Some Mike Brown Christmas Carols!!!

Some Mike Brown Christmas Carols!!!

Joined: January 18th, 2001, 8:11 pm

December 8th, 2001, 2:46 am #1

These are taken from another site......
I hope this is OK to do.
They are just too appropriate not to exist on MBS.com.

___________________________________
By "Cicero"
(Along the lines of the Twelve days of Christmas:)

On the 12th day of Christmas, Mikey gave to us-
"12 threats to leave town
11 bumbling rejects
10 losing seasons
9 free agent has-beens
8 PSL bills
7 tax excuses
6 pro-longed hold-outs
5 Carl Pic-kens Clause
4 First round busts
3 wins a year
2 High School scouts
1 A daughter who won't change a thing"

____________________________________

By "E"

Jingle Bells anyone ?

Flipping through the shows, there's Cincy game
On the field we know, these Bengals are the same
The worm will turn he says, the foundation has been layed
Mike Brown leads the way again, it's losers on parade

Oh, Offense smells ,defense jells, special teams layed an egg
Top ten in the draft again, we are well on our way, HEY !
Offense smells, defense jells, special teams layed an egg
When will it end ?, who knows my friend, so give me a who dey

WHO DEY !!!

_____________________________________

By "soP"



A Bengal Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Paul’s grounds
Not a film machine was whirring, not a win could be found;
The balance sheets and ledgers were displayed with great care,
In hopes that Paul Tagliabue soon would be there;
The Brown family was safe in their million-dollar beds,
While visions of cash registers rang through their heads;
And Mike in his tweed, with a cat in his lap,
Sat down by the credenza to finish next year's Cap;
When out on the field there was heard a big shout,
Mike sprang from his roost to check it all out.
Away to the Club Level he flew like a flash,
All the while leaving a trail of cold cash.
The moon on the stadium at the edge of downtown
Drew an audible chuckle from a satisfied Brown,
When, what to his wandering eyes should appear,
But ghosts of mistakes from the past ten years.
The noise was outrageous, like a yard full of chickens;
And the loudest of all was an angry Carl Pickens.
More rapid than interceptions and fumbles they came,
And Carl whistled, and shouted, and called them by name"
Now, Kitna! now, Klingler! Now, Rackers and Carter!
On, Akili! On, Coslet, Big-Daddy and Reinard!
From the SportsCenter lowlights, to a high pick in the draft,
Brought to you by a man who knows not his craft.
As errant passes from a Bengal QB's hand fly,
When they miss the receiver, make a Bengal fan cry,
So into the locker room the masses, they huddled,
Looking for big fluffy towels with which they could cuddle.
And then, in an instant, there was seen on the roof,
A cloud of white smoke that arose with a poof.
As Mike picked up the phone to give Coach Dick a call,
In front of him appeared the ghost of dad Paul.
He was dressed in an overcoat, with a hat on his head -
He looked pretty good for a man who's long dead;
A bag of used jocks was balanced on his shoulder,
And a playbook that was dusty, and probably much older.
His eyes - oh, they looked around, to and fro
As they checked out the home of a team sunk so low.
At the corner of his saddening eyes formed a tear -
He knew what had been happening year after year.
He tried not to think of the teams he had run,
Of the games he had coached in, games he had won.
He put away memories of doing so well
After being chased out of Cleveland by a man named Modell.
He was terribly sad, and a bit dismayed
At the way that his beloved Bengals had played.
And the cause of the losing, bad decisions, and the like,
Was the man who took over, Paul's oldest son Mike.
Paul spoke not a word, there was nothing to say;
He just shook his head, then started drifting away.
With Mike in control, the team had no hope,
No direction, no leadership, talent, or scope.
The ghost of the founder slowly started to fade,
Like the future of the team when Mike turned down Ditka's trade.
He left Mike these words, as he returned to whence he came,
"Son, I think it's about time you get out of this game."

_______________________________________

By "D-CAT"

Mikey the Red Faced Owner.(sung to the tune of "Rudolph-the Red Nosed Reindeer.")

Mikey the red faced owner
Had a very shiney head
And if he ever used it
He would not appear brain dead

All of the other owners
They still laugh and call him names
None of his high paid players
win him any football games

With a decade in the dump
Some fans came to say
Mikey with your team so bad
Can we resurrect your dad?

