Time magazine story - my ds is 3 and still nurses. What do you think?

Time magazine story - my ds is 3 and still nurses. What do you think?

Joined: October 7th, 2007, 3:20 am

May 12th, 2012, 4:56 pm #1

I heard the story about Time while in the car and was surprised to hear the sensationalist BBC reporting. All the public they interviewed was super negative and ignorant. No body even had the facts. Here's what I would have wanted to hear clarified:

Older kids that nurse already do eat food and drink milk. Most in this situation are like my ds. They nurse a little bit before going to sleep. It is never in public. It probably still had some health benefits due to the passage of maternal antibodies in the milk.

I didn't see the actual article though. The picture was ridiculous and added to the sensationalist approach. It looked kinky. What do you think?

Other than the nursing, my ds is super (too?!) independent and well-adjusted (in nursery school half days, etc) and on track if not ahead of developmental markers. With one exception - he did not sleep through the night until he was 1 yr and 11 months old. When he woke in the night he always nursed too. You see, I broke all the customary rules and it turned out ok in my opinion!! I was fine with having my sleep interrupted for that long rather than trying CIO or other methods. I was terribly sleep deprived and paid for it in many ways but would not trade those sweet moments at night with him. For me it was a luxury. I had had to wait too long to enjoy being a momma to give up one moment of mothering. Now he sometimes says to me when I kiss him goodnight, "I'm going to sleep all night and not wake you up".

FWIW, both of my children were in the Arms Reach co-sleeper until they could sit up and then they went to a crib in their own room. They trashed about too much to allow sleep in a family bed. See, all kids are different and dogmatic rules should only be guidelines.

What surprised me is that my older ds weaned himself at 19 months. He saw a neighbor's newborn and said "Milk is for babies". And that was it. (Forgot to say that he was an early talker, he really said what I quoted). I don't know what, if anything I should do to finish weaning my 3 yo ds but my older son makes negative comments about the fact that he still nurses. I also know that dh does not agree with the nursing.

Please share your experiences

Golda

ps. I am the only 53 year old that I know that is lactating.
Last edited by GoldaM on May 12th, 2012, 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 23rd, 2010, 2:11 am

May 12th, 2012, 5:17 pm #2

I am 51 and still nursing my 2 year old DD!!!!! Both DH and I are on board with this..and we have a great child and we are so happy that we decided to continue..There are so many benefits to this, which we see daily.
As far as the article goes, I have not read it yet..but the cover is getting me so many comments from my family...My child does not feed in public..only if covered up (modesty issue for me)..she eats exactly what we eat and has a great appetite. We do not practice attachment parenting although, she does sleep with us..and we are slowly getting her into the bed.
Golda..where do you live? I am in NYC..
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

May 12th, 2012, 5:22 pm #3

I heard the story about Time while in the car and was surprised to hear the sensationalist BBC reporting. All the public they interviewed was super negative and ignorant. No body even had the facts. Here's what I would have wanted to hear clarified:

Older kids that nurse already do eat food and drink milk. Most in this situation are like my ds. They nurse a little bit before going to sleep. It is never in public. It probably still had some health benefits due to the passage of maternal antibodies in the milk.

I didn't see the actual article though. The picture was ridiculous and added to the sensationalist approach. It looked kinky. What do you think?

Other than the nursing, my ds is super (too?!) independent and well-adjusted (in nursery school half days, etc) and on track if not ahead of developmental markers. With one exception - he did not sleep through the night until he was 1 yr and 11 months old. When he woke in the night he always nursed too. You see, I broke all the customary rules and it turned out ok in my opinion!! I was fine with having my sleep interrupted for that long rather than trying CIO or other methods. I was terribly sleep deprived and paid for it in many ways but would not trade those sweet moments at night with him. For me it was a luxury. I had had to wait too long to enjoy being a momma to give up one moment of mothering. Now he sometimes says to me when I kiss him goodnight, "I'm going to sleep all night and not wake you up".

FWIW, both of my children were in the Arms Reach co-sleeper until they could sit up and then they went to a crib in their own room. They trashed about too much to allow sleep in a family bed. See, all kids are different and dogmatic rules should only be guidelines.

What surprised me is that my older ds weaned himself at 19 months. He saw a neighbor's newborn and said "Milk is for babies". And that was it. (Forgot to say that he was an early talker, he really said what I quoted). I don't know what, if anything I should do to finish weaning my 3 yo ds but my older son makes negative comments about the fact that he still nurses. I also know that dh does not agree with the nursing.

