- [+] Replies! :D
- [+] Thoughts on these developments:
You know, Will's summary of what he knew was rather interesting just because of how starkly it laid out how little he knows(/knew?) and really drove home how little information the public has about it.
...And telling Surge their names was a really, really dumb move. ...Well, not dumb, because at that moment he had absolutely no reason not to trust Surge, but still, I cringed and thought, "Oh, Will, no..."
Still, you have to give Surge credit for being so straightforward with him. Just laying out what he knows, without really sugarcoating his own responsibility -- particularly when he says he effectively sold out the other gym leaders. William shows good insight here; surely, Jimmy would have gotten the information in other ways... but Surge has likely heard all that before, and it doesn't mitigate the feeling that he betrayed them.
Surge's offhand comment about jealousy really makes me more suspicious about what Jimmy's home life was like. Certainly, it's quite common to interpret Oak's behavior in the game as blatant favoritism towards the player character -- even as a child, I remember being struck by how unnecessarily nasty Oak's treatment of his grandson at the climax felt. Just something about how he scolded him for losing the title before Oak could get there... while Blue had been a cocky jerk, it was really jarring how he reacted so... coldly, I suppose. Probably meant to make the player happy and cut your rival down a few notches; still, it's easy to draw less-than-favorable conclusions about what their home life could be like from that...
I'd already been wondering if Jimmy was the 'unfavorite' among his sons... or, rather, if he was the favored son, facing pressure as the eldest to do the family name proud and be the very best. The professor may have even played them against each other, however unknowingly -- always comparing them, doling out praise paired with not-so-subtle jabs to the other boys' egos: "See how well he did? Both of you should live up to that example!"
On a lighter note -- I can't believe I didn't make the connection between the dancing squirtle and the one you get in the game! Especially since you've done so well weaving the three of them into the plot so that they aren't just "Oh hey free starter, sweet!' I wonder how she feels about being given away, though... or if she even knows the full reasoning behind it, or that her original trainer's still in serious danger, along with all of her friends and former teammates...
...Calling it now: if there's any news broadcasts about something happening at the Vermilion Gym, William had better be careful about breaking the news to Virgilia, or the poor thing might go through a heroic BSOD.
So Surge defied the odds and made it through this part alive... Though I still don't expect him to see the epilogue, I'll still be rooting for him all the same. Even if the timing of the ending could raise suspicion about Surge selling Bill and the others out... But aside from the timing, there's little else to support that at the moment.
...Is it horrible that I'm more worried about what Jimmy could do with Bill's technology than I am about Bill? If he's looking for information, there's plenty of power there to conduct his searching -- to say nothing of the fact he might be able to look up William's account! Even if he can't alter the data, he can see what sort of pokemon William has registered and stored... That can't be good. And then, of course there's the fact Bill has Jade's number -- what if she calls? What if Misty or Brock calls?!
William has a backstory with Erika, huh... Well, for a completely random, off-the-wall and likely totally baseless guess, how's this: Jade used to be the Celadon City Gym leader before she met Jimmy and plot happened. Jimmy could have even exploited his friendship with Surge to learn how to earn her favor. Erika was a family friend and became her replacement; she may have even babysat William for a while before things all went to hell.
...I have nothing to base that on, other than the thought that hey, it might be nifty and give Jade something more plot-connected than 'mother in hiding'.
- [+] My reply (it's kind of long so I bagged it
I think one of William's fatal flaws is his trust and his optimism. He trusts too much, he believes things will turn out okay too much. it was kind of dumb for William to tell Surge their names. Surge isn't going to betray William, but he didn't know that for 100% sure.
And I've really come to like the character Surge has developed into. He's actually kind of a cool guy.
The jealousy thing actually doesn't have to do with Oak, you'll find out by the end though :) And Jimmy was actually originally Oak's favorite, until he took a turn for darker ways.
It's not really horrible to not feel bad for Bill....especially when the writer himself doesn't feel bad for him. In a way, the guy kind of had it coming to him. I do feel kind of bad for what exactly Jimmy put Bill through though...
