March 2016 Fan-fic Writing Competition



A great opportunity for writers to showcase their talent.

Moderators: Feral Female, Miles_Warren, Feral Female, Miles_Warren

March 2016 Fan-fic Writing Competition

Joined: 03 Oct 2013, 20:56

03 Mar 2016, 21:31 #1

Okay, since we didn't have a competition last month and people have been expressing interest, I am going to launch this month's competition. See the link below for the rules:

Rules

Modifications to the rules:

1. If Miles Warren or Feral Female decide to take management of this competition, they have full authority to do so.

2. At the end of the month, in the absence of Miles and Feral, votes must be submitted to Big Thunder's PM account.

3. As before, votes (2) must be submitted by anyone entering. No votes will result in a disqualification.

4. Competition ends on March 28.

5. ALL voting begins on March 28 at 4pm EST and ends on March 31 at 11:59pm. Entrant voting and reader voting will take place at the same time.

Good luck to all entrants!
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Magneta
Demi God
Magneta
Demi God
Joined: 28 Sep 2013, 09:22

05 Mar 2016, 21:31 #2

I'll try and enter this month this time. I've a fan fic I'd like to enter that isn't my usual main fan fics so I hope it'll be alright.
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Joined: 03 Oct 2013, 20:56

06 Mar 2016, 00:42 #3

Magneta @ Mar 5 2016, 05:31 PM wrote: I'll try and enter this month this time. I've a fan fic I'd like to enter that isn't my usual main fan fics so I hope it'll be alright.
I've got one waiting. I'm waiting for someone else to post their story first.
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Joined: 03 Oct 2013, 20:56

08 Mar 2016, 03:40 #4

Marvel Star Wars: Daredevil


A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Forward
One of the earliest chapters of recorded galactic history was a period known as “The Great Expansion” during which explorers, colonists and settlers spread out from the galaxy's oldest systems of worlds (commonly referred to as the “core systems”) into the far flung reaches of the galaxy’s one hundred billion or so stars due to the discovery of the hyperdrive and improving navigational charts. Thousands of new sentient species were discovered and contacted. Alliances were forged. Enemies were unfortunately made. Which each new contact, whether in trade or conflict, the early pioneers’ technological advancements of that time were acquired by ally and enemy alike.

Toward the edge of the galaxy’s disk was an area that had informally become known as “The Outer Rim”. Colonization in this region of the galaxy was sparse due to its relative distance from the core worlds, yet contact was made with many of the area’s systems and species. One particular system was Nal Hutta, a bog-like world that was home to a species known as the Hutts – large, intelligent slug-like creatures. Unlike some of the many races the core worlds’ colonists and explorers had met, it turned out that the Hutts had already spread their influence to several surrounding systems despite their apparent inability to develop their own technology. Anthropologists, in hind sight, had determined that early interstellar explorers nearby in the Outer Rim had explored Nal Hutta using relatively primitive faster than light drive engines, made contact with the Hutts and the Hutts manipulated them into sharing their technology and later used the ability to travel between worlds to, in a matter of speaking, conquer every system those explorers had previously come into contact with.

Some have theorized that the exploring species might have been those known as Twi’leks, humanoid creatures commonly recognized by their head tentacles (known as lekku) from the neighboring Ryloth system. There is little as far as evidence to support that theory in modern times seeing that Ryloth is now considered a “Hutt acquistional colony” and Twi’leks are commonly used as Hutt slaves. There are smatterings of Twi’lek culture throughout the world, but the Rylothian culture shows heavy Hutt influence. There is evidence that native languages once existed on Ryloth and yet today it recognizes Huttese as its official language in every day speech and trade. The main basis for the “Ancient Twi’lek Explorer” theory is simply that the Hutts, as a whole, are criminals that will steal and manipulate to control and own “everything they can get their stubby, grimly little hands on” – as the acclaimed galactic historian Vineth I’oth put it.

In modern times, the Hutts have a substantial range of underworld control, encompassing most of the Outer Rim through the region known as “The Wilderness” while it is speculated their influence is toned down beyond the Kessel Ridge due to pressures from the Kree – and more specifically, the Chiss – and the Xandarian Alliance. Their criminal activities are not unheard of in the galaxy’s Central Region though it has constantly been kept in check by the Empire in modern times and the Republic before it. (Refer to Hai ka Nofaa’s
The Imperial/Republic Pendulum and their Common Influence on Language and Trade). It is often asked why the Empire, seemingly bent on universal control, would even tolerate the existence of the Hutt’s due to their obvious efforts to undermine Imperial influence, especially in the Outer Rim. The reigning theory is that the Empire and its succession of Emperors see the Hutt’s as a means of creating instability that the Empire automatically responds with “necessary security”. As Vineth I’oth has explained: “It’s a mutually beneficial system. The Hutts provide disorder; the Empire responds with order. Without the Hutts, the Outer Rim would find themselves able to go their own direction. Because of that, the Empire simply has been supplying security forces to the region, not enough to displace the Hutts, but enough to gain control and power over its citizenry in the guise of a constabulary force. The Empire saves expense while proving the Outer Rim’s need for their presence and the Hutts’ criminal activities are allowed to thrive.”

At the same time, in a strange irony, the Hutt’s find themselves in a similar situation regarding Nal Hutta’s own moon – Nar Shaddaa. From early on, Nar Shaddaa became the Hutt’s major center of trade and traffic seeing it has a temperate and
drier climate than that of Nal Hutta. In order to accommodate the many humanoid species that the Hutts influence and use to control their criminal endeavors, a massive planet-wide city has arisen over the millennia. While many have travelled to Nar Shaddaa to invest in the Hutts’ criminal endeavors, many others simply settled there for the relatively honest livelihood that its infrastructure provides – from shopkeepers to droid repair specialists to refuse handlers. Of course, as would be expected, the criminally minded citizenry of Nar Shaddaa quickly prey upon those who tried to simply scratch out a living on that world. Productivity from that world for the Hutts would greatly be stifled as a result of the moon’s local crime so the Hutts have resorted in allowing Nar Shaddaa’s citizenry to set up their own form of democracy, including its own security and police force to keep the criminals (ironically mostly working for the Hutts) at bay.

Now, in these modern times, it is surprising that, despite the Empire, despite the Hutts that own and control the moon, the peoples of Nar Shaddaa enjoy a relatively quiet and secure society. Crime is still an issue, as any free society unfortunately encounters. Of course, considering the very nature of the world it is, Nar Shaddaa unfortunately has a major share of corruption.

– from Manuu Khall’s The Anthropological History of Galactic Society, volume III


Chapter One

Nar Shaddaa, Kaisiv’s Arena, twelve years ago…

It was hard to hear over the roar of the crowd. The fight, long awaited and prepared for had finally come and it was clear that it was coming to an end three rounds earlier than he had expected. His opponent, Feesher Nogs, a Riccoo from the Jiscanu System had only two defeats on his record in the ten years of his ringsport fighting career. He had a reputation in the league as being almost ruthless in his ability to find his opponent’s weaknesses and capitalizing on them. According to Pimer, the fight’s promoter, Nogs had ended the careers of fifteen other ringsport fighters after beating them so badly.

Josher grinned as he carefully side-stepped in the ring keeping his wrapped fists raised defensively, eyeing the Riccoo fighter. Josher’s last three punches had taken their toll on him. The Riccoo’s left eye was swollen nearly shut and he was moving noticeably slower. Josher could see it. The crowd could see it, especially an unusually young human fan with a ringside seat.

“Take’em down, dad!”

