Garnet Hairpin and a Diamond Cock Rin-
Hey don't interrupt me.
THE CREEPY GUY WHO'S BEEN ACTING INCREDIBLY SUSPICIOUS!
I MEAN HOW DOES HE KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THIS PLACE IS AND HOW IT WORKS???
WOULDN'T THAT RING A FEW ALARM BELLS IN THAT EMPTY HEAD OF YOURS ADRIENN???
BUT NOOOOOO YOU TRUST HIM BECAUSE HE HAS TIES TO A MASSIVE STRUCTURE UNDERNEATH REBORN!!
We'll have to kill you.
WHY DIDN'T YOU WHIP THAT OUT AT THE ENTRANCE RADOMUS?
WE'D BE DONE ALREADY AND NOT BE WALKING INTO WHATEVER EL HAS PLANNED!
Note the "precious"
See? SEE YOU TWAT?
For Christ's sake Cain!
We're trying to convince him to our side you bloody fruit!
Actually it makes perfect sense.
You just need oooooooone thing...
A FUCKING BRAIN!
I'm ignoring that.
Ugh...You're not getting any of the Team Jackets I made.
There's this thing called a time.
And this other thing called a place.
LEARN HOW TO USE THEM!
Hold up one fucking second.
Yeah yeah the gender thing I don't care.
As long as you don't identify as a Furry or "Otherkin" I won't hate you.
I'm more upset at your hypocrisy!
"It isn't always Black and White?"
Yet not 15 minutes ago you were condemning us for doing horrible things because some guy said so!
WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS LOGIC THEN HUH?
Jesus we're barely halfway in and I'm exhausted from complaining so much...what a finale eh?
I'm fairly sure he could identify as a god damn planet and you'd still be turned on.
What no Xim?
I'm offended game.
I'm gonna post this on Tumblr and THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY!
Now I don't want to do it...
Why not ask your buddy El?
You were so quick to condemn us earlier.
this fucking guy...
MAYBE IF YOU EXPLAINED IT TO THE OTHER IDIOTS INSTEAD OF PRETENDING THAT YOU'RE A GENIUS CHESSMASTER WHO CAN SEE EVERY MOVE
BEFORE IT'S BEEN MADE, WE'D HAVE LEFT BEFORE "GARDEVOIR" NICKED THE PENDANT!
I don't care anymore.
Let's just...move on...
Another puzzle room?
HE SAID HITMONLEE!
I'M PICKING HITMONLEE!
I mean...I did it!
Holy shit how are we so high up?
For some reason none of these screenshots have me facing left...
DAS A BIG PILLAR!
Or is it a pipe?
It has an entrance so it's hollow...I guess it's a pipe then?
Also hey look bad guys.
Apparently this open-air part is shaped like a huge X with the entrances for each gem at each end of the X.
Well those are the bad guys again.
Standing with there backs to me...
A smart trainer with free will would stab them but guess I'm a puppet of the system...
S'up El bro!
Well nice of you chumps to show up.
Wait a minute...
Of course you'd need them all.
Why the fuck did you even come down here?
If everything went to your plan you'd still be short one Sapphire bracelets
Get outta here ya silly bastard.
"said El, conveniently forgetting he's also a human."
THE WIND FISH!?!?!
You're religion has less credibility than Scientology. And that's saying something.
Which is horrifying when you think how ingrained these aliens have become in the world...
I mean they have free health care!
Which is only really impressive if you live in a 3rd world country or America!
No I agree with you.
Being buried under this disgusting pollution filled city is terrible.
But you know why it's disgusting and polluted?
Because of Team Meteor!
Because of you!
How is turning the city into a toxic wasteland improving the state of things down here?
It's a dead language for a REASON pal!
Plus you just said Pardon,Favour and Cleanse so I don't think you speak it either.
I think even Cain and Adrienn could figure out what you want to do with it.
There it is.
Kill everything under the pretense of starting again.
Classic cult trope.
Rather ironic considering you have a fake Gardevoi-
Okay fine you say it then.
Not like I wanted to bust this case open.
And then murder everyone involved years later so they'll be a follow-up case in which my apprentice discovers my dark secret past as a-
We're getting off topic...
Yeah you. "Gardevoir".
Shut the fuck up.
Nobody buys into your nonsense!
Oh wait I forgot we're dealing with the most gullible person on the planet.
I just hate everyone here.
El just can't admit he's a shitty parent who drove his own daughter away!
Until I kill myself out of sheer annoyance I bet...
SHUT THE FUCK UP CAIN!
Ow my head hurts...
Maybe I'll just go back to being nitpicky and ignoring all the giant idiot ball everyone except me is holding...
Compass that points south...?
That would be the same thing as a regular one only it points south!
You can use it like that!
Bad simile Radomus.
I must be a great person then huh Cinder?
The amount of times I've told you and Cain to shut the fuck up is astonishing at this point.
You've never met Luna. What do you know?
And Cain. You met them but never said more than two sentences to both.
So...one last time...shut the fuck up.
So am I!
I'm sorry that I have to listen to his idiocy.
What. Did. I. Just. Say. About. Talking?
The only other person in this room with more than half a brain!
"Like say if you wanted to view it in a way that would be easy to put in a video game perhaps"
It's what I'd do in the same situation.
