OT: Where would you choose to live?

OT: Where would you choose to live?

Joined: July 3rd, 2010, 9:13 pm

June 27th, 2012, 1:39 pm #1

Right now we live in nice area outside of a suburb. We have about .25 acres but it is far from "rural" and it is a regular neighborhood. It takes us 15 minutes to get to "town" and 30 minutes to get to the city. It's not bad now that DS is young. We usually go out once a day, but I don't love making two trips out. We have a wonderful view and wake to up deer and bunnies in our yard.

But, we need to move closer to DH's work for financial reasons, and a shorter commute would allow him to spend more time with DS and I. We have the opportunity to live in either a city environment, with lots and lots of amenities nearby and DH only 15 minutes from work. But, it is a tiny lot a few miles from busy highways and a small airport. More noise and pollution, but shorter drive to everything. There is a park very close, library, rec center, schools within walking distance.

Or, we could go further out and get a house with land--2 acres or so. I've always wanted animals and i could, eventually, get a few. We love the views, quietness of a more rural setting, but I don't like to drive. DS LOVES people and my biggest concern is that he wouldn't be around people enough for his taste, as he gets older. And I like to keep him involved in things. I may home school,in which case I'd also want him near "things" so he can be around other people and kids.

What do you think? City or countryish? What would you do?

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

June 27th, 2012, 3:13 pm #2

In my current situation (and, I think, yours), I would prefer to be closer to more amenities like a park, rec center, and schools. I also prefer living near public transportation. It would totally suck to have to take public transportation to my job every day, but it's a major relief to know I can do it if I have to. And if there's any chance my kids can take the bus (we don't expect to be in the DC area when they're older) to any of their activities when they're old enough, I am not playing chauffeur when they can.

I truly hear you. I would like more space for a vegetable garden; I haven't had time to try eke out a few tomatoes on the one patch of fungus-ridden ground in our yard that gets barely enough sun to support them since I was pg. I wish my boys were going to be somewhere where they might find frog eggs in a creek or crawfish in a pond or see a toad hop up the sidewalk. The creeks around here are mostly lined with concrete to prevent flooding and I guess all the lawn chemicals people here use have destroyed the amphibian life. I would like my kids to be able to ride their bikes around town safely, which I'm not sure is really possible here.

But being stuck out by yourself with your kid in the country -- watched my older sister do this -- is pretty isolating, even if the country is nice. And having the shorter commute for DH would be worth a lot; my supposedly "reverse" commute has been mysteriously stretching out to an hour, and it's a huge stressor.

Take care!

Maggie (in VA)
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: September 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm

June 27th, 2012, 5:05 pm #3

Right now we live in nice area outside of a suburb. We have about .25 acres but it is far from "rural" and it is a regular neighborhood. It takes us 15 minutes to get to "town" and 30 minutes to get to the city. It's not bad now that DS is young. We usually go out once a day, but I don't love making two trips out. We have a wonderful view and wake to up deer and bunnies in our yard.

But, we need to move closer to DH's work for financial reasons, and a shorter commute would allow him to spend more time with DS and I. We have the opportunity to live in either a city environment, with lots and lots of amenities nearby and DH only 15 minutes from work. But, it is a tiny lot a few miles from busy highways and a small airport. More noise and pollution, but shorter drive to everything. There is a park very close, library, rec center, schools within walking distance.

Or, we could go further out and get a house with land--2 acres or so. I've always wanted animals and i could, eventually, get a few. We love the views, quietness of a more rural setting, but I don't like to drive. DS LOVES people and my biggest concern is that he wouldn't be around people enough for his taste, as he gets older. And I like to keep him involved in things. I may home school,in which case I'd also want him near "things" so he can be around other people and kids.

What do you think? City or countryish? What would you do?

close to parks, etc. We can walk to Kindergarten come fall. DH works less than a mile away. The city has bike paths everywhere. We have a tiny fenced-in yard. Really tiny.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 6th, 2006, 8:35 pm

June 27th, 2012, 7:06 pm #4

Right now we live in nice area outside of a suburb. We have about .25 acres but it is far from "rural" and it is a regular neighborhood. It takes us 15 minutes to get to "town" and 30 minutes to get to the city. It's not bad now that DS is young. We usually go out once a day, but I don't love making two trips out. We have a wonderful view and wake to up deer and bunnies in our yard.

