Raindrops keep falling on my head

Raindrops keep falling on my head

Sophie Malfoy
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Joined: May 15th, 2014, 12:06 am

September 23rd, 2014, 2:16 am #1

Sitting curled up in the window seat, Sophie gazed out the window at the heavy rainstorm happening outside. Raindrops slammed violently against the windowpane. Life had changed a lot lately. She was in a new country and had a new school. She had been having dinner every so often with her father, taking the time to get to know him. Her aunts and uncles seemed nice, or at the very least interesting. It was something new to her, having all this family. All of her life she had literally just had her grandparents and her mother, that was it. She was partially fond of Phoenix so far.

Lightning flashed in the sky and a sad smile crossed her face. She used to be terrified of thunderstorms as a child. Her mother was her safe haven. She swore she had a sixth sense about it. It could be in the dead of the night and before she even had a chance to scream, she was there to sooth her. The familiar ache came back to her chest and she sighed. Did someone ever get over the pain of losing someone do incredibly close to them? Was it even possible? Most days she felt like curling up in a ball and never getting out of bed. She went through the motions of everyday life, just to please people. No one wanted someone who say around in tears all day. So she but back the tears, swallowed her sobs and always waited until nighttime came before she cried silent tears as she fell asleep.

She heard footsteps coming up from behind her and she sighed. She was hiding from the watchful eyes of her father and she kind of didn't want to be found right now. She closed her eyes, trying to force the pain and tightness from her chest before turning up look at whoever had arrived.

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Talon Auburn
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Joined: July 15th, 2014, 4:57 pm

September 23rd, 2014, 3:44 am #2

Rain meant Talon could not leave the castle in order to escape its mundaneness. Not that he minded the mundane, but when everyone was cooped up in the castle, just as they were all winter, the mundane became overwhelming. People got bored, and they decided to notice Talon, sitting quietly in a corner by himself. He didn't need to be noticed today, and he didn't feel like walking out into the rain and mud. He might not care about his life, but that didn't mean he wanted to be uncomfortable, wet, and cold to boot.

Sitting in the common room was a bad idea; it was the easiest way to get noticed. Curse the stupid Sorting Hat who'd decided to sort him into Gryffindor seven years ago. Sure, it might have suited Talon then. He used to be a pretty happy guy with a lot of energy, and he had fit right in with his house. But now he didn't fit in anywhere. He didn't want to. He didn't even want to be alive, but his family had to go and find him before he could finish himself off, and had saved him because they couldn't dare to lose another child. And then he'd been forced into therapy, and then his brilliant therapist had decided that two years after the death of his younger brother, he was suddenly able to attend school again. Yeah, fantastic. Attend school, but back in his fifth year with all the fifteen and sixteen year olds, instead of seventh year with his old peers who were his age. He wasn't sure what he preferred: the fifth years who looked at him like the moody older guy, or the seventh years who used to be his friends. He didn't care for either.

No, the common room was definitely out of the question. Talon knew he'd be much better off in an empty classroom somewhere. The study area wasn't as quiet as he'd liked, and the students there had bad attitudes when it came to Talon listening to his music. But in an empty classroom he could lock the door, keep the lights out, and blast his music into his ears as loud as he liked without anyone around to complain.

Headphones over his ears, Talon walked into the first empty classroom he came across on the sixth floor. Once inside, he used his wand to wave out the lights that had been left on, shut the door, and turned back around to find some corner to sit in.
When he did, he stopped dead in his tracks, his heart beating wildly in his chest as a flash of lightning outside revealed the silhouette of a girl, sitting in the window.
Talon cursed rather loudly, pulling his headphones off and casting the lights back on. He pocketed his wand once he realised it was just a girl, not any strange type of creature. Not that he'd really defend himself much, but if it had ended up being something simply annoying, he couldn't be annoyed to death.
"You shouldn't be in here," he said, not knowing quite what else to say. "Get back to your common room and play exploding snap with your friends or whatever it is you... what? Second year? First? Whatever years do." Of course he had no authority to kick her out of the classroom, and she had been there first, but Talon wasn't in the mood to deal with a kid. He was here to avoid people.

