Not looking good....siiiigh. (MC mentioned)

Not looking good....siiiigh. (MC mentioned)

Joined: May 30th, 2012, 11:01 pm

August 7th, 2012, 2:16 pm #1

So, as of today I'm 11dp5dt, and have peed on a zillion sticks, with very disappointing results. Official beta is on Thursday AM, but I'm now convinced that this cycle is a bust. I posted previously that the one embryo we transferred was the only one of 5 to make it to blast. The more negative pee sticks I encounter, the more I think that was a bad omen from the start. We've had two previous miscarriages, and in both of those instances I got a positive HPT by 8 or 9dp5dt. Every morning I say to myself - if this were going to work out, there would be enough hcg to show up by now. And, so far, nothing.
Siiiiigggghhhhhhhh. I admit it, I harbored the fantasy that we would, for ONCE, fall on the lucky side of the statistics, and be one of those couples who got pregnant on their first DE IVF. I'm feeling really bitter and jaded and honestly - ANGRY - right now. I know I shouldn't completely give up until the official beta results, I do understand that there's still a chance, but in my heart it feels like a remote one. Not stopping my nightly injections, as much as I want to. Ugh.
We're doing shared risk, so at least there's no financial implications to agonize over - so that's a plus. Is it horrible that one of the things I'm thinking about to make myself feel better is a potential tropical vacation to an all-inclusive (read: constant-alcohol-consumption) resort? Thanks for letting me share here, I feel better already.
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Joined: May 1st, 2012, 10:58 pm

August 7th, 2012, 4:28 pm #2

It's still possible that you are pregnant, but your HCG level isn't high enough for the sticks. Even if past transfers gave you a positive stick result this soon, it doesn't mean this one will. This one was frozen a little longer than the previous ones, right? You'll find out for sure in a few days, but until you do, can you muster up some hope? I'm also in my 2WW. If past performance is a predictor, I won't be successful, but I just have to believe until I know for sure. I know all of us here are rooting for you.
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Joined: January 13th, 2010, 6:26 pm

August 7th, 2012, 5:19 pm #3

So, as of today I'm 11dp5dt, and have peed on a zillion sticks, with very disappointing results. Official beta is on Thursday AM, but I'm now convinced that this cycle is a bust. I posted previously that the one embryo we transferred was the only one of 5 to make it to blast. The more negative pee sticks I encounter, the more I think that was a bad omen from the start. We've had two previous miscarriages, and in both of those instances I got a positive HPT by 8 or 9dp5dt. Every morning I say to myself - if this were going to work out, there would be enough hcg to show up by now. And, so far, nothing.
Siiiiigggghhhhhhhh. I admit it, I harbored the fantasy that we would, for ONCE, fall on the lucky side of the statistics, and be one of those couples who got pregnant on their first DE IVF. I'm feeling really bitter and jaded and honestly - ANGRY - right now. I know I shouldn't completely give up until the official beta results, I do understand that there's still a chance, but in my heart it feels like a remote one. Not stopping my nightly injections, as much as I want to. Ugh.
We're doing shared risk, so at least there's no financial implications to agonize over - so that's a plus. Is it horrible that one of the things I'm thinking about to make myself feel better is a potential tropical vacation to an all-inclusive (read: constant-alcohol-consumption) resort? Thanks for letting me share here, I feel better already.
The other poster is right, that you won't know for sure until the official beta. Some embryos seem to be slow starters. And I hope that is the case for you!
But I also want to say that I 100% don't blame you for you for thinking about the tropical vacation if this doesn't work out. I took several of what I liked to call "fertility vacations" in between cycles. Part of what makes this journey so hard is feeling like you're putting everything enjoyable in life on hold, so let yourself have whatever you need to recharge and keep the faith. I wish you all the best!
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Violet
Violet

