so frustrated - delay in DE cycle

so frustrated - delay in DE cycle

Antonialisa
Antonialisa

July 3rd, 2012, 11:04 pm #1

My DH and I have everything lined up for our DE cycle with RBA. As you may recall, we had to overcome some fears and anxieties but we finally did it!!! RBA has a ton of blood tests and even mammogram, etc.

One hitch: our psychologist has still not prepared the report 3 weeks after our consultation and now she is trying to extort more money from us! These extra costs were not mentioned earlier. The total cost she is quoting for consult and preparing a report is $750 - does that seem like a lot? My DH is furious and doesn't want to pay. I forwarded her email to my physician who referred us to her and he is very apologetic about it - he thought it would be more like $200 or so.

I asked RBA if we could proceed anyway, pending getting the psychological report to them very shortly (through another psychologist we already have an appointment) under the circumstances but I don't know if they will be flexible. We want to move quickly because my day 21 is fast approaching then we lose another month.

I'm really frustrated that our DE cycle could be held up by an ethically-challenged psychologist. Now I might have to wait until September. All summer, I will have weddings, events, family reunions, etc with lots of kids and babies present and I really, really wanted to move forward quickly. I will also turn 42 soon

I'm just sad and frustrated. After years of so many disappointments, I just realy wanted to move forward. Thanks for listening.
Quote
Share

BroodyHen
BroodyHen

July 3rd, 2012, 11:36 pm #2

hi antonialisa.
i'm visiting you over here, i hope you don't mind. so sorry to read your post - what a drag! that is outrageous. hopefully the clinic will be flexible. if not, i'd consider just paying the psychologist so you can move forward. waiting until september over this just seems like too much and you'll be sad/mad about it all summer long. if you can swing the cash, i'd pay and you can always seek some kind of recourse with this jerk after the fact. anyway, so sorry. it just is unfair to have random, unnecessary hurdles along this already rock road.
thinking of you, and rooting for you always!!
xox
Quote
Share

Joined: August 18th, 2010, 6:45 pm

July 3rd, 2012, 11:37 pm #3

My DH and I have everything lined up for our DE cycle with RBA. As you may recall, we had to overcome some fears and anxieties but we finally did it!!! RBA has a ton of blood tests and even mammogram, etc.

One hitch: our psychologist has still not prepared the report 3 weeks after our consultation and now she is trying to extort more money from us! These extra costs were not mentioned earlier. The total cost she is quoting for consult and preparing a report is $750 - does that seem like a lot? My DH is furious and doesn't want to pay. I forwarded her email to my physician who referred us to her and he is very apologetic about it - he thought it would be more like $200 or so.

I asked RBA if we could proceed anyway, pending getting the psychological report to them very shortly (through another psychologist we already have an appointment) under the circumstances but I don't know if they will be flexible. We want to move quickly because my day 21 is fast approaching then we lose another month.

I'm really frustrated that our DE cycle could be held up by an ethically-challenged psychologist. Now I might have to wait until September. All summer, I will have weddings, events, family reunions, etc with lots of kids and babies present and I really, really wanted to move forward quickly. I will also turn 42 soon

I'm just sad and frustrated. After years of so many disappointments, I just realy wanted to move forward. Thanks for listening.
$750 sounds ridiculous.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 21st, 2011, 7:41 pm

July 3rd, 2012, 11:38 pm #4

My DH and I have everything lined up for our DE cycle with RBA. As you may recall, we had to overcome some fears and anxieties but we finally did it!!! RBA has a ton of blood tests and even mammogram, etc.

One hitch: our psychologist has still not prepared the report 3 weeks after our consultation and now she is trying to extort more money from us! These extra costs were not mentioned earlier. The total cost she is quoting for consult and preparing a report is $750 - does that seem like a lot? My DH is furious and doesn't want to pay. I forwarded her email to my physician who referred us to her and he is very apologetic about it - he thought it would be more like $200 or so.

