Things to remember when discussing blogs and bloggers

Joined: November 30th, 2006, 11:43 pm

March 20th, 2007, 5:06 am #1

I've been member of this board for years. First I read to follow some of my close friend's journeys, then I've shared some of my own. I know this board has it's ups and downs but I've generally found it to be supportive.

There have been a few threads in the past few days asking about and discussing certain blogs. I think it's great that people share resources. That's one of the fabulous thing about this board. And blogs are great.

But I think we should all keep in mind that behind every blog is a real person. A person who's courageous enough to share themselves and put themselves out there. It can be hard and scary.

Some people (like the amazing Karen of Naked Ovary) get hurt over and over again. By people they've never met and by people in their real lives who get angry at them. And then they (like Karen) go pass word protected, and all of us lose tremendously in the process.

The first infertility blog I read, like many folks a couple of years ago, was getupgrrl of chezmiscarriage. She wrote the most beautiful posts. But she had trolls and people stole from her so now none of her words, advice, inspiration, anything are out there for people just starting out.

Grrl lead me to Julie and Tertia and so many others. Grrl was incredibly supportive when I started my own blog. I thought no one would care. There weren't really any donor egg blogs back then. Wessel and Bee and I were all just getting started. Now there are at least a dozen.

When I went to South Africa over a year ago, Tertia contacted me. She wanted to offer her support and wanted to meet me (ME!little ol' me) but thought I wasn't interested. My husband and I met her for coffee and she was so warm and friendly and just awesome. Since then she's become a friend and I'm so honored to know her. I've been back to Cape Town and met Marko and her kids. I look forward to the day when she comes to the US for a book tour or just to hang out with all the friends she's made around the country.

In face, she's been exceedingly kind to all the folks from this board who have traveled to South Africa. She talks to folks, supports them, and cares a great deal.

She has been hurt a lot by commenters on her blog and by other folks in the blogosphere and internet who say mean things about her. I honestly don't know why anyone whould say such things, unless it's just jealousy.

She wrote that amazingly funny post called IVF Barbie that's been pass around again and again. She also wrote a post I love a lot called How to Be a Good Friend to an Infertile.

She doesn't want to go pass word protected. She does want to share her story and her fears because it resonates with so many people. She is a tremendous asset to Cape Fertility Clinic and Renew. She works hard to erase the stigma of infertility in her country, where things really are quite different from here. She's started an infertility support group just to help others.

And yes, she recently found out she was pregnant. It wasn't "ridculous" for her to think she was in menopause. She'd never EVER gotten pregnant on her own. In over seven years of trying it had never happened. So of course she thought it never would. Can you imagine? Finally one thing happened the way it should and it was a complete shock. She debated writing about it. She wasn't sure she was ready to share because she thought it might be hard to some of us still in the trenches. But above all she wanted to be honest and that's who she is.

Now admittedly I'm more than a little biased. I'm biased because I've seen her open herself up and get hurt. And I know how much it hurts her. She's my friend and it's grossly unfair. I've seen it happen to others. It's all to easy to sit here and comment on someone else's life.

But there are people behind these blogs. People with feelings. People who give a great deal of themselves. People who deserve more. So if you like to read blogs please keep that in mind. How sad it would be if everyone had to go password protected because a few people couldn't remember that it's not a soap opera, it's not some tv show, it's real life.

I'm sure Tertia could use a little extra love right now. I'm sure lots of bloggers can. So go delurk and tell your favorite blogger that you appreciate them and what they share. I know it would mean a lot to anyone.
Last edited by mod_millie on March 20th, 2007, 6:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: January 1st, 2006, 3:50 pm

March 20th, 2007, 7:26 am #2

I am so thrilled to hear the news - like many others, I often lurk on many different blogs - IVF, DE, and IF - I very rarely post, I often just dont know what to say. These ladies all have such strength - I am just in awe. Yeah, sounds juvenile, but really - who just starting the IVF process isnt in awe of the ladies who have done multiple cycles and come through intact?

I want to thank each of them, and the ladies on this board who share their journeys - their pain and joy. The words truly do matter, they let us know we aren't alone, that there is hope, that laughter is still possible between the tears.

I guess I'm a bit reluctant to delurk -as I feel I don't have anything to offer being new to all this myself. But I do wish each and everyone their heart's desires.