But, we need to move closer to DH's work for financial reasons, and a shorter commute would allow him to spend more time with DS and I. We have the opportunity to live in either a city environment, with lots and lots of amenities nearby and DH only 15 minutes from work. But, it is a tiny lot a few miles from busy highways and a small airport. More noise and pollution, but shorter drive to everything. There is a park very close, library, rec center, schools within walking distance.

Or, we could go further out and get a house with land--2 acres or so. I've always wanted animals and i could, eventually, get a few. We love the views, quietness of a more rural setting, but I don't like to drive. DS LOVES people and my biggest concern is that he wouldn't be around people enough for his taste, as he gets older. And I like to keep him involved in things. I may home school,in which case I'd also want him near "things" so he can be around other people and kids.

What do you think? City or countryish? What would you do?

My in-laws live in the country and I love to visit because it is so peaceful and different from what I am used to (I grew up in the city). However I much prefer to live in the city with quick access to everything. I would also prefer DH getting home as early as possible!



Quote
Like
Share

Joined: June 28th, 2008, 7:01 pm

June 27th, 2012, 10:11 pm #5

Right now we live in nice area outside of a suburb. We have about .25 acres but it is far from "rural" and it is a regular neighborhood. It takes us 15 minutes to get to "town" and 30 minutes to get to the city. It's not bad now that DS is young. We usually go out once a day, but I don't love making two trips out. We have a wonderful view and wake to up deer and bunnies in our yard.

But, we need to move closer to DH's work for financial reasons, and a shorter commute would allow him to spend more time with DS and I. We have the opportunity to live in either a city environment, with lots and lots of amenities nearby and DH only 15 minutes from work. But, it is a tiny lot a few miles from busy highways and a small airport. More noise and pollution, but shorter drive to everything. There is a park very close, library, rec center, schools within walking distance.

Or, we could go further out and get a house with land--2 acres or so. I've always wanted animals and i could, eventually, get a few. We love the views, quietness of a more rural setting, but I don't like to drive. DS LOVES people and my biggest concern is that he wouldn't be around people enough for his taste, as he gets older. And I like to keep him involved in things. I may home school,in which case I'd also want him near "things" so he can be around other people and kids.

What do you think? City or countryish? What would you do?

I vote city. I would like the convenience amenities and your dh having more time at home. Plus, the extra land is just a lot more work to maintain. I'd rather take that time and play in the neighborhood park with my kiddos. But then again, I've always been a city type girl who loves to visit the country.

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: November 10th, 2004, 4:12 am

June 27th, 2012, 10:25 pm #6

Right now we live in nice area outside of a suburb. We have about .25 acres but it is far from "rural" and it is a regular neighborhood. It takes us 15 minutes to get to "town" and 30 minutes to get to the city. It's not bad now that DS is young. We usually go out once a day, but I don't love making two trips out. We have a wonderful view and wake to up deer and bunnies in our yard.

But, we need to move closer to DH's work for financial reasons, and a shorter commute would allow him to spend more time with DS and I. We have the opportunity to live in either a city environment, with lots and lots of amenities nearby and DH only 15 minutes from work. But, it is a tiny lot a few miles from busy highways and a small airport. More noise and pollution, but shorter drive to everything. There is a park very close, library, rec center, schools within walking distance.

Or, we could go further out and get a house with land--2 acres or so. I've always wanted animals and i could, eventually, get a few. We love the views, quietness of a more rural setting, but I don't like to drive. DS LOVES people and my biggest concern is that he wouldn't be around people enough for his taste, as he gets older. And I like to keep him involved in things. I may home school,in which case I'd also want him near "things" so he can be around other people and kids.

What do you think? City or countryish? What would you do?

12 years ago my DH and I moved from a very big city to 42 acres next to a small town that is about an hour from a smaller city and 1.5 hours to a slightly larger city. One of our reasons was b/c we wanted to raise our family in the country. Back then gas was affordable and DH landed a great job in the neighboring town. Over the years we spent all our savings and retirement on trying to have our one DS, DH's dream job ended when his company folded due to 9/11 (aircraft related), and we both wound up commuting to the 2 different cities each day (1 hour and 1.5 hours away respectively).

I got pregnant and DH's SECOND company shut down when I was 5 m pregnant and I lost my job when DS was 2 months old.