Josher didn’t react to his son’s encouragement. He knew Nogs would take advantage of it somehow. He also knew Nogs’ strength and moving in too quickly would give Nogs the advantage. One good hit, especially to his own swollen right jaw could be debilitating enough to him for Nogs to get a second wind and finish him off.

Know your own weaknesses first, son,” Josher could hear his own voice as he talked to him just the day before. Knowing his opponent’s weakness was also a good idea.

Josher took a quick step forward with his right foot and Nogs reacted with a swing from his left arm. Josher ducked the predicted punch and landed one of his own in the Riccoo’s scaley ribcage. Nogs retaliated with a swing from his right, but Josher had his elbow tucked into his side to block it. Nogs then swung blindly with his right leaving him open long enough for Josher to land two quick punches to the left side of Nogs’ ridged head. It clearly left him dazed. The crowd roared. They saw what was coming next. Josher put all he could into the punch from his right. Nogs was too slow to block it and after Josher’s fist impacted his head, the Riccoo fighter stumbled back. From the look on his face, Josher could tell Nogs was having a hard time standing, let alone trying to remember which planet he was on.

Josher grinned and stepped toward him. Nogs shook his head and for an instant realizing the human was coming in to finish him off. He stepped forward to counter the attack, but the ring’s mat assisted by Nar Shaddaa’s gravity came up to deliver the final blow.

The crowd leapt to their feet and one of the droid assistant referees dropped from the ceiling to push Josher back toward the blue light designating his section of the ring while the main droid ref hovered over the fallen Riccoo, loudly counting down as a holograph over its hunched back displayed the same numbers.

Josher looked over at his son, reveling in the boy’s excitement. Somewhat to his disappointment, at that moment, the boy was more eager to see the holographic count drop to zero than to see his father’s exhausted but exhilarated smile.

“…zero!”

Josher heard the droid’s final count. Turning he saw the head referee droid hovering over to him and near the center of the ring, Nogs was only now beginning to stir.

The droid grabbed his hand and raised it skyward. “And the winner of tonight’s main exhibition match is, by a confirmed knockout: Josher Murdoch!”

Josher turned in the ring and shook both fists in the air for the celebrating crowd, finally turning back to his son who was doing his best to get past two hulking Gamorrean security guards.

Josher ran over to the ropes and leaned in toward them to shout over the crowd’s chorus of cheers.

“Hey, guys? That’s my son.”

The two green, horned guards gave him a quick glance, a pat on each of his shoulders and ended up helping by boosting Josher’s son up over the ropes where the victorious fighter lifted him up to hug him.

“I knew it, dad!” Josher’s son said into his ear. “I knew it from the second round. Nogs was trying too hard to wear you out. You kept punching him hard, but you didn’t try to beat him right away. You wore him out by making him try too hard.”

Josher laughed. “You’ve got a good eye. I guess you’ve been listening to my ringsport fighting advice.”

“I’m going to be a fighter too!” his son said with a big grin.

Josher’s smile faded slightly. “Matteus, remember what I told you. This is to help with the bills, it’s not a career. I don’t want you to…”

“Aha! Not a career?” Takrer Gris, Josher’s Rodian trainer and friend laughed as he came up to the two of them. “Pimer’s gonna ask you to go professional. I know a couple guys from the Outer Rim Caster League that are going to be all over the two of us to get you signed up. One guy…what’s his name…Wagrul told me just before the fight that Feesher Nogs was the up-and-comer in the ORCL and YOU just took him down in four fantastic rounds.”

“Takrer, listen. I…” Josher started to say before the Rodian grabbed his shoulder.

“Hold on, let’s finish this back in your prep room before this crowd pulls us apart,” Takrer said with a grin on his small mouth. As they left the ring, the Gamorreans parted the crowd and let the three of them through and they retreated back to the prep room where a couple KV-3 droids were waiting to examine Josher and treat any cuts and bruises he had incurred.

As Josher sat down, the two droids began scanning him and applying bacta pads to a cut over his right eyebrow. Takrer sat down across from him and looked at him intently with his large, black eyes.

“I’m thinking the ORCL will start you off with a comfortable package, maybe a half mil sign up,” the Rodian said excitedly, his two antennae bouncing slightly. “First fight will probably score a half mil as well. I think it will…”

“I’ve got a job at the service docks, Tak,” Josher told him. “This fight, like the others is about putting food on the table and paying for Matt’s tuition. I don’t want a career in this.”

Takrer’s small mouth dropped open. “But…but…oh, come on Joshy. Think about what you just did to that full league ringsport fighter. They said that no human could take him down and you did it in four rounds! You’ve got a gift and a skill and the means to get you and your son off of this rock pretty easily. With a full league career, you can probably buy yourself a place over on Laboo or Naccat. If you go far enough – and trust me, I know you have the ability to do it – you could end up buying your own moon orbiting some blue and green paradise. Think about it – a big mansion full of droids to do all of the cooking and cleaning, a private spaceport, an ocean sized swimming pool, a half dozen of the most gorgeous Twi’lek…”

“Tak,” Josher said with a slight frown, nodding toward his eight year old son sitting not too far away.

“Gorgeous Twi’lek gardeners to…to...mow your lawn,” Takrer said with a coy grin. “In short, get yourself and your boy off of this awful garbage heap known as Nar Shaddaa.”

Josher couldn’t agree more with the last point, but he still shook his head.

“Tak, I’d do almost anything to get my son out of here and into a good life, but my wife – your friend, if I recall – wanted our son to get an education and work his way off of Nal Shadaa. I was hoping that Matteus would get into some university, get a degree, a good career and leave this system by the time I retire.”

“I wouldn’t leave you, dad,” Matteus told him sadly.

Josher grinned and stood up, much to the two droids' disapproval as they hadn’t finished treating his wounds yet, and walked over to his son, sitting next to him.

“Of course not, Matty,” Josher said putting his arm around his son. “That’s why you’d take me with you so I could enjoy my retirement on some better planet.”

Takrer could tell his friend was more interested in his son’s welfare than his own. His human friend’s selflessness was inspiring. Ten years earlier, the human took a double shift at the loading docks while Takrer sat by his dying wife’s bedside. Josher’s wife Tila was there as well, helping him by preparing meals and with chores around their apartment. It was six years later that Tila’s death impacted all three of them. Josher without a wife, Matteus without a mother and a lone Rodian without one of his closest friends that could have been his daughter…if she were Rodian.

“Would you mind hauling an old, crusty Rodian with you as well?”

Before Matty could answer, a blue skinned Twi’lek entered the room wearing an expensive suit.

“Mr. Kaisiv would like to speak with you, Mr. Murdoch,” the Twi’lek said with a sharp toothed smile. “In his office.” Evidently, the Bothan wanted to pay Josher his earnings early, Josher guessed. The human and Rodian also guessed that the sports arena’s owner, a man that Josher had helped with odd jobs before, was going to offer to sponsor him for a professional ringsport fighting career.

Josher and Takrer exchanged looks. Silently, Josher gave Takrer a look that seemed to say, “I’m going to turn down any offer he gives me.

Josher smiled diplomatically at him and stood. “Lead the way.”

As the two entered the hallway outside, two Gamorrean security guards joined them. That felt reassuring since Josher didn’t want to have to face a crowd as he could feel the effects of the beating he took starting to wear on him. A long, nice hot soak in a bacta tank sounded great followed by about two days of uninterrupted sleep. A paycheck, as much as it was needed, was almost the last thing on his mind.

