Need support - just found out co-worker is pregnant (x-post)

Need support - just found out co-worker is pregnant (x-post)

Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 12th, 2011, 11:41 pm #1

I have been kinda quiet the last several months, but a co-worker just pulled me aside to tell me she is pregnant. She knows how long I've been trying and wanted to tell me before announcing wide, which I appreciate. We are a small office of 15 people, so this is going to be really tough for me. I'm happy for her, but just so sad for myself. How have those of you handled watching someones baby bump grow. I know it is a common issue....but since my company is so small, this is the first time I'm having to deal with it. Ugh.....I need to get out of here so I can cry.

xoxo, Tracy


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jnoels
jnoels

September 13th, 2011, 12:28 am #2

I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. I know exactly what you're going through and feeling, and I'm sure lots of other women here to do. It's hard not to feel jealous and angry, and feeling jealous and angry feels like crap.

I can say that some days it will be no big deal, and you'll be able to ask her questions and share in the excitement, and other days it will be all you can do to hold it together until you can scream/cry alone in the bathroom/car. Don't beat yourself up for how you're feeling, and when you can, and if you need to, excuse yourself. You will be ok, and it will get easier.

I'm really sorry you're having a tough day. I hope the rest of the week gets easier.
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Cee
Cee

September 13th, 2011, 12:59 am #3

I have been kinda quiet the last several months, but a co-worker just pulled me aside to tell me she is pregnant. She knows how long I've been trying and wanted to tell me before announcing wide, which I appreciate. We are a small office of 15 people, so this is going to be really tough for me. I'm happy for her, but just so sad for myself. How have those of you handled watching someones baby bump grow. I know it is a common issue....but since my company is so small, this is the first time I'm having to deal with it. Ugh.....I need to get out of here so I can cry.

xoxo, Tracy

I know how hard it is, my best friend just announced over Labor Day weekend that she is expecting too. I think your co-worker was very nice to pull you aside and tell you personally though, before she announced it to everyone else.

We're all here for you. Unfortunately it's a situation we all have to deal with many times through this journey...
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Alli
Alli

September 13th, 2011, 12:59 am #4

I have been kinda quiet the last several months, but a co-worker just pulled me aside to tell me she is pregnant. She knows how long I've been trying and wanted to tell me before announcing wide, which I appreciate. We are a small office of 15 people, so this is going to be really tough for me. I'm happy for her, but just so sad for myself. How have those of you handled watching someones baby bump grow. I know it is a common issue....but since my company is so small, this is the first time I'm having to deal with it. Ugh.....I need to get out of here so I can cry.

xoxo, Tracy

That made a difference with me. I had an office door I could close or Ipod headphones to listen to when she came around. But she was awful- complaining about being pregnant EVERY day. She needed all the attention on her so would tell everyone (including male attorneys) that she was spotting or had contractions, blah, blah, blah. She chugged Mt. Dew and did everything you weren't supposed to do! I know how to deal with someone I didnt like, but not a close friend. The key is avoidance!! I also had a small office so it is harder.

Sounds as this girl was very sweet to tell you first. That was thoughtful of her. Maybe someone can chime in on dealing with someone you like.

Btw- I became pregnant with the triplets when she was about 7 months and it KILLED her. Then she proceeded to argue with me that triplets dont need 4000 calories a day (despite my dr's advice) and Ill never lose the post baby weight the way I was eating. Guess who still has 40 lbs on their butt now??
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Joined: May 20th, 2011, 1:32 pm

September 13th, 2011, 1:31 am #5

I have been kinda quiet the last several months, but a co-worker just pulled me aside to tell me she is pregnant. She knows how long I've been trying and wanted to tell me before announcing wide, which I appreciate. We are a small office of 15 people, so this is going to be really tough for me. I'm happy for her, but just so sad for myself. How have those of you handled watching someones baby bump grow. I know it is a common issue....but since my company is so small, this is the first time I'm having to deal with it. Ugh.....I need to get out of here so I can cry.

xoxo, Tracy

Well, I feel your pain my SIL who is 7 years older that I am is pg as of last month!! and that made me crazy insane and I went to therapy. This Saturday I spoke with my therapist and these are her advice and believe it or not it helped me, I know some dont make sense and its not logical but she said emotion isnt logical so here are couple of lines I repeat to myself and it helped me

1- When we all were born we chose a challenge to come to this world and that was the challenged assigned to me
2- One day, one way or another I will be a mom, OE, DE, whatever it will happen so why ruin today. I KNOW it will happen sooner or later, I KNOW IT
3- She asked me 4 years ago how did I feel about starving people in Africa or someone in wheelchair compare with today I said I felt bad but I never knew what pain was before my IF problem and now I do feel their pain she advised me to look at IF as a bridge that connects me to other people, as a way to see the world and appreciate good more because now we know how lucky we are to be able to walk, etc

I am not sure if that helps you or not, but she did help me. I was so out of everything when I heard her news, every day I prayed for my own death. If you want I can give you this therapist info. She is in Beverly Hills and accept blue cross so my copayment is $20, she also works weekend I see her Sat mornings


Age=28
FSH=28, AOAB, endo stage 4, right overy very small, left overy covered with endo,1st IVf with 2 follicle failed abnormal egg didnt fertilize, DE speech Ugh...
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Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 13th, 2011, 2:38 am #6

That made a difference with me. I had an office door I could close or Ipod headphones to listen to when she came around. But she was awful- complaining about being pregnant EVERY day. She needed all the attention on her so would tell everyone (including male attorneys) that she was spotting or had contractions, blah, blah, blah. She chugged Mt. Dew and did everything you weren't supposed to do! I know how to deal with someone I didnt like, but not a close friend. The key is avoidance!! I also had a small office so it is harder.

