And this cycle is a bust... :-(

And this cycle is a bust... :-(

Sara H.
Sara H.

May 16th, 2011, 4:42 pm #1

Just got back from Cooper. I had a great surge on Friday and followed up with a trigger shot Friday night. When down there for the sonogram today... the follicles are still there, one slightly smaller one exactly the same. (one 17.3 and one 11, down from 13... if they can tell which is which?)

I asked to speak to a nurse and got Kathy (loved her!) First we thought I was there too early but once we figured out that had told her the wrong day that I triggered (oops!) we realized that the follicles did not rupture at all!

WHAT? So, another thing wrong??? I burst into tears and she could not have been kinder.

I also messed up my meds and kept taking my E. after I was supposed to stop but she said that was not the biggest issue ever.

She said I had a great response to the E. and that we were on the right path and I was at the right place for this. At first we had talked about me coming back tomorrow/this week and what blood work I needed and such but when I told her I was self pay and also trying to go see my mother this week in CT, she was so sweet and said that actually it was just to confirm what really she already knew and we could skip it this month.

She wrote out my instructions (I guess just in case something did happen they are putting me on Progesterone and Estrace {which I already have since I have a Fairy-Good-Mother}) but said that, though she had seen a BFP's in the past from something similar, not to get my hopes up at all. (I really appreciate that since I would rather be upset now that let my brain hope for two weeks and be worse off then. Kinda' nice to skip the 2ww.)

Interestingly, I did not know I HAD been getting my hopes up really at all until I was there, you know? I really didn't. But I guess that since everything had been going so very well in the last two weeks I had let it go to my head a good bit more than I realized.

But, how good could two follicles that popped up in 6 days really be anyway? Wasn't there a big chance they would be immature?

She told me next cycle they could try to trigger me with other stuff and see if that does it.

She was so kind and gentle with me I asked if I could give her a hug and she said yes. You know, that really means the world sometimes. I am tearing up as I even write this. And she gave me a great hug!

I guess it just really knocked my knees out from under me since, like failing the post-coital, I was just NOT expecting this, to go in and find them not ruptured. Has this happened every month???

So, I'm out this time.

If anyone has any insight I'd really love to read it, if not thank you for being here for me to vent to...

Hugs and may everyone else have better luck!
Sara H.
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LNY
LNY

May 16th, 2011, 5:24 pm #2

Really sorry to hear this Sara. I thought you looked like you were in with a great chance. Isn't there a chance that the 17.5mm follicle will grow still or does it mean that since the 13mm went down to 11mm that you are now past the ovulation phase? Big hugs to you.
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Tanya
Tanya

May 16th, 2011, 5:24 pm #3

Just got back from Cooper. I had a great surge on Friday and followed up with a trigger shot Friday night. When down there for the sonogram today... the follicles are still there, one slightly smaller one exactly the same. (one 17.3 and one 11, down from 13... if they can tell which is which?)

I asked to speak to a nurse and got Kathy (loved her!) First we thought I was there too early but once we figured out that had told her the wrong day that I triggered (oops!) we realized that the follicles did not rupture at all!

WHAT? So, another thing wrong??? I burst into tears and she could not have been kinder.

I also messed up my meds and kept taking my E. after I was supposed to stop but she said that was not the biggest issue ever.

She said I had a great response to the E. and that we were on the right path and I was at the right place for this. At first we had talked about me coming back tomorrow/this week and what blood work I needed and such but when I told her I was self pay and also trying to go see my mother this week in CT, she was so sweet and said that actually it was just to confirm what really she already knew and we could skip it this month.

She wrote out my instructions (I guess just in case something did happen they are putting me on Progesterone and Estrace {which I already have since I have a Fairy-Good-Mother}) but said that, though she had seen a BFP's in the past from something similar, not to get my hopes up at all. (I really appreciate that since I would rather be upset now that let my brain hope for two weeks and be worse off then. Kinda' nice to skip the 2ww.)

Interestingly, I did not know I HAD been getting my hopes up really at all until I was there, you know? I really didn't. But I guess that since everything had been going so very well in the last two weeks I had let it go to my head a good bit more than I realized.

But, how good could two follicles that popped up in 6 days really be anyway? Wasn't there a big chance they would be immature?

She told me next cycle they could try to trigger me with other stuff and see if that does it.

She was so kind and gentle with me I asked if I could give her a hug and she said yes. You know, that really means the world sometimes. I am tearing up as I even write this. And she gave me a great hug!

I guess it just really knocked my knees out from under me since, like failing the post-coital, I was just NOT expecting this, to go in and find them not ruptured. Has this happened every month???

So, I'm out this time.

If anyone has any insight I'd really love to read it, if not thank you for being here for me to vent to...