The four rode an autolift about twenty floors up in the tower attached to the arena and once they exited it, Kaisiv’s office was a short walk down a polished hallway. Two Trandoshans wearing expensive suits waited outside the office. He had never been on this floor of the tower before, but it surprised him that Kaisiv could afford to hire Trandoshans as personal security.

When the Twi’lek nodded, one of the reptilian creatures touched a keypad on the wall and the door to the office opened. The Twi’lek led Josher in, but to his surprise, the two arena security guards followed them into the office as well. Josher really didn’t think any fighting fans would make their way up to the offices in the tower and definitely not into Kaisiv's personal office especially with a pair of Trandoshans outside the door.

Kaisiv, a furry Bothan with a short snout, sat behind his desk which was made from finely carved wood. Expensive paintings and sculptures lined the walls. Josher was surprised just how well off Kaisiv really was. Before he said anything, the Bothan businessman pressed a control on his desk and three holos appeared beside his desk in a semi-circle facing both Kaisev and Josher. To Josher’s shock, all three were of Hutts. With the Hutts involved, Josher realized all the talk of him getting an offer for a fighting career sounded much more lucrative than what Takrer had guessed. The audience of three Hutts also made turning down a professional career in ringsport fighting that much harder as no one in their right mind would go against a Hutt’s demands, let alone three of them. Quickly, Josher was realizing he probably was going to have to make a career change, whether he wanted to or not. He imagined the grins on Takrer and Matteus’ faces and couldn’t help grinning himself.

“Something amusing, Mr. Murdoch?” Kaisiv asked curiously, his long ears twitching. Josher suppressed the smile.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about something,” Josher replied trying not to think about the money he was guessing they were about to offer.

“Tonight’s fight…no doubt,” Kaisiv said before activating another holo. This one hovered right above his desk. It looked to him like an intricately carved antique spear. “Do you recognize this object?”

Josher looked at it curiously. “I’m not sure. A spear?”

Kaisiv eyed him for a few moments as if studying his reaction to the holo.

“Not a spear,” the Bothan businessman replied. “A scepter. In fact, it is none other than Odin’s Scepter.”

Josher nodded, not sure of its significance. “It looks expensive.”

“Do you know the significance of this object?” Kaisiv asked.

Josher thought about it for a few moments. “Um, ‘Odin’ as in ‘Odin from the Asgard System’?”

Kaisiv nodded. “The one and the same. Do you know of the significance of this scepter?”

Josher shook his head. “I’m guessing…someone made it, maybe for a planet’s king or something? They probably called it 'Odin’s Scepter' to make it classy sounding.”

Kaisiv smiled, exposing his sharp Bothan teeth. For some reason, that unnerved Josher slightly.

“It belonged to none other than Asgard’s king himself,” Kaisiv responded.

Josher grinned in response to that. Odin and Asgard were old myths talked about in fictional stories. Kaisiv’s smile disappeared. Josher stopped grinning.

“Rumor has it that this scepter, when picked up by one mortal sentient being, will be granted an extraordinary gift – a connection to the Force,” Kaisiv said slowly, waving his hand through the holo.

Josher didn’t know how to take that. Was Kaisiv joking or was he talking about some superstition held by some backwater world’s chieftain?

“The Force?” Josher asked.

Kaisiv didn’t seem happy with Josher’s last question and leaned forward.

“Eight years ago, I asked you to take something with you to the Huttbola district on the other side of Nar Shaddaa, do you recall that?” Kaisiv asked with a note of anger in his voice.

“Uh…oh, yeah, definitely,” Josher replied. He remembered it vividly in fact. The trip took four days and since it was a classier district than the one they lived in, Josher brought his wife Tila along as well so they could enjoy a second honeymoon. He didn’t bother Kaisiv with that detail, though.

“I gave you instructions. What were they?”

“Deliver a case – it was about a meter long – to a man named Bashut, and don’t open the case,” Josher recalled.

Kaisiv snapped his fingers. The Twi’lek that had escorted him to Kaisiv’s office walked over and took Josher’s hand pressing it on a hand held scanner. Josher didn’t think anything of it, since he wasn’t sure what was going on yet.

“Did you open the case and hold the scepter?” Kaisiv asked angrily.

Josher shook his head. “N-no, I didn’t.”

“Do not lie to me, human,” Kaisiv growled quietly. “You did, didn’t you?”

Josher shook his head again. “If I opened the case, I think I would have recognized Odin’s Spear.”

The holos of the three Hutt’s seemed to be amused by Josher’s response as deep chuckling noises could be heard over Kaisiv’s desktop speakers.

“The scepter…” Kaisiv emphasized, “…has what my people recognize to be a human fingerprint on it. It was touched by a human and you were the only human to have been anywhere near it. I just scanned your fingerprints as I have been told every human fingerprint is unique to each individual human and all prints from your fingers and toes are identical. Fortunately, the Hutts have a database of this unique characteristic for every single human on Nar Shaddaa. The scan I just made is to prove to my honored guests that you, in fact, did open the case and touch the scepter.”

Kaisiv touched a key on his desk and the holos of two fingerprints hung in the air in front of him. The prints were not a match. The three Hutts laughed in unison.

Josher shook his head innocently. “I’m sorry?”

Busca motta dagas fingerprints,” one of the Hutts bellowed.

“I have already searched the Nar Shaddaa database, mighty Fiskatta,” the embarrassed Bothan replied. “There was no DNA on the scepter to verify an ID. I assumed that this human had forged his registry data with that as well as his fingerprints. There’s been more than one…”

Kaisiv boca merba nast,” another one of the Hutt’s holos muttered. “Collu musco pahn…Kaisiv. Bashut, pinkat.”

Almost simultaneously, the holos of the three Hutts faded. Kaisiv stared at his desktop silently. In all his years on Nar Shaddaa, Josher had never learned Huttese and, for Kaisiv’s sake, he was glad he hadn’t, judging by the way the Bothan had apparently just been verbally chastised.

Josher waited a few tense moments before he was about to say something. Before he did, Kaisiv slammed his palm on the desktop deactivating the holos of the two fingerprints.

“Your winnings from tonight’s fight will be directly deposited into your account,” Kasiv growled, turning in his seat to face the far wall.

“Thanks,” Josher said before the two Gammoreans grabbed his arms and practically dragged him out of the disgraced Bothan’s office. With him gone, Kaisiv sulked in his chair with only his Twi’lek assistant remaining in the office with him.

“I want that human taken care of for humiliating me like that,” Kaisiv said quietly. “Discreetly. Make it look like an accident. The Hutts can’t know.”

The Twi’lek nodded. “I can have it done tonight. If anyone grows suspicious, they’ll think it was Feesher Nogs or one of his supporters.”

About an hour later, Josher flew home in his speeder with his son Matteus parking it at the hover dock outside their apartment. Around, above and below the dock, late night traffic - rivers of hovecars, speeders and air-trucks flowed like usual. Before they got out of the speeder, Josher turned to his son.

“Promise me you’ll do good in school,” Josher said, thinking of Kaisiv, the Hutts, the scepter and the trip he made with it several months before Matteus had been born. “Promise me, you’ll get a good education, get a job off-world and leave this planet far behind you. You have to make something of yourself. You can’t stay here. Promise me.”

Matteus smiled. “Sure, I will. You’ll see.”

Josher rubbed the boy’s hair and kissed him on the forehead. “Now, get yourself inside, because its past your bedtime, mister.”

The two stepped out onto the dock while the speeder’s cargo hatch opened.

“I’ll help with your gym bags, Dad.”

Josher nodded as he walked over to the speeder’s cargo bin, took out the smaller bag and gave it to his son.

