when do you know your ready to move on to donor embryo

when do you know your ready to move on to donor embryo

Joined: January 26th, 2011, 9:06 pm

April 25th, 2011, 8:41 pm #1

I have 2 failed ivf's behind me, i will do my next in may. my question to you guys is how did you know when it is time to move to donor embryo. i say donor embryo as it is alot less expensive than donor egg and we could not afford donor egg even with cooper. donor embryo is a quarter of the price. they say it can take up to 1 yr to get matched. i am just not sure of the whole thing yet. did anyone ever get on the list before you were sure.thanks for all you help
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Anonymous
Anonymous

April 25th, 2011, 9:12 pm #2

I'm so sorry your OE attempts have not worked. You have a lot of company and sympathy here.

I don't know how much it would cost to get placed on waiting lists, but at least it could save you time. If you recently had IVFs all your testing is likely up-to-date so that won't be another expense or delay. There is a real shortage of donated embryos out there (something like only 6% of people who intend to donate embryos actually go through with it).

There is miracles waiting dot org, for parents who want to know more about the couple they are donating to and interview them in advance, but it might be good to hold off on that option until you have more firm conviction about going forward.

There are some very cheap DE programs overseas that may end up being even less expensive than donor embryo, if that is something you want to look into.
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Joined: January 26th, 2011, 9:06 pm

April 25th, 2011, 9:26 pm #3

Thank you so much for your response. do you know where overseas i could look into the donor egg. thanks
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Newbie
Newbie

April 25th, 2011, 9:56 pm #4

I have 2 failed ivf's behind me, i will do my next in may. my question to you guys is how did you know when it is time to move to donor embryo. i say donor embryo as it is alot less expensive than donor egg and we could not afford donor egg even with cooper. donor embryo is a quarter of the price. they say it can take up to 1 yr to get matched. i am just not sure of the whole thing yet. did anyone ever get on the list before you were sure.thanks for all you help
I am sorry that your OE ivfs have not worked but hopefully your May shot will. I as well had OE ivfs that did not work. This was a few years after getting pg on my own and mc at twelve weeks. I didn't even know what RE stood for at that point.
I don't think you will find someone out there who can definitely tell you when its time to move on to DE. For me, it was the desire to have a child, nothing else matters. It took a lot of soul searching and heart ache to get there but that is all that matters to me.
I wish you the best of luck. I found this board a few months ago and wish I had it when I was at your stage. The ladies here are a great source of info and support.
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BlessedThistle
BlessedThistle

April 26th, 2011, 3:50 am #5

I have 2 failed ivf's behind me, i will do my next in may. my question to you guys is how did you know when it is time to move to donor embryo. i say donor embryo as it is alot less expensive than donor egg and we could not afford donor egg even with cooper. donor embryo is a quarter of the price. they say it can take up to 1 yr to get matched. i am just not sure of the whole thing yet. did anyone ever get on the list before you were sure.thanks for all you help
with my own eggs - just IUIs as I could get pregnant that way but never managed to stay pregnant long. Ultimately I did spend enough money that I could have financed a $$$ donor cycle, ironically! But it was all nickled and dimed away - a few hundred here, a few thousand there. I've always been open to multiple paths to motherhood though and spent a year as a foster mother, thinking I might ultimately adopt that way (my kids were reunited successfully).

A bit of advice I'd give you - get on waiting lists around the country since the speed at which they move can vary. I got to the top of the list in Albuquerque first and luckily one of the donor profiles struck a strong chord with me so I cycled there, and was blessed with two wonderful babies as a result. But right when I got my BFP, I got to the top of a list in SoCal, so it was comforting to have a contingency plan in place though I did not need it in the end. Also check out donor embryo in the Czech Republic - last I knew, a cycle was only 1000 euros plus travel etc. Less expensive than my NM cycle was actually, I am sure!

