question about infants in daycare

question about infants in daycare

Joined: August 6th, 2011, 6:43 am

July 13th, 2012, 7:01 pm #1

Baby boy is in his first week of daycare. I am familiar with the facility as my DD used to attend a pre-school in the same building and play on the same playground alongside the daycare children. I have also known professional working parents in my area who have used the daycare and thought it was fine. Parents are able to visit the daycare and check in at any time, there are no monitors. I don't see unhappy children there. Actually the pre-school kids all seem just fine to me. All of the "classrooms" have windows to the hallways so you can see all of the kids when you walk to the other rooms. The lady in charge of the infant room is nice and has worked in the infant room eleven years, so they have lower staff turnover. I have not witnessed anything bad. I hang out with my baby when I get there in the morning and when I pick him up.

But, I still get this agonizing feeling worrying that he misses me while I'm gone. That maybe he is not happy. He is such a happy baby. We give him tons of attention at home. He loves to talk and coo and smile. He is super social. I realize they cannot give him even close to the attention that we give him at home. It is not possible, they have other babies to care for, usually about five in the room but it could be up to eight babies. Whenever I go there most of the babies are usually sleeping in cribs or baby seats, in swings, jumpers or eating or crawling around on the toy rug area.

So, this is his first week and I think it has gone well. But how will I know if he really is doing well there? I miss staying at home with him where I know I am giving him all the attention he needs. But I have a big IVF loan to pay off so I need to work. And I have a nice job where I have worked at for years that I don't want to give up. For now I am just keeping an eye on him and everything I see at the daycare realizing it is only the first week and there is an adjustment period.

It is just so hard knowing that as a baby I know of course he would rather be at home with me. How do I really know if he is ok there? He is there six hours a day.

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: September 30th, 2007, 7:22 pm

July 13th, 2012, 11:45 pm #2

I'll be looking for work again I'm the fall which means I'll have had 7 months with my little puff. I've literally been with her 24/7 since I'm nursing exclusively and too lazy to pump (LOL) and I sleep with her. She's like your baby: full of laughs, totally easy going. Just like with the ball, I know I will feel like I'm missing a limb when I leave her. It'll be 3 days a week, very long days

You can take comfort in everything you said. The place sounds great. My only consolation is that I know that the puff absolutely loves a change of scenery. When we're strolling around town, she loves to look at people and really seems to enjoy her surroundings. So I'm hoping that each day that I leave her at daycare, it'll be a nice change of pace for her. Maybe you could try to look at it that way?

I'm sorry it's hard. I know how much your heart aches.



Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 2nd, 2005, 3:49 pm

July 13th, 2012, 11:55 pm #3

Baby boy is in his first week of daycare. I am familiar with the facility as my DD used to attend a pre-school in the same building and play on the same playground alongside the daycare children. I have also known professional working parents in my area who have used the daycare and thought it was fine. Parents are able to visit the daycare and check in at any time, there are no monitors. I don't see unhappy children there. Actually the pre-school kids all seem just fine to me. All of the "classrooms" have windows to the hallways so you can see all of the kids when you walk to the other rooms. The lady in charge of the infant room is nice and has worked in the infant room eleven years, so they have lower staff turnover. I have not witnessed anything bad. I hang out with my baby when I get there in the morning and when I pick him up.

But, I still get this agonizing feeling worrying that he misses me while I'm gone. That maybe he is not happy. He is such a happy baby. We give him tons of attention at home. He loves to talk and coo and smile. He is super social. I realize they cannot give him even close to the attention that we give him at home. It is not possible, they have other babies to care for, usually about five in the room but it could be up to eight babies. Whenever I go there most of the babies are usually sleeping in cribs or baby seats, in swings, jumpers or eating or crawling around on the toy rug area.

So, this is his first week and I think it has gone well. But how will I know if he really is doing well there? I miss staying at home with him where I know I am giving him all the attention he needs. But I have a big IVF loan to pay off so I need to work. And I have a nice job where I have worked at for years that I don't want to give up. For now I am just keeping an eye on him and everything I see at the daycare realizing it is only the first week and there is an adjustment period.

It is just so hard knowing that as a baby I know of course he would rather be at home with me. How do I really know if he is ok there? He is there six hours a day.

