Kagaku, Sori

dunnsavo
Elite Jounin
Joined: October 13th, 2011, 10:12 pm

October 23rd, 2011, 11:05 pm #1

Basic Information
Name: –Kagaku, Sori--
Age: --13.--
Gender: --female.--
Rank: --Genin.--
Village/Country: --Sunagakure.--
Elemental Affinity: --Fire--
Specialty: –chemistry
Appearance
Height: 5’2”
Weight: 99 lbs.

--Sori is average size for her age and slightly underdeveloped in her more womanly attributes. She has light purple hair that is constantly a mess from lack of grooming. Her eyes are violet in color and she wears no makeup. Upon examining her hands same clean cuts can be found from broken glass most of the cut are closed but a few are fresh. Also her arms and hand are covered in the remnants minor burns she has accidently given herself over the course of years.
Sori wears a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and left untucked. The shirt is usually stained in some way as she has a habit of spilling her food or her experiment on herself. A black skirt ruffle miniskirt made of an easy clean fabric. Thigh high stockings with thick horizontal purple and white stripes are worn on her legs. She wears midcalf black leather boots with four buckles along the leg. To protect her hands she wears long thick black rubber gloves. On her forehead can be found small silver goggles with s thin leather strap and around her neck she wears a simple gas mask to protect her from her own concoctions. Over her shoulder Sori wears large messenger bag in which she keeps her beakers, test tubes, manuals and research journals, vials of different poisons, antidotes and various other useful substances, and scrolls to summon her chemicals. Around the shoulder strap of the bag she has tied her head band to denote that she is a Suna ninja.
--
Personality
-- Sori tends to be rather forward and uncaring of social graces. This makes her come off as rather rude and make it so she is hard to be around some times by by people who don't know her. With sufficient scolding and if it is less trouble just submitting then having to listen to a lecture every time Sori will eventually submit to certain social traditions such as brushing her hair occasionally and changing close often. However upon getting to know her Sori seems more laid back then actively rude. She only acts out of convenience and thus will subscribe to herd mentality when it suits her cause for readily then any other course of action.
As a woman of science and at that a currently under explored science Sori uses as much of her free time as she can doing experiments to determine how the universe works. However since there is little money in research for the sake of research, Sori became a ninja to fund the research. Also her work as a ninja has helped to create a market for some of the compounds that she has discovered during her research, most notably her Angel’s salve which has increase the healing ability of almost every medical ninja in Suna.
Sori could be seen as a slight tom boy as she tends to spend most of her time with guys and may times finds their activities more interesting than those traditional taken part in by girls. For instance Sori has been known to take part in burping contests with the guys and has even won several. Furthermore she sees nothing wrong with changing with the guys if it is the most convenient option. Likewise she will not go out of her way to bathe in a different area, if the area males are bathing in is the closest and or nicest . This over this over the years has lead to several conversations about modesty from her father as well as older girls and women, none of which she has really cared to listen to.
Sori is not well equipped to compete in close combat and usually prefers to have her team mates handle the actual fighting and for her to provide support. Furthermore Sori refuses to kill anyone and thus only uses nonlethal poisons to set up for her Squad mates to better do what she can’t.
Sori find other people and their obsession with social norms fascinating however she herself sees not point in subscribing to them. She tend to find most other girls shallow and most guys interested in only sex. So Sori is not attracted to anyone and prefers to have only Platonic relationships. However she is not completely opposed to the idea of love or being with someone for the rest of her life. --
Strengths
--
  • —Chemical Knowledge—has an unrivaled knowledge of Chemistry and compound synthesis
  • --visualization—Sori can visualize the chemical structure of any compound she thinks of.
  • —Medical Knowledge— Has complex knowledge of medicinal chemicals and of healing solutions and medicines.
  • —comfortable in her skin—is very comfortable with her body and is not ashamed of it
  • near perfect chakra control-- Sori is able to draw the exact minimum amount of chakra necessary to perform any jutsu, because of years of using very small amount of chakra to perform her experiments.
Weaknesses
  • —Physically Weak—Not skilled at hand to hand combat.
  • —Absent mindedness—tends to be forgetful of things the she finds unimportant such as grooming and manners.
  • —clumsy – has a habit of burning themselves at the nearly every moment possible.
  • —lack of modesty—Sori is not modest and is not afraid to change in front of her male team mate nor to bath with them
  • --Nonfatal-- Sori absolutely refuses to kill anyone for any reason but is not opposed to other killing people.
Biography
Early Years