Kay

" Some people built castles in the air. She constructed hers from mashed potatoes, which kept down demolition costs." Sarah Sloane, Borrowing Priviledges
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Brownowl23
Brownowl23

March 20th, 2007, 9:27 am #3

I've been member of this board for years. First I read to follow some of my close friend's journeys, then I've shared some of my own. I know this board has it's ups and downs but I've generally found it to be supportive.

There have been a few threads in the past few days asking about and discussing certain blogs. I think it's great that people share resources. That's one of the fabulous thing about this board. And blogs are great.

But I think we should all keep in mind that behind every blog is a real person. A person who's courageous enough to share themselves and put themselves out there. It can be hard and scary.

Some people (like the amazing Karen of Naked Ovary) get hurt over and over again. By people they've never met and by people in their real lives who get angry at them. And then they (like Karen) go pass word protected, and all of us lose tremendously in the process.

The first infertility blog I read, like many folks a couple of years ago, was getupgrrl of chezmiscarriage. She wrote the most beautiful posts. But she had trolls and people stole from her so now none of her words, advice, inspiration, anything are out there for people just starting out.

Grrl lead me to Julie and Tertia and so many others. Grrl was incredibly supportive when I started my own blog. I thought no one would care. There weren't really any donor egg blogs back then. Wessel and Bee and I were all just getting started. Now there are at least a dozen.

When I went to South Africa over a year ago, Tertia contacted me. She wanted to offer her support and wanted to meet me (ME!little ol' me) but thought I wasn't interested. My husband and I met her for coffee and she was so warm and friendly and just awesome. Since then she's become a friend and I'm so honored to know her. I've been back to Cape Town and met Marko and her kids. I look forward to the day when she comes to the US for a book tour or just to hang out with all the friends she's made around the country.

In face, she's been exceedingly kind to all the folks from this board who have traveled to South Africa. She talks to folks, supports them, and cares a great deal.

She has been hurt a lot by commenters on her blog and by other folks in the blogosphere and internet who say mean things about her. I honestly don't know why anyone whould say such things, unless it's just jealousy.

She wrote that amazingly funny post called IVF Barbie that's been pass around again and again. She also wrote a post I love a lot called How to Be a Good Friend to an Infertile.

She doesn't want to go pass word protected. She does want to share her story and her fears because it resonates with so many people. She is a tremendous asset to Cape Fertility Clinic and Renew. She works hard to erase the stigma of infertility in her country, where things really are quite different from here. She's started an infertility support group just to help others.

And yes, she recently found out she was pregnant. It wasn't "ridculous" for her to think she was in menopause. She'd never EVER gotten pregnant on her own. In over seven years of trying it had never happened. So of course she thought it never would. Can you imagine? Finally one thing happened the way it should and it was a complete shock. She debated writing about it. She wasn't sure she was ready to share because she thought it might be hard to some of us still in the trenches. But above all she wanted to be honest and that's who she is.

Now admittedly I'm more than a little biased. I'm biased because I've seen her open herself up and get hurt. And I know how much it hurts her. She's my friend and it's grossly unfair. I've seen it happen to others. It's all to easy to sit here and comment on someone else's life.

But there are people behind these blogs. People with feelings. People who give a great deal of themselves. People who deserve more. So if you like to read blogs please keep that in mind. How sad it would be if everyone had to go password protected because a few people couldn't remember that it's not a soap opera, it's not some tv show, it's real life.

I'm sure Tertia could use a little extra love right now. I'm sure lots of bloggers can. So go delurk and tell your favorite blogger that you appreciate them and what they share. I know it would mean a lot to anyone.
do with a little love right now.

Her blog says she has lost the baby

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Tertia
Tertia

March 20th, 2007, 11:01 am #4

I've been member of this board for years. First I read to follow some of my close friend's journeys, then I've shared some of my own. I know this board has it's ups and downs but I've generally found it to be supportive.

There have been a few threads in the past few days asking about and discussing certain blogs. I think it's great that people share resources. That's one of the fabulous thing about this board. And blogs are great.

But I think we should all keep in mind that behind every blog is a real person. A person who's courageous enough to share themselves and put themselves out there. It can be hard and scary.

Some people (like the amazing Karen of Naked Ovary) get hurt over and over again. By people they've never met and by people in their real lives who get angry at them. And then they (like Karen) go pass word protected, and all of us lose tremendously in the process.

