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[INCOMPLETE]Sapphire Cutelocke!

Hazard
Indigo League Champion
Indigo League Champion
Joined: July 17th, 2015, 11:21 am

September 9th, 2015, 7:14 pm #1

I decided to try out an idea tht I'd been toying with for a while - a Nuzlocke that uses Contest-ready Pokemon, instead of battlers.
[+] Here's a Sapphire run I did earlier:



Yup, that's a Castform. The MVP Castform, I shit ye not.
Now, let's take a closer look at the team.





As you can see, they are all either neutral or Sassy natured. Sassy raises Special Def, and is thus a Smart nature.
And as you can see, they mostly know Smart moves.
The idea for this Nuzlocke is to take on the League, using only a certain Contest Category - Cute, Tough, Cool, Smart or Beauty - as a handicap on moves and teammates.
[+] Rules for the run
1. Catch only the first Pokemon you encounter in each route.
2. Nickname everything. (Theme for this run will be onomatopoeia.)
3. If a Pokemon faints, it's dead.

Now, this is where it gets tricky. When I get my starter, I will check it's nature. Whatever Contest Category it applies to, that will be our handicap for the run.
If neutral, use the first Pokemon caught.
Our Mudkip, Pow, is Jolly, which raises Speed, making it a Cute nature.

4. Only Cute Pokemon may be used in battle. Any others that are caught must remain in the box, used as HM Slaves if applicable or be released.
4a. Neutral Pokemon may be used, they will be treated as Cute Pokemon.
5. If a Cute Pokemon learns a Cute] move by level-up, it MUST learn it. You may not forget Cute moves if you know moves of other Category types.
6. Cute Pokemon may only learn Cute TM/HM moves.
7. Dupes/Species/Gift/Shiny/Safari Zone clauses are all ON.
8. Only Master Rank Cute Contest Winners may challenge the Elite Four.
[+] Sorry, couldn't resist

:xd:
[+] Contents
Prologue - And the winner is...! (Right below these contents!)
Chapter 1 - The Perfect Nature
Chapter 2 - Rock or Bust
Chapter 3 - Come Sail Away
[+] Prologue - And the winner is...!

A bit of intro for those who have no idea what the Pokémon world is. In other words, aliens.


Yup, that's m'name, don't wear it out. I shall be seeing you briefly...


...as soon as I get out of this clichéd "neglectful parenting" joke.


Nowhere near as tiring as trying to forget that "camping trip" with Dad...


If by "nice", you mean "bland and uninspiring"...then yes, mother, you have hit the nail on the head.


Ah, good old HM Slave labour. How would we manage without it.


A quick picking up of "essentials"...


...I have no desire to see that warmongering brute of a father. I've got better things to do... like socialising!


Oh. Hi. Listen, I'm sorry to bother you, I just came to introduce myself, but I'll be on my way now-


-now to meet your charming daughter, of course! Where might she be?


Heigh ho, Hazard! AWAAY!


[Ok, there she is... Aaaand she is much prettier than anticipated... Ok, Hazard, you got this. Just walk up and introduce yourself...

Dontscrewupdontscrewupdontscrewup...]


...
[Dammit, man! Talk!]

...Hazard! I'm Hazard! What's your name?
[...Arceus, just end me now]

Uh, really? ...all good things, I hope?

Heh, I know, right? And I'd like to get to know you too, May, maybe over a cup of coffee or something...?

...
[...I'll take that as a maybe!]

Hm? Oh, don't be ridiculous, small child. We're in the middle of nowhere! There's no reason for-


Well, I'll be damned.


Help? Uh, um... Oh hey, a Pokeball!


Finally, a chance at battle! Lemme at 'em!
Uh, ok you seem eager to go... Mush.


Pah, a mere small fry. I expected better from you...What're you staring at?
N-nothing. Nothing at all. *boke*
[Tackle attacks should notbe that...gory...]


I really ought to thank you two properly.
Your safety is thanks enough, Professor-
Shhh! There might be material benefits involved!


...I'd rather not think about what choice phrases that brute has to say.
Your father...? Wait, you're Norman's child? I didn't expect a weakling like you to be his son...
Well, not all of us like battling as much as he does, toad!
Toad?! Call me that one more time, coward!


Perish the thought.
Hmph. And I thought you might be a worthy trainer to travel with-


You've GOT to be kidding me.
Well, why not? You may not have gotten off on the right foot, but I have a feeling you'll become the best of friends before you know it.
Out of the question.
I agree. Why don't you let me choose a diffe-
My daughter May was the same when she started her journey with Sprout.

Come, Toad! My fair lady awaits!
I warned you, don't call me Toad...!


So, what do I call you then, if not Toad? Shrimp? Bluefish? A carbuncle on the backside of humanity?
It's Pow, human. And how do I address you? Crybaby? Wimp? Sir Prancelot?
Sir Hazard will do nicely.
I preferred Wimp.


Hush, Toad! My betrothed awaits!
Betro... You're a bigger moron than you look if you think a lady of her caliber could fall for your wimpishness.
Hello, milady!

