Need some calming words and reassurance..

Need some calming words and reassurance..

Joined: November 27th, 2011, 4:22 pm

March 28th, 2012, 6:17 pm #1

I wrote yesterday about my donor possibly developing OHSS... well it looks like that is, indeed, what's happened. I thought everyone was so careful - based on her high resting follicle count, etc.., we knew this was a potential issue, but my RE did everything she could to prevent it. My donor is being a total trooper and is not angry at us or the RE, but I'm just feeling so badly for her, knowing that this is all a result of donating for us.. I am hoping and praying there are no long-term consequences for her.

On top of that, and I know I shouldn't be thinking of this right now, I'm freaking out about finances. Since we are both teachers and insurance doesn't pay a penny for infertility, we're stretched fairly thin with this. We budgeted enough for at least one fresh and a couple frozen cycles if necessary, but that was without any sort of complication. We were paying for all my donor's appointments, meds, etc.. and I was compensating her for her time off work. MUCH less expensive than going through an agency, but still not cheap.. And now this. I have no idea what it's going to cost to treat her or get her through this or how many more hours of work she'll have to miss, but it's going to be expensive, I'm sure (will her insurance cover this? who normally pays for something like this). As I read this back over, it sounds so selfish and crazy that I'm worried about money when her health is in jeopardy, but that's not what I intend. We will do anything in the world that she needs!

My transfer is tomorrow. Those 22 beautiful, mature eggs that she donated have produced 20 beautiful embryos, but I'm having a lot of trouble focusing on anything positive. I've barely thought of them at all today, in fact, which make me sad. I just need their donor to be ok. I'm not sure why I'm so upset, since I do realize she'll probably be just fine in a few days... maybe it's all the hormones, but I'm in tears right now just typing this.
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Joined: September 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm

March 28th, 2012, 6:31 pm #2

I am so sorry. That poor woman!

Of course you are upset. No one expects this to happen, even though we know that there is a slight risk of it.

One thing that can be seen as a silver lining might be that the donor is not the one trying to get pregnant. This is a far worse situation when it happens to a woman who is pregnant. It happend to a friend of mine IRL. (she did not suffer any long term consequences at all, but it was an uncomfortable time.)

Try to concentrate on the embryos as much as you can. Hoping for you.
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Joined: July 23rd, 2008, 6:49 am

March 28th, 2012, 6:57 pm #3

I wrote yesterday about my donor possibly developing OHSS... well it looks like that is, indeed, what's happened. I thought everyone was so careful - based on her high resting follicle count, etc.., we knew this was a potential issue, but my RE did everything she could to prevent it. My donor is being a total trooper and is not angry at us or the RE, but I'm just feeling so badly for her, knowing that this is all a result of donating for us.. I am hoping and praying there are no long-term consequences for her.

On top of that, and I know I shouldn't be thinking of this right now, I'm freaking out about finances. Since we are both teachers and insurance doesn't pay a penny for infertility, we're stretched fairly thin with this. We budgeted enough for at least one fresh and a couple frozen cycles if necessary, but that was without any sort of complication. We were paying for all my donor's appointments, meds, etc.. and I was compensating her for her time off work. MUCH less expensive than going through an agency, but still not cheap.. And now this. I have no idea what it's going to cost to treat her or get her through this or how many more hours of work she'll have to miss, but it's going to be expensive, I'm sure (will her insurance cover this? who normally pays for something like this). As I read this back over, it sounds so selfish and crazy that I'm worried about money when her health is in jeopardy, but that's not what I intend. We will do anything in the world that she needs!