The first infertility blog I read, like many folks a couple of years ago, was getupgrrl of chezmiscarriage. She wrote the most beautiful posts. But she had trolls and people stole from her so now none of her words, advice, inspiration, anything are out there for people just starting out.

Grrl lead me to Julie and Tertia and so many others. Grrl was incredibly supportive when I started my own blog. I thought no one would care. There weren't really any donor egg blogs back then. Wessel and Bee and I were all just getting started. Now there are at least a dozen.

When I went to South Africa over a year ago, Tertia contacted me. She wanted to offer her support and wanted to meet me (ME!little ol' me) but thought I wasn't interested. My husband and I met her for coffee and she was so warm and friendly and just awesome. Since then she's become a friend and I'm so honored to know her. I've been back to Cape Town and met Marko and her kids. I look forward to the day when she comes to the US for a book tour or just to hang out with all the friends she's made around the country.

In face, she's been exceedingly kind to all the folks from this board who have traveled to South Africa. She talks to folks, supports them, and cares a great deal.

She has been hurt a lot by commenters on her blog and by other folks in the blogosphere and internet who say mean things about her. I honestly don't know why anyone whould say such things, unless it's just jealousy.

She wrote that amazingly funny post called IVF Barbie that's been pass around again and again. She also wrote a post I love a lot called How to Be a Good Friend to an Infertile.

She doesn't want to go pass word protected. She does want to share her story and her fears because it resonates with so many people. She is a tremendous asset to Cape Fertility Clinic and Renew. She works hard to erase the stigma of infertility in her country, where things really are quite different from here. She's started an infertility support group just to help others.

And yes, she recently found out she was pregnant. It wasn't "ridculous" for her to think she was in menopause. She'd never EVER gotten pregnant on her own. In over seven years of trying it had never happened. So of course she thought it never would. Can you imagine? Finally one thing happened the way it should and it was a complete shock. She debated writing about it. She wasn't sure she was ready to share because she thought it might be hard to some of us still in the trenches. But above all she wanted to be honest and that's who she is.

Now admittedly I'm more than a little biased. I'm biased because I've seen her open herself up and get hurt. And I know how much it hurts her. She's my friend and it's grossly unfair. I've seen it happen to others. It's all to easy to sit here and comment on someone else's life.

But there are people behind these blogs. People with feelings. People who give a great deal of themselves. People who deserve more. So if you like to read blogs please keep that in mind. How sad it would be if everyone had to go password protected because a few people couldn't remember that it's not a soap opera, it's not some tv show, it's real life.

I'm sure Tertia could use a little extra love right now. I'm sure lots of bloggers can. So go delurk and tell your favorite blogger that you appreciate them and what they share. I know it would mean a lot to anyone.
Hi Belen

I completely appreciate that you might find my blog boring. I suppose not every one has the same taste. Our differences make us who we are.

Just for clarification, I never said Adam has a developmental delay. I said he has been diagnosed with SID. I have no reason to make that up, however you are probably spot on when you said I am a bit of a paranoid parent. It’s hard not to be, although I really am trying not to be one of 'those' types of parents.

Regarding my nieces, the one stutters, there is nothing wrong with her development. She is a perfectly normal child in every other respect. My other niece is in the process of being assessed. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with her, let’s hope so.

If I thought it would help, I would happily post all three reports from the various specialists to confirm that I am not making up Adam, Sofia or Amber's diagnoses. I would have to be some kind of really sick person to make that kind of stuff up.

Then lastly, regarding my surprise pregnancy. It really was a surprise. In 7 years of unprotected sex and active TTC, I have never once had a spontaneous conception. My other four pregnancies were all through IVF (I did nine IVF’s in total). I honestly thought I was going through early menopause. Which must appear extremely stupid, I know. I didn’t have a ‘missed period’ because I don’t usually get a period at all. In 7 years of unprotected sex I ovulated only once on my own. Once. So you can see I had absolutely no reason to even suspect I could be pregnant.

Unfortunately that ‘surprise’ pregnancy ended up in yet another loss yesterday. I guess I was stupid to have that glimmer of hope that I might be ‘normal’.

Actually, none of this probably matters to you. It is your choice not to like me or my blog. I respect your choice. I just wanted to give you the facts.

Thank you for saying those sweet things about my kids, and thanks for caring enough about them to read my blog the times you did.