I asked RBA if we could proceed anyway, pending getting the psychological report to them very shortly (through another psychologist we already have an appointment) under the circumstances but I don't know if they will be flexible. We want to move quickly because my day 21 is fast approaching then we lose another month.

I'm really frustrated that our DE cycle could be held up by an ethically-challenged psychologist. Now I might have to wait until September. All summer, I will have weddings, events, family reunions, etc with lots of kids and babies present and I really, really wanted to move forward quickly. I will also turn 42 soon

I'm just sad and frustrated. After years of so many disappointments, I just realy wanted to move forward. Thanks for listening.
I think our consult + report was around $250 - it was with a therapist we were referred to by our clinic. I'm glad your physician who referred you is apologetic - should be! What did the therapist quote you for a consult & report before you met? Some therapists do charge quite a bit extra for reports, but that's usually for in-depth educational/psychological evaluations. Ask your physician if the therapist can just give you the green light to proceed without a fancy report.
Quote
Like
Share

Antonialisa
Antonialisa

July 4th, 2012, 2:03 am #5

My DH and I have everything lined up for our DE cycle with RBA. As you may recall, we had to overcome some fears and anxieties but we finally did it!!! RBA has a ton of blood tests and even mammogram, etc.

One hitch: our psychologist has still not prepared the report 3 weeks after our consultation and now she is trying to extort more money from us! These extra costs were not mentioned earlier. The total cost she is quoting for consult and preparing a report is $750 - does that seem like a lot? My DH is furious and doesn't want to pay. I forwarded her email to my physician who referred us to her and he is very apologetic about it - he thought it would be more like $200 or so.

I asked RBA if we could proceed anyway, pending getting the psychological report to them very shortly (through another psychologist we already have an appointment) under the circumstances but I don't know if they will be flexible. We want to move quickly because my day 21 is fast approaching then we lose another month.

I'm really frustrated that our DE cycle could be held up by an ethically-challenged psychologist. Now I might have to wait until September. All summer, I will have weddings, events, family reunions, etc with lots of kids and babies present and I really, really wanted to move forward quickly. I will also turn 42 soon

I'm just sad and frustrated. After years of so many disappointments, I just realy wanted to move forward. Thanks for listening.
Thanks so much for your kind messages. I'm already not so mad - just posting helps, along with your empathy!

Here'S the fuller story: the psychologist said it would cost $260 for 1 1/2 hour visit. Then at the end of the 1 1/2 hours, she said, "oh yeah, the report will cost another $250 or so." Then she emails back today and says that she wants another session plus it will cost $320 for the report. Ridiculous! Totally unethical!

The disappointing thing as well is that she offered absolutely no value, no insights, in that 1 1/2 hour session already. So it felt like a total waste of time, and this in a week where DH was super busy at work and had to go back and work until midnight before a big business trip.

HOwevr, we have lined up an amazing alternate psychologist who is an expert in not just infertility but also stepfamilies - very intersting! Just $100!

Additionally, there is another factor that has emerged on the timing. Tonight, DH told me that he is very, very worried about my going on lupron this cycle on day 21 because we did not use birth control. The physician said it is perfectly fine to expose a tiny embryo to lupron the first few days, but DH does not want to. I said it is very unlikely that this would be my lucky month after TTC for 3 years but I guess you never know!

It is frustrating to have to change plans but it was very tight as it was, and I think that if TTC has taught me anything, it is to roll with the punches and be flexible and give up trying to control things. So while earlier today I was so angry I was ready to start a riot, now I'm just accepting that this cycle will happen when it does.

Thanks again ladies! I am praying for all of you!
Quote
Share

Antonialisa
Antonialisa

July 4th, 2012, 2:10 am #6

hi antonialisa.
i'm visiting you over here, i hope you don't mind. so sorry to read your post - what a drag! that is outrageous. hopefully the clinic will be flexible. if not, i'd consider just paying the psychologist so you can move forward. waiting until september over this just seems like too much and you'll be sad/mad about it all summer long. if you can swing the cash, i'd pay and you can always seek some kind of recourse with this jerk after the fact. anyway, so sorry. it just is unfair to have random, unnecessary hurdles along this already rock road.
thinking of you, and rooting for you always!!
xox
I am keeping an eye on you as well on the other board! Delighted about your u/s and heartbeat. I am just super excited for you all round and praying for an uneventful pregnancy and birth. ANd, hey! thanks for perking up the over 40 board for us!

