Wrong Number

Teagan De Danaan
Muse Monger Gold Medal Meddler
Teagan De Danaan
Muse Monger Gold Medal Meddler
Joined: February 6th, 2008, 10:08 am

April 20th, 2018, 4:33 am #1

Wrong Number
 
On the stained green wall of the Laundromat
a telephone sounds
burr burr, burr burr.
burr burr, burr burr
burr burr, burr burr.
continually sounding
the light from the street lamp outside shines in
and in the shadowy darkness
we see the outline of the old lady lying on the floor
her head nestled in a pillow of laundry
the black pool of blood still pulses out
staining the newly washed and folded garments
and socks and underpants framing the scene.
 
On the stained green wall of the Laundromat
a telephone still sounds
burr burr, burr burr.
burr burr, burr burr
burr burr, burr burr
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Shadow Angel
Platinum Medal Meddler
Shadow Angel
Platinum Medal Meddler
Joined: February 5th, 2008, 6:12 am

April 21st, 2018, 8:38 am #2

~ dear Teags....this poem is so impactful...

The imagery is graphic ...which it why I've moved this to our dark poetry forum...

With that said...I totally love what you did on this one. ...opening with the phone ringing......then the very sad scene....then ending with the phone ringing....that was a killer closing. ...pun intended he he

Love and light
Sash xo
[attachment=0]file:///storage/emulated/0/Download/7ff257349460dc7d0057e8807a4d471279650da.gif[/attachment]

Owner of Muse Mongers Motel
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Periwinkle Poet
Muse Monger Bronze Medal Meddler
Periwinkle Poet
Muse Monger Bronze Medal Meddler
Joined: April 2nd, 2011, 3:34 pm

April 28th, 2018, 2:36 am #3

Wow, such things can happen, so awfully heart wrenching to imagine. You did it. 

ox
Kathy
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Teagan De Danaan
Muse Monger Gold Medal Meddler
Teagan De Danaan
Muse Monger Gold Medal Meddler
Joined: February 6th, 2008, 10:08 am

April 28th, 2018, 7:08 am #4

Shadow Angel wrote: ~   dear Teags....this poem is so impactful...

The imagery is graphic ...which it why I've moved this to our dark poetry forum...

With that said...I totally love what you did on this one. ...opening with the phone ringing......then the very sad scene....then ending with the phone ringing....that was a killer closing. ...pun intended he he

Love and light
Sash xo
Thanks Sasha Glad you liked it
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Teagan De Danaan
Muse Monger Gold Medal Meddler
Teagan De Danaan
Muse Monger Gold Medal Meddler
Joined: February 6th, 2008, 10:08 am

April 28th, 2018, 7:09 am #5

Periwinkle Poet wrote: Wow, such things can happen, so awfully heart wrenching to imagine. You did it. 

ox
Kathy
They can Kathy, I tried to be more ambivalent 
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Inspired8
Muse Monger
Inspired8
Muse Monger
Joined: July 4th, 2009, 6:06 pm

August 24th, 2018, 9:25 am #6

What a part of a movie script this would be...kinda like a Hitchcock thriller...
cheers
vic 
 "They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. "
Edgar Allan Poe
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