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Sophie Malfoy
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September 23rd, 2014, 2:53 pm #3

Before she could even see who it was, the lights went out and the door shut, leaving her alone in the dark room with someone that she couldn't see. Lightning flashed making everything seem even more petrifying. Normally she wasn't so jumpy but her father had been following her around because of a girl getting killed in the school. Was this the moment that her life would end? How would her dad react? She swallowed and closed her eyes as she heard curses flying out of the strangers mouth.

Through her closed eyes, the lights came back on and she opened them slowly, finding herself staring at the scowling boy in front of her. She stared at him for a moment, allowing the beating of her heart to settle back to normal. It wasn't some monster come to kill her, it was just a haunted looking boy. He had the look and she automatically felt a connection spark. She might be completely off the mark, but she felt like he'd lost someone as well.

His words were sharp and she raises her eyebrows. She wanted to ask where it was he thought she should be but he answered for her. "I haven't really made many so far. And exploding snap is far from my idea of an entertaining pastime." Her voice was heavy with her French accent and she stared at him through wide inquisitive eyes. "I'm not going back to the common room. I'm sitting right here, continuing to state out the window." She mumbled and turned to stare out the window. "I'm a first year, and I'm not exactly sure what people do for fun around here except all these older kids thinking the run the whole school. News flash, they don't. The headmaster does." She stated simply, never bothering to turn around.

"Feel free to stay, I don't mind." She smiled as she stared at the window, content with turning the tables on him. It was like she was the one allowing him to stay. The smile disappeared and she turned her eyes on him. "Oh, and just because you are miserable, doesn't mean that you should expect everyone else to be miserable as well." She gave him a pointed look. She was miserable in a foreign place. Phoenix and her father were pretty much the reason she hadn't went crazy yet. "I don't expect it of anyone and neither should you."

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Talon Auburn
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September 24th, 2014, 11:08 pm #4

Talon had a slew of words he might normally say in this situation, or else actions he might do. He'd already said a string of words he probably shouldn't have. Because this was a first year standing before him. She was twelve at the oldest, and there were just some words that someone her age should not hear. And so Talon was forced to hold back any colourful language that might usually slip off his tongue. He didn't like having to be careful, but it gave him something else to focus on. Something other than how this girl was the same age Bentley had been when he was sick. No, Talon definitely wasn't thinking about that.

"Exploding snap is f... realy annoying," Talon agreed. He hated it when anyone played the stupid card game around him. It was distracting, sure, but it was more annoying than anything. His heart went out to the girl, though, because she hadn't made any friends. Usually by the second term, friendships were established.
"I haven't really made any either," Talon heard himself say. Although in his case, he wasn't trying. He even had friends from before, but he'd been avoiding those. He was pretty good at it, too. Although he figured it would only be a matter of time. Thankfully, it was April. Term was nearly over.

He had to admire her determination to stay right where she was. There he was, a seventeen year old male, telling her, a first year, to get out. And she'd said no. It was amusing, to say the least.
"Yeah, well. The headmaster can go, f-uh... away," he said, faltering when he realised he should probably censor his words.

When she invited him to stay, Talon actually considered it. He could leave and find another classroom, but that would mean going back out and possibly encountering someone. At least if he stayed in here, there was only one person who could potentially bother him. But did he really want to lock himself in a room with a first year? If she stayed quiet and stared out the window it would be fine. He could put his headphones on and drown out the world in his music. No problems there.
"I'm not-" Talon glared at her when she called him out for being miserable. Was it really that obvious? "I don't expect anyone else to be miserable," he argued without really thinking about her words and what they might mean. "No one should have to feel miserable. Hang on, why would you expect it of anyone? What..." His question hung in the air as he looked at her, and slowly began recognising features in her face. The same features he saw whenever he made the mistake of looking in a mirror. A lack of a real smile, a dullness in the eyes, darkness around the eyelids that meant a lack of sleep. And sorrow, everyone. She had lost someone. A bloody first year, and she had lost someone.
"I think I'll stay," he decided, walking forward. He pulled up a chair near the window. "If that's all right with you," he added before he could sit down. They said misery loved company, but Talon knew that to be true only some of the time. Mostly, he preferred to be alone. But he couldn't bring himself to leave this girl alone in here to stare out the window at the rain. Not if that's not what she wanted.