Why yes, he did! He's got a real eye for seeing the potential in, uh, potential sons-in-law...
Do you even hear yourself?!

Well, sure, I was thinking Saturday at around...wait, what?
NOW we're talking! Let's go, punk!
Wait...!

Oh no! Sprout, are you ok?
Hmph. You might learn something from that Treecko - at least he had backbone.
What the hell-! Are you trying to make me look like a murderer in front of her!
One, he is still alive, moron. Two - more importantly - that is the nature of battle, coward. Fight, or die!
You dense idiot! Now I'll never get to go out with her!
Believe me, wimp - you did not need my help in that.


MAY, WAAAAAIIIIT...!
Please, stop making scenes...


IknowI'msosorryitwasaterribleaccidentanditwon'thappenagainandI-
Here ya go!

...Oh. Thanks...Red's my favourite colour too-

What? Oh, May, I know this is so sudden, but of course I wi-
*gets Pokeballs*
-Ooooooh...
See? No help from me.

Yeah...Great...Good luck with that.
Good lord man, at least try to act with a little dignity...

What?! Madame, I am NOT adorable! I am Pow, Marauder of the Bloody Marshes and Terror of the Swamps, not some vapid pageant mascot!
..."adorable"? ..."Cute Pokemon"? ...That's it! THAT'S IT!Come on, Pow! We've got Pokemon to catch!

What the devil's got into you now? And why do you have that idiotic grin back on your face? Hey! Answer me, wimp!

To be continued...
[+] Spoiler
Current Runs

An Omega Ruby Toughlocke Challenge
[UCL] Sages and Mages

[♥]Damn it, Ultra Moon-Moon!
[+] Spoiler
Ghost in the Seashell

A Ghost Monolocke through Alola
[+] Spoiler

Name: Ulfric
Adopt one yourself! @Pok?mon Orphanage
Friend code of friendliness!
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Lore
Conqueror of the Azalea Gym
Conqueror of the Azalea Gym
Joined: August 16th, 2013, 11:24 pm

September 9th, 2015, 9:23 pm #2

I love this kind of run that plays with the game's minigame and such.
I would have like cute but okay
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CyndaKill
Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Joined: July 6th, 2015, 2:54 pm

September 9th, 2015, 9:31 pm #3

the crowd continues to watch hentai
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TheWookieeRascal
Conqueror of the Azalea Gym
Conqueror of the Azalea Gym
Joined: April 5th, 2015, 9:28 am

September 9th, 2015, 10:27 pm #4

This should be interesting..

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD FOR HENTAI!
Current Run


[+] Spoiler
Tony All-Bran CheeriosChexBoo Berry
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CyndaKill
Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Joined: July 6th, 2015, 2:54 pm

September 10th, 2015, 12:47 am #5

cute mudkip
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Jimcloud
Conqueror of the Lavaridge Gym
Conqueror of the Lavaridge Gym
Joined: September 8th, 2013, 4:33 pm

September 10th, 2015, 2:11 am #6

Oh my god. Game!Hazard is... he's definitely a personality, that's for sure. (Are you entirely certain you want that associated with your name?)

I feel horrible for Pow. He's doomed, dooooooomed. He just doesn't know it yet.
[4:14 AM] Furfrou: man i wish i didnt use a monkey paw to get u as admin
[4:14 AM] Furfrou: like ur a great admin
[4:14 AM] Furfrou: but i have to deal with these
[4:14 AM] Furfrou: fucking
[4:14 AM] Furfrou: puns
[4:14 AM] Furfrou: all the fucking time
[4:14 AM] Jimcloud: So you'd rather we quit monkeying around.
[4:15 AM] Furfrou: all
[4:15 AM] Furfrou: the
[4:15 AM] Furfrou: fucking
[4:15 AM] Furfrou: time
[1:46 AM] the traveling clock problem: i'm more worried about the fact that it wasn't "unflawed" that was edited
[1:46 AM] Furfrou: unflawed is a word tho
[1:46 AM] the traveling clock problem: it doesn't sound pretty, i guess
[1:47 AM] Jimcloud: so it's not unflawed
[1:47 AM] the traveling clock problem: mag if you ever hire another admin never use a monkey's paw ever again jfc
[1:47 AM] Furfrou: it was necessary
[+] Spoiler
Two Sides to Every Story: a Platinum Timelocke: Complete

Jimcloud's Pokemon Conquest 'Nuzlocke': Sporadically Ongoing

Mirror World - The Outsider: Discontinued
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Spade
Conqueror of the Cinnabar Gym
Conqueror of the Cinnabar Gym
Joined: April 22nd, 2014, 2:30 pm

September 10th, 2015, 2:35 pm #7

Interesting. I don't even know what to expect, the move-attribute-declarations are very random at times. Mud Slap is cute? Really? I'll just let myself be surprised by which moves are actually considered Cute.
Currently on Hiatus
[+] Spoiler
A Trip Down Memory Lane - My first Nuzlocke (LeafGreen) [Complete]
Scrambled Eggs - Randomlocke (Gold) [Complete]
Randomized Wrestling-themed Storylocke (Emerald) [Complete]
Learning to Type - MegaManLocke (Light Platinum+) [Complete]
Re:Dex - The Random Type Challenge (Emerald) [Complete]
I Expect Flying Tulips (Flora Sky Blindlocke) [Complete]
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Mimikku
Conqueror of the Celadon Gym
Conqueror of the Celadon Gym
Joined: August 21st, 2015, 9:28 pm