We'd have a chance at winning
Why oh why can't Mikey see?
He's only known for losing
Worst in NFL history!

Worst - in - N-F-L His-try!

__________________________________

By "AussieBengal"


Silent Night

Silent Night, Lonely Night
No more wins, in our sight
Our John Kitna
So pleasant & mild
Fumbles & thows picks
That drives us all wild

Give us your money please
Give us your money please

Silent Night, Lonely night
Defense quakes
At the sight
Of our Special Teams well below par
Please leave Mr Roberts
Neil has gone too far

Give us your money please
Give us your money please

Slient Night, Happy Night
Bucks are rolling in
To Mike Browns delight
Crappy contracts to second rate guys
11 years of suffering brings tears to our eyes

Sleep in monetary peace
From all of the fans who we did fleece

__________________________________


By "SheBengal"

"O Come, All Ye Suckers"

O come, all ye suckers
Come and buy your PSL
O come, ye, o come ye, to Paul Brown Stadium
Come and enrich me, all you idiotic fans

O come and please enrich me,
O come and please enrich me,
O come and please enrich me-e-e
All you Bengals fans

__________________________________

By "Betsy"

"Santa claus is coming to town"

You better pay up,
You better not cry,
Renew your PSLs, I'm telling you why:
Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown?

He's got a draft list,
He's checking it twice,
He's gonna look for low potential at a very high price--
Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown?

We can't stop kickoff re-turns--
And missed field goals are keen--
We do have a great defense,
We don't need no stinking special teams!

The offense won't score
With no quarterback,
Shutting Dillon down's a cinch if they know we can't pass...
Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown?

He knows you love your Bengals--
You hope that they'll come 'round--
You built him a new stadium,
To keep them here in town!

Lose year after year,
And sucker the fans,
It's all part of The Master Plan.
Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown?

Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown!

______________________________________


I admit to the authorship of one of these. After all, I can't use chris-MBHATER everywhere I go! I will say I'm not "shebengal" or "Betsy."

Hope it's OK to cut and paste these here Fraidy.

Happy Holidays one and all!
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Joined: January 18th, 2001, 8:11 pm

December 8th, 2001, 11:52 pm #2

A re-write of "The Little Drummer Boy"

The Little Dumber Boy

Mi-key why are you so dumb dumb dumb dumb?
You brough in Jon Kitna dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
You still let Rackers kick dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
You really make me sick
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
Why are you such a prick? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Mikey you scum

They built a field for you dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
And all concessions too dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
When will they get a clue? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Their brains are made of glue
dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
I wish someone would sue dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Mikey you scum

When will you step down Mike? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
When will you take a hike? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
When will you be like dad? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
When will you make us glad?
dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
Why is your team so bad? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
'Cause you're a scum
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caseyatthebat21
caseyatthebat21

December 9th, 2001, 12:56 am #3

Chris, I want to order the CD!!!!
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Bengullible777
Bengullible777

December 9th, 2001, 1:36 am #4

These are taken from another site......
I hope this is OK to do.
They are just too appropriate not to exist on MBS.com.

___________________________________
By "Cicero"
(Along the lines of the Twelve days of Christmas:)

On the 12th day of Christmas, Mikey gave to us-
"12 threats to leave town
11 bumbling rejects
10 losing seasons
9 free agent has-beens
8 PSL bills
7 tax excuses
6 pro-longed hold-outs
5 Carl Pic-kens Clause
4 First round busts
3 wins a year
2 High School scouts
1 A daughter who won't change a thing"

____________________________________

By "E"

Jingle Bells anyone ?

Flipping through the shows, there's Cincy game
On the field we know, these Bengals are the same
The worm will turn he says, the foundation has been layed
Mike Brown leads the way again, it's losers on parade

Oh, Offense smells ,defense jells, special teams layed an egg
Top ten in the draft again, we are well on our way, HEY !
Offense smells, defense jells, special teams layed an egg
When will it end ?, who knows my friend, so give me a who dey

WHO DEY !!!