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Sophie Malfoy
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September 27th, 2014, 3:56 pm #5

Sophie watched him, her eyes scanning his face. The face really was the part of the body she paid attention to the most. It took someone skilled to keep emotion off of their face, a talent she herself had been taught since she was old enough to understand. All of her life her grandfather had driven it into her mind that showing her emotions were a sigh if weakness. It didn't matter what it was, she was expected not to show it. She was to keep her emotions in private. Her mother on the other hand supporter her. She felt like emotions and feelings were what separated everyone. As for Sophie? Well she was started to get used to this, you are allowed your own opinion thing.

"At my old school, they didn't care as much for that game." She shrugged, enjoying the feeling of it. She shrugged a lot these days. Her grandfather hated it and it felt fitting. She looked at him in surprise. He didn't make friends easily either? She missed her old friends, but the letters weren't coming as frequently now. She supposed it was easier for them to go on with their lives than for her to adjust to her life. "But you are good looking. You are a bit old but still, your age group should find you attractive." She shrugged again. "In sorry. I'm analyzing things again."

Sophie hid a smile, wondering if she should admit the truth or not. That she would much rather the headmaster not go away. He was the only person she had to care about her now and she knew her grandparents wouldn't take her back. Would the Malfoys take her in? "I'm sorry. My manners are fading fast. I'm Sophie Malfoy." She hesitated before looking back at him. "I'd much rather my father not go away. He's kind of the only person I have right now."

Sometimes she truly believed she lacked the ability to fear anything. Of course she knew she could, but sometime her stubbornness had the ability to get her in trouble. She stared back at the guy as he sputtered out words and glared at her. "Yes you do. But just because you've lost someone doesn't mean that we can't be happy again. Someday." She looked back out the window. "Do you boss everyone around or just little first years?" She questioned without turning back to look at him.

Sophie turned back as he started talking again. She watched as he trailed off and took in her features. "It's strange what the face gives away, isn't it?" She spoke quietly with a bit of awe in her voice. "We are marked with the signs almost as easy to recognize as certain creatures. It leaves it mark clearly across our faces." She knew that he knew. "It's only a matter of recognizing the signs." She sighed.

"Of course you can stay. The room doesn't belong to me, though I admit I'm rather fond of this room." She turned back motioning to the chair allowing him her approval to sit down. She was surprised by the change in his voice. "It was my mother." She whispered. "You don't have to tell me yours. I just felt the need to tell you mine."

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Talon Auburn
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September 28th, 2014, 4:15 am #6

Talon felt like he was under a spotlight, the way the first year was studying his face. It made him feel uncomfortable, but he did not snap at her like he might have at someone else. Someone older. He didn't feel it was necessary to snap at a first year, especially at one who looked so innocent. She didn't seem like one of the smarmy first years most of the older kids wanted to clock in the face. She looked like one who needed a friend, or even just some company. Talon knew he wasn't the greatest company, but he could maybe try.

"Your old school... Beauxbatons?" he guessed, judging by her accent. "You transfered." That much was obvious. So not only was she a first year, but she was a first year who'd already attended two schools. No wonder she hadn't made any friends yet. "That's rough," he said emphatically.
He arched a brow at her - the most expression he'd shown in his face other than stony, dead eyes - when she started analyzing him.
"Looks don't have much to do with friendship when attitude gets in the way," he told her. "No one wants to be friends with the self-desctructive depressed guy." He paused, then added, "Especially when he doesn't want to be friends with them." What point would making friends be when he didn't plan on sticking around very long? But he wasn't going to say that to a first year. He didn't want to give her any ideas.