“Are you sure I can’t be a fighter?” Matteus asked with a big grin.

Josher shook his head and laughed as he tugged at the larger bag trying to unwrap one of its straps from one of the cargo bin’s supports. “Get going, mister.”

Matteus carried the bag up to the apartment building’s door and set it down with the intention of turning around and helping his father un-snag the larger bag. As he turned, though, he watched as a small fuel truck swerved out of nearby traffic and barreled into the back of the speeder. For just a tiny fraction of a second he watched the two frames of the two hover vehicles crumple together before the fuel in the tanker ignited in a searing bright flash.

The last thing Matteus could remember was the bright, white light and the searing pain in his eyes.

Matty.

The voice was familiar. Matteus awoke and everything was dark. A voice had stirred him. It was familiar, but it wasn’t his father’s or even Takrer’s.

Matty.

No, it was a woman’s voice. Matteus’ heart began to race. It wasn’t just any woman’s voice.

“M-mom?”

Suddenly, as if around the corner of a dark object, the shimmering white form of a woman appeared. Matteus realized he was laying down and he was looking up at the glowing form. If it wasn’t for who the image was of, he would have been terrified.

“Mom,” Matteus said in confirmed realization. He tried to reach out for her but it almost seemed that he couldn’t move…or he didn’t have any hands.

Matty,” the ghostly image of his mother said, smiling at him. “Oh, how I missed you.

“I missed you too, Mom, but…I thought you had died,” Matteus responded. The ghostly image smiled warmly and her hand stretched out as if to touch his cheek but he felt nothing. “Can you stay?”

I’m sorry, I can’t” the image replied. “I’m just here to tell you that you’ve been given a great gift. You must use it wisely. I don’t have time to explain, but you’ll know what it is in time. With this gift, you’ll be able to help many people.

“I don’t understand,” Matteus replied as she stepped back and looked at him lovingly before turning and walking away as if disappearing around the same pitch black corner that she came from leaving him in complete darkness.

“Mom?!”

“Matty? You’re awake,” a familiar voice announced. It was Takrer’s.

“Takrer, where’s my Mom? Where’s Dad?” the boy asked flailing his arms around until he struck someone. It was Takrer. He felt suction cup tipped fingers gently wrapped around his arm holding it still.

“Matty, your father was in an accident,” the Rodian said quietly.

Matteus tried to open his eyes, but seemingly couldn’t. With his free hand he touched his face and realized that bandages were covering his eyes.

“Please do not remove the bandages,” a droid’s voice announced. “Time must be allowed for the bacta to heal the scarring.”

Takrer’s other hand took Matteus’ hand away from his face.

“Matty, you were hurt, too,” Takrer explained quietly. “There was an explosion. It was kayathene. It’s a fuel they use at the metal refineries. It was very bright. Your retinas an optical nerves were damaged so severly that they…”

“Where’s my Dad?” Matteus asked, struggling against Takrer’s grip.

“Matty…” the Rodian’s quaking voice said quietly. “Your father was killed in the accident.”

Matteus seized back and, despite the bandages, the tears came.

“No, no…”
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ewkada
Inhuman
Joined: 21 Dec 2013, 01:44

09 Mar 2016, 21:23 #5

excellent story BT
a sad beginning of boy's life, I know perfectly what it means,
and the same perfectly I know that such a beginning does not make a sad life later on
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ewkada
Inhuman
Joined: 21 Dec 2013, 01:44

09 Mar 2016, 21:47 #6

now it's my turn
I own nothing which isn't mine

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GOLDEN AGE – the Light and the Shadow

---
Ejsha was pregnant, so happy and double lively, that Thor couldn’t catch up with her when she was running through the whole of Asgard. As Archi hadn’t agreed to guarantee her safety in the Giant Mountains, she had finally persuaded Thor to show her Earth.

Rosie was with child too, but she expected to give birth to her daughter much earlier. Kiran was six at that time and it was already obvious, that he took after his giant father: he was never ill, had no bruises and it was almost impossible to hurt him, and he stuck to his father refusing to leave his side even at night, which was more typical for the human race than for the giant one – the only exception was, when the Starks came, with Martin – the boys rampaged then through their level and Loki could relax for some hours.

Ejsha however didn’t sit long in Loki’s tower, she did some journeys with Pepper instead. Ejsha remained immune to all illnesses on Earth, so feeling no danger she didn’t hurry up back to Asgard. Especially when Earth seemed to her extraordinarily exciting: she was surprised by each her step and she learned to swim (which wasn’t allowed nor, let’s say: possible in Asgard because of the bloodthirsty fishes living in all the waters except for the streams of the Giant Mountains) and she quarreled madly with the human instructors, who weren’t eager to allow her to dive. Thor would also have had fun on Earth, if he hadn’t to look after his wife all the time, being aware of Loki’s fears and of monitoring by the GlobalAgency. Additionally Ejsha, who was not used to the weakness and sensibility of the humans, to some extent was threatening them.

Thor finally succeeded in persuading Pepper to go back home hoping that Ejsha would join her too, but he was wrong: Ejsha in the meantime had discovered mountain climbing, the higher the better and more exciting. Tony paid for them to stay in a cozy hotel in the Swiss Alps, from where each day they started to climb. In the end Thor, being all the time at full stretch, had had enough; instead of four hours sleep he needed five while Ejsha the opposite: she slept usually for three only and the rest she spent outside waiting for Thor to wake up.

And it was like this: when one night she saw a strange star in the sky changing direction rapidly – Ups! The pilot visibly must have had some problems – this she only managed to think as suddenly a wave of light shot out in her direction and took her with it.

---

She found herself in a long, narrow passage, where on both sides different people, moving very slowly, were seated. Ejsha being curious went nearer: what she saw, was actually blood-curdling: humans of various ages, sex and race sat totally exhausted, and above them hung slightly shining covers, which were waving. Ejsha looked closer and immediately sidestepped : the covers through numerous pulsing, almost transparent tubes were rooted in the bodies of the suffering humans.

– what-are-you-do-ing-here? – a low voice asked her close behind her in a toneless voice.

Ejsha turned rapidly feeling scared. A Blackeyed was seating in one of the seats in the row, Ejsha was sure, he wasn’t there a while ago, and above him hung a cover too – Exactly! What am I doing here? – she asked filled with rage.

The Blackeyed didn’t answer.

– What is it hanging above you? – she asked again.

– a-sur-prise-from-the-dra-gon-pla-net – he answered her finally after being silent for a few moments – we-took-it-by-a-cci-dent-with-it-mul-ti-plies-shor-tly-a-fter-ki-lling-his-next-prey… -

- How can I help you? – she asked the Blackeyed.

– you-can’t-we-are-go-ing-to-die-ve-ry-soon-…-you-too… – Ejsha heard him whispering.

She stood back terrified – Let me out! – she demanded.

The Blackeyed didn’t answer, he watched her from bottom to top, from bottom to top.

– From bottom to top, that’s strange… - she thought and suddenly her eyes grew big with terror, she looked up: above her two covers were hanging and throwing out their narrow tubes in her direction, but obviously they could not implant into her body. Ejsha screamed and started to run along the passage, she passed by some sluices. On the way she destroyed everything she could, so that the whole ship trembled heavily and then it started to writhe as if it were in pain. Suddenly she lost her balance and was released. She went down gaining speed due to Earth’s magnetic pull. She was really terrified, she felt guilty for what had happened to her, she should have never come to Earth…

---

High above her the space ship of the Blackeyed exploded.