_____________________________________

By "soP"



A Bengal Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Paul’s grounds
Not a film machine was whirring, not a win could be found;
The balance sheets and ledgers were displayed with great care,
In hopes that Paul Tagliabue soon would be there;
The Brown family was safe in their million-dollar beds,
While visions of cash registers rang through their heads;
And Mike in his tweed, with a cat in his lap,
Sat down by the credenza to finish next year's Cap;
When out on the field there was heard a big shout,
Mike sprang from his roost to check it all out.
Away to the Club Level he flew like a flash,
All the while leaving a trail of cold cash.
The moon on the stadium at the edge of downtown
Drew an audible chuckle from a satisfied Brown,
When, what to his wandering eyes should appear,
But ghosts of mistakes from the past ten years.
The noise was outrageous, like a yard full of chickens;
And the loudest of all was an angry Carl Pickens.
More rapid than interceptions and fumbles they came,
And Carl whistled, and shouted, and called them by name"
Now, Kitna! now, Klingler! Now, Rackers and Carter!
On, Akili! On, Coslet, Big-Daddy and Reinard!
From the SportsCenter lowlights, to a high pick in the draft,
Brought to you by a man who knows not his craft.
As errant passes from a Bengal QB's hand fly,
When they miss the receiver, make a Bengal fan cry,
So into the locker room the masses, they huddled,
Looking for big fluffy towels with which they could cuddle.
And then, in an instant, there was seen on the roof,
A cloud of white smoke that arose with a poof.
As Mike picked up the phone to give Coach Dick a call,
In front of him appeared the ghost of dad Paul.
He was dressed in an overcoat, with a hat on his head -
He looked pretty good for a man who's long dead;
A bag of used jocks was balanced on his shoulder,
And a playbook that was dusty, and probably much older.
His eyes - oh, they looked around, to and fro
As they checked out the home of a team sunk so low.
At the corner of his saddening eyes formed a tear -
He knew what had been happening year after year.
He tried not to think of the teams he had run,
Of the games he had coached in, games he had won.
He put away memories of doing so well
After being chased out of Cleveland by a man named Modell.
He was terribly sad, and a bit dismayed
At the way that his beloved Bengals had played.
And the cause of the losing, bad decisions, and the like,
Was the man who took over, Paul's oldest son Mike.
Paul spoke not a word, there was nothing to say;
He just shook his head, then started drifting away.
With Mike in control, the team had no hope,
No direction, no leadership, talent, or scope.
The ghost of the founder slowly started to fade,
Like the future of the team when Mike turned down Ditka's trade.
He left Mike these words, as he returned to whence he came,
"Son, I think it's about time you get out of this game."

_______________________________________

By "D-CAT"

Mikey the Red Faced Owner.(sung to the tune of "Rudolph-the Red Nosed Reindeer.")

Mikey the red faced owner
Had a very shiney head
And if he ever used it
He would not appear brain dead

All of the other owners
They still laugh and call him names
None of his high paid players
win him any football games

With a decade in the dump
Some fans came to say
Mikey with your team so bad
Can we resurrect your dad?

We'd have a chance at winning
Why oh why can't Mikey see?
He's only known for losing
Worst in NFL history!

Worst - in - N-F-L His-try!

__________________________________

By "AussieBengal"


Silent Night

Silent Night, Lonely Night
No more wins, in our sight
Our John Kitna
So pleasant & mild
Fumbles & thows picks
That drives us all wild

Give us your money please
Give us your money please

Silent Night, Lonely night
Defense quakes
At the sight
Of our Special Teams well below par
Please leave Mr Roberts
Neil has gone too far

Give us your money please
Give us your money please

Slient Night, Happy Night
Bucks are rolling in
To Mike Browns delight
Crappy contracts to second rate guys
11 years of suffering brings tears to our eyes

Sleep in monetary peace
From all of the fans who we did fleece

__________________________________


By "SheBengal"

"O Come, All Ye Suckers"

O come, all ye suckers
Come and buy your PSL
O come, ye, o come ye, to Paul Brown Stadium
Come and enrich me, all you idiotic fans

O come and please enrich me,
O come and please enrich me,
O come and please enrich me-e-e
All you Bengals fans

__________________________________

By "Betsy"

"Santa claus is coming to town"

You better pay up,
You better not cry,
Renew your PSLs, I'm telling you why:
Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown?

