Joined: January 19th, 2007, 7:18 pm

February 15th, 2012, 3:32 pm #11

I don't mean preparatory talking in an attempt to plan the night. I mean having him make mental suggestions to himself by simply making the statement "I will not have bad dreams tonight." That apparently sends the subconscious a message and it prevents nightmares. Again, I don't know if it works in children, but it works in adults and it works for me every time. Also if he's not really having bad dreams, then that won't work either, but it's worth a shot.

I agree that you definitely need to be there for him when he's frightened. I also think he will either grow out of it or learn how to self soothe back to sleep.
Just reporting what we did that didn't work! Will try this.

Dh went in once last night but didn't have to say very long, so that's an improvement over some nights.



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Joined: January 19th, 2007, 7:18 pm

February 15th, 2012, 4:35 pm #12

... us meaning, me. Dad usually sleeps in the spare room because of my snoring and can't just sleep with little ones. It doesn't bother me. In fact, she sleeps longer in the AM if with me. BUT she doesn't wake up screaming, just says she's afraid of the dark - the DARK OUTSIDE, not necessarily in the house. We keep their door ajar and a bright light on in the hall.

I know, its baffling. Poor little guy.

1st kids for us!
5th DE attempt
Yes, dark & shadows are what he reports, too. He starts out calling us for & escalates quickly to crying for us. I guess I assume they are nightmares, but perhaps he is just waking & getting scared.

He insists the hall light stay on, which actually makes more shadows in the room b/c of the gap under the door. I've explained that to him, but no go. He wants the hall light on. And if he wakes up & it's off, then he really does start screaming.



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Joined: January 19th, 2007, 7:18 pm

February 15th, 2012, 4:37 pm #13

My DS talks about his dreams and bad dreams, but he hasn't woken up in fear of them as of yet, even though he does mention them. Actually, now that I think of it, he does wake in the middle of the night sometimes, but not often. And I will sleep next to him until he falls asleep. If he mentions it the next morning, I try to get him to tell me what happened in the dream and then I try (see I use the word 'try') to explain how dreams work. I guess maybe he is too young even though I explain it in 4 year old terms.

As an aside, DS has also already asked me what happens after someone dies? where is my penis? and who is G-d? Such difficult questions! Our babies are growing up so quickly.

Yes to tough questions like dying! Would post more, but gotta run out the door. Literally.



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Joined: January 18th, 2008, 2:37 pm

February 15th, 2012, 5:01 pm #14

We've been having problems on & off with ds #1 waking up in the middle of the night hysterical. Lately, it's more often than not & dh ends up sleeping in his room.

We're not sure what to do. We don't want to end up in a situation where ds #1 starts to want & expect daddy to sleep with him, but OTOH, he's waking up hysterically scared, so we aren't going to ignore him. We do wait a little bit to see if he'll self-soothe & drop back to sleep but that's almost always not the case. Last night, dh waited even longer than normal, but no go.

Is there even a solution to this? Night lights have been a bust b/c they create shadows, which he's afraid of.

Will he just outgrow it?

On the plus side, a la the recent snoring thread, I'm sleeping better with dh otherwise occupied but I know long term it's not a good idea.



Mostly related to shadows. They want the nightlight to stay on, but don't understand that any light in the room will cause shadows. The main issue is the shadow cast on the ceiling from the ceiling fan. There's no way to prevent it, other than turn off the nightlights. No go! They won't have it. So nightly, one or both boys woke up crying because of shadows.

So, I unpacked 2 dolls my mom made me when I was younger. They are boy/girl scarecrows, about 30" tall. I put them in the boys room, in view of either bed. Told the boys the scarecrows will scare away the shadows. It worked! Of course, the shadows are still there, but to the boys they aren't...or at least they think Peter & Patty (the names I chose for them when I was a kid) are keeping the shadows from being too scary.

We've also been battling night terrors, but that's another whole story....

Good luck & I hope your DS's fears go away soon. I feel for him! I had many fears at night when I was little, even as a young adult.

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