---

Thor was awaken by the tremendous thunderbolt that he saw in his dream – Ejsha?! – he called immediately for his wife stretching out his hand for Mjonir. He rushed to the balcony to see that something was falling from the sky gaining speed every second; he started to turn his hammer, but didn’t even fly up as it was caught by someone else and braking.

---

Tony Stark placed Ejsha on the stony ledge – Are you all right? – he asked with care in his voice.

– Take me to the king! – she demanded instead of answering him.

– What has happened?! – Thor landed next to them.

Ejsha threw her arms round Thor’s neck.

– She was kidnapped by the Blackeyed, they also were watching you – Tony explained.

– You knew this?! – Thor wondered.

– Well… yes and no, they scan all of us regularly, and we do the same to them… But recently nothing serious has happened, we didn’t trace any kidnappings, so we didn’t feel obliged to inform you about… -

- Take me back to Asgard – Ejsha said to Thor ignoring Tony – Immediately! – she demanded.

– Without any farewell to Loki? – Thor asked her hoping, that she would change her mind, as he was eager to learn more about the Blackeyed on Earth.

– Now! – she answered him.

---

Ejsha didn’t want to pass Earth anymore. When asked for the reasons, she answered, that Earth was not the right place for Asgardians.

Only Thor knew, what in truth his wife went through; the Dragon Planet had seriously puzzled him, but he didn’t know, how to find it in neutral outer areas of the Universe. And the Tesseract stubbornly remained silent about it, the Blackeyed too, so Thor acknowledged that he should give up searching for it, especially that he feared that the covers could also stick to someone from an Asgardian expedition.

Ejsha in the meantime took care about herself and their daughter, who should be arriving into world very soon. But there was something not right with her delivery: Ejsha one week before had swollen and because of that was under additional control of Asgardian healers, which enormously embarrassed her and Thor, so that she again felt worse than Asgardian women. Thor cuddled her weeping… and then the birth cramps came.

When the delivery had lasted for twelve hours and Kesti still was not eager see the world, Thor took the Tesseract to bring Loki to Asgard – I tried to feel into her body and mind, as you taught me by Eshla, but I was surrounded by pain, the source of which I was not able to locate – Thor suddenly realized, how similar his wife’s name was to the one of Loki’s women, who died after being tortured. He immediately felt sick because of it.

Loki in the meantime laid his hands on Ejsha’s big belly and smiled – Alive and so lively like my little Greta… Well you have two choices: either we go back to Earth –

– No! – Ejsha cut him off, which made Loki smile.

– Or my Terian queen, you will have to trust a Frost Giant… it looks as if you are going to have a human birth… -

---

It wasn’t easy at all, Ejsha had not so much strength left, so when Kesti for the first time cried, Ejsha relieved closed her eyes to rest for a while, but Loki did not allow her to fall asleep. Kesti was big, and additionally had a slightly bigger head than Asgardian newborn babys. Luckily they made it.

---

Thor, who stayed with Ejsha during the delivery, had it worse; the pain, that he felt radiating out of her body, had paralyzed his wits. He was happy for Kesti, but much more for Ejsha to have her alive, because that was, what he had most feared: that she would pass away. Since then he treated his wife as a goddess, but avoided to touch her.

Ejsha at the beginning did not realize the change, with time however, when further months had passed, she started to blame herself for that. Nothing had helped: not that they could be left alone in the bedroom, even if they wished to, not the joking or talking, she tried to dance for him as she once did – all that with no results: Thor clearly avoided any opportunity to touch her. The Terian complex again started to play the first fiddle in her mind, but Ejsha was not the one to suppress her pain.

---

When Kesti was twelve months old and Thor had organized Thanksgiving because of her, Ejsha slipped into their bedroom after Thor.

He stood in the middle, holding the Tesseract with both hands.

Ejsha looked into his face – I want to know, why have you refused me all the year! How did it happen, that a Terian woman does not satisfy the Asgardian king anymore? –

Thor glanced at her painfully, but then looked down to the Tesseract, and said nothing.

– If you don’t answer me now, I will go out and you will never see me again! –

He stood further gazing into the Tesseract.

Ejsha started to cry, she heaved a sigh and slowly made to the door.

– The Tesseract is suffering – Thor said it slowly – She is… despairing… she knows something, which she doesn’t want to show me – Thor put the cube away and came closely to Ejsha – You are my whole universe, a year ago I thought, that I would lose you. I don’t want to risk it again –

– Thor… - Ejsha started, but Thor raised his hand to silence her.

– The Tesseract also confirms, that something bad is going to happen –

Ejsha smiled sadly: - My king, you are wrong in defining what is first and what follows: instead of being happy with that, what you have already worked out by yourself, you despair… but the reason for your pain hasn’t appeared yet … You say, that you don’t want to lose me: Well it has already happened, because I do not agree to be just a trophy in your collection of wild beasts –

Thor laughed hearing such comparison – Ejsha, the king is connected to the Tesseract, so if I am afraid, she reflects all my fears… -

- Then push away your fears! –

– But if something bad is going to happen, then I am also filled with her pain –

– And now… her pain… is it connected with me? – Ejsha asked.

– I am not sure… – Thor was reluctant to answer.

– You see: we don’t know what is going to happen – she told him gently – But be sure of this: as long as it depends on me, you will not lose me. I am not afraid of the next delivery… I wasn’t ready for Kesti, none of Asgard would be… but I know now, what possibly awaits me and I won’t give up –

Thor caressed her cheek.

– Nevertheless as your wife I am also connected to you, if you suffer, I want to know why, to help you; if you mourn, I want to cheer you up… Tell me, what can I do for you to make you happy? –

Thor cuddled Ejsha – Love me – he whispered.

Ejsha smiled relieved – Guaranteed –

---

Ashira was born a year later; a tiny, fair baby with the huge eyes of her mother, totally different than the big, black haired and very lively Kesti. Ashira from the very beginning was gentle and… fearful, as if all Thor’s fears and suspicions concentrated on the forming of her character: she was scared of every living creature, so literally she wouldn’t say boo even to a goose; Thor carried her in his arms during all their journeys, and even though feeling so protected by her daddy she remained trembling and watchful. Ejsha guessed the reason for those fears, but she never blamed Thor for that: even being connected to the Tesseract he couldn’t have foreseen it.

---

When Martin was fourteen, Kiran thirteen, Greta and Kesti six and Ashira almost four years old, something totally unexpected happened: Pepper realized that she is pregnant… oh yees… the Golden Age of peace and prosperity influenced also the well being of people on Earth, while the shadows of the past, fears sewed in their minds by the Blackeyed faded slowly and became nothing more than nightmares. The human world developed rapidly, the Asgardians and the Giants were about to organize common searches – they agreed to risk on finding the Dragon Planet. Kirk was with them. The Hairies also lived peacefully and contently.

Soon it turned out that Rosie was pregnant too, so Ana and Marysha were born in the same month, the first at the beginning, the second by the end. Tony was so proud, that he financed free Iron Man’ shows all over the world. Well not all were amazed by that, some commented that he could have spent his money more wisely, but he didn’t care.

---

Not much later on Thor and Loki were sitting on their preferred upper terrace. Kirk was not with them, he hadn’t returned yet from his last crazy journey. Greta and Kesti skipped using a long jumping rope, one turned it and the other was skipping. Unexpectedly Kiran, and soon also Martin joined them – thanks to their energy the play speeded up: it changed actually into a competition.

Thor was surprised seeing the boys fooling around so freely, but Loki only smiled to that.