September 12th, 2015, 7:05 pm #8

That hentai joke killed me. You, sir, are a legend.
[+] Spoiler
Upcoming Schedule
Updates Wednesdays
War 2.2 - 3/23
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Shiny Dustox
Conqueror of the Lavaridge Gym
Conqueror of the Lavaridge Gym
Joined: August 29th, 2014, 12:34 pm

September 13th, 2015, 10:14 am #9

Interesting! I also named my Banette Hollow! And of course, the rules of the run.

Well, you're apparently experienced with this type of run so I'm sure you'll do fine. Good luck!

art by AgentNein
[+] Current Team
Liam Tierra Virgil Bree Aurora Helena
To view my Completed Runs, feel free to visit The Insectarium.
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Hazard
Indigo League Champion
Indigo League Champion
Joined: July 17th, 2015, 11:21 am

September 19th, 2015, 1:12 am #10

[+] RE:Replies
@Lore: Ask and ye shall receive!
I was secretly hopeing it would be a cute one as well

@cyndakill, @TheWookieRascal: Hentai - spectator sport fun for all the family!

@Jimcloud: The original plan was to make it a commentary run, but a narrative worked itself into it.
Yeah... I think so. I should have made some sort of disclaimer saying that it is in no way indicative of my RL personality, and that it is actually poking fun at myself and a few other things.

It is actually closer to my personality than I care to admit
Pow has no idea. No. Idea. At all.

@Spade: Mud-Slap is about as weird as it gets for Cute, to be honest. Then there's Water Gun.
Those are the two STAB moves Pow will have to rely on from now until Steven is defeated.

@Chaikit: Oh you... :xd:
I tried to get a screenshot with "Hentai got the crowd going" in it, but to no avail.

@Shiny Dustox: Great minds, eh?
Yeah... I've only experienced Smart runs, and to be honest I only think I got through that because of Secret/Hidden Power being readily available, but we'll see...
[+] Chapter 1 - The Perfect Nature

Perfect! What better way to demonstrate my authority than with the bloodied carcasses of the local populace!
You sound like my dad when we first moved to Johto... Anyway, you can't kill them all, I need to catch at least one.
Gah, fine. But you only get one chance at this, right?
Right. After that, it's all you.
Splendid. Then let's get this over with...
Arf?

Aha! There's your target! Allow me to "persuade" him to join us!
Whi-i-i-ine!
Pow! That's enough! Come on, little guy, get in the ball before he kills you...

Bah, you're no fun.
Shut it, toad.

Well, now that we've got our companion, let the bloodbath commence-!
We're boxing this one. Maybe we could catch anot-OH GOD.

Sorry, you said something?
...nevermind...

Great, we can box him and try another route.
Excuse you, wimp, but I have not nearly had my fill of fighting for this rou-*ptchoom*


Sorry, Tick, but no amount of bribery's going to make you a member of the team.
Arf...



New route, new chance for a teammate... and no chance of Pow the Barbarian killing it either...
Excuse me, dahling, but did I overhear say "teammate"?

One exhausting attempt to catch later...


I thought you wanted to be on the team!
"Never give it all away up front, dahling, make him work for it", is what my mother always said, dahli-
And stop calling me that! In any case, your nature's wrong. Box for you, too.
Rude...dahling. *ptchoom*



Well, third time's the charm... and guess I have no choice...
*ptchoom* Wha-? Who-? Where are we now?
The next route, on our way to Petalburg City.
Give me one good reason why I should keep following you around. With your what-you-call-a-spine intact.
...I'll introduce you to my dad? I have a feeling you'll get along swimmingly.
DEAL! We ride! Or...Walk!


First encounter, caught.
Nice work...now to check the nature aaaaaaand we're boxing this one too.
Why in Suicune's name are you being so damnably picky?!
Because May's only interesting in catching cute Pokemon. So if I show her a team of all-cute -
Surely you can't be serious.
I am. And it's Hazard, not Shirley.
...I don't get it.


One return trip later...

Hey, you! Battle me!
What? No, no, I'm not a Trainer, I'm more of a-

He's got a point, now LET ME AT HIM!
Noooo-!

Ahh, I do lovely the smell of freshly-maimed Zigzagoon in the morning...
Can we *urk* can we please move on-?

Damn it! But I'm not a-
Less yakkin', more attackin'! YEEEAAARGH!

Hmph, pitiful resistance.
Need...air...


Hmph, this will suffice as a ranged attack for now. Though I do like my prey up close so I can see the light in its eyes flicker and d-
Ok, ok we get the picture. And you're keeping it. No "but"s.
Hmph. Fine with me.


Why does nobody listen? I'm not-
CHAAAARGE!