Ever since DS arrived I have been thinking the best thing to do would be to move back to the BIG city we came from (4 hours away) where we have family, jobs are plentiful, income levels are higher, cost of living is lower and we can stop commuting. Honestly, towards the end of DH's 2nd job, when we were both commuting to 2 different cities each 1 hr to 1.5 hrs away our fuel bill was higher than our mortgage! Plus, with our savings gone (well over 100K on ttcing) we will NEVER be able to fix up the property and house as we dreamed -- it will always be "older" and rougher. I LOVE our place even as it is and I think it would be VERY tough for me to learn how to live next door to people again and not have all the privacy, etc., and I LOVE watching my DS run and play all over the property, but I also cannot figure out how we can possibly resume all that commuting AND have a young child in school. And, frankly, I'm tired. I'm SO tired of struggling financially and having no time to enjoy our home or family. What good is a big place in the country if you have no time to enjoy it and when you are there you are exhausted from driving and working -- I miss my former life in the city where everything is just next door or down the street - you can have food or other things delivered, there is family to help with DS, cousins that he can grow with, all sorts of culture and things to do exemplary schools all around, etc. (there isn't an exemplary school within an hour of us now!).

Yet, when I sit on our front porch in the morning with my coffee and enjoy the deer and horses and peace of it all and envision the garden I MIGHT have one day if I could just get the time, I can't bear the thought of leaving it. I'm truly struggling with this. Honestly, if I were currently living in the city and knew what I know now - I'd never make the move. But it's SO hard to give up the country life once you're use to it -- at least for me. For now we've decided to try and make it work but, once my contract work starts drying up -- it may force the decision We'll see.

Sorry! Not much help!

sas

Last edited by sangelas on June 27th, 2012, 10:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 2nd, 2005, 3:49 pm

June 28th, 2012, 12:15 am #7

Right now we live in nice area outside of a suburb. We have about .25 acres but it is far from "rural" and it is a regular neighborhood. It takes us 15 minutes to get to "town" and 30 minutes to get to the city. It's not bad now that DS is young. We usually go out once a day, but I don't love making two trips out. We have a wonderful view and wake to up deer and bunnies in our yard.

But, we need to move closer to DH's work for financial reasons, and a shorter commute would allow him to spend more time with DS and I. We have the opportunity to live in either a city environment, with lots and lots of amenities nearby and DH only 15 minutes from work. But, it is a tiny lot a few miles from busy highways and a small airport. More noise and pollution, but shorter drive to everything. There is a park very close, library, rec center, schools within walking distance.

Or, we could go further out and get a house with land--2 acres or so. I've always wanted animals and i could, eventually, get a few. We love the views, quietness of a more rural setting, but I don't like to drive. DS LOVES people and my biggest concern is that he wouldn't be around people enough for his taste, as he gets older. And I like to keep him involved in things. I may home school,in which case I'd also want him near "things" so he can be around other people and kids.

What do you think? City or countryish? What would you do?

When we moved a few years ago with the twins small infants, it was very important to me to be within walking distance to most important things. Putting 3 kids in car seats to get anywhere was not my idea of a good time. And because we didn't know anyone, being isolated in a more quiet/remote hood also did not appeal to me. We love our neighborhood, and let me tell you, being able to walk to the library, playground, grocery store, coffee shop, etc. has saved me more than once. I also feel less isolated because there are people around to chat with, even if they aren't friends per se. Ideally we'd have both. A little cabin in the woods somewhere for weekends and our house in the city (admittedly, it's a pretty small city, but still a city!).
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: July 17th, 2011, 6:13 pm

June 28th, 2012, 1:37 am #8

Right now we live in nice area outside of a suburb. We have about .25 acres but it is far from "rural" and it is a regular neighborhood. It takes us 15 minutes to get to "town" and 30 minutes to get to the city. It's not bad now that DS is young. We usually go out once a day, but I don't love making two trips out. We have a wonderful view and wake to up deer and bunnies in our yard.

But, we need to move closer to DH's work for financial reasons, and a shorter commute would allow him to spend more time with DS and I. We have the opportunity to live in either a city environment, with lots and lots of amenities nearby and DH only 15 minutes from work. But, it is a tiny lot a few miles from busy highways and a small airport. More noise and pollution, but shorter drive to everything. There is a park very close, library, rec center, schools within walking distance.

Or, we could go further out and get a house with land--2 acres or so. I've always wanted animals and i could, eventually, get a few. We love the views, quietness of a more rural setting, but I don't like to drive. DS LOVES people and my biggest concern is that he wouldn't be around people enough for his taste, as he gets older. And I like to keep him involved in things. I may home school,in which case I'd also want him near "things" so he can be around other people and kids.

What do you think? City or countryish? What would you do?

the woods, the freedom, the chickens, the frog songs, the sky...