My transfer is tomorrow. Those 22 beautiful, mature eggs that she donated have produced 20 beautiful embryos, but I'm having a lot of trouble focusing on anything positive. I've barely thought of them at all today, in fact, which make me sad. I just need their donor to be ok. I'm not sure why I'm so upset, since I do realize she'll probably be just fine in a few days... maybe it's all the hormones, but I'm in tears right now just typing this.
It is not infertility treatment, it is a potentially life-threatening result of infertility treatment, so her insurance should not balk at paying the claim according to the policy - unless you have something else written into your contract. If her insurance policy has a typical 80/20 ratio, then insurance covers 80% of the cost and you would have to pick up the remaining 20% of the cost.

If she is being monitored as an outpatient, then the costs will be minimal. If she goes into the hospital, then the costs could balloon. You didn't mention her being admitted and I assume retrieval was at least three days ago, correct? This next week is critical but usually OHSS resolves in the absence of progesterone. That's why when a woman doing IVF with OE develops OHSS and then goes on to transfer, with the continuing presence of hormones during the 2ww and more if she does get pregnant, it can get really dangerous. In a donor's case, though, they will pull her off all the hormones and hopefully all will just settle down. Sometimes they choose not to even trigger the donor because the trigger shot itself is the real problem as it causes release of the follicles, stimulating progesterone production and causing fluid leaks into the peritoneum.

My first donor hyperstimmed and she did not need to go in the hospital. She also did not receive the trigger shot though as they were so concerned about her they didn't want to take that chance. Basically in her case the follicles just shrank down and were reabsorbed by her body. There are varying degrees of OHSS, as you know, some mild, some severe. Your donor will be dealing with the trigger shot part of it, but she won't be getting pregnant. She's kind of in the middle ground, in other words. She got the HCG trigger shot, worsening the OHSS, but she won't be getting pregnant and with her progesterone and estrogen dropping dramatically, hopefully she will just push on through it without serious complications.

Congrats on getting so many eggs though. I know it's hard to focus on that right now.
Last edited by biogal on March 28th, 2012, 7:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: November 27th, 2011, 4:22 pm

March 28th, 2012, 7:20 pm #4

Nobody at our clinic mentioned purchasing an insurance policy for the donor, so it never occurred to me. Frustrating! I don't know why I never thought about it... now, of course, it makes so much sense. Hindsight and all that...

Anyway, yes, her retrieval was on Saturday and she is so far being monitored as an outpatient. I feel fairly confident that will remain the case. She is very bloated and pretty miserable, but is still urinating, which is good. She's just having a lot of trouble drinking Gatorade or eating salty food because she feels so full already!

That's very interesting information regarding the hormones and resolution (or not) of the condition.
Thank you for the reassurance!






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Anonymous
Anonymous

March 28th, 2012, 7:23 pm #5

If she has medical coverage it should cover her and you could pick up co-pays as her friend.
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Joined: July 23rd, 2008, 6:49 am

March 28th, 2012, 7:33 pm #6

They may not have plans of billing her insurance, and may have plans of just billing you. I would call them and ask to speak to them about what they intend to do.

It may be that she is just being followed by telephone and will have a couple of post retrieval blood draws, and therefore there is not much to bill, so they haven't even considered it yet.
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minniet
minniet

March 28th, 2012, 7:40 pm #7

I wrote yesterday about my donor possibly developing OHSS... well it looks like that is, indeed, what's happened. I thought everyone was so careful - based on her high resting follicle count, etc.., we knew this was a potential issue, but my RE did everything she could to prevent it. My donor is being a total trooper and is not angry at us or the RE, but I'm just feeling so badly for her, knowing that this is all a result of donating for us.. I am hoping and praying there are no long-term consequences for her.

On top of that, and I know I shouldn't be thinking of this right now, I'm freaking out about finances. Since we are both teachers and insurance doesn't pay a penny for infertility, we're stretched fairly thin with this. We budgeted enough for at least one fresh and a couple frozen cycles if necessary, but that was without any sort of complication. We were paying for all my donor's appointments, meds, etc.. and I was compensating her for her time off work. MUCH less expensive than going through an agency, but still not cheap.. And now this. I have no idea what it's going to cost to treat her or get her through this or how many more hours of work she'll have to miss, but it's going to be expensive, I'm sure (will her insurance cover this? who normally pays for something like this). As I read this back over, it sounds so selfish and crazy that I'm worried about money when her health is in jeopardy, but that's not what I intend. We will do anything in the world that she needs!