Please share your experiences

Golda

ps. I am the only 53 year old that I know that is lactating.
The story was actually on attachment parenting. There seems to be a huge backlash against it and demonizing of Dr. Sears. My older sister and her daughter nursed into toddlerhood, and while I admit that it took me aback when I first saw my sister nurse her daughter at 13 mos or so, it just wasn't any of my business. I did also vow I wouldn't do it that long, but it was a moot point as I had little breast milk and my twins weaned themselves at about 5.5 mos. As I responded in the comments to the Slate editorial several times, I just don't understand how people can get so invested in other people's breastfeeding. Maggie (in VA)
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Joined: January 19th, 2007, 7:18 pm

May 12th, 2012, 5:42 pm #4

I heard the story about Time while in the car and was surprised to hear the sensationalist BBC reporting. All the public they interviewed was super negative and ignorant. No body even had the facts. Here's what I would have wanted to hear clarified:

Older kids that nurse already do eat food and drink milk. Most in this situation are like my ds. They nurse a little bit before going to sleep. It is never in public. It probably still had some health benefits due to the passage of maternal antibodies in the milk.

I didn't see the actual article though. The picture was ridiculous and added to the sensationalist approach. It looked kinky. What do you think?

Other than the nursing, my ds is super (too?!) independent and well-adjusted (in nursery school half days, etc) and on track if not ahead of developmental markers. With one exception - he did not sleep through the night until he was 1 yr and 11 months old. When he woke in the night he always nursed too. You see, I broke all the customary rules and it turned out ok in my opinion!! I was fine with having my sleep interrupted for that long rather than trying CIO or other methods. I was terribly sleep deprived and paid for it in many ways but would not trade those sweet moments at night with him. For me it was a luxury. I had had to wait too long to enjoy being a momma to give up one moment of mothering. Now he sometimes says to me when I kiss him goodnight, "I'm going to sleep all night and not wake you up".

FWIW, both of my children were in the Arms Reach co-sleeper until they could sit up and then they went to a crib in their own room. They trashed about too much to allow sleep in a family bed. See, all kids are different and dogmatic rules should only be guidelines.

What surprised me is that my older ds weaned himself at 19 months. He saw a neighbor's newborn and said "Milk is for babies". And that was it. (Forgot to say that he was an early talker, he really said what I quoted). I don't know what, if anything I should do to finish weaning my 3 yo ds but my older son makes negative comments about the fact that he still nurses. I also know that dh does not agree with the nursing.

Please share your experiences

Golda

ps. I am the only 53 year old that I know that is lactating.
I didn't do extended nursing, so I can't offer any feedback there, but I HATED that photo.

I think it did a huge disservice to the issue of attachment parenting, parents who practice attachment parenting, & Dr. Sears. I haven't read the article yet, but I will. I did read that was what the article was about, though. Huge, huge disservice. And I feel so strongly about it, it's worth repeating: I hated the photo.

Well, I guess I will say that I think if it's still working for you & your ds, fine. If it's not working so well for you anymore and/or if you are starting to think it might not be best for your son in the long run, moving toward ending it is fine, too. And I do think that family factors - dh, teasing by a sibling - are worth considering. It's about what works best for your family taking your family's factors into account. It certainly sounds like it is limited & appropriate & for comfort, which I think is in line with what it should be at this point for extended nursing.



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Joined: August 6th, 2011, 6:43 am

May 12th, 2012, 5:50 pm #5

I heard the story about Time while in the car and was surprised to hear the sensationalist BBC reporting. All the public they interviewed was super negative and ignorant. No body even had the facts. Here's what I would have wanted to hear clarified:

Older kids that nurse already do eat food and drink milk. Most in this situation are like my ds. They nurse a little bit before going to sleep. It is never in public. It probably still had some health benefits due to the passage of maternal antibodies in the milk.

I didn't see the actual article though. The picture was ridiculous and added to the sensationalist approach. It looked kinky. What do you think?

Other than the nursing, my ds is super (too?!) independent and well-adjusted (in nursery school half days, etc) and on track if not ahead of developmental markers. With one exception - he did not sleep through the night until he was 1 yr and 11 months old. When he woke in the night he always nursed too. You see, I broke all the customary rules and it turned out ok in my opinion!! I was fine with having my sleep interrupted for that long rather than trying CIO or other methods. I was terribly sleep deprived and paid for it in many ways but would not trade those sweet moments at night with him. For me it was a luxury. I had had to wait too long to enjoy being a momma to give up one moment of mothering. Now he sometimes says to me when I kiss him goodnight, "I'm going to sleep all night and not wake you up".