Beat me? Pow, Marauder of the Bloody Marshes? YOU'RE A THOUSAND YEARS TO EARLY TO BE CHALLENGING ME, BRAT.
*sob*
I-I'm sorry about him, he gets a little enthusiatic in battle sometimes...


Ah, Pecha Berries. A useful antidote in the wild. I believe I may have underestimated your tactical acumen after all...
Natural antiwhazzat? Nah, I'm just picking these to make candy for later.
...aaaand you've gone back to "idiot" status.


What does battling Trainers have to do with Co-ordinating?
...Co-ordinating? You'd rather prance around in a cheap hall than experience the thrill of killing in cold blood? what is wrong with you?!
Urgh! Let's just drop it and move, already!
Pah, fine...


Well, here we are. Petalburg Gym... My father's...slaughterhouse...
You can smell the gore from here... It's beautiful...
*sigh* Well, might as well say "hi"...


...Hi Dad...
Sir, it is an honour to meet you! I've been dreamin about this for yea-!

...I...It wasn't hard-
But just because you picked up a feeble Mudkip doesn't mean I'm just going to take you on like that.
...come again?

But Dad... I don't want to a Trainer-
Did he seriously just call me feeble?

A Champion, just like your old man. You'll finally live up to the name I gave you. "Hazard, the Dangerous Champion of the World"!Didn't think you had it in you-
Dad, I want to be a Co-ordinator.
...
...
...

We've talked about this, Hazard.
I-I know bu-
You are going to be a Champion battler. Or, at the very least, an Elite Four member.
Dad pleas-
*slam*...E-Excuse me?

I...I wanted to start my journey to be a battler before I moved so...

But Dad, what abou-
Say, kiddo! While you're at it, how'd you like to be my adopted son?

...w...what?


Can't believe my own dad disowned me....
Can't believe that stuck-up baldy called mefeeble...I'll show him...
Hey, Pow? I know this is sudden, but I'm going to take you back to Birch's. I don't think I'm quite cut out fo-
Now you see here, Hazard. You and I are going to travel every inch this Arceus-damned region, we are going to win every single Arceus-damned Badge, and we are going to rub it in your dad's smug little Arceus-damned face, do you hear me?!
B-but the Conte-
Screw it, we'll win them too! And he will rue the day he made a fool out of the two of us! Are you with me?
...Alright, Pow. Let's do it. Let's go b-beat up some weaklings!
That's the spirit! And, you never know, maybe your lady friend will see you differently...
Heigh ho, Hazard! AWAAAAY!

[+] Chapter 1 (continued)

Say, speaking of wealkings - what did that green-haired human catch?
Hm? Oh, I don't know - was too busy moping in self-pity...Probably nothing to worry about though.
Agreed. Nothing of great potential in that route anway...


Now thisroute, on the other hand-!

Arceus damn it.
Oh, hello! Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and Saviour, Mew...?
Catching it anyway-!

Jeez, another Mild nature? Where are all the cute Pokemon?
You should've just let me "take care of things".
Pow no.
Pow yes.


...you're making those into candy as well, aren't you.
If I promise to make some for you, will you promise not to complain?
...it'd better be good...


...Nothing to comment on, Pow?
It's...just...too easy...


Petalburg Woods...Good luck finding a decent Pokemon in here.
What? Oh, come on, lighten up! There's got to be something in here that isn't gross or useless or mild-natured, right?

I stand corrected. On three counts.
Told you.
...Why is it looking at me like that?

...SOON...


Not today, thank you.
You'll be back...I'll be waiting...


Well...there goes Plan B...
Please tell me that was meant in jest.
Of course it was!...damn...


Strength in numbers means nothing! But still, thank you for the feast...
Can we please move along? *urk*


...Hey have you seen any shrooms around here?
Any - wait, what?!
Shrooms-uh, Shroomish! Shroomish, yeah! Favourite Pokemon, y'know?
...I could snuff him out in these woods, no-one need know...

Oh, great. A witness.
Who the hell is-

Look, I'm not a Trainer, I keep-

...y'know what? Pow, go for it. Do what you like.
What do you think I've been doing? Though I do appreciate the sentiment.

Ha...hahaha..HAHAHA, WAHAHAHAHAH! FEAR ME, MORTALS! WHO'S NEXT?
...*gulp* *flees*

No problem *boke*
So, kid, about them shrooms-
Oh, Pow~!

Pfft. Run, coward. I hunger...
Enough. Let's just head on...


Is...is that a flower shop? Hang on Pow, I need to make a stop...
Is this for one of your Contests? Look, I agreed to help you, but I draw the line at wearing daisy chains...!

A watering can? Why would you need that when you have me?
...Really? Do you want Pow the Bloody Barbawhatever to be seen watering flowers?
...Point taken.

And now, my pretties, drink up. And become strong. Yessss, my prettiesss...
...For once, Hazard, I am genuinely scared of you.


With my strength at its current level, these wenches should give us no bother...


HOW DARE YOU! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I COULD CRUSH BOTH OF YOU WITH MY THUMB IF I HAD A MIND TO-!
Let's go, Pow...!
THUUUUUUUMB...!