It is only for those who are ready to abandon their city jobs for something less worldly and more local. Trying to combine both worlds won't work. While the biggest challenge for my kids is not having many friends, I think they can always explore the city, but they can never have another childhood on a hobby farm.
Last edited by niahm12 on June 28th, 2012, 1:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: January 18th, 2008, 2:37 pm

June 28th, 2012, 1:42 am #9

Right now we live in nice area outside of a suburb. We have about .25 acres but it is far from "rural" and it is a regular neighborhood. It takes us 15 minutes to get to "town" and 30 minutes to get to the city. It's not bad now that DS is young. We usually go out once a day, but I don't love making two trips out. We have a wonderful view and wake to up deer and bunnies in our yard.

But, we need to move closer to DH's work for financial reasons, and a shorter commute would allow him to spend more time with DS and I. We have the opportunity to live in either a city environment, with lots and lots of amenities nearby and DH only 15 minutes from work. But, it is a tiny lot a few miles from busy highways and a small airport. More noise and pollution, but shorter drive to everything. There is a park very close, library, rec center, schools within walking distance.

Or, we could go further out and get a house with land--2 acres or so. I've always wanted animals and i could, eventually, get a few. We love the views, quietness of a more rural setting, but I don't like to drive. DS LOVES people and my biggest concern is that he wouldn't be around people enough for his taste, as he gets older. And I like to keep him involved in things. I may home school,in which case I'd also want him near "things" so he can be around other people and kids.

What do you think? City or countryish? What would you do?

when I got married. I could write a book about this topic. I think I go back & forth daily, if not hourly! Grew up in the suburbs, hated it, left when I went to college and never went back to live. Could never live there again, but never say never. LOVE the city. Love the energy, the diversity of people, the culture, the parks where I spent countless hours over countless years, sitting on a bench watching snow fall gently, surrounded by glorious lights and the smell of chestnuts roasting. MISS IT so much.

Fast forward many years. I moved to a very rural area when we got married. DH loves country pursuits and spent most of his adulthood in the country. We have a wonderful life here. I transitioned better than I expected. Went from single in the city to married in the country. There are still some things that I can't adjust to, but by & large, I'm okay. If DH wanted to move to the city, I'd be packed in a day...that's how much I still miss it. He likes the city, but for short periods. He also travels a lot for work and spends tons of weeks in NYC each year, so I tag along as much as I can. Those days are the most glorious and I love sharing all the city offers with the boys.

BUT....and this is a big but...the country now calls me when I'm away. I find myself missing it. I miss the crisp, clear air that is SO fresh smelling, it's unreal. I miss the big, open sky...at night we often go outside and just look UP...don't have to say a word. There's something about nighttime in the country, that teaches you how insignificant we humans really are in the big picture. The deep, dense dark of the night sky, the millions of stars that look down upon us. It's breathtaking in it's simplicity and yet it's the most complicated, most hard to understand thing. THe country has gotten under my skin and I find myself thinking about it when I'm in that place I love most of all...the city. I find myself yearning to see that sky I described, to feel the gentle mist of a summer rain & smell the fresh air that you cannot experience in the city...it's unique to the country and I never knew about it. I find myself yearning to hear the bark of a fox, or see a magnificent red-tailed hawk fly overhead, or hear the peepers at night down at the pond. I'd miss it if we moved, so very much.

So where would I choose to live? Like SAS, I'm torn. I work from home, so don't have a commute to deal with. I am so isolated, though. I miss my close friends and family, all of whom are 2+ hrs away. DH travels a lot and I am often alone. But I have my boys and that's changed things dramatically. Life here for them, is almost a no-brainer. They would have a wonderful life in the city, too, yet a different life. They would have access to SO much, all within a walk or subway ride away. But here, here they have nature that is something glorious to experience. They have a 1 mile gravel road that is ours, no traffic, just a right-of-way for a family that lives a mile away. THey can ride bikes, hike, explore to their heart's content. We walk and see all sorts of wildflowers, trees, bugs, butterflies, critters, snakes, deer, fox...they have gotten into collecting rocks and tree bark. We have streams that one day soon they will explore and a huge pond where they will fish and maybe swim. It's safe here, it's quiet. We get so much more for our money. We have a fabulous home that would cost 5x more if near the city. I am learning to live with less. I don't want for anything, but since I have to drive far to get anything, I often choose to do without. And do fine not having it. We are 30 min to a big supermarket and shops, 45 min to a mall (I never go, am just not a mall shopper anymore), 1 hr to a very small city and 2.5 hrs to a large city. We don't have lots of school options, if I want music or language classes for the boys, I'd have to drive VERY far and that is admittedly a drag, but we'll get by at least for the first few yrs of school and then figure things out.