FWIW, both of my children were in the Arms Reach co-sleeper until they could sit up and then they went to a crib in their own room. They trashed about too much to allow sleep in a family bed. See, all kids are different and dogmatic rules should only be guidelines.

What surprised me is that my older ds weaned himself at 19 months. He saw a neighbor's newborn and said "Milk is for babies". And that was it. (Forgot to say that he was an early talker, he really said what I quoted). I don't know what, if anything I should do to finish weaning my 3 yo ds but my older son makes negative comments about the fact that he still nurses. I also know that dh does not agree with the nursing.

Please share your experiences

Golda

ps. I am the only 53 year old that I know that is lactating.
I nursed my DD until her 4th birthday and it looked absolutely nothing like the picture on Time magazine. During the last few years she only nursed at night to go to sleep. It was not something I ever set out to do. In fact I was just hoping I could make it through one full year of breastfeeding. Turns out she was a very high needs baby and I was going through a divorce when she was three (not related to breastfeeding, just very different lifestyles). But she was just a needy child and toddler and loves routine. During a stressful time I think it was important we continued the nursing. And I'm glad I nursed her that long. I would do it again even though at times it often got annoying.

I think every kid is different. Many babies self wean way before a year. And many moms are not interested in nursing. So if your baby or toddler wants to nurse and the mom wants to then do it. I also think there is too much pressure on women to nurse now. Nothing wrong with formula, bottles, pacifers or sippy cups. Just do whatever works and you enjoy.

I have a feeling my DS will not be a long time nurser. He seems to be more interested in nursing for the food not so much comfort. He will tolerate a bottle but doesn't like it at all. My DD nursed for comfort. Different personalities.

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Joined: September 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm

May 12th, 2012, 6:09 pm #6

I heard the story about Time while in the car and was surprised to hear the sensationalist BBC reporting. All the public they interviewed was super negative and ignorant. No body even had the facts. Here's what I would have wanted to hear clarified:

Older kids that nurse already do eat food and drink milk. Most in this situation are like my ds. They nurse a little bit before going to sleep. It is never in public. It probably still had some health benefits due to the passage of maternal antibodies in the milk.

I didn't see the actual article though. The picture was ridiculous and added to the sensationalist approach. It looked kinky. What do you think?

Other than the nursing, my ds is super (too?!) independent and well-adjusted (in nursery school half days, etc) and on track if not ahead of developmental markers. With one exception - he did not sleep through the night until he was 1 yr and 11 months old. When he woke in the night he always nursed too. You see, I broke all the customary rules and it turned out ok in my opinion!! I was fine with having my sleep interrupted for that long rather than trying CIO or other methods. I was terribly sleep deprived and paid for it in many ways but would not trade those sweet moments at night with him. For me it was a luxury. I had had to wait too long to enjoy being a momma to give up one moment of mothering. Now he sometimes says to me when I kiss him goodnight, "I'm going to sleep all night and not wake you up".

FWIW, both of my children were in the Arms Reach co-sleeper until they could sit up and then they went to a crib in their own room. They trashed about too much to allow sleep in a family bed. See, all kids are different and dogmatic rules should only be guidelines.

What surprised me is that my older ds weaned himself at 19 months. He saw a neighbor's newborn and said "Milk is for babies". And that was it. (Forgot to say that he was an early talker, he really said what I quoted). I don't know what, if anything I should do to finish weaning my 3 yo ds but my older son makes negative comments about the fact that he still nurses. I also know that dh does not agree with the nursing.

Please share your experiences

Golda

ps. I am the only 53 year old that I know that is lactating.
DD is 2y9m and was always VERY enthusiastic about nursing. I tried to wean her for my FET but wasn't really successful. (please don't fuss.) She still 'nurses' a bit, though there isn't really much milk now.
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Joined: January 19th, 2007, 7:18 pm

May 12th, 2012, 6:23 pm #7

I didn't do extended nursing, so I can't offer any feedback there, but I HATED that photo.