...You're a Pokemon Trai-!
If you say the word "Trainer", my buddy Pow here is going to demonstrate how to make balloon animals out of your intestines.
I... would not object to learning how to do that.
...Just take this and go.


So, about that balloon animal thing-
Just kidding, Pow.
Damn.


Seriously, do you know how easy it is to catch cute-natured Pokemon?
...
...Hazard?
...You dirty rotten SONUVA-!
Ooookay, come on now - let's go explore a few routes, catch some teammates-!
DAMN MILD NATURES! EVERY! SINGLE! ONE! DAMN ALL THE MILD NATURES...!


...You know, this might sound crazy...but I'm feeling lucky with this route.
Whatever. Just throw a ball, catch whatever comes first. I still want to bash more skulls in.
Here goes...!


ARCEUS DAMN IT.
...!
Great, now it's my turn! LET THE BLOODBATH RESUME!


Why Bide my time, when I can spend it ripping the enemy to shreds, hm?
...Uh, yeah... That's why you're not learning Bide...
...You wouldn't make me learn anything stupid, would you?
N-no! No, of course not!...Just only the cute moves...


Yes...Yes...I feel the power growing inside me...


Well, if you're looking for cuteness and power, there's none better than... Pow?!

Ahahahaha! Ahahahahaha! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, WEAKLINGS?

Pow...you've evolved! That's great! Now the first Gym should be a breeze!
Excellent! Then let us head-
Straight for Verdanturf, to the Contest hall!


Listen here, wimp. When I backed you up in Petalburg, I said we should do Gyms as well as Contests, right?
Well yeah but-
And we have a Gym, ready and waiting, in Rustboro City-
Yes but-
So please, enlighten me - WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO GET TO VERDANTURF FIRST?
BECAUSE I-!
Shhhh! Keep it down you two!

Butt out of our business, runt or I-!
Wait...he's...perfect...

...Wh...what 're you staring at me like that for?....G-guys?

To be continued...
[+] Notes
Ok, this became bigger chapter than I thought it was going to be. Simply because I could not find any Cute Pokemon anywhere.
Which makes sense because, according to the rules, you'd only have a 36% chance of catching a Pokemon you could actually use (9 out of 25 natures, including neutral ones)
Basically, I didn't want this to be a "Mudkip vs The World" chapter. So I stuck it out.

There's some more narrative here as we meet Norman, but trust me when I say this is not going to be a serious run. Burying the Hachet's the gritty one, this one is just for laughs. And to experiment with a different ruleset.

Our first legal catch - Yodel the Whismur!
I goofed on the nickname - apparently, "yodel" isn't onomatopoeia...So I've changed it (that's how far ahead I am) but would you prefer it to stay the same?
Let me know!
Incidentally, let's get a few reader questions in as well - Which Pokemon do you think is the cutest? I don't mean in terms of contests or anything, just which one makes you go "aaaawww" and feel all warm and squishy inside?
[+] Spoiler
Current Runs

An Omega Ruby Toughlocke Challenge
[UCL] Sages and Mages

[♥]Damn it, Ultra Moon-Moon!
[+] Spoiler
Ghost in the Seashell

A Ghost Monolocke through Alola
[+] Spoiler

Name: Ulfric
Adopt one yourself! @Pok?mon Orphanage
Friend code of friendliness!
1865-2334-9458
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Lore
Conqueror of the Azalea Gym
Conqueror of the Azalea Gym
Joined: August 16th, 2013, 11:24 pm

September 19th, 2015, 1:18 am #11

Where are all the cute pokemons?
Why are they hiding from you?
On a side note, I like Yodel.
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CyndaKill
Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Joined: July 6th, 2015, 2:54 pm

September 19th, 2015, 1:40 am #12

MY PRETTTIESSS
also I never knew that the twins didn't battle you if you didn't have 2 pokemon
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Spade
Conqueror of the Cinnabar Gym
Conqueror of the Cinnabar Gym
Joined: April 22nd, 2014, 2:30 pm

September 19th, 2015, 5:14 am #13

Huh... now I am mildly curious about what happens if you get into two trainers' field of vision in Emerald with only one Pokemon. I never knew that was a thing.
Currently on Hiatus
[+] Spoiler
A Trip Down Memory Lane - My first Nuzlocke (LeafGreen) [Complete]
Scrambled Eggs - Randomlocke (Gold) [Complete]
Randomized Wrestling-themed Storylocke (Emerald) [Complete]
Learning to Type - MegaManLocke (Light Platinum+) [Complete]
Re:Dex - The Random Type Challenge (Emerald) [Complete]
I Expect Flying Tulips (Flora Sky Blindlocke) [Complete]
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Mimikku
Conqueror of the Celadon Gym
Conqueror of the Celadon Gym
Joined: August 21st, 2015, 9:28 pm

September 19th, 2015, 7:44 am #14

Absolutely hilarious. Loving this run so far!
[+] Spoiler
Upcoming Schedule
Updates Wednesdays
War 2.2 - 3/23
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Hazard
Indigo League Champion
Indigo League Champion
Joined: July 17th, 2015, 11:21 am

October 19th, 2015, 7:37 pm #15

[+] Replies
@Lore -
[+] Where could they be...?
Ah, thanks! Unfortunately I am currently miles away from the Name Rater, so i can't change it back yet, but I intend to!

