There is no easy solution *sigh* (adoption mentioned)

There is no easy solution *sigh* (adoption mentioned)

Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 18th, 2010, 10:08 am #1

So I our social worker faxes me the new surrogacy laws. Firstly it is going to cost a fortune and secondly the surrogate has to become pregnant with either my egg or dh's sperm. Now my eggs have passed their sell by date and dh does not have any sperm. I also doubt that any gynae is going to do iui for us on someone else if we just explain the situation. So am sitting not knowing what to do. Our social worker says that can't lie and say the birth mom just fell pregnant and wanted to place the baby with us. Does anyone have any ideas?

Brandy
South Africa
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Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

December 18th, 2010, 1:50 pm #2

Or use donor eggs?

Phooey. I'm so sorry!!!

I understand why they have this law though. This way caused a lot of legal problems for...when the surrogate used her own eggs.
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LizLA
LizLA

December 18th, 2010, 2:00 pm #3

So I our social worker faxes me the new surrogacy laws. Firstly it is going to cost a fortune and secondly the surrogate has to become pregnant with either my egg or dh's sperm. Now my eggs have passed their sell by date and dh does not have any sperm. I also doubt that any gynae is going to do iui for us on someone else if we just explain the situation. So am sitting not knowing what to do. Our social worker says that can't lie and say the birth mom just fell pregnant and wanted to place the baby with us. Does anyone have any ideas?

Brandy
South Africa
and I would lie and cheat to get my son a full sibling:)
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Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 18th, 2010, 2:49 pm #4

lol dh says tell her " I totally agree!" (nt)
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Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 18th, 2010, 2:50 pm #5

Or use donor eggs?

Phooey. I'm so sorry!!!

I understand why they have this law though. This way caused a lot of legal problems for...when the surrogate used her own eggs.
was really hoping we wouldn't have to spend that much since we have spent so much in the past.
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Orchid
Orchid

December 18th, 2010, 3:02 pm #6

I can't afford any of these things.

It's hard to get around the law without running some risks for you and the surrogate but I'm not a lawyer. You don't want to be on the 6 O'clock news on the one hand. On the other, your case IS different.
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diaphanta
diaphanta

December 18th, 2010, 3:46 pm #7

So I our social worker faxes me the new surrogacy laws. Firstly it is going to cost a fortune and secondly the surrogate has to become pregnant with either my egg or dh's sperm. Now my eggs have passed their sell by date and dh does not have any sperm. I also doubt that any gynae is going to do iui for us on someone else if we just explain the situation. So am sitting not knowing what to do. Our social worker says that can't lie and say the birth mom just fell pregnant and wanted to place the baby with us. Does anyone have any ideas?

Brandy
South Africa
The woman is a phenomenom - she'll think of something. She runs her own egg donor agency in Cape Town and surrogacy scheme in India, using SA donors. She is full of integrity - and is a whirlwind of creativity.

Google 'Nurture' to get her e-mail address - or 'So Close' her blog.

Good luck!
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Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 18th, 2010, 4:54 pm #8

Thanks have just emailed her (nt)
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Anonymous
Anonymous

December 18th, 2010, 6:01 pm #9

it is a hotly contested thing to allow the surro to use her own eggs and donor sperm, but if you dig around enough you can find places where it IS legal --- the trouble is that the surro has to give birth in one of the "friendly" counties where the IPs can get a pre-birth order from a "friendly" judge. It is scary how unstable the laws are from place to place. I know you are not in the US but get a lawyer to look around to see if these laws are up to interpretation, or if she can have the baby in another country where this is legal? Uggh.
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Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 18th, 2010, 6:49 pm #10

I can't believe how difficult this is when both parties are happy with the plan. I understand laws are to protect ppl but in our case there is no one to protect. Birth mom can't afford another baby and has already placed 3 (including our son) up for adoption, so it is not as if she doesn't know what she is getting herself into.
Thanks for your input.
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