Very sensitive question re remaining embryo

Very sensitive question re remaining embryo

Joined: January 19th, 2007, 7:18 pm

November 21st, 2014, 3:53 am #1

Can I ask for you would do? We have 1 embryo left from the cycle in which I conceived our 2nd child. (We used used same donor for both fresh cycles, so the embryo would result in a full sibling for both of my children.)

We are paying a sickening amount of money to store it with the clinic. Appalling, really, & my inertia has led to paying it year after year. We have paid for 3 years so far at more than $100 a month. I swore when I paid the last bill I would make a decision & yet here I am.

We are done. Or at least are done in the absence of some horrific tragedy. I had a hyst. so any future cycle would require a GC & we have no intention on having a 3rd via GC.

Do we donate? We only have 1 although it is a day 6 blast. And dh would struggle with this. Yet he remains blissfully unconcerned with the bills or the storage issue. He's aware we have 1 left & we pay for storage but otherwise, he is blissfully ignorant.

Long term storage?

It is agonizing, yet at more than $100 per month, I have got to make a decision. This one is tearing me up.
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Joined: May 18th, 2006, 3:27 pm

November 21st, 2014, 4:15 am #2

Can you find cheaper storage? I only pay $100 something per quarter and it's cheaper on annual basis.
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Joined: January 19th, 2007, 7:18 pm

November 21st, 2014, 4:40 am #3

I can, but I have a very real fear that if I do, that may also seal its fate. The clinic I cycled at likely would not take it back in the future. Long story but the short version is that I went through this with the clinic when I had an embryo left from another cycle at a different clinic. I believe it's all about stats. Or largely so. As a result, I am concerned that moving it will for sure render it unusable. Even though I have no realistic plan to use it.
Last edited by ariadne2 on November 21st, 2014, 5:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: June 14th, 2014, 6:59 am

November 21st, 2014, 6:48 am #4

Can I ask for you would do? We have 1 embryo left from the cycle in which I conceived our 2nd child. (We used used same donor for both fresh cycles, so the embryo would result in a full sibling for both of my children.)

We are paying a sickening amount of money to store it with the clinic. Appalling, really, & my inertia has led to paying it year after year. We have paid for 3 years so far at more than $100 a month. I swore when I paid the last bill I would make a decision & yet here I am.

We are done. Or at least are done in the absence of some horrific tragedy. I had a hyst. so any future cycle would require a GC & we have no intention on having a 3rd via GC.

Do we donate? We only have 1 although it is a day 6 blast. And dh would struggle with this. Yet he remains blissfully unconcerned with the bills or the storage issue. He's aware we have 1 left & we pay for storage but otherwise, he is blissfully ignorant.

Long term storage?

It is agonizing, yet at more than $100 per month, I have got to make a decision. This one is tearing me up.
If you are sure you are done, then why the hesitation to donate? You asked what we would do. I would donate. In fact, once I have my (fingers crossed) 2 children from my cycle (I'm currently 21 weeks with first, fresh transfer) and hopefully another success with the remaining 4 frosties, I will donate the rest. Just my 2 cents.
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Joined: September 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm

November 21st, 2014, 11:26 am #5

Can I ask for you would do? We have 1 embryo left from the cycle in which I conceived our 2nd child. (We used used same donor for both fresh cycles, so the embryo would result in a full sibling for both of my children.)

We are paying a sickening amount of money to store it with the clinic. Appalling, really, & my inertia has led to paying it year after year. We have paid for 3 years so far at more than $100 a month. I swore when I paid the last bill I would make a decision & yet here I am.

We are done. Or at least are done in the absence of some horrific tragedy. I had a hyst. so any future cycle would require a GC & we have no intention on having a 3rd via GC.

Do we donate? We only have 1 although it is a day 6 blast. And dh would struggle with this. Yet he remains blissfully unconcerned with the bills or the storage issue. He's aware we have 1 left & we pay for storage but otherwise, he is blissfully ignorant.

Long term storage?

It is agonizing, yet at more than $100 per month, I have got to make a decision. This one is tearing me up.
That money could be a great college fund instead.

But I understand the real issue isn't the money. I think you know that my vote would go for donating to someone else, since I am a very lucky embryo recipient. But if that isn't something you'd feel comfortable doing, what about donating for research? Is that a possibility? Then, although the embryo wouldn't result in a pregnancy (or person) there is a chance that it could be used for some sort of good.

Really, I think you have to make your husband sit down and talk about this. It isn't something you can decide alone.
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De2
Joined: October 9th, 2014, 1:29 pm

November 21st, 2014, 2:16 pm #6

Can I ask for you would do? We have 1 embryo left from the cycle in which I conceived our 2nd child. (We used used same donor for both fresh cycles, so the embryo would result in a full sibling for both of my children.)

We are paying a sickening amount of money to store it with the clinic. Appalling, really, & my inertia has led to paying it year after year. We have paid for 3 years so far at more than $100 a month. I swore when I paid the last bill I would make a decision & yet here I am.

We are done. Or at least are done in the absence of some horrific tragedy. I had a hyst. so any future cycle would require a GC & we have no intention on having a 3rd via GC.