--Sori was raised by her father as her mother had died during child birth. From a young age it was instilled in her that knowledge take precedent over almost everything else including grooming manners and even other people. Because of this her father was often not aware of what she was doing so she often spent whole days without any cloths on when she was extremely young until her father poked his head out of the lab at the right time and he noticed her walking around stark nude. This lead to a long discussion about how it was not very ladylike to run around naked this did not matter to Sori but her father made her promise to put on clothing every day. Which he made sure of before he went into his lab each day.
As soon as she could read he father began giving her Chemical manual to begin to teach her how to perform basic chemical processes. Then once her father believed that she was ready he brought her in to the lab as his assistant at the age of 6. By the age of 9 she was given a fully stocked lab of her own in which she was instructed to create new substances and to perform experiments. Many of the most useful discoveries she made fell within the field of medicinal chemistry including compounds that cured infections and promoted rapid healing of wounds This all went well until Sori was eleven and while out getting things for dinner her father was trying to determine what would happen in a reaction between sucrose and Potassium Chlorate resulting in a massive fire that killed her father and burning everything in the dwelling. Thus the entirety of the worlds Chemical existed only in Sori’s mind and her father’s journals that she cared with her every where.
Academy Years
During her time at the Academy Sori made few friends with girl her own age, but got along swimmingly with the guys. She usually found that most things she was learning in class were of little consequence so she usually hid one of her chemistry journal inside her ninja text books to continue to learn things that she found of value. One lesson that Sori did find particularly interesting was one on the art of senbon throwing
which Sori saw as a particularly good way to deliver her soluitons at long range by dipping the tips of the senbon in her concoctions. Additionally her time at the academy taught her improved chakra control to the point where a drop of chakra was rarely wasted while performing jutsus.
In order to graduate form the academy Sori was required to take part in a combat demo with another girl who happened to specialize in Taijutsu. It was a hard battle but Sori ended up winning using a combination of her stunning poison senbon and her Heat technique utilize for the first and only time offensively to burn the opponent who promptly afterward she gave a bottle of her burn healing salve. --
Inventory
  • 5beakers: Description – glass containers or varying size in which experiments can be performed kept in messenger bag.
  • 20test tubes and rubber stoppers: Description – small glass vessels in which smaller scale experiments can be performed as wells storage for small amounts of different substances. Located in the messenger bag.
  • 2lab manuals : books containing procedures to perform certain reactions. Located in messenger bag.
  • 2 lab journals: journals used to record observations about experiments and procedures to create new substances of her own discovery. Located in messenger bag.
  • 10 vials of universal antitoxin: a solution of her own design that by adding a sample of the poison can cure almost any toxin. Kept in messenger bag.
  • 10 vials of super soldier serum: a mixture similar to a soldier pill in liquid form. Kept in messenger bag.
  • 4 vials of Angel’s Salve: a cream that can be applied to wound to promote super healing as well as preventing infection. Kept in messenger bag.
  • 100 Senbons: traditional ninja throwing needles. Hidden up her right sleeve
  • 10 kunai: ninja throwing dagger. Hidden in left sleeve.
  • 1 vial of manticore venom: an extremely rare poison that is non lethal but slows movement and reaction speed for 5 enemy posts. 2 of increasing effect, one of complete paralysis, two of decreasing effect . Kept in a poach on the high upper thigh under her skirt.
  • 1 Periodic Table of Summoning: a scroll featuring all of the elements. Each of which can be summoned individually with a sacrifice of another compound.
  • 1 gas mask located around neck for easy access.
  • a large assortment of various water based poisons, drugs, and stimulants . Including:
    • Visions of Morpheus: a mild hallucinogen takes effect after 2 post of constant exposure
    • Touch of Zeus: a stunning draft that causes temporary slowed movement and reaction time effect after 2 posts of exposure
    • Basilisk Breath: a concoction that immediately irritates the eyes and through causing initial discomfort until excruciating pain with continued exposure after 7 posts.
    • Hypnos' draft a mild potion that causes those that breathe it in to become drowsy after 2 posts and fall a sleep after 4
    • Nectar of Olympus has an effect that promotes healing as well as acts as an antidote to any of Sori creations.
    Techniques
    ---
    Academy Student(Optional): 3 D-Rank + 1 C-Rank = 4 Techniques
    Genin: 3 C-Rank + 1 B-Rank = 4 Techniques
    Chuunin: 1 C-Rank + 2 B-Rank + 1 A-Rank = 4 Techniques
    Tok. Jounin(Optional): 1 B-Rank + 1 A-Rank = 2 Techniques
    Jounin/ANBU: 3 A-Rank + 1 S-Rank = 4 Techniques
    Elite Jounin/ANBU Captain: 1 A-Rank + 1 S-Rank = 2 Techniques
    Legendary Ninja/Kage: 2 A-Rank + 2 S-Rank = 4 Techniques