He's got a draft list,
He's checking it twice,
He's gonna look for low potential at a very high price--
Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown?

We can't stop kickoff re-turns--
And missed field goals are keen--
We do have a great defense,
We don't need no stinking special teams!

The offense won't score
With no quarterback,
Shutting Dillon down's a cinch if they know we can't pass...
Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown?

He knows you love your Bengals--
You hope that they'll come 'round--
You built him a new stadium,
To keep them here in town!

Lose year after year,
And sucker the fans,
It's all part of The Master Plan.
Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown?

Who dey gonna beat dat Mike Brown!

______________________________________


I admit to the authorship of one of these. After all, I can't use chris-MBHATER everywhere I go! I will say I'm not "shebengal" or "Betsy."

Hope it's OK to cut and paste these here Fraidy.

Happy Holidays one and all!
Chris...

This stuff is priceless!

"...The ghost of the founder slowly started to fade,
Like the future of the team when they turned down Ditka's trade..."

...And that about sums it up!
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Joined: October 6th, 2001, 12:07 am

December 9th, 2001, 2:32 am #5

A re-write of "The Little Drummer Boy"

The Little Dumber Boy

Mi-key why are you so dumb dumb dumb dumb?
You brough in Jon Kitna dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
You still let Rackers kick dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
You really make me sick
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
Why are you such a prick? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Mikey you scum

They built a field for you dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
And all concessions too dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
When will they get a clue? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Their brains are made of glue
dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
I wish someone would sue dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Mikey you scum

When will you step down Mike? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
When will you take a hike? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
When will you be like dad? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
When will you make us glad?
dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
dumb dumb dumb dumb
Why is your team so bad? dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
'Cause you're a scum
This is funny stuff even if you did use some other author to write this.But Mikey is no fool look at the begining of the season most of you were going to the Supor bowl who-dey,who-dey who going to beat those Bengals about everyone thats who.Merry Christmas to your family and keep up with the humor.
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Joined: January 18th, 2001, 8:11 pm

December 9th, 2001, 4:26 am #6

I did write two of them......"little dumber boy" included.

Glad you liked it, even if I don't really think you're a Steeler fan.

I'd like to see some other re-writes of Christmas songs by anyone who can contribute. It's just so easy, really. And perfect for MBS.com and the season of Christmas! Beng777? Boodey? Anyone?

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Joined: March 28th, 2001, 2:47 pm

December 9th, 2001, 4:46 am #7

Good work. Very poignant, and very true.

Kudos.
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Joined: January 18th, 2001, 8:11 pm

December 10th, 2001, 3:13 am #8

Chris...

This stuff is priceless!

"...The ghost of the founder slowly started to fade,
Like the future of the team when they turned down Ditka's trade..."

...And that about sums it up!
"soP" who posted the "Bengal Christmas" re-write gets the credit for that bit of genius. Apparently he wrote it last year and just changed a few names to make it fit this seasons circumstances and players.

I'm expecting your own contribution Beng777! After-all, you come up with some great prose on your own. Re-writes are even easier!

Please, do us the honor of another Mikey Christmas classic!

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Joined: January 20th, 2001, 9:47 pm

December 10th, 2001, 4:30 am #9

Here's one I enjoyed creating!


Mikey Boy is not leaving town!

Oh! You better watch out,
You better um, cry,
You better uh, pout,
I'm telling you why:
Mikey Boy is not leaving town!

He's making a list,
He's thinking low price$$$,
Gonna find out who's shoddy to splice.
Mikey Boy is not Leaving town!

He gave of us David Klingler
He got rid of "Shakin Blake."
He knows that they've been bad not good,
So how much more can we all take?

Oh! You better watch out,
You better um, cry,
You better uh, pout,
I'm telling you why:
Mikey Brown is never leaving town!


PEACE Y'all!

BOODEY
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Joined: January 18th, 2001, 8:11 pm

December 10th, 2001, 6:32 am #10

Very nice Boo!

I like the way you pretty much stick with the original theme of the song, yet change just enough words to apply it to Mikey and make it hilarious!

Keep 'em comin' fellas!

We got two weeks until Christmas!

CATB21, I'll let you know when the CD comes out.
If you contribute to it, I'll be sure you get yours for free!





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