@CyndaKill - I was equally surprised.

@Spade - Good point... I imagine they just stand there doing nothing, will have to test that out.

@Chaikit - Thank you! :xd:
Feels like forever since I last updated this... But enough of that, on with the show!
[+] Chapter 2 - Rock or Bust

You have returned, as I foretol-Oof!
Yeah, hi guys, just dropping off the new meat, ok bye!
You haven't heard the last of me... SOON...!


Now then, Yodel, let's get you trained!
That's not my name...
Excuse me, why would you train up this pitiful cushion, when you have a meticulously refined battle machine such as I?
Because, Pow, Yodel is going to be our primary Contest winner -
That's not my name...
-and I want her moveset to be as show-stopping as possible. Capiche?
Bah, fine. Wake me when there's guts needing spilled...*ptchoom*

Alright, let's get rehearsing. A-five six seven eight...!

BOO!
Weak. And not very cute either. Again! A-five six seven eight...!


I really should use Pow for this... bah, to hell with it. Yodel, smite him!
That's not my name!

It's Yowl, not Yodel!
Good job, Yodel! We'll make a star of you yet!
Grr...


*ptchoom* Did someone say "battle"?
Well, now you've done it... Alright, play nice you tw-

WAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU - WITH MY THUUUUUUMB!!! *ptchoom*
O-oh my goodness...
...I'm never going to get used to that...*hurl*

C'mon, Yodel! Show this Youngster who's boss!
Arceus damn it...

Not bad... But that's more of a Tough move than a Cute one. One more time, Yodel!
THAT'S NOT MY NAME!

MY NAME! IS!

YOWL!
...Wow. Sorry. You really should've said something. *ptchoom*


*Ptchoom* A-HA! Now this is more like it! Say, where did the cushion go?
If you mean Yod-I mean, Yowl, she's in her ball. She also evolved, by the way.
What, really?! How much training did you do with her?!
Clearly, more than I thought - which means I'll now need to get you up to speed too.
Wait... are you saying...?
Just promise me you'll tone down the violence. Please?
Hazard, you have my word. I shall fight with honour, decorum and-

-FEAST ON THEIR ENTRAILS, HAHAHAHAHAH!
Pl-please stop...*boke*


Aaah, the main event! My first Gym battle - I'm looking forward to this!
I can't watch...
YEAAAAARGH-!
[+] Hazard vs. Roxanne
-HAHAHAHA, WAHAHAHAHA!


...I am so...so sorry for my Marshto-
Just take the Badge and get out.


Well, that went swimmingly!
Oh, shut up! And how the hell can you be so cheerful!
How could I not be cheerful! And did you see that Nosepass's face when I pulled out it's-!


...Wasn't that the same goon who attacked us in the Woods?
...Probably. But in any case, it's a matter for the police to handle, so let's just get to the Contest Hall and-


SON OF A BITCH.
Look, man, I really need your help this time! He's stolen some state-of-the-art -
Drugs?
No! No, state-of-the-art equipment that's getting shipped out to a client tomorrow! If we don't get them back, we're ruined...!
*sigh* Fine. But this is the last time I'm helping you out, got it?
Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!


The bastard made off with my partner! He's gonna pay for this!
Ok, calm down, sir - where did this guy g-

Holy shit, my ears! Ok, ok, I'm going...!


B-be careful, he's got a Poochy-!
Shut up, you! Now why don't you-!
Um, hello.
...

Fine, have it your way! Get 'em, Poochyena!
Pow, still up for a little playtime?
Always...

*sluuurp* Eugh, Dark-Type-blood is way too sour for my liking.
Now, about them stolen goods? And the Wingull?

I'm outta here! *escape rope*


This Wingull's your battling partner?
Nope! My performing partner!
We're entertainers!

Uh, Hazard. I'm kind of trying to be a coordinator myself...
Oho! We've got something in common then!

Oh, ok! Will do!

Now, with that out of the way, let's get straight to Verda-

ARCEUS WHY.
Don't look at me - my fist were made to smash skulls, not errant boulders. Besides, shouldn't you return those stolen goods first?
...*sigh* Fine.


Stupid boulders, stupid stolen goods, stupid shrooms-guy, stupid Trainers...


Yeah, you're welcome, see you la-

Wh-? No, I've got places to-

*Teleport*

-go and people to... Wait, what the hell...?

...If it'll get me to Verdanturf, fine.


Yes. Out of the goodness of my heart.

Do I look like a postman to you people?! No, I'm not doign that-!
Naturally, I know this asking a lot of you...

Ooh, shiny... Wait, is this a Condition Checker?!
Top of the range. Ideal for a budding Coordinator like yourself, or so my assistant tells me.
*excited squealing*
So, do we have a deal?
Deal!