– They are still very childish, although they look almost grown up and are quite smart to that.
They don’t have our inhibitions… - Loki explained their behavior to Thor.

- Kiran should be careful while playing with Martin – Thor argued – Martin’s a human only –

– Really? – Loki sneered – This human is catching up marvelously, and he is by one year older; at their age it still makes a difference. If I didn’t know, that he’s been adopted, I would say, that in terms of creativity he’s already better than his father –

– Well, I could say the same about you, our father didn’t have it easy with you… - Thor said it smiling slightly.

– I was an awful son to his very end – Loki remarked darkly.

– Loki I didn’t want to… -

- I know it. Tell me instead, what is going on in Asgard – this way Loki changed the subject.

Thor didn’t answer.

– Will Ashira hide from me again? –

Thor came nearer to the railing and leaned on it – The Tesseract behaves unchanged, only violet waves suppressing her, nothing more, no visions and… no hope; it has started shortly after Kesti’s delivery… Something blocks her, holds her imprisoned… I know, she’s not alive, but… she’s clearly suffering, it’s her, not me for sure – Thor turned back to Loki – But I have a vague feeling that it is connected to us, to this world and to our Asgardian one. Something is going to happen. Kirk is still searching for the Dragon Planet, we launch more and more ships, but this something leaks all the time through my fingers –

– Are you afraid? – Loki asked getting up.

– Yes – Thor answered him – This waiting for the unknown is unbearable –

– We’ve tried to contact the Blackeyed, they ignore us, but their activity is on their usual level, nothing new… Tony and Bruce developed a new tracking program, my Scepter is excellent – Loki was analyzing the issue – Well, Vision also has helped us a little– he added.

– And the covers, the ones my wife talked about? –

– Oh… we have checked all the files for that: covers, flying umbrellas, jelly-fishes, kites, ghosts. Evelyn, the one to whom we have paid a visit, called them vampires and I would say, this is the most suitable name, because they feed on their prey’s energy… a pure mind, or the one in ecstasy is able to resist them… for some time only, but this time should be enough to destroy them without committing suicide, by some effort of course. This is a theory only, we have never caught one –

– Maybe you would succeed in catching another one of the Blackeyed ? – Thor suggested to Loki.

– Wow! And who said that! Last time you were, well, expressively against it… -

- Last time I wasn’t so angry about this silence. They try to scare us with not knowing what and then suddenly keep silent –

They stood for a while; lost in their own thoughts.

– Have you ever considered that it could be the influence of those who sent me for the first war hereto on Midheim? – Loki asked whispering. He shivered at that. Even though several years already had passed he still was afraid of Him, of the Nameless.

Thor stiffened – Yes I have, but even you with your Scepter can’t prove their activity in our part of the Universe. Vision also told me nothing about it. If we don’t find them we won’t be able to act against nor to take any precautions. Anyway I assume they don’t have any access to the Tesseract; if they had it, we would have had war here already. They must be far away from our worlds –

– You’re right… The passing thereto and back again had cost me years of my life –

– You still don’t remember, how to open the side-passage for the Tesseract, do you? –

Loki shook his head – I only remember the falling, falling into the abyss… – he smiled somewhat bitterly – …you’ve thrown me into –

– Loki, I am truly sorry –

– You know, you don’t have to apologize – Loki interrupted quickly - I repaid you many times already – Loki went to Thor and laid his hand on Thor’s arm – It is me, who should apologize, for the flight down in Hulk’s cage –

It was Thor’s turn to deny.

– No brother – Loki didn’t let his brother speak - I can’t forgive myself for it… From all my cruelties I have done, this one was the worst and I don’t know until today, how to reward you for this wrong… No one has looked at me the way you did, never before and never after –

Instead of answering Thor just nodded.

---

The Nameless felt it. Oh yes, the Shadow was hungry again. So It desperately was searching for the light. But Its purpose wasn’t unification with the light, but swallowing it, ripping it apart, tearing into a thousand pieces and consuming it entirely, to the last photon. And he felt… the same desires. Actually they both were enhancing and enforcing each other in that and were checking further layers of the space. The layers were plenty, nevertheless searching among them was more successful than going through the physical world, which was as a touchable space disturbed by living beings. The layers were different, physically unreal, but by some efforts and by a careful searching they always revealed hidden miracles. This time was no different.
The Nameless noticing the intensity of the illumination became almost breathless. He bowed forwards, not only in his dream. He looked at the light with a real admiration, it was warm, nice, pleasant, lustful even, he felt it was awakening fireworks of euphoria in his heart. The Shadow also seemed to be impressed, It was stretching Its unstable tentacle-like fingers towards this light, but despite the Shadow’s smoky nature It couldn’t dim the shiny… - Stone! It’s a stone! – the Nameless was watching with a surprised look in his face the structure of the surface of this light – It is another Holy Stone, it has a very regular form. But the faces are different in size and shape. Actually there are only two versions of the faces, and there are more of the ones with six sides than of those with five… - he wondered, and not for the first time he doubted whether the Shadow was only interested in the light, or also with something, which was actually the light’s source - already the process of the swallowing of the light seemed to be extremely painful for that source – That something which keeps such a complicated light structure together has to be powerful – the Nameless continued his analysis and smiled afterwards: he also wanted to gain it, to gain as much power as possible… for himself... Great power had always attracted him… - Let’s give the Shadow its light – he thought and the light’s source he meant to catch for himself.

- They’re preparing for jumping between the layers – Ori thought being clearly upset; he had been awakened just a while ago due to his Master’s dreaming. And he was standing now at a safe distance, watchful and concentrated – But what about the invasion? So much effort and so many troubles… - he worried.

The Nameless suddenly tensed, and immediately turned towards Ori who seemed to him to be hiding under one of the arcs which surrounded his throne. The eyes of the Nameless were conscious and showed he was back from his dreaming.

- Maybe they won’t do the jumping this time – Ori thought relieved – Master… - he started aloud - … everything is ready to attack. We only need to collect some more energy for the return way -

The Nameless however raised his left hand.

- I understand – Ori said, quickly bowing low to his master. There already had been many Chitauri, who still standing but with a ripping scream had been thrown out of the space-platform – The invasion isn’t our priority now… -

The Nameless presented him his white teeth in a wide smile – Oh, no… - he said watching the crouched form of his first servant – This time we’ll kill two birds with one stone… uhhh… - he suddenly gasped sensing something new - … or maybe even three… - he finished entering immediately into his dreaming phase again.
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Redsledge
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Joined: 17 Oct 2013, 02:44

12 Mar 2016, 00:25 #7

Some good stories here. Yall make a homie wanna put together a contribution.
One of the worlds greatest pleasures is secret knowledge. Things you learn that your peers don't know, or imagine you know. Its the lifetime batting average of every member of the Yankees, stats of Desert Storm, or the names and home-worlds of legions of Superheroes. Commit this knowledge to memory, and you can speak the private language of those who have approached this with equal dedication.

The will of the warrior is the resolute acceptance of death - Musashi

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Xbox1: RedsledgeBLU
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12 Mar 2016, 15:15 #8

Redsledge @ Mar 11 2016, 08:25 PM wrote: Some good stories here. Yall make a homie wanna put together a contribution.
The more the merrier. Someone mentioned that they'd try and submit a story today.
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Magneta
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Magneta
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Joined: 28 Sep 2013, 09:22

12 Mar 2016, 21:29 #9

Ok, as promised, I'm entering for this month's writing comp!

