POAS negative

POAS negative

Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

March 27th, 2011, 4:59 pm #1

I've never understood the thing about resisting POAS. Today is the day I should have my beta but I didn't have it because the dr. doesn't do bloodwork on Sun.

So I POAS and it was negative. I really think this is the right result. I don't need a beta. I just think I didn't get lucky this time.

I LIKE peeing OAS. I like the privacy! I don't want to just get the news cold over the phone. I almost wish they would just let you POAS a bunch of times and not make you take the beta.

I hate to say it--because this is another part of 'assisted reproduction culture' where it seems like you are just always supposed to assume every cycle will work--where I'm just not shocked. The quality and # of embryo was not so good. It was a 7 celled irregular embryo with some fragmentation--just one. It might have worked out...but it wasn't what you'd call the greatest odds or anything.

I did have moments of optimism and really, deep down I had a feeling like "I don't know what's going to happen really. I really don't know." I felt optimistic sometimes and other times I thought 'well, I'd be pretty lucky if this works...it's kind of a long shot...' But mostly I really didn't know what would happen.

I know I was a bit nervous about little things I'd done--but honestly, I am totally sure that nothing I did hurt this embryo. I had no caffeine, I did a 3 day bed rest, I did take it easy, pretty much after that. There were little dilemmas like when I forgot and lifted a bag of groceries, or when family members would call me with their bad news or when I forgot and climbed some stairs... but I really doubt lifting a bag of groceries or climbing up a couple flights of stairs dislodged the embryo!

(I suspect a lot of the restrictions aren't necessary--but obviously, we have to go along with them. And I do!)

There were some things that happened this cycle that I haven't wanted to talk about that were very upsetting--not things that would interfere with implantation--other things about the way I was treated during this process.

So it's going to take me a little while to get over this, I suspect. Besides being heartbreaking to get a BFN, it was a bad experience in a bunch of ways.

Live and learn. I just wish living and learning weren't so painful.

I'm keeping the faith anyway. I really think something good will happen. I don't know why I had to go through all this misery--and bankrupt myself in the process. But I do think I'm going to succeed. Somehow. I just don't know when or how.
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Joined: December 4th, 2007, 6:59 pm

March 27th, 2011, 6:17 pm #2

I'm sorry about your BFN. I'm just dashing out the door so not a lot time to write, but I've seen ladies on this board POAS and get a BFN.....only to get their betas and have a BFP. Sometimes it just doesn't show up in urine.

Please please please stay on your meds and get your beta. I know it's tough to hear those words over the phone if it does turn out to be a BFN, but rather be safe then sorry.

Huge hugs!!!

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Macrita
Macrita

March 27th, 2011, 7:23 pm #3

Sending you good karma.
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Bharani
Bharani

March 27th, 2011, 8:55 pm #4

I've never understood the thing about resisting POAS. Today is the day I should have my beta but I didn't have it because the dr. doesn't do bloodwork on Sun.

So I POAS and it was negative. I really think this is the right result. I don't need a beta. I just think I didn't get lucky this time.

I LIKE peeing OAS. I like the privacy! I don't want to just get the news cold over the phone. I almost wish they would just let you POAS a bunch of times and not make you take the beta.

I hate to say it--because this is another part of 'assisted reproduction culture' where it seems like you are just always supposed to assume every cycle will work--where I'm just not shocked. The quality and # of embryo was not so good. It was a 7 celled irregular embryo with some fragmentation--just one. It might have worked out...but it wasn't what you'd call the greatest odds or anything.

I did have moments of optimism and really, deep down I had a feeling like "I don't know what's going to happen really. I really don't know." I felt optimistic sometimes and other times I thought 'well, I'd be pretty lucky if this works...it's kind of a long shot...' But mostly I really didn't know what would happen.

I know I was a bit nervous about little things I'd done--but honestly, I am totally sure that nothing I did hurt this embryo. I had no caffeine, I did a 3 day bed rest, I did take it easy, pretty much after that. There were little dilemmas like when I forgot and lifted a bag of groceries, or when family members would call me with their bad news or when I forgot and climbed some stairs... but I really doubt lifting a bag of groceries or climbing up a couple flights of stairs dislodged the embryo!