Understatement of the god-damn century right there.
I may not like him but he's clearly not the problem right now.
Well aren't I special?
I still don't like you fucker.
If you explained what you're about to earlier, I wouldn't have had to listen to Mr. SpecialHeroSnowflake over there!
WHAT A TWIST!
Huh...I had my money on Zorua...
Oh well I was still right.
And yet despite him saying it, he immediately judged us as bad guys.
So fuck him etc etc
I am VERY tired of repeating what an idiot he is.
But...pure light is always more blinding than darkness.
No matter how dark something is, it'll never hurt your eyes.
Light on the other hand...well go stare at the sun and you'll see what I mean...
Well pat yourself on the back why don't you?
Sorry mate you're not my type.
Or he's wearing coloured contact lenses to throw us off.
Then why are your eyes still white?
They would have reverted to normal if you got your vision back
Because the magic healing glow of Arceus should have removed the cataracts that caused the blindness and milky white colouring right?
To sum up...You're full of shit.
Watch out guys!
He's going to restore our vision!
which I wouldn't mind to be honest
"Suppress the Oppressed"?
Is that what it means?
Well this is all very impressive bu-
SON OF A BITCH!
The fuck was that?
...You're fucking kidding me...
Nonononononono hold on that's not how Dittos work...
This shouldn't be happening...
This CAN'T be happening!
Oh dear god this is actually happening...
I...I don't have any idea how to beat this thing...
It's LITERALLY the strongest Pokemon.
I don't like where this is going Selina!
NO THIS ISN'T FAI-
How bout we do the ol' never fails strategy?
For old time's sake...
Just you pal. The only one in the world.
I doubt Cinder can make a difference in the end...
IT HAS LEFTOVERS TOO???
Don't do that...berate me for being a jerk or something...
I'm going to lose my whole team to fucking El and his bullshit Arceus-Ditto abomination...
And he accuses me of heresy...
I WON'T GO OUT LIKE THIS!
I'M BETTER THAN THAT!
BECAUSE I'VE JUST COME UP WITH A PLAN!
Okay big guy you need to survive whatever attack this thing will throw at you so we can wail on it!
AH HA! WRONG MOVE BITCH!
(Although it was probably the only move that would even affect Al)
...That's still a lot of damage...
Al you know what to do right?
DAMN FUCKING RIGHT WE ARE!
Oooohhh is the widdle bawby godling confwused?
Is El going to heal every confusion?
Oh my god...
If I can lock him into that cycle for long enough...
I might actually win...
DEATH TO THE FALSE GOD!
YEAH CHOKE ON IT YOU WHORE!
Make it count Al!
We live to fight another day because of your sheer bad-assery!
That...wasn't fair...why...why did the...
I'll avenge you Al.
No...WE'll avenge you.
FUCKOFF FUCKOFF FUCKOFF FUCKOFF FUCKOFF!
DAMN RIGHT YOU WILL!
This has been a terrible fucking day...
Fucking bullshit man...it's all just...bullshit...
I'll fucking eat your damn lord.
I wonder what Ditto tastes like.
Don't try and backpedal your way out of this.
That's not how Ditto's work.
They copy everything.
And I just killed your god.
Even though it was the most pyrrhic fucking victory I've ever suffered...
Let me get this straight then...
My Pokemon fought and died...for no reason whatsoever?
I came down here for no reason whatsoever?
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
FUCK THIS STUPID PIECE OF SHIT GAME AND IT'S FUCKING RETARDED CAST OF FUCKING CUNTS!!!
FUCKING MAKE ME LOSE THE BEST FUCKING POKEMON I EVER HAD FOR SOME STUPID PIECE OF SHIT GARDEVOIR THAT WASN'T EVEN THERE!?!?!
You know what?
Fuck these stupid fucks and their region.
Team Meteor can rape and pillage the place for all I care anymore.
lousy fucking Radomus and his Gardevoir whore...
maybe it's your fucking taste in hats?
I came back.
Only to finish this fucking season and take a long break from doing this again.
So buckle up!
Cause this dumbass train is leaving the station.
Maybe it saw your nasty bitch face and just wanted you out?
That's my guess.
My personal hell.
You want to buy a vowel?
It's the ShitBrown Lake?
What did you expect?
Does it involve chess?
If it does. Shut up.
Naming something after its colour.
I'm looking at you Oranges.
What? The Avatar gym in Coral Ward?
But that crazy old lady said the leader was master of a mysterious type...
Fairy's been out for like 3 years...
That's a lot of x's in a sentence...
I am very upset that I can't actually maim and torture this annoying bitch of a Pokemon.
Radomus, El and Adrienn too
All reached Charlotte's level of hatred.
I'm going to put this away before I stab my eyes out with it...
Or it could be one of the other abandoned gyms.
Lord knows there's enough of them in this city...
I almost pity Ame for having to deal with this city of morons...
We better get this next part over with...
A few parting words is more than necessary for you guys...
You were my first capture in this hellhole of a region.
I didn't think you would survive as long as you did to be honest.
But you beat the odds and made it far enough to bitch-slap Arceus.
And sure you killed quite a few possible captures but the frustration kind of endeared me to you that little bit more.
Rest well...you damn cat...