As I said before, this entry is different from my usual entries. The fan fic I've posted in is actually one based on 'The Hunchback of Notre-Dame' and has a mixture of both the book and or course the Disney film (which I can't believe is 20 years old this June :surprise: ). For those who haven't seen the Disney film, I 100% recommend it as it has- obviously- a much more happier ending than the book had (I applaud Disney for that, considering how controversial the book was). Anyway, before I babble on too far, my fan fic takes place during and after the events of the Disney film. There are nods to the book of course later on in the story but I'll just stick to the first two chapters (which I'm going to do some slight edits on considering the controversial topics of the original novel/Disney film).

****************************

Hell Spawn

Chapter 1


A little girl around eight years old came hurrying down the main steps of the nunnery, raven black hair flying behind her.

‘...Frollo; to you, everything is witch craft these days’ said a sister who was talking to a tall man in the hallway, and clearly not happy with him.

‘Sister Sarah, it’s for the best.’

The good sister shook her head sadly.

‘I thought marriage had changed you eight years ago Claude Frollo.’

Frollo would’ve said something else had he not caught sight of the girl on the stairs. Sister Sarah turned to see what he was looking at and saw the smiling girl hurrying towards them.

‘No more of this matter Sarah’ Frollo growled angrily at her, daring Sister Sarah to say anything more on the subject, ‘not whilst my daughter is present.’

Sister Sarah glared angrily back at him but kept her mouth shut. It wasn’t her place to say anything against him whether Sister Sarah liked it or not.

The little girl ran to hug her father who returned it as though the before mentioned argument had never taken place.

‘Ah, Mary, it’s good to see you again after the last couple of days’ said Frollo, clearly glad to see his only daughter.

‘Is everything alright father? You seem worried about something’ Mary asked innocently.

‘Just another trial I have to judge. I’ve had my mind on it for the last several hours.’

Sister Sarah coughed to hide her annoyance, making Judge Frollo shoot a glare at her.

‘You said it was a woman, father.’

‘What did I tell you about listening to other people’s conversations Mary Frollo?’

‘To not to...but at least let me go and see them.’

‘Not dressed in your night dress you aren’t. It’s past your bedtime. Besides; this woman is accused of witchcraft. She already tried to get inside my head. I don’t want her doing the same thing to you Mary.’

Mary raised an unconvinced eyebrow at Frollo but Frollo’s expression was firm. She shrugged it off...and went out the front door anyway.

‘Mary; get back here!’ Frollo demanded angrily at her.

Mary stopped at the door after she had opened it and didn’t feel her father’s grip on her arm as she blinked in astonishment at the scene before her.

Armed guards were waiting patiently for Frollo and there were prisoners in cages. The one that really made Mary stop was a beautiful young woman...who was glaring daggers at Frollo and looked like she wanted to murder him. The woman stopped however when she saw Mary’s appearance and blinked in surprise at the girl.

Mary would’ve moved forward but Frollo’s grip held her back.

What father?’ Mary asked, irritated as Frollo tried to bring her back inside (and also caused the woman to blink in astonishment at the mention of the word “father”).

‘I told you Mary; get in!’ was Frollo’s stern reply.

‘I wanted to see her. She doesn’t look evil though father. Please let me see her.’

Frollo was trying his hardest not to explode with anger at Mary’s innocence but he didn’t blame her either. As soon as Frollo’s grip on Mary was eased however, Mary walked over to the woman without another word.

‘You’re a good dancer’ said Mary to her.

The woman gave Mary a sad smile.

‘Thank you but when and where have you seen me dance? I’ve never seen you until now.’

‘My room is high. I could just make you out the other day at the Feast of Fools’ Mary replied.

The woman gave her a sad smile before Frollo demanded at Mary-

'Get back here at once girl!'

Mary hesitated before returning to Frollo, who was glaring furiously at the young woman.

'Don't ignore me when I'm talking to you Mary. I called for you twice already! Also, I'm a bit late it seems. Have you said your prayers like I've told you to do Mary?' Frollo asked.

'I say them every night before I go to bed father' she replied.

Frollo nodded in approval at her.

'Then off to bed with you and I'll see you in the morning.'

After a quick hug, Mary Frollo watched her father leave, not knowing that it was the last time she'd ever see him again.

Chapter 2

Ten Years Later


I woke up to the sound of Notre-Dame's bells tolling away and shoved my bedcover over my head to try and drown out the noise. I didn't want to wake up today. In fact, I didn't want to go outside today full stop. A sharp tap on the door had to bring me to my senses though.

'Mary Frollo; you're going to be late for morning prayers!' Sister Sarah called from the door, clearly annoyed.

'I'm not well Sarah' I lied.

An exasperated sigh came from the other end of the door.

'Fine then; I'll visit you after morning prayers then.'

I didn't poke my head out the blankets until the sound of Sister Sarah's footsteps faded. I sighed sadly. It was hard to believe that it had been ten years since father had died.

No-one had told me what had happened to him; it was that the evening before he was there and the next morning, Sister Sarah had told me that he had died during a battle for Notre-Dame the night before. Even Sister Sarah- the kind nun that looked after me and had done so since my father had entrusted me in her care after my mother had died giving birth to me because he was too busy to look after me- wouldn't tell me, no matter how many times I had asked her. All I got was a sad gaze and that was it.

But today, I had every reason and right not to come out of my bedroom. I told myself that very firmly. Then I felt guilty because I felt like I had basically lied to Sister Sarah. I sighed heavily. Nothing was ever easy, even wanting my own way.

No; I wouldn't join in morning prayers but I would take a walk instead to Notre-Dame. Where father was last seen and where- some people said- his restless unholy spirit still haunted the place.

*******************************

To be continued
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13 Mar 2016, 03:27 #10

Three entries so far and one possibly/likely. Good stuff!
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Redsledge
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Joined: 17 Oct 2013, 02:44

13 Mar 2016, 20:25 #11

I like them a little shorter, that one had some creepy in it.
One of the worlds greatest pleasures is secret knowledge. Things you learn that your peers don't know, or imagine you know. Its the lifetime batting average of every member of the Yankees, stats of Desert Storm, or the names and home-worlds of legions of Superheroes. Commit this knowledge to memory, and you can speak the private language of those who have approached this with equal dedication.

The will of the warrior is the resolute acceptance of death - Musashi

PS4: Redsledge
Xbox1: RedsledgeBLU
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14 Mar 2016, 15:53 #12

My story was kinda long. There really wasn't any way of shortening it.
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darktruth
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Joined: 08 Dec 2011, 13:45

15 Mar 2016, 04:41 #13

I'll have an entry. It'll either be a second part to Dungeon Crawl or another original idea. Just sorting out my ideas for it. Hopefully have it done by the weeks end
"Don't Act Too Paranoid Or They'll Know You're Onto Them."

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15 Mar 2016, 06:05 #14

darktruth @ Mar 15 2016, 12:41 AM wrote: I'll have an entry. It'll either be a second part to Dungeon Crawl or another original idea. Just sorting out my ideas for it. Hopefully have it done by the weeks end
That would give us a confirmed 4 stories this month. Someone else said they might. I'm glad we got this competition going this month.

That reminds me. If we keep this up, we're going to need to have award signatures. I might try and come up with something new unless we can get the old signatures updated.
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Redsledge
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15 Mar 2016, 14:05 #15

Big Thunder! @ Mar 14 2016, 03:53 PM wrote: My story was kinda long. There really wasn't any way of shortening it.
I dont mind long stories either. Its just faster to read a short one with how much time i spend working and keeping my house in order lol.
One of the worlds greatest pleasures is secret knowledge. Things you learn that your peers don't know, or imagine you know. Its the lifetime batting average of every member of the Yankees, stats of Desert Storm, or the names and home-worlds of legions of Superheroes. Commit this knowledge to memory, and you can speak the private language of those who have approached this with equal dedication.