(I suspect a lot of the restrictions aren't necessary--but obviously, we have to go along with them. And I do!)

There were some things that happened this cycle that I haven't wanted to talk about that were very upsetting--not things that would interfere with implantation--other things about the way I was treated during this process.

So it's going to take me a little while to get over this, I suspect. Besides being heartbreaking to get a BFN, it was a bad experience in a bunch of ways.

Live and learn. I just wish living and learning weren't so painful.

I'm keeping the faith anyway. I really think something good will happen. I don't know why I had to go through all this misery--and bankrupt myself in the process. But I do think I'm going to succeed. Somehow. I just don't know when or how.
This road is extemely nerve wrecking. It cost so much, do you think they will give a discount for your next cycle if you want to work with them? From your post, it sounds that you have good faith, that is good, Orchid. Stay positive. Know that I am thinking of you. And please don't blame yourself. You tried your best, and that is what counts.
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Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

March 27th, 2011, 9:25 pm #5

I'm sorry about your BFN. I'm just dashing out the door so not a lot time to write, but I've seen ladies on this board POAS and get a BFN.....only to get their betas and have a BFP. Sometimes it just doesn't show up in urine.

Please please please stay on your meds and get your beta. I know it's tough to hear those words over the phone if it does turn out to be a BFN, but rather be safe then sorry.

Huge hugs!!!
Hope springs eternal!!!

I would NEVER go off my meds or do anything that would jeopardize even that .000001% chance of a pregnancy.

And I will of course get my beta!!!

I just wish I didn't HAVE to.

Thanks for your reply.
Last edited by arive on March 27th, 2011, 9:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

March 27th, 2011, 9:29 pm #6

This road is extemely nerve wrecking. It cost so much, do you think they will give a discount for your next cycle if you want to work with them? From your post, it sounds that you have good faith, that is good, Orchid. Stay positive. Know that I am thinking of you. And please don't blame yourself. You tried your best, and that is what counts.
hugs
Thanks so much for your reply.

I don't know if I want to work with them...It's just so far away. Maybe it's better to find someplace closer this time. It was tough doing the whole thing from a distance.

I don't actually know what I'm going to do. I'll probably come back and ask for advice.

To be honest, I don't blame myself for the BFN. I do look back and wish I don't other things differently. But I know that there was nothing I did.

I almost wish I could post a pic of the embryo. The cells were irregular. A lot of times you hear that funky embryos settle down and get their act together. But I really think it was embryo quality. That really is the most likely explanation. I think when you have a lot of evidence about something, you have to go with that even though we tend to go beyond the evidence a lot in infertility.
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Joined: September 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm

March 27th, 2011, 9:35 pm #7

I've never understood the thing about resisting POAS. Today is the day I should have my beta but I didn't have it because the dr. doesn't do bloodwork on Sun.

So I POAS and it was negative. I really think this is the right result. I don't need a beta. I just think I didn't get lucky this time.

I LIKE peeing OAS. I like the privacy! I don't want to just get the news cold over the phone. I almost wish they would just let you POAS a bunch of times and not make you take the beta.

I hate to say it--because this is another part of 'assisted reproduction culture' where it seems like you are just always supposed to assume every cycle will work--where I'm just not shocked. The quality and # of embryo was not so good. It was a 7 celled irregular embryo with some fragmentation--just one. It might have worked out...but it wasn't what you'd call the greatest odds or anything.

I did have moments of optimism and really, deep down I had a feeling like "I don't know what's going to happen really. I really don't know." I felt optimistic sometimes and other times I thought 'well, I'd be pretty lucky if this works...it's kind of a long shot...' But mostly I really didn't know what would happen.