August 7th, 2012, 6:20 pm #4

So, as of today I'm 11dp5dt, and have peed on a zillion sticks, with very disappointing results. Official beta is on Thursday AM, but I'm now convinced that this cycle is a bust. I posted previously that the one embryo we transferred was the only one of 5 to make it to blast. The more negative pee sticks I encounter, the more I think that was a bad omen from the start. We've had two previous miscarriages, and in both of those instances I got a positive HPT by 8 or 9dp5dt. Every morning I say to myself - if this were going to work out, there would be enough hcg to show up by now. And, so far, nothing.
Siiiiigggghhhhhhhh. I admit it, I harbored the fantasy that we would, for ONCE, fall on the lucky side of the statistics, and be one of those couples who got pregnant on their first DE IVF. I'm feeling really bitter and jaded and honestly - ANGRY - right now. I know I shouldn't completely give up until the official beta results, I do understand that there's still a chance, but in my heart it feels like a remote one. Not stopping my nightly injections, as much as I want to. Ugh.
We're doing shared risk, so at least there's no financial implications to agonize over - so that's a plus. Is it horrible that one of the things I'm thinking about to make myself feel better is a potential tropical vacation to an all-inclusive (read: constant-alcohol-consumption) resort? Thanks for letting me share here, I feel better already.
You have a full right to all of your emotions and you have to feel what you feel.
Please don't give up hope until you get the beta results.
Sometimes it helps to think of something else to get you through these crazy days of waiting. Tropical vacations with cocktails sounds fun to me so if you have let your mind wander to maintain sanity so be it.

Please keep us posted.
Violet
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Zoya2
Zoya2

August 8th, 2012, 12:55 pm #5

So, as of today I'm 11dp5dt, and have peed on a zillion sticks, with very disappointing results. Official beta is on Thursday AM, but I'm now convinced that this cycle is a bust. I posted previously that the one embryo we transferred was the only one of 5 to make it to blast. The more negative pee sticks I encounter, the more I think that was a bad omen from the start. We've had two previous miscarriages, and in both of those instances I got a positive HPT by 8 or 9dp5dt. Every morning I say to myself - if this were going to work out, there would be enough hcg to show up by now. And, so far, nothing.
Siiiiigggghhhhhhhh. I admit it, I harbored the fantasy that we would, for ONCE, fall on the lucky side of the statistics, and be one of those couples who got pregnant on their first DE IVF. I'm feeling really bitter and jaded and honestly - ANGRY - right now. I know I shouldn't completely give up until the official beta results, I do understand that there's still a chance, but in my heart it feels like a remote one. Not stopping my nightly injections, as much as I want to. Ugh.
We're doing shared risk, so at least there's no financial implications to agonize over - so that's a plus. Is it horrible that one of the things I'm thinking about to make myself feel better is a potential tropical vacation to an all-inclusive (read: constant-alcohol-consumption) resort? Thanks for letting me share here, I feel better already.
I'm sorry that you haven't had a BFP with the stick yet, but try to hang in there until you get the beta. I'm crossing my fingers for you!

I also agree that a tropical vacation with tropical drinks sounds great if that's what you need if this cycle doesn't work out for you. We took a couple of vacations in between my miscarriages, and it was just what I needed. I think you should do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. Also, please let yourself feel however you need to feel. This process is so incredibly tough.

Take care.
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futurebeauty
futurebeauty

August 9th, 2012, 2:45 am #6

So, as of today I'm 11dp5dt, and have peed on a zillion sticks, with very disappointing results. Official beta is on Thursday AM, but I'm now convinced that this cycle is a bust. I posted previously that the one embryo we transferred was the only one of 5 to make it to blast. The more negative pee sticks I encounter, the more I think that was a bad omen from the start. We've had two previous miscarriages, and in both of those instances I got a positive HPT by 8 or 9dp5dt. Every morning I say to myself - if this were going to work out, there would be enough hcg to show up by now. And, so far, nothing.
Siiiiigggghhhhhhhh. I admit it, I harbored the fantasy that we would, for ONCE, fall on the lucky side of the statistics, and be one of those couples who got pregnant on their first DE IVF. I'm feeling really bitter and jaded and honestly - ANGRY - right now. I know I shouldn't completely give up until the official beta results, I do understand that there's still a chance, but in my heart it feels like a remote one. Not stopping my nightly injections, as much as I want to. Ugh.
We're doing shared risk, so at least there's no financial implications to agonize over - so that's a plus. Is it horrible that one of the things I'm thinking about to make myself feel better is a potential tropical vacation to an all-inclusive (read: constant-alcohol-consumption) resort? Thanks for letting me share here, I feel better already.
My heart aches for your lack of a BFP on HPT. Just heart wrenching.

(((Hugs)))

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