It's a hard decision, but it's not about me anymore. My work would be better in the city, or closer to the city. But I do fine. We have talked about moving to NYC for a few yrs for one last "hurrah" for DH's business (and would be great for my business), but we are just in the talking phase. The boys love it here. We are an active family and this suits our lifestyle. We have horses and although I don't have time to ride anymore (actually gave my horse away recently because I wasn't riding), it warms my heart to know the boys will have all of these activities to choose from. As a family, we kayak, hike, bike, walk constantly, could ride horses if we wanted, grow veggies in a huge garden...but we also have tons of work to maintain 30 acres.

Like SAS, I sit outside in the morning drinking coffee, or watch the boys running around catching butterflies or frogs and I think "why would I think of leaving here". I am so fortunate to have a lifestyle that is this wonderful daily. And although I give up a LOT to be here, I also wonder how much of all of that is even necessary any more.

I haven't answered your question. It's a complicated question. There is no easy answer, can you tell? I think you need to look inside for the answer. What are the important things to you, at this point in your life? I am lucky in that I get to the city fairly to visit, which seems to satisfy me until the next time. If I didn't have that opportunity, I'd be constantly grumpy! So the boys get to experience that way of life, albeit on a small scale. At least they are experiencing it, which is what I want for them. Lots of varied experiences.

Need to go. Sorry this got so long. Country vs city is one of my favorite topics! Good luck!

Last edited by shayrose on June 28th, 2012, 1:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: July 3rd, 2010, 9:13 pm

June 28th, 2012, 4:21 am #10

Right now we live in nice area outside of a suburb. We have about .25 acres but it is far from "rural" and it is a regular neighborhood. It takes us 15 minutes to get to "town" and 30 minutes to get to the city. It's not bad now that DS is young. We usually go out once a day, but I don't love making two trips out. We have a wonderful view and wake to up deer and bunnies in our yard.

But, we need to move closer to DH's work for financial reasons, and a shorter commute would allow him to spend more time with DS and I. We have the opportunity to live in either a city environment, with lots and lots of amenities nearby and DH only 15 minutes from work. But, it is a tiny lot a few miles from busy highways and a small airport. More noise and pollution, but shorter drive to everything. There is a park very close, library, rec center, schools within walking distance.

Or, we could go further out and get a house with land--2 acres or so. I've always wanted animals and i could, eventually, get a few. We love the views, quietness of a more rural setting, but I don't like to drive. DS LOVES people and my biggest concern is that he wouldn't be around people enough for his taste, as he gets older. And I like to keep him involved in things. I may home school,in which case I'd also want him near "things" so he can be around other people and kids.

What do you think? City or countryish? What would you do?

All of them resonate with me in some way! I love hearing about everyone--where they live and what they love.

I think I grew up with the best of both worlds. We lived in a suburb and I had lots of friends in my neighborhood. We would go out and play all day until our parents called us in for dinner. Then, when we were old enough, we'd be back out until bedtime. I'm not sure this kind of life is safe any more, but it was great. As essentially an only child, like DS (my sister was 10 years older), this was great. School, a pool, the library was all within bike-riding distance. But, the best part was that my mom's uncle left a cabin to her and her siblings. So, nearly every weekend in the summer we would drive over 2 hours on Friday evening to our cabin, which was quite secluded and stay all weekend. It was lovely. We would look at the stars, play in the mud, catch tadpoles, etc...I often felt as though the other kids in my school didn't understand me as I would come back and talk about the stream we floated our dolls in or the porcupine my dog "bit" or bring back wild flowers for my teacher. I would cry when we left the ranch. That said, usually my best friend went along for the weekend, or my cousins were there. I do believe that if I had been the only child I might not have enjoyed it quite as much. And I did enjoy coming home to our close-knit neighborhood.

So, we are leaning towards a house that is in the city where my husband works. Right now DS only sees his daddy for 5 minutes in the morning during the work week. But we plan to save our money and, if not buy a little rustic cabin, at least buy a trailer and go camping as much as possible. Maybe when he is older, move further out and have some animals (course, we'll be too old by then to care for the animals, etc:).

Who knows, before it is said and done we may change our minds. I'll let you know where we end up!

Quote
Like
Share