    ---
    1. Heat
    Rank: d
    Range: self
    Description: User infuses a very small amount of chakra in to a substance in contact with their hand cause it to vibrate and create heat

    2. Summoning:Elements
    Rank: d
    Range: self
    Description: User sacrifices a substance to summon an equivalent amount of any element. Ritual requires the Periodic Table of Summons and a very small chakra sacrifice.

    3.Glass Mending
    Rank: d
    Range: short range
    Description: User infuses a very small amount of chakra broken pieces of glass causing them to reassemble can only be used on glass.

    4.solidify
    Rank: c
    Range: mid range
    Description: User absorbs some of the chemical energy of a solution causing it to enter its solid phase because it energy state was decreased to their minimum. This chemical energy can be converted to chakra.

    5. –Decompositions --
    Rank: c
    Range: – Mid range--
    Description: –User is able to decompose any compound or molecule less complex then a glucose molecule into its components as long it is in contact with with the users body or within 6 inches. This is performed by releasing chakra into the environmental that specifically targets certain compounds increasing the tendency of anti-bonding electron pair to form. Requires complete undivided attention thus of little to no use in combat.--

    6. –Catalyst.--
    Rank: c
    Range: -- Close Range, --
    Description: –Has the ability to speed up the rate of a reaction to almost instantaneous by infusing a small amount chakra into the reactants to increase the influence of the charges.--

    7. --Synthesis --
    Rank: c
    Range: -- Mid Range, --
    Description: –User can synthesize simple compounds and molecules, meaning substances simpler then Glucose, out of their components reactants in the air and surrounding area as long as they are in contact with the users body or within 6 inches. This is perform by utilizing a small amount of chakra to influence the way that a molecule will form by increasing the tendency of bonding electrons pairs to form. Requires complete undivided attention thus of little to no use in combat.--

    8. –Volatile Mix .--
    Rank: b
    Range: -- Long Range.--
    Description: -- Has the ability to vaporize any aqueous solution. By releasing a small amount of chakra to reduce the inter-molecular forces to almost nonexistent and allowing them to move to their gaseous phase. Turning it into a cloud of the mixture that remains in the air for 10 posts --
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Milleni
Legendary Ninja
Joined: February 11th, 2010, 2:01 am

October 24th, 2011, 12:56 am #2

Okay first of all, an interesting idea - though, I haven't been in touch with my chemistry for a couple of years now so I bear with me if I say anything incorrect.

Personality
This was how i read your personality section:
  • Sori is a tom-boy who is not afraid to get naked (takes up pretty much half of the personality)
  • Sori has an interest in science (takes up roughly a third)
  • Sori doesn't like to fight (two lines)
You've left out probably some of the most important aspects of the personality section:
  • Is she generally cheerful, gloomy, rude etc. (this shouldn't just be a few lines; should at least have the length of what you have currently written for "her interest in science."
  • Even though I'm assuming that she doesn't have any interest in boys; your profile doesn't really clarify how your character relates with other characters.
There is probably more, but those 2 were the ones that jumped out at me the most.

Strengths and Weaknesses
Just something minor. Please take out the "List at least 3 strengths that your character possesses. This may include psychological strengths, personality strengths, physical strengths, or anything of the like. --" in both strengths and weaknesses.

Oh and I would recommend changing "modest" to "lack of modesty" to avoid confusion.