Off to Dewford we- Oh, hang on...is that...?

IT IS! Oh, love of my life, how fare thee?

Yeah, not bad, not bad -

He seemed really happy - kept going on about some guy who saved his Wingull from a thug!
Oh, did he now?

Did he happen to mention how dashingly handsome and single this hero was?
Uh...no, not really. Besides, I don't think my boyfriend would be happy if I went around chasing some silly rumour, right?
...
...uh, Hazard? You okay there?
...



UUUUUUGH GAD WHY *unintelligible sobbing*
...Should we help him or...?
No, leave him be. Let him get it out of his system.
It's kind of sad, don't you think?
I know. It's hilarious.


To be continued...
[/color]
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An Omega Ruby Toughlocke Challenge
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CyndaKill
Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Joined: July 6th, 2015, 2:54 pm

October 19th, 2015, 8:01 pm #16

"And pulled out it's-"
nose? brain? eyes? *censored*?
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SilverStrangequark
Unova League Champion
Unova League Champion
Joined: February 22nd, 2014, 10:35 pm

November 2nd, 2015, 10:14 pm #17

The limitation is pretty original and set up to be an amusing plot point. You seem to know how to do comedy, too. Hope you continue this!
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Spark Plasma
Conqueror of the Violet Gym
Conqueror of the Violet Gym
Joined: January 1st, 2011, 1:37 am

November 4th, 2015, 6:59 am #18

Pretty interesting premise for a Nuzlocke. If I remember correctly, there aren't too many lategame Cute attacks, so that could be a problem. Good luck with your run.
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Pillowcase
Unova League Champion
Unova League Champion
Joined: September 28th, 2011, 8:52 pm

November 5th, 2015, 12:58 am #19

From the moment I saw Hazard and POW reacting to each other, I knew this was going to go places. :v Please continue.
SPECK
(updated 26.08.18)

~ you're all invited to the official nuzlocke writing chat ~
~ adrian ramos drew all my avatars, but not on purpose ~

"It wath anger from the patht" - Today at 4:44 PM
PI L LW OW
clock (32-bit) - Today at 4:44 PM
PILLOW
Aozora - Today at 6:22 PM
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Hazard
Indigo League Champion
Indigo League Champion
Joined: July 17th, 2015, 11:21 am

November 5th, 2015, 4:44 pm #20

[+] Replies
@CyndaKill - Some things are best left unsaid...

@SilverStrangequark - Well, thank you! To be honest, I'm struggling with the comedy a little bit, but thanks for the vote of confidence!

@Spark Plasma - There really aren't. Pow's going to be carrying Mud Slap and Water Gun for most likely the rest of the run-
Wait, what? What was that?
Nothing, nothing!

@Pillowcase - I will try. And speaking of going places...
[+] Chapter 3 - Come Sail Away
Many weeks later...


Well, gang, we're finally here!
What do you mean, "finally"? It took us twenty minutes walk from Rustboro Centre to here, tops!
Oh hush up, Pow. You know Hazard has been through a lot lately.
He spent six weeks sobbing over a girl he's barely known for ten minutes!
Don't listen to him, Hazard, he's just jealous because he doesn't understand how the heart works.
I know how to make yours stop beating-
Pow, shut up. And thank you, Yodel, I needed that. You're a good friend.
It's Yowl, you moron.


...Are...are we interrupting something?
Eek! *covers eyes*


Oho! You're that Hazard fellow!
...Can I open my eyes now?

Anything we can do for you, just say the word!
Anything at all!
Anything, eh...?
Oh bloody hell, he's got that stupid gleam in his eye again. We're doing postal duty.

So...these guys can get us to Dewford?
That's right. Briney and Peeko are a renowned cruise-cabaret act, pretty popular in Rustboro. They usually travel via Dewford between Petalburg and Slateport, in their own boat.
Well...any chance of a lift?

Why didn't you just ask them to do the damn postage thing for us?!
Because that's not fair, Pow, and Hazard knows better than to take advantage of favours like that. Right?
Uh, yes! That's totally the reason! Wish I'd thought of that first...


Now then, are ye all sitting comfortably?
Yup!
Yes!
I suppose so...
Well then, Peeko! Let's give our guests a little entertainment for their voyage!

Are ye ready, Peeko? Aye-aye, Captain!
I can't heeeear you! Aye-aye, Captain!
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh...!
Oh sweet Arceus no.


Who lives in a cottage on Route One-oh-Four? Mis-ter Bri-ney!
Who's handsome and tough and has a loud "Wrooar!"? Mis-ter Bri-ney!
If nautical passage be something ye need! Mis-ter Bri-ney! ♪
Give Peeko or me a holler, indeed! Mis-ter Bri-ney! (Ready?) ♫
Mis-ter Bri-ney! Mis-ter Bri-ney! Mis-ter Bri-ney! Mis-ter Bri-ney!
Mis-teeeeeeeeeeer! Brii-neeeeeeeeeeeeeey!! Hahahaha!
*kazoo riff* Doodle-ee-do, do-do, do-oo! ♫

...
...
...Well that was ni-
One more time! Oooooooooooh...!