I truly fell into a depression when I had to go back to work and leave DD at daycare. I think you know, to some extent, because you have good instincts as a mom. There are places I walked into that just felt wrong, even though I couldn't put my finger on it. The place we ended up with was like sending her to the grandparents, only better. She really thrived there and didn't really have much in the way of separation anxiety (she was 7 months when she started). What means do they have of communicating to you about how his day went? Of course, if he suddenly becomes withdrawn, fearful, doesn't want to eat, etc., your red flags should go up. We can never know, 100%, what is happening when we're gone, but in my own experience I know my kids are in better hands at preschool and the nanny than with their dad (who forgets to offer food, change them, etc). I also think that being somewhere where there is more than one caregiver ensures some amount of honesty as compared to just having a 1:1 nanny where no one is ever watching her.

Say, when are you coming down? We want to meet you guys!
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

July 14th, 2012, 2:13 am #4

Baby boy is in his first week of daycare. I am familiar with the facility as my DD used to attend a pre-school in the same building and play on the same playground alongside the daycare children. I have also known professional working parents in my area who have used the daycare and thought it was fine. Parents are able to visit the daycare and check in at any time, there are no monitors. I don't see unhappy children there. Actually the pre-school kids all seem just fine to me. All of the "classrooms" have windows to the hallways so you can see all of the kids when you walk to the other rooms. The lady in charge of the infant room is nice and has worked in the infant room eleven years, so they have lower staff turnover. I have not witnessed anything bad. I hang out with my baby when I get there in the morning and when I pick him up.

But, I still get this agonizing feeling worrying that he misses me while I'm gone. That maybe he is not happy. He is such a happy baby. We give him tons of attention at home. He loves to talk and coo and smile. He is super social. I realize they cannot give him even close to the attention that we give him at home. It is not possible, they have other babies to care for, usually about five in the room but it could be up to eight babies. Whenever I go there most of the babies are usually sleeping in cribs or baby seats, in swings, jumpers or eating or crawling around on the toy rug area.

So, this is his first week and I think it has gone well. But how will I know if he really is doing well there? I miss staying at home with him where I know I am giving him all the attention he needs. But I have a big IVF loan to pay off so I need to work. And I have a nice job where I have worked at for years that I don't want to give up. For now I am just keeping an eye on him and everything I see at the daycare realizing it is only the first week and there is an adjustment period.

It is just so hard knowing that as a baby I know of course he would rather be at home with me. How do I really know if he is ok there? He is there six hours a day.

My guys didn't go to day care till they were, hmmmm, about 5-6 mos old and their nanny had surgery. Now, leaving them with the nanny was hard enough, but she had started as my night time support person, and she was almost like a second mother to them. It made me sad to leave them, but I never worried about them.

So, the first day I had to leave them at this neighbor's home day care, I came back to her house terrified at what I'd find. But what I found was Bob stuffed into a Bumbo seat cheerfully playing with a baby play set and Freddy propped up in one of those galvanized tubs like they use for beverages entertaining himself with the plastic lid off a coffee can. They loved being around the other kids; they loved the new toys. I don't think they ever were upset when I arrived at her home.

Now, when they went to day care as a regular thing at 2 years, separation anxiety was in full force, and they've just started to adjust. But they really need all that stimulation and structure; Bob's language is exploding. They're learning more how to interact with other kids. So, don't worry too much about your bambino. My experience was that as much as my babies loved me, they wanted to explore and play and learn very much, too.

Maggie (in VA)

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: November 10th, 2004, 4:12 am

July 14th, 2012, 4:19 am #5

Baby boy is in his first week of daycare. I am familiar with the facility as my DD used to attend a pre-school in the same building and play on the same playground alongside the daycare children. I have also known professional working parents in my area who have used the daycare and thought it was fine. Parents are able to visit the daycare and check in at any time, there are no monitors. I don't see unhappy children there. Actually the pre-school kids all seem just fine to me. All of the "classrooms" have windows to the hallways so you can see all of the kids when you walk to the other rooms. The lady in charge of the infant room is nice and has worked in the infant room eleven years, so they have lower staff turnover. I have not witnessed anything bad. I hang out with my baby when I get there in the morning and when I pick him up.

But, I still get this agonizing feeling worrying that he misses me while I'm gone. That maybe he is not happy. He is such a happy baby. We give him tons of attention at home. He loves to talk and coo and smile. He is super social. I realize they cannot give him even close to the attention that we give him at home. It is not possible, they have other babies to care for, usually about five in the room but it could be up to eight babies. Whenever I go there most of the babies are usually sleeping in cribs or baby seats, in swings, jumpers or eating or crawling around on the toy rug area.