I know I was a bit nervous about little things I'd done--but honestly, I am totally sure that nothing I did hurt this embryo. I had no caffeine, I did a 3 day bed rest, I did take it easy, pretty much after that. There were little dilemmas like when I forgot and lifted a bag of groceries, or when family members would call me with their bad news or when I forgot and climbed some stairs... but I really doubt lifting a bag of groceries or climbing up a couple flights of stairs dislodged the embryo!

(I suspect a lot of the restrictions aren't necessary--but obviously, we have to go along with them. And I do!)

There were some things that happened this cycle that I haven't wanted to talk about that were very upsetting--not things that would interfere with implantation--other things about the way I was treated during this process.

So it's going to take me a little while to get over this, I suspect. Besides being heartbreaking to get a BFN, it was a bad experience in a bunch of ways.

Live and learn. I just wish living and learning weren't so painful.

I'm keeping the faith anyway. I really think something good will happen. I don't know why I had to go through all this misery--and bankrupt myself in the process. But I do think I'm going to succeed. Somehow. I just don't know when or how.
I'm so sorry. I know how much it hurts. I am glad you're going to get your beta. It's important to be sure. Wishing you luck and, if you need it, comfort.
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Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

March 27th, 2011, 9:38 pm #8

Sending you good karma.
thanks macrita n/t
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Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

March 27th, 2011, 9:40 pm #9

I'm so sorry. I know how much it hurts. I am glad you're going to get your beta. It's important to be sure. Wishing you luck and, if you need it, comfort.
I had not been so crazy excited and thrilled this time like I was last time.

Last time also I was thinking FOR SURE I WAS going to be pregnant.

I was much more shocked.

But I am taking it hard. It really breaks my heart even if there is not such an issue with the embryos. What KILLED me last time was I felt like I let those beautiful embryos down. This time, it was not such a beautiful embryo. But I am still so sad. Less guilty though.
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New2011
New2011

March 27th, 2011, 11:52 pm #10

I've never understood the thing about resisting POAS. Today is the day I should have my beta but I didn't have it because the dr. doesn't do bloodwork on Sun.

So I POAS and it was negative. I really think this is the right result. I don't need a beta. I just think I didn't get lucky this time.

I LIKE peeing OAS. I like the privacy! I don't want to just get the news cold over the phone. I almost wish they would just let you POAS a bunch of times and not make you take the beta.

I hate to say it--because this is another part of 'assisted reproduction culture' where it seems like you are just always supposed to assume every cycle will work--where I'm just not shocked. The quality and # of embryo was not so good. It was a 7 celled irregular embryo with some fragmentation--just one. It might have worked out...but it wasn't what you'd call the greatest odds or anything.

I did have moments of optimism and really, deep down I had a feeling like "I don't know what's going to happen really. I really don't know." I felt optimistic sometimes and other times I thought 'well, I'd be pretty lucky if this works...it's kind of a long shot...' But mostly I really didn't know what would happen.

I know I was a bit nervous about little things I'd done--but honestly, I am totally sure that nothing I did hurt this embryo. I had no caffeine, I did a 3 day bed rest, I did take it easy, pretty much after that. There were little dilemmas like when I forgot and lifted a bag of groceries, or when family members would call me with their bad news or when I forgot and climbed some stairs... but I really doubt lifting a bag of groceries or climbing up a couple flights of stairs dislodged the embryo!

(I suspect a lot of the restrictions aren't necessary--but obviously, we have to go along with them. And I do!)

There were some things that happened this cycle that I haven't wanted to talk about that were very upsetting--not things that would interfere with implantation--other things about the way I was treated during this process.

So it's going to take me a little while to get over this, I suspect. Besides being heartbreaking to get a BFN, it was a bad experience in a bunch of ways.

Live and learn. I just wish living and learning weren't so painful.

I'm keeping the faith anyway. I really think something good will happen. I don't know why I had to go through all this misery--and bankrupt myself in the process. But I do think I'm going to succeed. Somehow. I just don't know when or how.
So sorry Orchid. My heart goes out to you. I am praying that against all odds your beta proves to show otherwise.
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