When the girl introduced herself as Sophie Malfoy, all expression wiped itself from Talon's face. He was glad he'd held back what he'd really wanted to say about her ... relative? Father. It likely wasn't a good idea to tell an eleven year old you wished her father would go fuck himself. It probably wasn't a good thing to say to anyone, regardless of their age.
"Oh. Sorry," he said, feeling guilty. "So the Headmaster's your dad, huh? Wish I'd known that before I said... Well, it's not that I wish he'd go away, Sophie. But it would be nice if he focused on things that weren't me. I'm no one that needs to be focused on, especially if he has other things to deal with. Like a whole school of students. And a daughter." Damn. The Headmaster's daughter. Talk about foot in mouth.

The constant ache he felt in his chest worsened as Sophie began to talk about being happy again someday. He turned his head away from her for a moment so she wouldn't see the pain on his face or his eyes well up. He tried to do as his therapist always advised - to breathe. In... and out. In and out. And again. Once he was under control and his eyes no longer threatening to spill over with tears, he turned back to her and forced a smile, t rying to ignore the tightness in his chest. "Someday," he repeated, although without conviction. He felt torn. He didn't want to lie to her, but he also didn't want to tell her how he really felt about happiness. That it had all died away from his life once Bentley lost his own. But if Sophie still held a hope for happiness, he did not want to be the person to take that from her. So he pushed away from the subject, as it was the only option he saw.
"I don't... make it a thing to boss anyone around," he said with a regretful sigh. "Sorry." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm kind of a jerk, I guess." But she wasn't deserving of his attitude. Not many people were.

As Sophie spoke of signs faces gave away, Talon couldn't help but realise the first year was wiser than most her age. He wondered what it was: her Beauxbatons education, however short it had been, or what she'd been through so young in her life. He remained silent for a while, and when she said he could stay, sat himself down on the chair. He sat backwards, his arms folded and rested on the back of the chair, facing the window. He was ready to sink into a silence when Sophie spoke again, and Talon felt his breath catch.
He'd known she'd lost someone, and he supposed if he'd paid more attention to what she'd said about her father, he would have guessed it was her mother. But hearing her say it was still a shock, and he felt a pang of sadness for her.
Her mother. And she was only eleven years old. But how old had she been when she'd lost her mother? Eleven? Or younger. Too young. Much too young to lose anyone, especially someone so close to her. Her own mother.
Unwillingly, he thought about Bentley, who'd been just her age when he'd died. Newly eleven, sick but talking about how he couldn't wait to join Talon at Hogwarts the next year. How he'd get better and Talon could show him around, and they could practise magic together once Bentley got his wand. But Bentley had never made it to September 1st. He'd never gotten to ride the Hogwarts Express, seated next to Talon where Talon would laugh at the awe on his little brother's face as the train passed the most beautiful scenery on its way to the most magical place. A place Bentley had never made it to. he'd barely made it through Christmas. Talon hadn't wanted to go back to school for his second term, but he had. He'd been in Divination when the owl came.

"My brother," Talon finally said, staring out the window at the rain outside. He pursed his lips together and shook his head, covering his mouth his one hand to hold back the sob that was trying so desperately to escape. It was two years ago, but it still felt so raw. He remembered how he felt when he'd just found out. He forced himself to look at Sophie, and then removed his hand to ask the question he needed to know. "When?"

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Sophie Malfoy
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Joined: May 15th, 2014, 12:06 am

October 11th, 2014, 2:18 pm #7

Reluctantly, Sophie turned her face away from his. She loved studying people. You could tell so much about a person simply by studying them. However there was a time and a place for everything and she didn't want to push her luck with the first person that she felt even the slightest bit of connection with that wasn't a member of her family.

"Yes." She nodded her head at the reference to her old school. Perhaps it would have been easier if she had started school here. She didn't really want to follow Phoenix around all the time, and she had found herself too intimidated to speak to the others. "I will manage." She gave him a small forced smile.