Hugs and may everyone else have better luck!
Sara H.
Darn, I am so sorry Sara but it sounds like you have made good progress this month and one of the things I love about Cooper is they learn from your cycle each month. I remember when I first started monitoring, it was just straight monitoring but over the months it has progressed to doing triggers (HCG) and boosters along the way. They have also been able to better predict when I need monitoring (once a week vs. every other day).
I know all too well about getting hopes up but you need to keep believing it will happen, because it will. My counselor told me it was okay to be hopeful every month because without that hope and anticipation you have nothing to look forward too. I try to tell myself that the wait will only make me appreciate the gift that much more when it finally does happen.
Kathy is the sweetest nurse there! I hope this doesnt come across wrong but do you think maybe the follicles didnt release because you didnt use an IM needle? I bring this up because it may be important information for Cooper to know so they dont make a bad assumption you didnt release with the HCG. You may want to talk to the nurse about this just to make sure.

If I can do anything, please let me know.
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Sara Q
Sara Q

May 16th, 2011, 5:36 pm #4

Just got back from Cooper. I had a great surge on Friday and followed up with a trigger shot Friday night. When down there for the sonogram today... the follicles are still there, one slightly smaller one exactly the same. (one 17.3 and one 11, down from 13... if they can tell which is which?)

I asked to speak to a nurse and got Kathy (loved her!) First we thought I was there too early but once we figured out that had told her the wrong day that I triggered (oops!) we realized that the follicles did not rupture at all!

WHAT? So, another thing wrong??? I burst into tears and she could not have been kinder.

I also messed up my meds and kept taking my E. after I was supposed to stop but she said that was not the biggest issue ever.

She said I had a great response to the E. and that we were on the right path and I was at the right place for this. At first we had talked about me coming back tomorrow/this week and what blood work I needed and such but when I told her I was self pay and also trying to go see my mother this week in CT, she was so sweet and said that actually it was just to confirm what really she already knew and we could skip it this month.

She wrote out my instructions (I guess just in case something did happen they are putting me on Progesterone and Estrace {which I already have since I have a Fairy-Good-Mother}) but said that, though she had seen a BFP's in the past from something similar, not to get my hopes up at all. (I really appreciate that since I would rather be upset now that let my brain hope for two weeks and be worse off then. Kinda' nice to skip the 2ww.)

Interestingly, I did not know I HAD been getting my hopes up really at all until I was there, you know? I really didn't. But I guess that since everything had been going so very well in the last two weeks I had let it go to my head a good bit more than I realized.

But, how good could two follicles that popped up in 6 days really be anyway? Wasn't there a big chance they would be immature?

She told me next cycle they could try to trigger me with other stuff and see if that does it.

She was so kind and gentle with me I asked if I could give her a hug and she said yes. You know, that really means the world sometimes. I am tearing up as I even write this. And she gave me a great hug!

I guess it just really knocked my knees out from under me since, like failing the post-coital, I was just NOT expecting this, to go in and find them not ruptured. Has this happened every month???

So, I'm out this time.

If anyone has any insight I'd really love to read it, if not thank you for being here for me to vent to...

Hugs and may everyone else have better luck!
Sara H.
Dear Sara H.,

I'm so sorry that the follicles didn't release, especially since you've had such a good experience with Dr. Check thus far. This journey is a grueling one for sure.

For what it's worth, I really think that you have a good shot at this, considering how well you responded to the estradiol. I hope that you stick it out, at least for awhile.

I also want to say that although I no longer believe that karma plays out in the way that we would want or hope it to (or that life is ultimately fair or just), I know in my heart that good things are going to come your way. While I'm not on the forum as much as I used to, I do know from my limited interactions with you that you are a wonderful, warm, and loving person with an incredible attitude towards life and this struggle. Honestly, when I read your posts, I wish that I knew you in real life so that we could be friends or so I could give you a hug like that nurse did. You are going to be an incredible mother, come hell or high water. Please remember that.

Sending virtual hugs,
Sara Q
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Cee
Cee

May 16th, 2011, 5:45 pm #5

Just got back from Cooper. I had a great surge on Friday and followed up with a trigger shot Friday night. When down there for the sonogram today... the follicles are still there, one slightly smaller one exactly the same. (one 17.3 and one 11, down from 13... if they can tell which is which?)

I asked to speak to a nurse and got Kathy (loved her!) First we thought I was there too early but once we figured out that had told her the wrong day that I triggered (oops!) we realized that the follicles did not rupture at all!

WHAT? So, another thing wrong??? I burst into tears and she could not have been kinder.

I also messed up my meds and kept taking my E. after I was supposed to stop but she said that was not the biggest issue ever.

She said I had a great response to the E. and that we were on the right path and I was at the right place for this. At first we had talked about me coming back tomorrow/this week and what blood work I needed and such but when I told her I was self pay and also trying to go see my mother this week in CT, she was so sweet and said that actually it was just to confirm what really she already knew and we could skip it this month.

She wrote out my instructions (I guess just in case something did happen they are putting me on Progesterone and Estrace {which I already have since I have a Fairy-Good-Mother}) but said that, though she had seen a BFP's in the past from something similar, not to get my hopes up at all. (I really appreciate that since I would rather be upset now that let my brain hope for two weeks and be worse off then. Kinda' nice to skip the 2ww.)

Interestingly, I did not know I HAD been getting my hopes up really at all until I was there, you know? I really didn't. But I guess that since everything had been going so very well in the last two weeks I had let it go to my head a good bit more than I realized.