The good news on my side is that DH is 100% on board with DE and very supportive and (dare I say) almost excited. And barring a miracle BFP this time, we are set to go as soon as we can. Yay!
Quote
Share

DeeinNYC
DeeinNYC

July 4th, 2012, 3:19 am #7

Thanks so much for your kind messages. I'm already not so mad - just posting helps, along with your empathy!

Here'S the fuller story: the psychologist said it would cost $260 for 1 1/2 hour visit. Then at the end of the 1 1/2 hours, she said, "oh yeah, the report will cost another $250 or so." Then she emails back today and says that she wants another session plus it will cost $320 for the report. Ridiculous! Totally unethical!

The disappointing thing as well is that she offered absolutely no value, no insights, in that 1 1/2 hour session already. So it felt like a total waste of time, and this in a week where DH was super busy at work and had to go back and work until midnight before a big business trip.

HOwevr, we have lined up an amazing alternate psychologist who is an expert in not just infertility but also stepfamilies - very intersting! Just $100!

Additionally, there is another factor that has emerged on the timing. Tonight, DH told me that he is very, very worried about my going on lupron this cycle on day 21 because we did not use birth control. The physician said it is perfectly fine to expose a tiny embryo to lupron the first few days, but DH does not want to. I said it is very unlikely that this would be my lucky month after TTC for 3 years but I guess you never know!

It is frustrating to have to change plans but it was very tight as it was, and I think that if TTC has taught me anything, it is to roll with the punches and be flexible and give up trying to control things. So while earlier today I was so angry I was ready to start a riot, now I'm just accepting that this cycle will happen when it does.

Thanks again ladies! I am praying for all of you!
Antonialisa- I'm so sorry that this therapist is doing this. Sounds just ridiculous. I found a therapist that took my insurance and we only paid a co-pay. That price sounds insane. I understand what your DH is saying. I guess he has his reasons even though no harm would likely come to any baby born due to having used Lupron for a few days. If you must wait, then you must wait. As you said, we have to be a bit flexible in this game.

I had no idea that you were going to RBA too let alone cycling so soon!!! I'm excited for all of us. Thank you so much for the well wishes down below. Please let me know how things are going for you at RBA and if I can answer any questions.
Quote
Share

Hope2009
Hope2009

July 4th, 2012, 4:28 am #8

My DH and I have everything lined up for our DE cycle with RBA. As you may recall, we had to overcome some fears and anxieties but we finally did it!!! RBA has a ton of blood tests and even mammogram, etc.

One hitch: our psychologist has still not prepared the report 3 weeks after our consultation and now she is trying to extort more money from us! These extra costs were not mentioned earlier. The total cost she is quoting for consult and preparing a report is $750 - does that seem like a lot? My DH is furious and doesn't want to pay. I forwarded her email to my physician who referred us to her and he is very apologetic about it - he thought it would be more like $200 or so.

I asked RBA if we could proceed anyway, pending getting the psychological report to them very shortly (through another psychologist we already have an appointment) under the circumstances but I don't know if they will be flexible. We want to move quickly because my day 21 is fast approaching then we lose another month.

I'm really frustrated that our DE cycle could be held up by an ethically-challenged psychologist. Now I might have to wait until September. All summer, I will have weddings, events, family reunions, etc with lots of kids and babies present and I really, really wanted to move forward quickly. I will also turn 42 soon

I'm just sad and frustrated. After years of so many disappointments, I just realy wanted to move forward. Thanks for listening.
about this snag in the process. I would talk to my clinic if I were you...did they refer this person to you? I know we were referred to a specific psychologist that our clinic worked with. Since we live at a distance to our clinic and this professional we did a phone interview and the fee was $250.00 and we spent about 45 minutes on the phone. We found out that there were no right or wrong answers that were going to hold up our cycle from moving forward but that our clinic wanted us to discuss many things especially since we were using a known donor.