The will of the warrior is the resolute acceptance of death - Musashi

PS4: Redsledge
Xbox1: RedsledgeBLU
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15 Mar 2016, 14:34 #16

Redsledge @ Mar 15 2016, 10:05 AM wrote:
Big Thunder! @ Mar 14 2016, 03:53 PM wrote: My story was kinda long. There really wasn't any way of shortening it.
I dont mind long stories either. Its just faster to read a short one with how much time i spend working and keeping my house in order lol.
Yes, true.

I can get busy and it can be hard to read long stories when I have things I need to get done. When I was writing my story I kept thinking: "Boy, I'm trying to get to the end, but the path to the end sure needs a lot of detail!"

Like the CAD models I make, a lack of detail can make a story dull and uninteresting. One of the problems with writing, I've found, is that you have this picture in your mind filled with detail. You have a scene in mind - a lamp over on a table, a thin mist in the air, the sound of a rippling brook, etc. You can picture it clearly. The problem is, you can't describe all of those details without pages and pages in between lines of dialogue. I think what makes a good writer is his or her ability to make a framework where the structure of the story is unmistakable and interesting and the reader is free to fill the details in. The picture in their mind might look completely different than what's in yours, but the story is just as rich as what you intended.

I've noticed that some writers seem to have a lot in their minds that they fail to set up as that framework. For instance, a character suddenly appears and the writer fails to describe them, explain their background or even why they're included. When it comes to fan-fics, some writers fail to describe characters that they assume everyone is familiar with.

Using my Marvel Star Wars stories as an example, I've got "familiar" Marvel characters whose origins are in a Star Wars universe. My intended "reading audience", you might say", are people familiar with both Marvel Comics and movies and the Star Wars movies (and novels). Now, here I am putting some chapters from these stories in a fan fiction writing contest. It would be a mistake if I didn't put a lot of detail in due to the fact that: 1) The readers in this contest may have no knowledge of the background of these characters and situations, and 2) if what I submit is a chapter in the middle of a story, the reader may have no idea where the story is coming from or going.
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Magneta
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Magneta
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Joined: 28 Sep 2013, 09:22

15 Mar 2016, 20:13 #17

Big Thunder! @ Mar 15 2016, 02:34 PM wrote:
Redsledge @ Mar 15 2016, 10:05 AM wrote:
Big Thunder! @ Mar 14 2016, 03:53 PM wrote: My story was kinda long. There really wasn't any way of shortening it.
I dont mind long stories either. Its just faster to read a short one with how much time i spend working and keeping my house in order lol.
Yes, true.

I can get busy and it can be hard to read long stories when I have things I need to get done. When I was writing my story I kept thinking: "Boy, I'm trying to get to the end, but the path to the end sure needs a lot of detail!"

Like the CAD models I make, a lack of detail can make a story dull and uninteresting. One of the problems with writing, I've found, is that you have this picture in your mind filled with detail. You have a scene in mind - a lamp over on a table, a thin mist in the air, the sound of a rippling brook, etc. You can picture it clearly. The problem is, you can't describe all of those details without pages and pages in between lines of dialogue. I think what makes a good writer is his or her ability to make a framework where the structure of the story is unmistakable and interesting and the reader is free to fill the details in. The picture in their mind might look completely different than what's in yours, but the story is just as rich as what you intended.

I've noticed that some writers seem to have a lot in their minds that they fail to set up as that framework. For instance, a character suddenly appears and the writer fails to describe them, explain their background or even why they're included. When it comes to fan-fics, some writers fail to describe characters that they assume everyone is familiar with.

Using my Marvel Star Wars stories as an example, I've got "familiar" Marvel characters whose origins are in a Star Wars universe. My intended "reading audience", you might say", are people familiar with both Marvel Comics and movies and the Star Wars movies (and novels). Now, here I am putting some chapters from these stories in a fan fiction writing contest. It would be a mistake if I didn't put a lot of detail in due to the fact that: 1) The readers in this contest may have no knowledge of the background of these characters and situations, and 2) if what I submit is a chapter in the middle of a story, the reader may have no idea where the story is coming from or going.
I'm really poor at describing things, regardless if it's characters, places or whatever it is I'm supposed to be describing :moody: .

As for story ideas, I just dream 'em up or watch films or read comics. Right now, I've finally started to include Deadpool's cancer treatment after watching the 'Deadpool' film. For moat of the part, I've been using Ryan's performance from 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine' (don't hit me) until just before the 'Deadpool' film came out so I changed him once more.
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Redsledge
Kree
Joined: 17 Oct 2013, 02:44

15 Mar 2016, 22:52 #18

Off topic, i know. Still, we need a hand in the vs threads for draft votes. Please lend a few minutes. :thbsup:
One of the worlds greatest pleasures is secret knowledge. Things you learn that your peers don't know, or imagine you know. Its the lifetime batting average of every member of the Yankees, stats of Desert Storm, or the names and home-worlds of legions of Superheroes. Commit this knowledge to memory, and you can speak the private language of those who have approached this with equal dedication.

The will of the warrior is the resolute acceptance of death - Musashi

PS4: Redsledge
Xbox1: RedsledgeBLU
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Thinkerer
Kree
Joined: 01 Oct 2013, 16:30

16 Mar 2016, 07:57 #19

If theres simply a synopsis contest someday ill join :) This is a little too big for me atm.
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Joined: 03 Oct 2013, 20:56

16 Mar 2016, 13:27 #20

Thinkerer @ Mar 16 2016, 03:57 AM wrote: If theres simply a synopsis contest someday ill join :) This is a little too big for me atm.
Here it is. Repeat for each story...

"There's a problem. The bad guys are behind it. The good guys worry about it and eventually figure out what to do. The good guys defeat the bad guys. The End."
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Thinkerer
Kree
Joined: 01 Oct 2013, 16:30

16 Mar 2016, 19:05 #21

Good story!
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ewkada
Inhuman
Joined: 21 Dec 2013, 01:44

16 Mar 2016, 21:12 #22

the shortest synopsis:

VENI VIDI VICI
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Redsledge
Kree
Joined: 17 Oct 2013, 02:44

16 Mar 2016, 23:00 #23

ewkada @ Mar 16 2016, 09:12 PM wrote: the shortest synopsis:

VENI VIDI VICI
We would need one hell of a character for it to work to the same effect. Making a Caesar is no small matter. The act of conceiving him does little justice to the name. Hell maybe it was the best sex ever lol.
One of the worlds greatest pleasures is secret knowledge. Things you learn that your peers don't know, or imagine you know. Its the lifetime batting average of every member of the Yankees, stats of Desert Storm, or the names and home-worlds of legions of Superheroes. Commit this knowledge to memory, and you can speak the private language of those who have approached this with equal dedication.

The will of the warrior is the resolute acceptance of death - Musashi

PS4: Redsledge
Xbox1: RedsledgeBLU
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ewkada
Inhuman
Joined: 21 Dec 2013, 01:44

18 Mar 2016, 18:47 #24

a restless spirit ?
bring him on, Mag !
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darktruth
Neo
Joined: 08 Dec 2011, 13:45

18 Mar 2016, 21:18 #25

Might be using an old issue of a story for the comp, as my original idea isn't taking enough shape yet. If I decide to do this the issue should go up tonight.
"Don't Act Too Paranoid Or They'll Know You're Onto Them."

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