My transfer is tomorrow. Those 22 beautiful, mature eggs that she donated have produced 20 beautiful embryos, but I'm having a lot of trouble focusing on anything positive. I've barely thought of them at all today, in fact, which make me sad. I just need their donor to be ok. I'm not sure why I'm so upset, since I do realize she'll probably be just fine in a few days... maybe it's all the hormones, but I'm in tears right now just typing this.
This is upsetting, but please know that it is all going to work out.

First of all, I truly believe, as other posters have pointed out that this will resolve. Since her hormones are not ramping up to hold a pregnancy, it will settle down. It has not been a week right? It stinks, and it is painful, but she will be ok. I also have lots of friends who had OHSS every cycle and had to wait to transfer their own eggs and have gone on to be fine and have good health and pregnancies.

I am shocked your clinic did not advise you to purchase the insurance rider which costs $400 and would have covered anything her insurance did not -- but do not worry -- her insurance will cover her health. It was her decision to do these treatments, and insurance law has not caught up with DE or surrogacy yet -- they will cover it.

She will be OK, please try to focus on your embies and your transfer.

Is there another friend or family member who can help her? The last thing she would want is for you to be so stressed that your transfer does not go well after all this! Take care of yourself.
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minniet
minniet

March 28th, 2012, 7:40 pm #8

nt
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minniet
minniet

March 28th, 2012, 7:42 pm #9

They may not have plans of billing her insurance, and may have plans of just billing you. I would call them and ask to speak to them about what they intend to do.

It may be that she is just being followed by telephone and will have a couple of post retrieval blood draws, and therefore there is not much to bill, so they haven't even considered it yet.
Excellent point!
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Mrs. m
Mrs. m

March 28th, 2012, 8:01 pm #10

I wrote yesterday about my donor possibly developing OHSS... well it looks like that is, indeed, what's happened. I thought everyone was so careful - based on her high resting follicle count, etc.., we knew this was a potential issue, but my RE did everything she could to prevent it. My donor is being a total trooper and is not angry at us or the RE, but I'm just feeling so badly for her, knowing that this is all a result of donating for us.. I am hoping and praying there are no long-term consequences for her.

On top of that, and I know I shouldn't be thinking of this right now, I'm freaking out about finances. Since we are both teachers and insurance doesn't pay a penny for infertility, we're stretched fairly thin with this. We budgeted enough for at least one fresh and a couple frozen cycles if necessary, but that was without any sort of complication. We were paying for all my donor's appointments, meds, etc.. and I was compensating her for her time off work. MUCH less expensive than going through an agency, but still not cheap.. And now this. I have no idea what it's going to cost to treat her or get her through this or how many more hours of work she'll have to miss, but it's going to be expensive, I'm sure (will her insurance cover this? who normally pays for something like this). As I read this back over, it sounds so selfish and crazy that I'm worried about money when her health is in jeopardy, but that's not what I intend. We will do anything in the world that she needs!

My transfer is tomorrow. Those 22 beautiful, mature eggs that she donated have produced 20 beautiful embryos, but I'm having a lot of trouble focusing on anything positive. I've barely thought of them at all today, in fact, which make me sad. I just need their donor to be ok. I'm not sure why I'm so upset, since I do realize she'll probably be just fine in a few days... maybe it's all the hormones, but I'm in tears right now just typing this.
Shame on your clinic for not having you purchase the insurance for you donor. I thought it was required with DE. I hope that her insurace will pick it up.
Congrats on that fabulous number of embryos! Good luck tomorrow! I still had five this am but one of them was slowing down so probably only 4 tomorrow.
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