If this is a referred professional then I think the fee structure needs to be addressed. Just my opinion anyway. Try to think beyond this glitch in the process though and hold your vision. I remember all sorts of little things happening along our weeks leading up to the actual retrieval and transfer and at the time I wondered if these were signs to me...as though they were saying, 'how much do you really want this.'....but when I look back over the whole process things really went exactly as they were meant and each glitch had a purpose and a reason...it helped us to be soooo ready once we finally got pg.

all the best and I hope you can work through this.
Blessings from Hope
Quote
Share

Hope2009
Hope2009

July 4th, 2012, 4:31 am #9

Thanks so much for your kind messages. I'm already not so mad - just posting helps, along with your empathy!

Here'S the fuller story: the psychologist said it would cost $260 for 1 1/2 hour visit. Then at the end of the 1 1/2 hours, she said, "oh yeah, the report will cost another $250 or so." Then she emails back today and says that she wants another session plus it will cost $320 for the report. Ridiculous! Totally unethical!

The disappointing thing as well is that she offered absolutely no value, no insights, in that 1 1/2 hour session already. So it felt like a total waste of time, and this in a week where DH was super busy at work and had to go back and work until midnight before a big business trip.

HOwevr, we have lined up an amazing alternate psychologist who is an expert in not just infertility but also stepfamilies - very intersting! Just $100!

Additionally, there is another factor that has emerged on the timing. Tonight, DH told me that he is very, very worried about my going on lupron this cycle on day 21 because we did not use birth control. The physician said it is perfectly fine to expose a tiny embryo to lupron the first few days, but DH does not want to. I said it is very unlikely that this would be my lucky month after TTC for 3 years but I guess you never know!

It is frustrating to have to change plans but it was very tight as it was, and I think that if TTC has taught me anything, it is to roll with the punches and be flexible and give up trying to control things. So while earlier today I was so angry I was ready to start a riot, now I'm just accepting that this cycle will happen when it does.

Thanks again ladies! I am praying for all of you!
b/c once your baby comes learning to roll with the punches comes in handy. Keep rolling!

Blessings from Hope
Quote
Share

thesameboat
thesameboat

July 4th, 2012, 5:56 am #10

Thanks so much for your kind messages. I'm already not so mad - just posting helps, along with your empathy!

Here'S the fuller story: the psychologist said it would cost $260 for 1 1/2 hour visit. Then at the end of the 1 1/2 hours, she said, "oh yeah, the report will cost another $250 or so." Then she emails back today and says that she wants another session plus it will cost $320 for the report. Ridiculous! Totally unethical!

The disappointing thing as well is that she offered absolutely no value, no insights, in that 1 1/2 hour session already. So it felt like a total waste of time, and this in a week where DH was super busy at work and had to go back and work until midnight before a big business trip.

HOwevr, we have lined up an amazing alternate psychologist who is an expert in not just infertility but also stepfamilies - very intersting! Just $100!

Additionally, there is another factor that has emerged on the timing. Tonight, DH told me that he is very, very worried about my going on lupron this cycle on day 21 because we did not use birth control. The physician said it is perfectly fine to expose a tiny embryo to lupron the first few days, but DH does not want to. I said it is very unlikely that this would be my lucky month after TTC for 3 years but I guess you never know!

It is frustrating to have to change plans but it was very tight as it was, and I think that if TTC has taught me anything, it is to roll with the punches and be flexible and give up trying to control things. So while earlier today I was so angry I was ready to start a riot, now I'm just accepting that this cycle will happen when it does.

Thanks again ladies! I am praying for all of you!
just for wanting to build our families through DE. Honestly. I didn't have to do that in the country where I cycled.

I am so sorry you got set up with a crook and I hope your RE will spread the word not to use her any more.

Best of luck on your cycle.
Quote
Share