Surprise flickered across her face before disappearing. "I suppose that makes sense." She was only eleven but she didn't understand the complex complications when it came to others. She had witnessed people being incredibly mean to people but get fawned over by the same ones they were cruel to. "You don't want any friends?"

Sophie shrugged again, still welcoming the unfamiliar movement and feeling more like disrespecting her grandfather with the motion. "He's been nice so far." A pensive look came over her face. "I only met him a few months ago." She confessed and her big eyes turned to stare out the stormy window again. "It's obvious that my parents were young when they had me." She wasn't really sure why she was revealing so much to him. It just felt like it was time, and who was he going to tell? "My grandfather hated him, probably still does. So he took us away and never allowed him to see us until mothers death. I think it was more keeping my mother happy that I wasn't tossed out on a doorstep." She nodded at his words. "That makes sense." She hesitated again and sighed. "He's been more protective since the death of that...Weasley girl."

Sophie raised her eyebrows at him. She didn't want to start lecturing him or anything. He would probably leave and that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted someone who understood. Someone who knew what it felt like to cry until you couldn't breathe. To feel like closing your eyes and just succumbing to the pain. Let it consume you until all the pain was gone. "I think she would want me to be happy." She mumbled. "She always tried to make me happy." Sophie nodded. "You can be. You acted as if this room belonged to you and no one else. I like this room too." She sighed and looked at him. "If you really need it all to yourself, I will leave. It's probably easier for me to disappear than you."

Sophie stared out the window in silence. "How old was he?" Her voice was soft and had the underlining a of someone who was trying not to cry. She hated that he had lost a brother. Sure people were supposed to be older when they lost their parents but the parents were supposed to go before the kids. Siblings on the other hand...no one should have to go through that at this age.

"January." Her voice cracked and she spent several moments in silence before she had calmed herself enough to speak. "She was sick. I..she had a lot of problems having me. So she's been weak all of my life. My grandfather hated me for that. We lived with them." She was starting to almost speak in riddles. "She loved me though. That's why I got to stay. My father seems nice enough. I miss her."

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Talon Auburn
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October 22nd, 2014, 5:15 am #8

Talon felt his heart go out to this girl in a way he wished it wouldn't. He wanted to be able to walk away without a care and a chance for her to form any connections with him, but he couldn't do that now he knew what he knew. Because they did have a connection between them, as sad and depressing as it were. They had both lost someone incredibly important in their lives. It was why he'd decided to stay in the classroom with her, before he even knew who she'd lost. He'd sensed it. He'd felt it and understood it, and couldn't just allow himself to leave her there all alone.

When she asked about his friends, he wished he didn't have to answer, but found himself speaking the truth.
"I had friends," he admitted. "But I'm different now. I don't want to bring anyone down, and I don't want to form any connections with anyone right now. Most don't get it, that I like to be left alone. It's just... too hard." He didn't want her to do as he was, but he couldn't bring himself to lie to her about everything. He was afraid she'd be able to tell, and he didn't want to insult her by being dishonest.
"Most of my friends just wouldn't get along with me anymore, so it's easier to just not. I knew everyone before. They knew me before. It's just weird now, being back after being gone for two years, and seeing everyone getting on with their lives while mine stopped."

He looked at Sophie as she turned back to the window, and let what she'd just said about just having met her father sink in. From the sounds of it, she hadn't known her father - only her mother. And then she'd lost her mother and now had to live and get to know a father who was practically a stranger. "That must be hard," he said quietly. He couldn't relate, but he knew how it felt to be a part of a broken family. His brother's death has shattered the Auburn family, and he was prety sure the only thing keeping his parents together was the fact that they still had one son. It was another part of why he wanted to die and wouldn't feel bad for making his parents sad about it. Because then they'd get to move on. They would get divorced and create new families instead of being miserable being stuck together in a house where they'd watched their youngest slowly be killed by an incurable disease. They'd be better off without him. Not right away, but eventually, they would.