I think it did a huge disservice to the issue of attachment parenting, parents who practice attachment parenting, & Dr. Sears. I haven't read the article yet, but I will. I did read that was what the article was about, though. Huge, huge disservice. And I feel so strongly about it, it's worth repeating: I hated the photo.

Well, I guess I will say that I think if it's still working for you & your ds, fine. If it's not working so well for you anymore and/or if you are starting to think it might not be best for your son in the long run, moving toward ending it is fine, too. And I do think that family factors - dh, teasing by a sibling - are worth considering. It's about what works best for your family taking your family's factors into account. It certainly sounds like it is limited & appropriate & for comfort, which I think is in line with what it should be at this point for extended nursing.



I thought it would be available online, but you have to subscribe to Time. There is a Q&A available with the mom on the cover & she blogs, for those interested.

http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/10/q ... =obnetwork



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Joined: October 7th, 2007, 3:20 am

May 12th, 2012, 6:52 pm #8

I heard the story about Time while in the car and was surprised to hear the sensationalist BBC reporting. All the public they interviewed was super negative and ignorant. No body even had the facts. Here's what I would have wanted to hear clarified:

Older kids that nurse already do eat food and drink milk. Most in this situation are like my ds. They nurse a little bit before going to sleep. It is never in public. It probably still had some health benefits due to the passage of maternal antibodies in the milk.

I didn't see the actual article though. The picture was ridiculous and added to the sensationalist approach. It looked kinky. What do you think?

Other than the nursing, my ds is super (too?!) independent and well-adjusted (in nursery school half days, etc) and on track if not ahead of developmental markers. With one exception - he did not sleep through the night until he was 1 yr and 11 months old. When he woke in the night he always nursed too. You see, I broke all the customary rules and it turned out ok in my opinion!! I was fine with having my sleep interrupted for that long rather than trying CIO or other methods. I was terribly sleep deprived and paid for it in many ways but would not trade those sweet moments at night with him. For me it was a luxury. I had had to wait too long to enjoy being a momma to give up one moment of mothering. Now he sometimes says to me when I kiss him goodnight, "I'm going to sleep all night and not wake you up".

FWIW, both of my children were in the Arms Reach co-sleeper until they could sit up and then they went to a crib in their own room. They trashed about too much to allow sleep in a family bed. See, all kids are different and dogmatic rules should only be guidelines.

What surprised me is that my older ds weaned himself at 19 months. He saw a neighbor's newborn and said "Milk is for babies". And that was it. (Forgot to say that he was an early talker, he really said what I quoted). I don't know what, if anything I should do to finish weaning my 3 yo ds but my older son makes negative comments about the fact that he still nurses. I also know that dh does not agree with the nursing.

Please share your experiences

Golda

ps. I am the only 53 year old that I know that is lactating.
The press, arghhhh! Some of the press has positioned this as attachment parenting is for SAHM. I work and I stay at home (telecommuter). I hate that the sensationalist photo misrepresents breast feeding. I wish the mother would not have agreed to that kind of crazy shot. It is a shame that the press has to sensationalize and cannot cover important issues responsibly. Our county ranks poorly relative to others in infant mortality. Some attribute this to the low proportion that breastfeed despite the recommendations from the national pediatrician and public health professional organizations. Also, breastfeeding is associated with lower risks of diseases including metabolic disease. More breastfeeding would help with the epidemic of childhood obesity and childhood onset of Type 2 diabetes.

It is very interesting how shocking the public finds this, given the steady diet of truly outrageos crap they are fed by the media.

Golda

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Joined: December 2nd, 2005, 3:49 pm

May 12th, 2012, 6:59 pm #9

I heard the story about Time while in the car and was surprised to hear the sensationalist BBC reporting. All the public they interviewed was super negative and ignorant. No body even had the facts. Here's what I would have wanted to hear clarified:

Older kids that nurse already do eat food and drink milk. Most in this situation are like my ds. They nurse a little bit before going to sleep. It is never in public. It probably still had some health benefits due to the passage of maternal antibodies in the milk.

I didn't see the actual article though. The picture was ridiculous and added to the sensationalist approach. It looked kinky. What do you think?

Other than the nursing, my ds is super (too?!) independent and well-adjusted (in nursery school half days, etc) and on track if not ahead of developmental markers. With one exception - he did not sleep through the night until he was 1 yr and 11 months old. When he woke in the night he always nursed too. You see, I broke all the customary rules and it turned out ok in my opinion!! I was fine with having my sleep interrupted for that long rather than trying CIO or other methods. I was terribly sleep deprived and paid for it in many ways but would not trade those sweet moments at night with him. For me it was a luxury. I had had to wait too long to enjoy being a momma to give up one moment of mothering. Now he sometimes says to me when I kiss him goodnight, "I'm going to sleep all night and not wake you up".