And that was actually a pretty good guess. It was wrong - but it was on the right track. Jade is much more than a "mother-in-hiding"...
Yes...things didn't turn out well for Bill at all...
- [+] Spoiler
- Jimmy going straight up to Bill? This won't turn out well for him :( Or Surge.
Thank you! I considered taking it out because I wasn't sure if it would take away from something else later on.
Epsilon wrote:All I can say is eeps. and I liked the Bill addition to the end of the chapter - it's really well played.
And, with that completed, we now begin...Part 5!
- [+] Preface
When Jimmy first made it to Celadon City, he didnt challenge Erika immediately. At the time, I had no idea why. But a few days later, I learned the truth when Jimmy called me.
He and Erika were in love.
Erika was Jimmys age at the time, and she was already a prodigy at wielding grass type Pokemon. She was awarded the position of the Celadons City Gym Leader after getting rid of an infestation of Tentacruels and Tentacools in the citys water supply.
In some ways, they made sense together. Erika, like Jimmy, was constantly trying to prove herself. After all, her father was a gym leader.
Jimmy called me, and he told me of his love interest. He told me he was going to attempt to get Erika to leave her gym, and travel with him.
I advised him against it.
I told him he was young, and he shouldnt commit himself to one person right now. I warned him that what he was feeling wasnt love, just attraction. I said he needed to focus on his original plans, and go about them alone.
Jimmy scoffed at what I suggested, and he hung up.
However, a few days later, I heard he had challenged and beaten Erika. It was a long, long time before I heard what had changed his mind.
Jimmy had meant Erikas twin sister Janine.
Erika and Janine were not identical; while Erika was beautiful, Janine was a goddess. Janine made Erika look like a weed next to a flower. Erika was cruel, petty, self-centered, and lacked confidence in herself. Janine was kind, down-to-earth, and confident. She was everything Erika wasnt.
But more importantly she was everything Jimmy wasnt. Perhaps that is why he pined after her. She was who he could never be, or refused to be. By achieving her love, maybe he thought he would fill that hole inside of him.
Janine did not return Jimmys love. She told him she could not return the love of a man who her sister was in love with.
So, Jimmy destroyed Erika like he destroyed the others, and then told Erika she was nothing compared to her sister.
Of course, this did not win Janines love like Jimmy hoped. Rather, it drove her further away.
But Erika blamed Janine for losing Jimmys love. Erika blamed Janine for everything that happened afterwards.
After the Battle of the Threes, Janine went into hiding and she changed her name. She knew Jimmy was still alive, and she did not want to be pursued by him. But the fact that Bill found her worries me greatly it makes me afraid that Jimmy could do the same.
To this day, the twins have not spoken. Erika thinks her sister is still off somewhere in a different region.
Erika has no idea about the two children that her sister has had.
Erika doesnt even know that her sister now goes by Jade.
-From the diary of Professor Samuel Oak
- [+] A Few Thoughts on Part 5
It's going to be long. Longest Part yet. But, I promise to make it worth reading.
Part 4 turned out a little lighter than I originally planned. I remembered saying there was going to be a lot of darkness in Part 4, but there wasn't nearly as much as I had anticipated.
But now when I say Part 5 will be dark, I mean it. Part 5 will be dark.
Expect at least one death.
With that being said...anyone can die. Humans and Pokemon alike.
Chapter 29 will be posted tomorrow morning. Chapter 30 MIGHT be posted tomorrow night.
As always, thank you to everyone for reading and commenting. You are all amazing. I will continue to aim to please and get better. If I ever stop doing so, please let me know, and I will work to fix it :) A few things I will be working to improve on in the next Part are...
1. Better characterizations of my Pokemon. They really are cool characters, I'm just doing a poor job of showing it.
2. More of Chris. He's only appeared four times, and he's kind of a major character.
3. Better descriptions! I feel like this is were I struggle the most.