Wishing you much respect and good fortune

Tertia
(of the blog ‘So Close’ www.tertia.org)
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macR
macR

March 20th, 2007, 11:25 am #5

I've been member of this board for years. First I read to follow some of my close friend's journeys, then I've shared some of my own. I know this board has it's ups and downs but I've generally found it to be supportive.

There have been a few threads in the past few days asking about and discussing certain blogs. I think it's great that people share resources. That's one of the fabulous thing about this board. And blogs are great.

But I think we should all keep in mind that behind every blog is a real person. A person who's courageous enough to share themselves and put themselves out there. It can be hard and scary.

Some people (like the amazing Karen of Naked Ovary) get hurt over and over again. By people they've never met and by people in their real lives who get angry at them. And then they (like Karen) go pass word protected, and all of us lose tremendously in the process.

The first infertility blog I read, like many folks a couple of years ago, was getupgrrl of chezmiscarriage. She wrote the most beautiful posts. But she had trolls and people stole from her so now none of her words, advice, inspiration, anything are out there for people just starting out.

Grrl lead me to Julie and Tertia and so many others. Grrl was incredibly supportive when I started my own blog. I thought no one would care. There weren't really any donor egg blogs back then. Wessel and Bee and I were all just getting started. Now there are at least a dozen.

When I went to South Africa over a year ago, Tertia contacted me. She wanted to offer her support and wanted to meet me (ME!little ol' me) but thought I wasn't interested. My husband and I met her for coffee and she was so warm and friendly and just awesome. Since then she's become a friend and I'm so honored to know her. I've been back to Cape Town and met Marko and her kids. I look forward to the day when she comes to the US for a book tour or just to hang out with all the friends she's made around the country.

In face, she's been exceedingly kind to all the folks from this board who have traveled to South Africa. She talks to folks, supports them, and cares a great deal.

She has been hurt a lot by commenters on her blog and by other folks in the blogosphere and internet who say mean things about her. I honestly don't know why anyone whould say such things, unless it's just jealousy.

She wrote that amazingly funny post called IVF Barbie that's been pass around again and again. She also wrote a post I love a lot called How to Be a Good Friend to an Infertile.

She doesn't want to go pass word protected. She does want to share her story and her fears because it resonates with so many people. She is a tremendous asset to Cape Fertility Clinic and Renew. She works hard to erase the stigma of infertility in her country, where things really are quite different from here. She's started an infertility support group just to help others.

And yes, she recently found out she was pregnant. It wasn't "ridculous" for her to think she was in menopause. She'd never EVER gotten pregnant on her own. In over seven years of trying it had never happened. So of course she thought it never would. Can you imagine? Finally one thing happened the way it should and it was a complete shock. She debated writing about it. She wasn't sure she was ready to share because she thought it might be hard to some of us still in the trenches. But above all she wanted to be honest and that's who she is.

Now admittedly I'm more than a little biased. I'm biased because I've seen her open herself up and get hurt. And I know how much it hurts her. She's my friend and it's grossly unfair. I've seen it happen to others. It's all to easy to sit here and comment on someone else's life.

But there are people behind these blogs. People with feelings. People who give a great deal of themselves. People who deserve more. So if you like to read blogs please keep that in mind. How sad it would be if everyone had to go password protected because a few people couldn't remember that it's not a soap opera, it's not some tv show, it's real life.

I'm sure Tertia could use a little extra love right now. I'm sure lots of bloggers can. So go delurk and tell your favorite blogger that you appreciate them and what they share. I know it would mean a lot to anyone.
I'd add this to the other posts about blogging too on this page. It's just not really the right BB for this so whenever we post on these kind of topics people put OT in the subject line.
If there isn't an OT there, I will read them in the event it involves TTC and that I could support the woman with information, hugs, etc.
Thanks so much,
Robin
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Fay
Fay

March 20th, 2007, 1:35 pm #6

Hi Belen

I completely appreciate that you might find my blog boring. I suppose not every one has the same taste. Our differences make us who we are.

Just for clarification, I never said Adam has a developmental delay. I said he has been diagnosed with SID. I have no reason to make that up, however you are probably spot on when you said I am a bit of a paranoid parent. It’s hard not to be, although I really am trying not to be one of 'those' types of parents.

Regarding my nieces, the one stutters, there is nothing wrong with her development. She is a perfectly normal child in every other respect. My other niece is in the process of being assessed. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with her, let’s hope so.

