No miracle... Just another m/c

Joined: January 16th, 2011, 11:41 pm

January 28th, 2014, 8:34 pm #1

I went in this morning for a beta draw because I "knew" it wasn't right. My intuition was correct as the beta only rose to 155. No miracle. DH and I really drew the short straw with all things infertility-related. The doctor will see who else used the eggs(there was an ET today with them) and won't make me use the frosties if no one else has an on-going pg. Otherwise I have to transfer them before selecting a new donor. I don't have the stomach to do this anymore but I can't get out of the program w/out a huge financial hit that we can't afford to just let them keep. I just caved and told my mom. I truly hate all of this. It's sheer misery...
Quote
Like
Share

AC in Boston
AC in Boston

January 28th, 2014, 9:02 pm #2

I'm sorry... I wish I could have a good cry with you and GIANT glass of wine. Eff it, a whole bottle. I was so hopeful for you and I know how long you've been on this journey. I'm so sad for you. Take good care.
Quote
Share

Stacey
Stacey

January 28th, 2014, 9:18 pm #3

I went in this morning for a beta draw because I "knew" it wasn't right. My intuition was correct as the beta only rose to 155. No miracle. DH and I really drew the short straw with all things infertility-related. The doctor will see who else used the eggs(there was an ET today with them) and won't make me use the frosties if no one else has an on-going pg. Otherwise I have to transfer them before selecting a new donor. I don't have the stomach to do this anymore but I can't get out of the program w/out a huge financial hit that we can't afford to just let them keep. I just caved and told my mom. I truly hate all of this. It's sheer misery...
I am so sorry Mrs McIrish! I wish it would have worked. I hope RBA can help you figure out what is going on. I know this is exhausting. Infertility is so cruel!
Please try again. You will be a great mom!
Quote
Share

Joined: February 11th, 2008, 6:45 am

January 28th, 2014, 9:19 pm #4

I went in this morning for a beta draw because I "knew" it wasn't right. My intuition was correct as the beta only rose to 155. No miracle. DH and I really drew the short straw with all things infertility-related. The doctor will see who else used the eggs(there was an ET today with them) and won't make me use the frosties if no one else has an on-going pg. Otherwise I have to transfer them before selecting a new donor. I don't have the stomach to do this anymore but I can't get out of the program w/out a huge financial hit that we can't afford to just let them keep. I just caved and told my mom. I truly hate all of this. It's sheer misery...
I am so sorry. This is just so unfair. Sheer misery is right. I so hope that there is a miracle around the next corner, but I totally get that that doesn't seem at all possible right now. HUGE HUGS.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

January 28th, 2014, 9:46 pm #5

I went in this morning for a beta draw because I "knew" it wasn't right. My intuition was correct as the beta only rose to 155. No miracle. DH and I really drew the short straw with all things infertility-related. The doctor will see who else used the eggs(there was an ET today with them) and won't make me use the frosties if no one else has an on-going pg. Otherwise I have to transfer them before selecting a new donor. I don't have the stomach to do this anymore but I can't get out of the program w/out a huge financial hit that we can't afford to just let them keep. I just caved and told my mom. I truly hate all of this. It's sheer misery...
Wishing you better in the future! Maggie (in VA)
Quote
Like
Share

Piper
Piper

January 28th, 2014, 9:54 pm #6

I went in this morning for a beta draw because I "knew" it wasn't right. My intuition was correct as the beta only rose to 155. No miracle. DH and I really drew the short straw with all things infertility-related. The doctor will see who else used the eggs(there was an ET today with them) and won't make me use the frosties if no one else has an on-going pg. Otherwise I have to transfer them before selecting a new donor. I don't have the stomach to do this anymore but I can't get out of the program w/out a huge financial hit that we can't afford to just let them keep. I just caved and told my mom. I truly hate all of this. It's sheer misery...
And so sad for the two of you. I am saddened for your loss this time and sad for the losses you have faced through the years.

Please know that I am thinking of you.
Quote
Share

Erin
Erin

January 28th, 2014, 10:57 pm #7

I went in this morning for a beta draw because I "knew" it wasn't right. My intuition was correct as the beta only rose to 155. No miracle. DH and I really drew the short straw with all things infertility-related. The doctor will see who else used the eggs(there was an ET today with them) and won't make me use the frosties if no one else has an on-going pg. Otherwise I have to transfer them before selecting a new donor. I don't have the stomach to do this anymore but I can't get out of the program w/out a huge financial hit that we can't afford to just let them keep. I just caved and told my mom. I truly hate all of this. It's sheer misery...
You've just been through so much, and I know it took all you had to get back on the horse after trying to live CFNBC. As PP said, I think you will make a great mom, and you got the guarantee for a reason... But also as a PP said, I can understand why it feels un fathomable that this will ever work out. Sending hugs and wishing there were words that would help right now.
Quote
Share

Joined: August 1st, 2012, 6:50 pm

January 29th, 2014, 12:05 am #8

I went in this morning for a beta draw because I "knew" it wasn't right. My intuition was correct as the beta only rose to 155. No miracle. DH and I really drew the short straw with all things infertility-related. The doctor will see who else used the eggs(there was an ET today with them) and won't make me use the frosties if no one else has an on-going pg. Otherwise I have to transfer them before selecting a new donor. I don't have the stomach to do this anymore but I can't get out of the program w/out a huge financial hit that we can't afford to just let them keep. I just caved and told my mom. I truly hate all of this. It's sheer misery...
You have every reason to hate all of this. The process is punishing and to get this close several times only to be disappointed...it just shouldn't happen to anyone. I have had many losses. They don't get easier. I'm just very very sorry. It shouldn't be this hard.

I don't know your whole history, whether you have already seen a RI or had immune testing with someone, etc... You may be feeling overwhelmed right now, but having gotten this far, you must be resilient and resourceful. Let yourself mourn a little before you feel compelled to do anything. You will come up with a plan when you are ready. You have lots of support here.

Take good care of yourself,
Sophie
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

January 29th, 2014, 1:18 am #9

I went in this morning for a beta draw because I "knew" it wasn't right. My intuition was correct as the beta only rose to 155. No miracle. DH and I really drew the short straw with all things infertility-related. The doctor will see who else used the eggs(there was an ET today with them) and won't make me use the frosties if no one else has an on-going pg. Otherwise I have to transfer them before selecting a new donor. I don't have the stomach to do this anymore but I can't get out of the program w/out a huge financial hit that we can't afford to just let them keep. I just caved and told my mom. I truly hate all of this. It's sheer misery...
I wish we were all part of the same community and could really, really be able to support you instead of just from afar. Take your time to regroup and grieve...keep on moving forward though when it is time to. I am so sorry.
Quote
Like
Share

Mrs. M
Mrs. M

January 29th, 2014, 1:35 am #10

I went in this morning for a beta draw because I "knew" it wasn't right. My intuition was correct as the beta only rose to 155. No miracle. DH and I really drew the short straw with all things infertility-related. The doctor will see who else used the eggs(there was an ET today with them) and won't make me use the frosties if no one else has an on-going pg. Otherwise I have to transfer them before selecting a new donor. I don't have the stomach to do this anymore but I can't get out of the program w/out a huge financial hit that we can't afford to just let them keep. I just caved and told my mom. I truly hate all of this. It's sheer misery...
You have been through so much. I was hoping this was going to be the cycle for you. I'm so sorry. ((hugs))
Quote
Share