Talon nodded once at the mention of Reine Weasley. He hadn't known her personally, but she'd been in his year, in his classes. But this was why he hadn't made an effort to get to know new people. Sometimes they were taken from you, without warning. It had angered him, that she'd died so young, and he'd cried for her, though he'd never had a conversation with her. But selfishly, he'd been grateful they were never friends. He knew he couldn't handle a second loss. He was barely handling the first.

Talon knew that Bentley would want him to be happy, too. But what Bentley didn't understand was that Talon's happiness died with his little brother.

He grimaced guiltily. "No, stay," he said. "I don't mind sharing it with you. I just don't want to share it with a giggly, annoying first year who would tell me to 'smile because it's not like the world is ending'. But you aren't annoying." He wished she were one of those first years, though. He didn't want her to be sad, but he understood completely why she was.

It took him a moment before he could trust himself to answer her question. "He was your age," he whispered, for it was the only volume he was able to speak at around the burning lump in his throat. "Eleven. But a little younger. He never got to come here," he added, his voice cracking.
He was relieved when it was her turn to speak again, but swore under his breath when he found out her mother had died only a few months ago. He was glad, though, that she was at school, and seemed to be at least a little bit together. The few months after Bentley's death, Talon had ended up in the hospital under an intense suicide watch. But that's what happened when grief and guilt consumed you. Or maybe not. He wondered if Sophie felt any guilt for her mother's death. He wouldn't understand why she might if she did, but he hoped she didn't, because it wasn't her fault at all. It had been nothing she could control.

He nodded in understanding when Sophie said she missed her mom, and without really thinking about it, reached out his hand to take hers and squeeze it.
"Sophie," he said quietly after a few moments of silence. "Please seek me out at any time if you ever need to talk or to just be around someone. Please," he repeated. He didn't want her to ever consider what he'd tried to do. She was too young and too innocent. And even he regretted sometimes that he'd tried to take his own life. He hoped that thought never crossed her mind. Ever.
"And if you ever need to yell at someone or hit something, find me." He paused before adding, "Just know you can find me anytime for anything. I don't care if it's in the dead of the night. Sophie, I want to be your first friend here at Hogwarts."

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Sophie Malfoy
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November 7th, 2014, 11:54 pm #9

Sophie was wise for her age. Her grandparents had expected nothin less from her. She'd had chores early in life and everything that she did was supposed to have a purpose. If she were to read, it was for knowledge not for enjoyment. If she were to cook, it was for someone other than herself. Since meeting her father, things had changed. He wasn't like her grandparents. She could sense how much he cared for her, even if it was hard for him to show it. As she sat with the guy she had just met, she knew a unconventional connection had been made. They had something in common that most people didn't know and she liked it that way. People shouldn't have to hurt the way they did.

"Maybe they wouldn't care?" She found it hard to believe that people could simply forget about others. It did make her wonder if her friends in Beauxbatons missed her. Did they wonder how she was? Some wrote but it almost seemed like chore. It was a chore to answer their questions. Whether there were any cute guys? Didn't she just love their accents? Just pointless questions to make conversation. "That's true. All they are really asking about is whether the boys are cute. It's hard really. Has anyone tried to connect with you?"

"It's easier here than it was living with people who can't stand to look at you. My grandfather only put up with me because of my mom. In his mind, I'm the reason she was sick in the first place." She paused in the conversation. Things were always supposed to be perfect with her. She was supposed to play a part. She was to be strong. Weakness wasn't allowed not even when her mother had died. It was only allowed when she was alone. With her dad it was a little different. They were still new to everything but he had held her once when she cried and she hasn't felt ashamed.

Ever since Reines death, it seemed as if the whole school was on a lockdown of sorts. There had been a curfew established, people were supposed to walk in groups, and both the headmaster and deputy headmaster had suddenly been watching her like a hawk. It was kind of nice to have someone other than her mother worry about her.