So, this is his first week and I think it has gone well. But how will I know if he really is doing well there? I miss staying at home with him where I know I am giving him all the attention he needs. But I have a big IVF loan to pay off so I need to work. And I have a nice job where I have worked at for years that I don't want to give up. For now I am just keeping an eye on him and everything I see at the daycare realizing it is only the first week and there is an adjustment period.

It is just so hard knowing that as a baby I know of course he would rather be at home with me. How do I really know if he is ok there? He is there six hours a day.

I wish I could give you a huge hug. I was just about to respond to your post below but then saw this one. You truly are having the mommy guilt going on!

I have not yet taken the daycare step but it is coming and, honestly, the closer I get to it the more I wish I had started it sooner on some level when he was truly little. I'm sure it's horrible now -- leaving him to go back to work is tough enough without having to leave him somewhere other than home. I also did the breast pumping at work and it just has so much emotion tied to it -- am I doing the right thing, yadda yadda.

You are a wonderful mommy and I think down deep you know it. Your LO is adjusting but, truly, I think it will be easier at this age than a later age...I've had SO many parents who have done it both ways tell me that. It sounds like you have really checked into this place and it has a good reputation...I think your little man is going to adjust and, in the end is going to thrive being the little social butterfly he sounds like!

There will be many smiles to come -- this part is SO hard!!!

Hugs,

sas
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: September 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm

July 14th, 2012, 5:43 am #6

Baby boy is in his first week of daycare. I am familiar with the facility as my DD used to attend a pre-school in the same building and play on the same playground alongside the daycare children. I have also known professional working parents in my area who have used the daycare and thought it was fine. Parents are able to visit the daycare and check in at any time, there are no monitors. I don't see unhappy children there. Actually the pre-school kids all seem just fine to me. All of the "classrooms" have windows to the hallways so you can see all of the kids when you walk to the other rooms. The lady in charge of the infant room is nice and has worked in the infant room eleven years, so they have lower staff turnover. I have not witnessed anything bad. I hang out with my baby when I get there in the morning and when I pick him up.

But, I still get this agonizing feeling worrying that he misses me while I'm gone. That maybe he is not happy. He is such a happy baby. We give him tons of attention at home. He loves to talk and coo and smile. He is super social. I realize they cannot give him even close to the attention that we give him at home. It is not possible, they have other babies to care for, usually about five in the room but it could be up to eight babies. Whenever I go there most of the babies are usually sleeping in cribs or baby seats, in swings, jumpers or eating or crawling around on the toy rug area.

So, this is his first week and I think it has gone well. But how will I know if he really is doing well there? I miss staying at home with him where I know I am giving him all the attention he needs. But I have a big IVF loan to pay off so I need to work. And I have a nice job where I have worked at for years that I don't want to give up. For now I am just keeping an eye on him and everything I see at the daycare realizing it is only the first week and there is an adjustment period.

It is just so hard knowing that as a baby I know of course he would rather be at home with me. How do I really know if he is ok there? He is there six hours a day.

I'm actually having qualms about going back just 2 hours every 2 weeks (!) after my LO comes, because I know how attached DD was from the start. But I think the fact that he's starting so young and is only there for a mostly half-day is strongly positive. He'll most likely be used to being there and will see it as a normal fact of life very shortly. I think the fact that he's there for just a few hours several times a week will help. I had DD start much older and only one or two days a week. It took over a year before she stopped crying when I left her. Good luck.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: May 10th, 2011, 11:57 pm

July 14th, 2012, 2:38 pm #7

Baby boy is in his first week of daycare. I am familiar with the facility as my DD used to attend a pre-school in the same building and play on the same playground alongside the daycare children. I have also known professional working parents in my area who have used the daycare and thought it was fine. Parents are able to visit the daycare and check in at any time, there are no monitors. I don't see unhappy children there. Actually the pre-school kids all seem just fine to me. All of the "classrooms" have windows to the hallways so you can see all of the kids when you walk to the other rooms. The lady in charge of the infant room is nice and has worked in the infant room eleven years, so they have lower staff turnover. I have not witnessed anything bad. I hang out with my baby when I get there in the morning and when I pick him up.

But, I still get this agonizing feeling worrying that he misses me while I'm gone. That maybe he is not happy. He is such a happy baby. We give him tons of attention at home. He loves to talk and coo and smile. He is super social. I realize they cannot give him even close to the attention that we give him at home. It is not possible, they have other babies to care for, usually about five in the room but it could be up to eight babies. Whenever I go there most of the babies are usually sleeping in cribs or baby seats, in swings, jumpers or eating or crawling around on the toy rug area.