If I thought it would help, I would happily post all three reports from the various specialists to confirm that I am not making up Adam, Sofia or Amber's diagnoses. I would have to be some kind of really sick person to make that kind of stuff up.

Then lastly, regarding my surprise pregnancy. It really was a surprise. In 7 years of unprotected sex and active TTC, I have never once had a spontaneous conception. My other four pregnancies were all through IVF (I did nine IVF’s in total). I honestly thought I was going through early menopause. Which must appear extremely stupid, I know. I didn’t have a ‘missed period’ because I don’t usually get a period at all. In 7 years of unprotected sex I ovulated only once on my own. Once. So you can see I had absolutely no reason to even suspect I could be pregnant.

Unfortunately that ‘surprise’ pregnancy ended up in yet another loss yesterday. I guess I was stupid to have that glimmer of hope that I might be ‘normal’.

Actually, none of this probably matters to you. It is your choice not to like me or my blog. I respect your choice. I just wanted to give you the facts.

Thank you for saying those sweet things about my kids, and thanks for caring enough about them to read my blog the times you did.

Wishing you much respect and good fortune

Tertia
(of the blog ‘So Close’ www.tertia.org)
I read your book when i was in South Africa !!! It was wonderful
Karin recommended it to me.
very moving.
I dont know how to post on your blog!!!
thanks for writing the book
I am so sorry for your loss!
Sincerely,
fay
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Huh?
Huh?

March 20th, 2007, 3:46 pm #7

I'd add this to the other posts about blogging too on this page. It's just not really the right BB for this so whenever we post on these kind of topics people put OT in the subject line.
If there isn't an OT there, I will read them in the event it involves TTC and that I could support the woman with information, hugs, etc.
Thanks so much,
Robin
n/t
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SherryDee
SherryDee

March 20th, 2007, 4:24 pm #8

I'd add this to the other posts about blogging too on this page. It's just not really the right BB for this so whenever we post on these kind of topics people put OT in the subject line.
If there isn't an OT there, I will read them in the event it involves TTC and that I could support the woman with information, hugs, etc.
Thanks so much,
Robin
it's about struggles with infertility. how could that not be on topic? And even so, didn't she put in her title blogs and blogging. It wasn't blogs and blogging about...ummmm...say football or something.

Sherry
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Anonymous
Anonymous

March 20th, 2007, 4:27 pm #9

I'd add this to the other posts about blogging too on this page. It's just not really the right BB for this so whenever we post on these kind of topics people put OT in the subject line.
If there isn't an OT there, I will read them in the event it involves TTC and that I could support the woman with information, hugs, etc.
Thanks so much,
Robin
.
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Carol
Carol

March 20th, 2007, 4:38 pm #10

Hi Belen

I completely appreciate that you might find my blog boring. I suppose not every one has the same taste. Our differences make us who we are.

Just for clarification, I never said Adam has a developmental delay. I said he has been diagnosed with SID. I have no reason to make that up, however you are probably spot on when you said I am a bit of a paranoid parent. It’s hard not to be, although I really am trying not to be one of 'those' types of parents.

Regarding my nieces, the one stutters, there is nothing wrong with her development. She is a perfectly normal child in every other respect. My other niece is in the process of being assessed. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with her, let’s hope so.

If I thought it would help, I would happily post all three reports from the various specialists to confirm that I am not making up Adam, Sofia or Amber's diagnoses. I would have to be some kind of really sick person to make that kind of stuff up.

Then lastly, regarding my surprise pregnancy. It really was a surprise. In 7 years of unprotected sex and active TTC, I have never once had a spontaneous conception. My other four pregnancies were all through IVF (I did nine IVF’s in total). I honestly thought I was going through early menopause. Which must appear extremely stupid, I know. I didn’t have a ‘missed period’ because I don’t usually get a period at all. In 7 years of unprotected sex I ovulated only once on my own. Once. So you can see I had absolutely no reason to even suspect I could be pregnant.

Unfortunately that ‘surprise’ pregnancy ended up in yet another loss yesterday. I guess I was stupid to have that glimmer of hope that I might be ‘normal’.

Actually, none of this probably matters to you. It is your choice not to like me or my blog. I respect your choice. I just wanted to give you the facts.

Thank you for saying those sweet things about my kids, and thanks for caring enough about them to read my blog the times you did.

Wishing you much respect and good fortune

Tertia
(of the blog ‘So Close’ www.tertia.org)
can you tell me the link for it?
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