"I'm not sure giggly would describe me at any point in my life." She definitely wasn't your average eleven year old girl. She wasn't sure if she had ever been considered a normal child. Perhaps as a baby she might have been considered that way. There was no point in looking back or thinking about what could have been. Even if that had been going through her head a lot lately. Imagining what it would have been like of her parents had a shot at staying together. Perhaps everything would have been different or perhaps it would have been worse.

Suddenly everything made sense to her. The reason why he never let anyone on before now. The reason that she was still sitting there with him instead of being tossed out on her butt. "Oh." She spoke quietly, her voice was almost as much of a whisper as his had been. She turned leaning her back against the window pane and wrapped her arms around her legs. "Would it help to talk about him?" She felt like her therapist or something. "I talk to a therapist about mine." She rested her chin on her knees, letting her hair fall around and frame get face, making her look even younger. "I would mind hearing about him."

Sophie glanced down in complete surprise when he took her hand. She squeezed back after a moments hesitation. "I'd like that. I don't want to bring anyone down with me but it would be nice to talk every once and awhile...with someone that truly understands." She smiled and shook her head. "You might end up regretting that offer if I end up sneaking into your dorm at two in the morning."

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Sophie Malfoy
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November 7th, 2014, 11:55 pm #10

Sophie was wise for her age. Her grandparents had expected nothin less from her. She'd had chores early in life and everything that she did was supposed to have a purpose. If she were to read, it was for knowledge not for enjoyment. If she were to cook, it was for someone other than herself. Since meeting her father, things had changed. He wasn't like her grandparents. She could sense how much he cared for her, even if it was hard for him to show it. As she sat with the guy she had just met, she knew a unconventional connection had been made. They had something in common that most people didn't know and she liked it that way. People shouldn't have to hurt the way they did.

"Maybe they wouldn't care?" She found it hard to believe that people could simply forget about others. It did make her wonder if her friends in Beauxbatons missed her. Did they wonder how she was? Some wrote but it almost seemed like chore. It was a chore to answer their questions. Whether there were any cute guys? Didn't she just love their accents? Just pointless questions to make conversation. "That's true. All they are really asking about is whether the boys are cute. It's hard really. Has anyone tried to connect with you?"

"It's easier here than it was living with people who can't stand to look at you. My grandfather only put up with me because of my mom. In his mind, I'm the reason she was sick in the first place." She paused in the conversation. Things were always supposed to be perfect with her. She was supposed to play a part. She was to be strong. Weakness wasn't allowed not even when her mother had died. It was only allowed when she was alone. With her dad it was a little different. They were still new to everything but he had held her once when she cried and she hasn't felt ashamed.

Ever since Reines death, it seemed as if the whole school was on a lockdown of sorts. There had been a curfew established, people were supposed to walk in groups, and both the headmaster and deputy headmaster had suddenly been watching her like a hawk. It was kind of nice to have someone other than her mother worry about her.

"I'm not sure giggly would describe me at any point in my life." She definitely wasn't your average eleven year old girl. She wasn't sure if she had ever been considered a normal child. Perhaps as a baby she might have been considered that way. There was no point in looking back or thinking about what could have been. Even if that had been going through her head a lot lately. Imagining what it would have been like of her parents had a shot at staying together. Perhaps everything would have been different or perhaps it would have been worse.

Suddenly everything made sense to her. The reason why he never let anyone on before now. The reason that she was still sitting there with him instead of being tossed out on her butt. "Oh." She spoke quietly, her voice was almost as much of a whisper as his had been. She turned leaning her back against the window pane and wrapped her arms around her legs. "Would it help to talk about him?" She felt like her therapist or something. "I talk to a therapist about mine." She rested her chin on her knees, letting her hair fall around and frame get face, making her look even younger. "I would mind hearing about him."

Sophie glanced down in complete surprise when he took her hand. She squeezed back after a moments hesitation. "I'd like that. I don't want to bring anyone down with me but it would be nice to talk every once and awhile...with someone that truly understands." She smiled and shook her head. "You might end up regretting that offer if I end up sneaking into your dorm at two in the morning."

Love it ebbers
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