A very long and song-filled voyage later...
See you around, Hazard!
See you later!


...I never want to hear that song again.
You and me both, wimp.



♪ Whos lives in a cottage on Rout- ♫
Oh, put a scarf in it! *shoves scarf into Yowl's mouth*
MMFFF-mmmf!
Pow, stop it! Let's just find this Steven guy and get out of here, ok?
Fine by me.

|
What do you mean, it's not laser-beam vision?!
Just that! It's not a move that does damage, nor is it cute, so it's not good for either of us.
Damn it all...


Feh. Pathetic.
You ok there, Pow?
I don't know. Maybe it's just because it's been a while but... killing isn't as fun as it used to be. I need some more excitement, more challenge. Something more stimulating to get the blood pounding and the organs squashing and the spleen splitti-
*urp* Stop. Saying. That.


Some stranger went ahead, muttering something about meditating and needing some space. Wouldn't disturb him, if I were you.
It's just giving him a letter, how bad can it be?
Suit yourself. Take this Flash HM with you then, it can get pretty dark in there.
Thanks...I guess...

Something wrong?
Neither of you guys can learn this. It's too...
Flashy?
Har-de-har-har. Actually, it's practically useless. And according to my Pokedex, the only one in my Box who could potentially use this...

(...SOON...)

...nah, it's not worth it. Let's see if we can find a guide.

Uh, excuse me...?

Hello! My name Wakanada Wakawaka! I look forward to working with you!
Oh my. He seems...enthusiastic...
I'm Hazard, and this is Pow and Yod-sorry, Yowl. Can you guide us through this cave, please?
Of course, Hazard-sensei! I, Wakanada Wakawaka, will do my best!
..."Sensei"?
Oh, great. He's one of those Makuhitas...
Um, thanks. But mind if we call you "Whack" for short?
Nicknames are the friendship between comrades! Thank you very much, Hazard-sensei!


You can't honestly expect us to put up with this waddling weeaboo on the team!
Pow, that's rude! But I have to agree, he does come off a little strong...
Well, as far as I'm concerned, he's a perfect teammate! Plus, Makuhita can be Cute too, right?
I will not disappoint you, Hazard-sensei! Pow-senpai! Yowl-chan!
..."Senpai"?
"Chan"?!

Some grinding later...


Hazard-sensei! I have successfully finished perfecting my latest technique!
It's...uh...powerful, alright. But it can't be considered "cute" so-
Aiyah! I have failed you, Hazard-sensei! Allow me to purge my sins with the cleansing art of Sudoku...!
NO! No, no need for that! Just... run any new moves you learn by me next time, ok?
Learning new moves is the friendship between comrades! Thank you very much, Hazard-taichou!
Wait, "taichou"...?


Phew! Finally made it out!
About time too, I was getting really sick of those feeble Zubats...
Thanks for all your help in that tunnel, Whack!
Tunnels are the friendship between comrades! Thank you very much, Hazard-taichou!
I'm getting fed up of that catchphrase...


Hazard-taichou, requesting permission to learn this new technique!
Let's see... Vital Throw ain't cute, but you could definitely make do with it. Let's have you forget Focus Energy and learn that instead.
Vital Throw is the frienship betwe-!
SHUT UP!


It's just a hunch, but I think he's our guy.
Really? How can you tell?
Maybe because he's the only other human in this entire Arceus-damned cave.
Touché, Pow. Touché.

Uh, excuse me...?

Good! Name's Hazard, came here to give this to you.

Oh no no, there's really no need to-oof!
Would you shut up! This guy's obviously loaded, just take the money and be done with it!
Unfortunately, I don't have my wallet with me right now. But I'm sure this will suffice. *reaches for sleeve adorned with silver watch*
W-wow! That's so generous of you, I can't beli-!
Here you go!

Psyche! I always keep a copy of Steel Wing up my sleeve for moments like this!

You should've seen the look on your face! Later, loser! Hahahaha!




...
Well, that was uncalled for.
...
If it's any consolation, I think I'm getting the bloodthirst back.
...If it's because of that douche, then that's great, Pow.








Douches are the friendship between comra-! *Ptchoom*

To be continued...
[+] Author's Notes
Short update is short. I was planning on fitting more into it, but couldn't find a suitable cut-off point (for some reason, I didn't take on Brawly until after the next rival battle on Route 110 - silly Hazard is silly) so I had to trim it down.

As I mentioned in my other run - I'm going to be pretty occupied over late November and most of December, so the next update won't be out until probably January. By which time I should have recharged my batteries and have a lot more ideas for humour and jokes.

Thanks for reading!
[+] Spoiler
Current Runs

An Omega Ruby Toughlocke Challenge
[UCL] Sages and Mages

[♥]Damn it, Ultra Moon-Moon!
[+] Spoiler
Ghost in the Seashell

A Ghost Monolocke through Alola
[+] Spoiler

Name: Ulfric
Adopt one yourself! @Pok?mon Orphanage
Friend code of friendliness!
1865-2334-9458
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