Sorry I could not help more with the emotional aspects. I just think it is a wonderful, beautiful, especially meaningful path to motherhood.
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Joined: September 2nd, 2009, 2:55 pm

April 27th, 2011, 1:27 am #6

I have 2 failed ivf's behind me, i will do my next in may. my question to you guys is how did you know when it is time to move to donor embryo. i say donor embryo as it is alot less expensive than donor egg and we could not afford donor egg even with cooper. donor embryo is a quarter of the price. they say it can take up to 1 yr to get matched. i am just not sure of the whole thing yet. did anyone ever get on the list before you were sure.thanks for all you help
I am currently starting BCP's tonight to prepare for a donor embryo cycle hopefully in the next month. I am really ready to be pregnant with a healthy little bean, but right now hours before I have to take that first darn pill I am feeling so hesitant. I feel like taking the pill is really giving up and I do not want to feel like I am giving up just moving forward. I still feel very young at 38, compared to all of my neighbors that I live around that had their kids in their late, late 30's and 40's. I really thought I could too, but after 3 years of ttc, 1 failed IVF, elevated IVF, numerous symptoms of low estrogen, going to hell and back, literally and then conceiving our "miracle" baby only to lose him at 19 weeks b/c of a genetic inherited chromosomal issue called UBT that I have now been informed I have a 50/50 chance of having a healthy baby if I ever conceived again I feel like it is time to not give up, but move forward. My DH is perfect and all of the problems are with me and my old eggs that now also have this devastatingly horrible chance of either m/c or losing late in the pregnancy. The RE says we really should choose donor egg, but we have decided that donor embryo is the right choice for us. We have struggled this past week over the profiles that we were given to choose between and have now have narrowed it down to 1 with another as a backup. We are fortunate to have donor embryos available at our local clinic and although none of the choices are "perfect" we have realized no profile could possibly be perfect when all you really want is to be like everyone else out there in the fertile world and have your own "bio baby". But then no baby, child or person is perfect whether they are our genetics or not and all we can do is pick what we think is the best for our family. I feel like I really gave it my best at trying to conceive and then when we lost our baby boy last March to a genetic issue I just couldn't believe my bad, bad luck. Being in the 1% of the 1% of the 1% is really hard and I just can't take any more chances at losing another baby if we were ever able to possibly get pregnant again which is so highly unlikely. I just want to have a healthy baby to hold and complete our family and do not ever want to feel so sad again at the loss of a child and do not want to feel like a failure to my DH each month when I have to tell him once again, "No, I am not pregnant, I just got my AF."

I hope you are able to make the right decision for you. I don't think any of us can tell you how you will know it is time to move on towards donor egg or embryo, we can only share how we knew we were ready to move on. And as I write this I am still trying to convince myself and remind myself of all the reasons we moved on and that I didn't quit, I have never given up, I only moved forward.
I wish you well with your decision.

-J
Last edited by Tahoegal on April 27th, 2011, 1:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

April 27th, 2011, 5:42 pm #7

I have 2 failed ivf's behind me, i will do my next in may. my question to you guys is how did you know when it is time to move to donor embryo. i say donor embryo as it is alot less expensive than donor egg and we could not afford donor egg even with cooper. donor embryo is a quarter of the price. they say it can take up to 1 yr to get matched. i am just not sure of the whole thing yet. did anyone ever get on the list before you were sure.thanks for all you help
But I was getting old and scared of my OEs.

I look back now and realize it's not TERRIBLE odds and I could have tried more. But I only think that because I am financially struggling to pay for DEs and have some other things going on that make DE tough.

The idea of younger eggs have always appealed--perhaps because I could mentally not deal with amnio or anything that goes along with that.
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Daisy7412
Daisy7412

April 27th, 2011, 10:03 pm #8

I have 2 failed ivf's behind me, i will do my next in may. my question to you guys is how did you know when it is time to move to donor embryo. i say donor embryo as it is alot less expensive than donor egg and we could not afford donor egg even with cooper. donor embryo is a quarter of the price. they say it can take up to 1 yr to get matched. i am just not sure of the whole thing yet. did anyone ever get on the list before you were sure.thanks for all you help
You have a ton of support here -- alot of us have struggled through this and I personally got tired of failures. I am sad about the idea of looking into a child's eyes and not have the chance to see me but I think the ache of not having a child will be far far worse...my genetics are ok but my family has it's issues and I am willing to move beyond that to get where I need/want to be. It is hard...the whole process is not easy and I am sure in time you will decide what is right for you...
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