Biography
Okay since this is a Genin profile, the biography should roughly be twice the size of what you have written for academy.
So far the only thing you have written in it is really Sori's childhood and how life is at home. You have no mention about her for when she was in the Academy.

Also in your strengths you've listed having a complex understanding of medical knowledge. Medical knowledge doesn't really come from having an interest in chemistry. Its a slightly different strand of science. I'm not opposed in you having that as a strength, but if you're going to have it; then explain in your biography about HOW Sori developed this understanding and interest.

Techniques

First of all, I should let you know that at Genin Rank you are allowed 8 Jutsus. the 4 you get from Academy Rank, and then the additional 4 you get as a Genin.

Next, I'm just going to say this. All of your jutsus had really bland descriptions. Which made it very difficult for me to moderate, since you don't clarify the capabilities of each jutsu. I had to base the judgment off my own understanding of chemistry, and that shouldn't be the case.
wrote:1. –Decompositions --
Rank: c
Range: – Mid range--
Description: –User is able to decompose any simple compound or molecule into its components. Rate of the decomposition of the substance is equal to the concentration. --
How does she decompose these compounds. By touch? Or can she do it simply by performing hand seals? Does that mean she can decompose a person's blood? The water inside another person? Exactly what do you mean by simple? Everyone's opinion of what is a simple compound is different. Clarify it.
wrote:3. --Synthesis --
Rank: c
Range: -- Mid Range, --
Description: –User can synthesize simple compounds and molecules out of their components reactants in the air and surrounding area. Speed of the reaction is determined by the level of concentration--

4. –Volatile Mix .--
Rank: b
Range: -- Long Range.--
Description: -- Has the ability to vaporize any aqueous solution. Turning it into a cloud of the mixture that remains in the air for 4 posts --
I actually have an issue here. Keeping in mind that this is a RP, I would recommend that you select a few certain chemicals that Sori can mix, and then list their limitations. Otherwise, its going to be very difficult to moderate.

For example:
Mixture 1: Hydrogen + Sulfur: this mixture creates a mildly poisonous gas that has a disgusting odor. When inhaled, victims will suffer from nausea and feel lightheaded. After 5 posts the victim of continuous exposure to the gas will knock the victim out.
Mixture 2: Water + Cesium: this mixture creates a violent reaction that can light a fire etc. etc.

Do you get where I'm coming from? Unless you have listed the all the techniques and capabilities of your character, this is going to be very difficult for us moderators to make a judgment.

So yeah, your profile has officially been shredded.
BAM.
[+] spoiler
Kumo
Oyami, Medusa - Genin
Kazuma, Mikura (Kazu) - Genin
Tsuya Airi - Jounin of the Tsuya Clan
Iwa
Kiriyama, Jun - Tsuchikage
Jango, Fang - Jounin of the Jango Clan
Jango, Tsubasa - Genin
Kousen, Manabu - Chuunin
Taru, Skin - Jounin
Soudou, Ronin - Elite Jounin
Kiri
Miri, Mikki of the Miri Clan - Genin
OTHER
Kuroko, Mania (The Black Horseman, Famine) - B Rank Missing
Kuroko, Sora - Academy Student
Kuroko, Ren - Genin
Reidou, Akuma of the Reidou Clan - S rank Missing Nin

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dunnsavo
Elite Jounin
Joined: October 13th, 2011, 10:12 pm

October 24th, 2011, 3:15 am #3

just a note simple does have a definition in chemistry as does small the both tend to be cut off at 500 Daltons or roughly 500 individual atoms. her current limit is closer to 150 atoms per molecule.
and i was trying to get as close to alchemy as i could without shit getting to broken to be approved. the synthesis jutsu would need to have several thousand capabilities to do as it needs to so could i make it of no use in combat and just use it to do things like say make water out of thin air as long as their was oxygen and hydrogen present. or make glucose out of a twig. in combat my character would mainly be support and healing out side is where she will be making medicines and such out of a piece of wood or sometimes even thin air.
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Milleni
Legendary Ninja
Joined: February 11th, 2010, 2:01 am