FWIW, both of my children were in the Arms Reach co-sleeper until they could sit up and then they went to a crib in their own room. They trashed about too much to allow sleep in a family bed. See, all kids are different and dogmatic rules should only be guidelines.

What surprised me is that my older ds weaned himself at 19 months. He saw a neighbor's newborn and said "Milk is for babies". And that was it. (Forgot to say that he was an early talker, he really said what I quoted). I don't know what, if anything I should do to finish weaning my 3 yo ds but my older son makes negative comments about the fact that he still nurses. I also know that dh does not agree with the nursing.

Please share your experiences

Golda

ps. I am the only 53 year old that I know that is lactating.
DD decided, at the age of 13 months, to wean herself. One day she just said, "No Mommy". I cried. I pumped for a week, and kept offering her the boob but no go. She was done. It coincided with her walking and I wonder if this is at all common. I had hoped to nurse her until at least 2 years old, but certainly would have until 3 as I know many mom who do. About 6 months ago I told her the story, and now, about once a week she says, "Mommy, I'm sorry I said 'Mommy no milky"!" She feels so badly that I was sad and I have to tell her again that it's ok and that it was natural for her to do that. Oy!

Then with the twins...it was so stressful nursing two with my needy 2 year old DD, moving to a new house and a new state, taking care of my mom with dementia from afar, etc. I did everything I could but my milk supply just wasn't enough for them. One twin was also always a very poor nurser (low oral motor muscle tone). Anyway, I nursed the poor nurser until about 7 months and the other until 11, and there are days, I tell you, I wish I could relactate (they are 2.6) but know that would be totally insane! They only drink milk from bottles, and only want milk when I'm around, so to me that means they are totally associating "milky" with "mommy" and they should have been on the boob longer. It makes me really sad.

It's fine and natural to do extended nursing IMHO!
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Joined: January 31st, 2011, 3:38 am

May 12th, 2012, 7:03 pm #10

I heard the story about Time while in the car and was surprised to hear the sensationalist BBC reporting. All the public they interviewed was super negative and ignorant. No body even had the facts. Here's what I would have wanted to hear clarified:

Older kids that nurse already do eat food and drink milk. Most in this situation are like my ds. They nurse a little bit before going to sleep. It is never in public. It probably still had some health benefits due to the passage of maternal antibodies in the milk.

I didn't see the actual article though. The picture was ridiculous and added to the sensationalist approach. It looked kinky. What do you think?

Other than the nursing, my ds is super (too?!) independent and well-adjusted (in nursery school half days, etc) and on track if not ahead of developmental markers. With one exception - he did not sleep through the night until he was 1 yr and 11 months old. When he woke in the night he always nursed too. You see, I broke all the customary rules and it turned out ok in my opinion!! I was fine with having my sleep interrupted for that long rather than trying CIO or other methods. I was terribly sleep deprived and paid for it in many ways but would not trade those sweet moments at night with him. For me it was a luxury. I had had to wait too long to enjoy being a momma to give up one moment of mothering. Now he sometimes says to me when I kiss him goodnight, "I'm going to sleep all night and not wake you up".

FWIW, both of my children were in the Arms Reach co-sleeper until they could sit up and then they went to a crib in their own room. They trashed about too much to allow sleep in a family bed. See, all kids are different and dogmatic rules should only be guidelines.

What surprised me is that my older ds weaned himself at 19 months. He saw a neighbor's newborn and said "Milk is for babies". And that was it. (Forgot to say that he was an early talker, he really said what I quoted). I don't know what, if anything I should do to finish weaning my 3 yo ds but my older son makes negative comments about the fact that he still nurses. I also know that dh does not agree with the nursing.

Please share your experiences

Golda

ps. I am the only 53 year old that I know that is lactating.
I don't care how long people choose to nurse their children. It's none of my business. It's no more my business than the fact that I didn't (well, actually, I couldn't, if you've seen my previous posts on the topic) is anyone else's business.

At the same time, I think the cover photo was tacky and went for the sensational. I expect this from the editors, but shame on the lactation consultant featured on the cover for sensationalizing the issue.

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