Do we donate? We only have 1 although it is a day 6 blast. And dh would struggle with this. Yet he remains blissfully unconcerned with the bills or the storage issue. He's aware we have 1 left & we pay for storage but otherwise, he is blissfully ignorant.

Long term storage?

It is agonizing, yet at more than $100 per month, I have got to make a decision. This one is tearing me up.
$100 a month is a lot.

I am asking because I am curious for myself, does your clinic allow you to donate your embryo to anyone that you want? Or do they only allow anonymous donations?
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Joined: May 18th, 2006, 3:27 pm

November 21st, 2014, 2:39 pm #7

I can, but I have a very real fear that if I do, that may also seal its fate. The clinic I cycled at likely would not take it back in the future. Long story but the short version is that I went through this with the clinic when I had an embryo left from another cycle at a different clinic. I believe it's all about stats. Or largely so. As a result, I am concerned that moving it will for sure render it unusable. Even though I have no realistic plan to use it.
My NY clinic has no problem using mine from Reprotech, but they're not stored at a clinic. Still a better cheaper option. Ask your clinic.
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

November 21st, 2014, 3:36 pm #8

Can I ask for you would do? We have 1 embryo left from the cycle in which I conceived our 2nd child. (We used used same donor for both fresh cycles, so the embryo would result in a full sibling for both of my children.)

We are paying a sickening amount of money to store it with the clinic. Appalling, really, & my inertia has led to paying it year after year. We have paid for 3 years so far at more than $100 a month. I swore when I paid the last bill I would make a decision & yet here I am.

We are done. Or at least are done in the absence of some horrific tragedy. I had a hyst. so any future cycle would require a GC & we have no intention on having a 3rd via GC.

Do we donate? We only have 1 although it is a day 6 blast. And dh would struggle with this. Yet he remains blissfully unconcerned with the bills or the storage issue. He's aware we have 1 left & we pay for storage but otherwise, he is blissfully ignorant.

Long term storage?

It is agonizing, yet at more than $100 per month, I have got to make a decision. This one is tearing me up.
Honestly, with just one, I'm not sure what I would do. I really hear you about the inertia; there are so many other things in my life that have been stuck that way. I did finally donate my two frosties in the Czech Republic, but I was so sad that they don't allow directed donations as there were several women over the years since my babies were born to whom I would have liked to donate. Would DH be more comfortable with donating to research? Less comfortable? {{{Hugs}}} Maggie (in VA)
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Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

November 21st, 2014, 4:42 pm #9

Can I ask for you would do? We have 1 embryo left from the cycle in which I conceived our 2nd child. (We used used same donor for both fresh cycles, so the embryo would result in a full sibling for both of my children.)

We are paying a sickening amount of money to store it with the clinic. Appalling, really, & my inertia has led to paying it year after year. We have paid for 3 years so far at more than $100 a month. I swore when I paid the last bill I would make a decision & yet here I am.

We are done. Or at least are done in the absence of some horrific tragedy. I had a hyst. so any future cycle would require a GC & we have no intention on having a 3rd via GC.

Do we donate? We only have 1 although it is a day 6 blast. And dh would struggle with this. Yet he remains blissfully unconcerned with the bills or the storage issue. He's aware we have 1 left & we pay for storage but otherwise, he is blissfully ignorant.

Long term storage?

It is agonizing, yet at more than $100 per month, I have got to make a decision. This one is tearing me up.
There are both women hoping to find homes for their embryos and women wanting to "adopt" embryos (one of the rules is we allow both the terms donate and adopt and don't correct others, but many seem to prefer the term "adopt"). I have seen women who would be very happy to receive a single embryo. Just a thought.
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Joined: July 24th, 2013, 9:42 pm

November 21st, 2014, 5:20 pm #10

Can I ask for you would do? We have 1 embryo left from the cycle in which I conceived our 2nd child. (We used used same donor for both fresh cycles, so the embryo would result in a full sibling for both of my children.)

We are paying a sickening amount of money to store it with the clinic. Appalling, really, & my inertia has led to paying it year after year. We have paid for 3 years so far at more than $100 a month. I swore when I paid the last bill I would make a decision & yet here I am.

We are done. Or at least are done in the absence of some horrific tragedy. I had a hyst. so any future cycle would require a GC & we have no intention on having a 3rd via GC.

Do we donate? We only have 1 although it is a day 6 blast. And dh would struggle with this. Yet he remains blissfully unconcerned with the bills or the storage issue. He's aware we have 1 left & we pay for storage but otherwise, he is blissfully ignorant.

Long term storage?

It is agonizing, yet at more than $100 per month, I have got to make a decision. This one is tearing me up.
I would call your RE at this clinic and ask if they can give you a grace period (without charging) for six months. During that time, you can really explore your disposition options and come to a decision that you are at peace with--even if that decision is moving it to long-term storage.

I know that on this board everyone tends to encourage donation but there are other options (I know you know this!) If your clinic has an IRB, you can donate to your clinics' own research--and know that you are helping forward the science of infertility. You can also do a compassionate transfer and hopefully, your clinic will not charge for that.

I know how difficult this is and empathize with you...
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