October 24th, 2011, 3:23 am #4

Fix up what you can first. When you're done, just post here saying "Fixed" or the sorts.
I'll take another look at it.
[+] spoiler
Kumo
Oyami, Medusa - Genin
Kazuma, Mikura (Kazu) - Genin
Tsuya Airi - Jounin of the Tsuya Clan
Iwa
Kiriyama, Jun - Tsuchikage
Jango, Fang - Jounin of the Jango Clan
Jango, Tsubasa - Genin
Kousen, Manabu - Chuunin
Taru, Skin - Jounin
Soudou, Ronin - Elite Jounin
Kiri
Miri, Mikki of the Miri Clan - Genin
OTHER
Kuroko, Mania (The Black Horseman, Famine) - B Rank Missing
Kuroko, Sora - Academy Student
Kuroko, Ren - Genin
Reidou, Akuma of the Reidou Clan - S rank Missing Nin

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dunnsavo
Elite Jounin
Joined: October 13th, 2011, 10:12 pm

October 24th, 2011, 4:13 am #5

Fixed
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Milleni
Legendary Ninja
Joined: February 11th, 2010, 2:01 am

October 24th, 2011, 4:50 am #6

Okay generally, a good fix.

However, reading this a second time I still stand by my opinion on actually listing the gases you can create, especially for Volatile Mix.
wrote:8. –Volatile Mix .--
Rank: b
Range: -- Long Range.--
Description: -- Has the ability to vaporize any aqueous solution. By releasing a small amount of chakra to reduce the inter-molecular forces to almost nonexistent and allowing them to move to their gaseous phase. Turning it into a cloud of the mixture that remains in the air for 4 posts --
This is clearly a jutsu that can be used in battle, and you really need to list the potential effects this jutsu can impose. This is the same for all poison based characters on the site. They are asked to list all their poisons and their effects on their profile before they are approved.

My recommendation is that select a few mild mixtures for now since Sori is only Genin rank. WHen she progresses to chuunin rank, her knowledge in chemistry will naturally expand and just add more mixtures onto that, and so on so forth.



[+] spoiler
Kumo
Oyami, Medusa - Genin
Kazuma, Mikura (Kazu) - Genin
Tsuya Airi - Jounin of the Tsuya Clan
Iwa
Kiriyama, Jun - Tsuchikage
Jango, Fang - Jounin of the Jango Clan
Jango, Tsubasa - Genin
Kousen, Manabu - Chuunin
Taru, Skin - Jounin
Soudou, Ronin - Elite Jounin
Kiri
Miri, Mikki of the Miri Clan - Genin
OTHER
Kuroko, Mania (The Black Horseman, Famine) - B Rank Missing
Kuroko, Sora - Academy Student
Kuroko, Ren - Genin
Reidou, Akuma of the Reidou Clan - S rank Missing Nin

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dunnsavo
Elite Jounin
Joined: October 13th, 2011, 10:12 pm

October 24th, 2011, 1:03 pm #7

i made a list of some mixtures for now more will be added before she become chunnin to make her adaptable.

the list is in my inventory that should make the modding easier
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Milleni
Legendary Ninja
Joined: February 11th, 2010, 2:01 am

October 24th, 2011, 1:48 pm #8

Good enough for first approval
Congratulations!

You have received your

One more and you are ready to roleplay!
[+] spoiler
Kumo
Oyami, Medusa - Genin
Kazuma, Mikura (Kazu) - Genin
Tsuya Airi - Jounin of the Tsuya Clan
Iwa
Kiriyama, Jun - Tsuchikage
Jango, Fang - Jounin of the Jango Clan
Jango, Tsubasa - Genin
Kousen, Manabu - Chuunin
Taru, Skin - Jounin
Soudou, Ronin - Elite Jounin
Kiri
Miri, Mikki of the Miri Clan - Genin
OTHER
Kuroko, Mania (The Black Horseman, Famine) - B Rank Missing
Kuroko, Sora - Academy Student
Kuroko, Ren - Genin
Reidou, Akuma of the Reidou Clan - S rank Missing Nin

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dunnsavo
Elite Jounin
Joined: October 13th, 2011, 10:12 pm

October 24th, 2011, 2:06 pm #9

what changes need to be made for second
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Shinichi Fukamachi
Legendary Ninja
Joined: June 20th, 2009, 10:24 pm

October 24th, 2011, 2:25 pm #10

Looks good to me.
Congratulations!

You have received your

You are now free to roleplay! Have fun!
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