So, this is his first week and I think it has gone well. But how will I know if he really is doing well there? I miss staying at home with him where I know I am giving him all the attention he needs. But I have a big IVF loan to pay off so I need to work. And I have a nice job where I have worked at for years that I don't want to give up. For now I am just keeping an eye on him and everything I see at the daycare realizing it is only the first week and there is an adjustment period.

It is just so hard knowing that as a baby I know of course he would rather be at home with me. How do I really know if he is ok there? He is there six hours a day.

I have no advice, but I can understand how you feel. I will be going back to work next month after a nice long time at home with DS (he will be 9 months by then). I'm fortunate that my DH will be at home with him, so there's not the daycare issue, but I still dread the separation.

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: August 6th, 2011, 6:43 am

July 14th, 2012, 7:06 pm #8

Baby boy is in his first week of daycare. I am familiar with the facility as my DD used to attend a pre-school in the same building and play on the same playground alongside the daycare children. I have also known professional working parents in my area who have used the daycare and thought it was fine. Parents are able to visit the daycare and check in at any time, there are no monitors. I don't see unhappy children there. Actually the pre-school kids all seem just fine to me. All of the "classrooms" have windows to the hallways so you can see all of the kids when you walk to the other rooms. The lady in charge of the infant room is nice and has worked in the infant room eleven years, so they have lower staff turnover. I have not witnessed anything bad. I hang out with my baby when I get there in the morning and when I pick him up.

But, I still get this agonizing feeling worrying that he misses me while I'm gone. That maybe he is not happy. He is such a happy baby. We give him tons of attention at home. He loves to talk and coo and smile. He is super social. I realize they cannot give him even close to the attention that we give him at home. It is not possible, they have other babies to care for, usually about five in the room but it could be up to eight babies. Whenever I go there most of the babies are usually sleeping in cribs or baby seats, in swings, jumpers or eating or crawling around on the toy rug area.

So, this is his first week and I think it has gone well. But how will I know if he really is doing well there? I miss staying at home with him where I know I am giving him all the attention he needs. But I have a big IVF loan to pay off so I need to work. And I have a nice job where I have worked at for years that I don't want to give up. For now I am just keeping an eye on him and everything I see at the daycare realizing it is only the first week and there is an adjustment period.

It is just so hard knowing that as a baby I know of course he would rather be at home with me. How do I really know if he is ok there? He is there six hours a day.

Well I'm feeling good about the daycare this past week. He was very happy to see me yesterday when I picked him up and the caregivers told me he did not cry all day and readily took 7 oz. of milk and slept well. I think it is an adjustment for everyone, my baby, me and the caregivers. I can imagine it is hard for them also to be receiving new babies and to adjust to their temperment, keep a happy baby room and know they will graduate to the one year old room in less than a year. I'm sure they also deal with some difficult parents which would be stressful, more stressful than dealing with babies. I think it would be hard to be a teacher as well as I'm sure they must get somewhat attached to some of the children only to have them move on at the end of the school year. Logically I know it makes sense for me to keep my job and put him in the daycare where I believe he is being treated well. But it is still hard and makes me feel guilty and sad that I can't stay home with him. I will take one week at a time and keep a close eye on things and watch him and the other children and the caregivers. I'll have to go with my gut feeling that everything is ok there.

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: August 6th, 2011, 6:43 am

July 14th, 2012, 7:32 pm #9

I truly fell into a depression when I had to go back to work and leave DD at daycare. I think you know, to some extent, because you have good instincts as a mom. There are places I walked into that just felt wrong, even though I couldn't put my finger on it. The place we ended up with was like sending her to the grandparents, only better. She really thrived there and didn't really have much in the way of separation anxiety (she was 7 months when she started). What means do they have of communicating to you about how his day went? Of course, if he suddenly becomes withdrawn, fearful, doesn't want to eat, etc., your red flags should go up. We can never know, 100%, what is happening when we're gone, but in my own experience I know my kids are in better hands at preschool and the nanny than with their dad (who forgets to offer food, change them, etc). I also think that being somewhere where there is more than one caregiver ensures some amount of honesty as compared to just having a 1:1 nanny where no one is ever watching her.

Say, when are you coming down? We want to meet you guys!
Hi Renata, we will be in your area Aug. 23rd and 24th. Send me an email and we can figure out the details. I think you can click on my link on here and it will go through. Let me know and I will check that email for it. I'm excited to meet you and your little ones!



Quote
Like
Share