But, how good could two follicles that popped up in 6 days really be anyway? Wasn't there a big chance they would be immature?

She told me next cycle they could try to trigger me with other stuff and see if that does it.

She was so kind and gentle with me I asked if I could give her a hug and she said yes. You know, that really means the world sometimes. I am tearing up as I even write this. And she gave me a great hug!

I guess it just really knocked my knees out from under me since, like failing the post-coital, I was just NOT expecting this, to go in and find them not ruptured. Has this happened every month???

So, I'm out this time.

If anyone has any insight I'd really love to read it, if not thank you for being here for me to vent to...

Hugs and may everyone else have better luck!
Sara H.
That just stinks, I think we can ALL relate! But the same thing happened to me Sara. Did they have you trigger with hCG or ovidrel? If so, they'll probably have you do a Lupron trigger next time (that's what they did with me - said I needed something a little stronger to get me to release).

You take 2 Lupron shots 12 hours apart, then take the hCG shot 40 hours after the first Lupron shot, once release is confirmed. I did it this last time and it worked.

GL moving forward!
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Joined: November 11th, 2010, 2:23 am

May 16th, 2011, 6:00 pm #6

HI Sara,
Sorry this happened. But I have been thru this several times...esp after a trigger shot the follicle never ruptured and just turned int a huge cyst (for me). I think I had posted on here too about this.

The fact is with high FSH no one can predict how good the egg inside the follicle is. If the egg is bad quality then it just stays inside and doesn't rupture (Dr. Sher had an article about this). SO its not an empty follicle just that the egg is not healthy enough to rupture out.

The good news for you is you are responding to the treatment and they are willing to try diff meds next time.

So as disappointing as this was I would have my chin up for the next round.

GL!

gisg
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Sara H.
Sara H.

May 16th, 2011, 6:26 pm #7

Darn, I am so sorry Sara but it sounds like you have made good progress this month and one of the things I love about Cooper is they learn from your cycle each month. I remember when I first started monitoring, it was just straight monitoring but over the months it has progressed to doing triggers (HCG) and boosters along the way. They have also been able to better predict when I need monitoring (once a week vs. every other day).
I know all too well about getting hopes up but you need to keep believing it will happen, because it will. My counselor told me it was okay to be hopeful every month because without that hope and anticipation you have nothing to look forward too. I try to tell myself that the wait will only make me appreciate the gift that much more when it finally does happen.
Kathy is the sweetest nurse there! I hope this doesnt come across wrong but do you think maybe the follicles didnt release because you didnt use an IM needle? I bring this up because it may be important information for Cooper to know so they dont make a bad assumption you didnt release with the HCG. You may want to talk to the nurse about this just to make sure.

If I can do anything, please let me know.
About doing the shot in my shoulder (she said that was fine and she did it all the time) and I know it was in the muscle since all the next and, and still today, it is soar like a flu shot. (My GP uses the short needles for my shoulder, too.) I also know it was in my system since I peed on a stick on Sunday and got two nice clear lines... sadly the only time I have ever seen that on a HPT... fingers crossed not the last!

Good thought, though!

Thanks!
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Sara H.
Sara H.

May 16th, 2011, 6:28 pm #8

Really sorry to hear this Sara. I thought you looked like you were in with a great chance. Isn't there a chance that the 17.5mm follicle will grow still or does it mean that since the 13mm went down to 11mm that you are now past the ovulation phase? Big hugs to you.
according to her the window was passed. (I asked about another trigger or more Menapur but she said it was fine to start progesterone, nothing was going to change at this point.)

Thank you, good thought!
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Sara H.
Sara H.

May 16th, 2011, 6:30 pm #9

Dear Sara H.,

I'm so sorry that the follicles didn't release, especially since you've had such a good experience with Dr. Check thus far. This journey is a grueling one for sure.

For what it's worth, I really think that you have a good shot at this, considering how well you responded to the estradiol. I hope that you stick it out, at least for awhile.

I also want to say that although I no longer believe that karma plays out in the way that we would want or hope it to (or that life is ultimately fair or just), I know in my heart that good things are going to come your way. While I'm not on the forum as much as I used to, I do know from my limited interactions with you that you are a wonderful, warm, and loving person with an incredible attitude towards life and this struggle. Honestly, when I read your posts, I wish that I knew you in real life so that we could be friends or so I could give you a hug like that nurse did. You are going to be an incredible mother, come hell or high water. Please remember that.

Sending virtual hugs,
Sara Q
Sara Q! Thank you so much! I feel the same about you, the "other" Sara!
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tanya
tanya

May 16th, 2011, 6:32 pm #10

About doing the shot in my shoulder (she said that was fine and she did it all the time) and I know it was in the muscle since all the next and, and still today, it is soar like a flu shot. (My GP uses the short needles for my shoulder, too.) I also know it was in my system since I peed on a stick on Sunday and got two nice clear lines... sadly the only time I have ever seen that on a HPT... fingers crossed not the last!

Good thought, though!

Thanks!
I know it is a bummer but it is good that Cooper is determining that perhaps you didn't realease. I read recently that someone took Lupron to release so maybe that is what they will prescribe you. Sending you a big HUG!!!!
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