To my post below re:surrogacy .....

To my post below re:surrogacy .....

Starting over
Starting over

March 30th, 2011, 12:33 pm #1



dh & I talked it over and we (I) have decided to give another DE cycle a try...I have been so very dissappointed with BFN's, m/c's and my current clinic that i thought starting over w/the idea of surrogacy would bring me my baby But it is very complicated...

I am going to get myself together mentally & physically (do have some health issues) and move forward.

Ladies...Thank you so much for all your wisdom and information.

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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

March 30th, 2011, 2:13 pm #2

I know that must be a terribly hard decision, but I'm wishing you better luck with this next cycle and that you'll be on the road to becoming a mother soon. Are you using the same clinic? Take care, Maggie (in VA)
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Joined: July 23rd, 2008, 6:49 am

March 30th, 2011, 3:05 pm #3


dh & I talked it over and we (I) have decided to give another DE cycle a try...I have been so very dissappointed with BFN's, m/c's and my current clinic that i thought starting over w/the idea of surrogacy would bring me my baby But it is very complicated...

I am going to get myself together mentally & physically (do have some health issues) and move forward.

Ladies...Thank you so much for all your wisdom and information.
Is there any reason to believe that you can't carry? Just wondering why you considered surrogacy to begin with.

You will want to make sure you get a clean bill of health on your uterus as well as general good health before you embark on a pregnancy.

If you have any doubts about your uterus or any issues at all, I highly recommend Dr. Charles March in LA for a consult. He is a uterine specialist and is the one who diagnosed my problem when two other REs looked straight at it through hysteroscopy and missed it. It could have meant my life!

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Anonymous
Anonymous

March 30th, 2011, 3:12 pm #4

What do you mean, it could have meant your life? That if you tried to carry with the condition Dr March diagnosed, that you would be risking your life?
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Joined: July 23rd, 2008, 6:49 am

March 30th, 2011, 3:24 pm #5

And I'm not too happy that there were a few doctors who were just lax in their duties and I could have had a very bad outcome because of it. I should never have been attempting to get pregnant.

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Anonymous
Anonymous

March 30th, 2011, 3:30 pm #6

Even after Dr March gave you the diagnosis and information you still did a dual transfer, putting 2 embryos in you and 2 in the surrogate at the same time. I don't understand the risking death part, why do a transfer to yourself under those conditions?
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BBG
BBG

March 30th, 2011, 4:03 pm #7

I shouldn't have done it, but I was desperate to experience pregnancy. Dr. March said the risk of complications was X% (can't remember now) but that if I were under medical supervision from the get go with a "known" condition, I had a chance of a good outcome. However when I consulted (after the transfer and blighted ovum that resulted) with a perinatologist and my ob, they both said there were multiple risks and that death was one of them, and not that rare under the circumstances, and that I should absolutely give it up. In their opinion, knowing in advance about the condition did help matters, as Dr. March maintained, but certainly didn't guarantee a good outcome and the risk was too high in their professional opinion.

To me, the difference is between going in blind (because previous doctors had not diagnosed my condition and I could have been pregnant, even with multiples, and had no idea what we were dealing with, vs. going in with the knowledge that I had a certain condition that needed constant monitoring for my safety and that of the baby. I chose to go ahead thinking that with the knowledge I had, I could take an educated risk. That is a choice I did not have when the condition was undiagnosed, and there surely would have been a bad outcome if the doctors had no idea about it either.

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Joined: June 28th, 2008, 7:01 pm

March 30th, 2011, 7:42 pm #8

I think that there are a number of us who wanted so desperately to experience a pg, and for most it works out. I think there are a lot more women on here who have experienced an OB or two who told them due to her age, etc. that she shouldn't carry a pg, and everyone says to find a new OB. Especially if you felt you were making a calculated risk. There are plenty of women that have Asherman's that have managed to have a baby. And I also know of plenty of women that have then gotten further opinions, esp. after the fact and found out that the risks were really worse than orignally thought or believed.

All of us are faced with some difficult choices in the moment, and we all have to make calculated risks with the information that we have at the time. And I do agree, it is best to arm ourselves with knowledge and seek the opinions of top level professionals. But after that, we alone have to make the tough decisions based on that information. I would never judge another woman for making one of those tough choices. These are all very personal decisions.

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Joined: July 23rd, 2008, 6:49 am

March 30th, 2011, 8:04 pm #9

So true. So many women on these boards have been in the exact same situation.

My main contention, which I tried to make clear in my posts, is that when the first doctors missed my diagnosis, they left me at greater risk, and I hate to think what might have happened if I'd gone into a pregnancy without that critical information.
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