Sounds as this girl was very sweet to tell you first. That was thoughtful of her. Maybe someone can chime in on dealing with someone you like.

Btw- I became pregnant with the triplets when she was about 7 months and it KILLED her. Then she proceeded to argue with me that triplets dont need 4000 calories a day (despite my dr's advice) and Ill never lose the post baby weight the way I was eating. Guess who still has 40 lbs on their butt now??
I will be taking your avoidance advice. She and I aren't close, so there isn't that issue....but my office is so darn small, we all eat lunch together almost every single day......I'm really going to have to rethink that. She is pretty private, so hopefully won't be over sharing. Your co-worker would be my worst nightmare!! Telling me first was a very considerate thing to do. She said that she had a m/c in the Spring and it made her feel bad for not being more understanding when I was going through mine. A few co-workers were kinda crummy to me when I was open about ttc. I think it was because I am singe. In any case, I'm now very private, so nobody knows exactly what is up with me and that makes it easier. So, your avoidance sounds like the ticket! Thanks so much for sharing. I had the thought of what if I end up finally getting pg. at the same time as her and I hope it wouldn't then turn into a comparison thing. LOL!! Next, comparing how the kids are doing in school! It never stops. Thanks for the giggle.

xoxo, Tracy

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Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 13th, 2011, 2:40 am #7

I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. I know exactly what you're going through and feeling, and I'm sure lots of other women here to do. It's hard not to feel jealous and angry, and feeling jealous and angry feels like crap.

I can say that some days it will be no big deal, and you'll be able to ask her questions and share in the excitement, and other days it will be all you can do to hold it together until you can scream/cry alone in the bathroom/car. Don't beat yourself up for how you're feeling, and when you can, and if you need to, excuse yourself. You will be ok, and it will get easier.

I'm really sorry you're having a tough day. I hope the rest of the week gets easier.
I do think just knowing that it will be an emotional roller coaster and that that is ok, is the key....I'll get through it. I feel better already just reading the helpful hints. I had already planned to take Friday off, so at least it will be a short week!

xoxo, Tracy

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Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 13th, 2011, 2:42 am #8

I know how hard it is, my best friend just announced over Labor Day weekend that she is expecting too. I think your co-worker was very nice to pull you aside and tell you personally though, before she announced it to everyone else.

We're all here for you. Unfortunately it's a situation we all have to deal with many times through this journey...
You are going through it too. My first thought was, I'll just get a new job....get out of here, but heck, I might end up someplace with several pregnant women! It is indeed a situation we just have to deal with. Thanks for the reply.

xoxo, Tracy


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Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 13th, 2011, 2:46 am #9

Well, I feel your pain my SIL who is 7 years older that I am is pg as of last month!! and that made me crazy insane and I went to therapy. This Saturday I spoke with my therapist and these are her advice and believe it or not it helped me, I know some dont make sense and its not logical but she said emotion isnt logical so here are couple of lines I repeat to myself and it helped me

1- When we all were born we chose a challenge to come to this world and that was the challenged assigned to me
2- One day, one way or another I will be a mom, OE, DE, whatever it will happen so why ruin today. I KNOW it will happen sooner or later, I KNOW IT
3- She asked me 4 years ago how did I feel about starving people in Africa or someone in wheelchair compare with today I said I felt bad but I never knew what pain was before my IF problem and now I do feel their pain she advised me to look at IF as a bridge that connects me to other people, as a way to see the world and appreciate good more because now we know how lucky we are to be able to walk, etc

I am not sure if that helps you or not, but she did help me. I was so out of everything when I heard her news, every day I prayed for my own death. If you want I can give you this therapist info. She is in Beverly Hills and accept blue cross so my copayment is $20, she also works weekend I see her Sat mornings


Age=28
FSH=28, AOAB, endo stage 4, right overy very small, left overy covered with endo,1st IVf with 2 follicle failed abnormal egg didnt fertilize, DE speech Ugh...
The one about being more compassionate really resonated with me. I feel so much more connected to the world in general after going through so much pain and having received so much support from the kindness of strangers on these boards...many who are now friends. I am forever changed for the better because of that. I would like to get the name of that therapist. You can e-mail it to me at kittygirltx AT yahoo DOT com . I'm glad you are feeling better!

xoxo, Tracy

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lucy999
lucy999

September 13th, 2011, 2:14 pm #10

I have been kinda quiet the last several months, but a co-worker just pulled me aside to tell me she is pregnant. She knows how long I've been trying and wanted to tell me before announcing wide, which I appreciate. We are a small office of 15 people, so this is going to be really tough for me. I'm happy for her, but just so sad for myself. How have those of you handled watching someones baby bump grow. I know it is a common issue....but since my company is so small, this is the first time I'm having to deal with it. Ugh.....I need to get out of here so I can cry.

xoxo, Tracy

cyber hugs. I know how much that hurts. it is hard to know how to act because it is a tough situation. i have been there because my entire family is made up of fertile bunnies. Wish I could give you a hug. Take it easy. I am glad she told you first. I would hate to be surprised. that is really tough. So sorry.
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