Need help, advice on next steps to take (mc's mentioned)

Need help, advice on next steps to take (mc's mentioned)

Jadu
Jadu

December 22nd, 2010, 3:10 pm #1

Hi everyone,

Some of you may remember me, I have been on a whole bunch of boards for many years(6 years I think) on and off and in the past 3 years have been through hell and back with the culmination of losing my father recently which is a really devastating loss for me especially at this time of year. Without getting into a very long story let me just say that I am ready to really move forward with DE.

However, (and this is a big however), I am really concerned about all my mc's, I have had 5 of them starting at the age of 30. I am now 49 years old and did have a pregnancy a few years ago with my own eggs that resulted in another mc. I have been through every single test in the book and I did see Dr Toth in NYC and got treated for some infections and then I did get prg right after the treatment. That prg did not last past 8 weeks.

I am currently seeing a hormone specialist who thinks I may be hypothyroid. She has done a bunch of tests and still has not determined 100% whether I am. She initially thought I had hashimotos but the tests did not indicate it. She noticed that my thyroid seemed enlarged and also when i had ultrasounds of the thyroid it appeared to be inflamed and there was a nodule. Does anyone on this board have any experience with this type of thing? She has not given me any medication as of yet because I still have yet to do more tests.

Aside from all of this, I really would like to get some guidance as to where to go for DE. I have a limited budget but am open to travel to Italy, South America, India, the Czech republic.

Also I don't have much more than 12K to work with. I also would very much like to find a donor who looks like me and am not sure about which are the clinics who show you photos. Or maybe you just trust them to find someone who looks as close to you as possible?

Thanks to so many of the women here being such inspirations! I have been moved by many the many stories here and am so grateful that we live in a time when women have alternatives such as DE... and also have support groups such as these boards...

all my best
Jadu
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

December 22nd, 2010, 3:38 pm #2

By law. At the clinic I cycled at, you gave them a kind of wish list of the most important characteristics you wanted, and you can give the donor coordinator photos of yourself and your partner, but there are no donor photos, childhood or adult. I think some women here have cycled in Ukraine. Maybe they can tell you whether photos are available there. If you can pad that $12K out with a few thousand more, though, you should be able to get two fresh cycles in the Czech Republic or Ukraine. I think Maya mentioned that you can get photos in South Africa. I'm not sure about Argentina.

I don't have any insight into recurrent miscarriage, but I know there are ladies here who do.

My condolences on your father's passing. I've lost both my parents, and I know it's hard during the holiday season.

Take care,

Maggie (in VA)
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Orchid
Orchid

December 22nd, 2010, 5:59 pm #3

Hi everyone,

Some of you may remember me, I have been on a whole bunch of boards for many years(6 years I think) on and off and in the past 3 years have been through hell and back with the culmination of losing my father recently which is a really devastating loss for me especially at this time of year. Without getting into a very long story let me just say that I am ready to really move forward with DE.

However, (and this is a big however), I am really concerned about all my mc's, I have had 5 of them starting at the age of 30. I am now 49 years old and did have a pregnancy a few years ago with my own eggs that resulted in another mc. I have been through every single test in the book and I did see Dr Toth in NYC and got treated for some infections and then I did get prg right after the treatment. That prg did not last past 8 weeks.

I am currently seeing a hormone specialist who thinks I may be hypothyroid. She has done a bunch of tests and still has not determined 100% whether I am. She initially thought I had hashimotos but the tests did not indicate it. She noticed that my thyroid seemed enlarged and also when i had ultrasounds of the thyroid it appeared to be inflamed and there was a nodule. Does anyone on this board have any experience with this type of thing? She has not given me any medication as of yet because I still have yet to do more tests.

Aside from all of this, I really would like to get some guidance as to where to go for DE. I have a limited budget but am open to travel to Italy, South America, India, the Czech republic.

Also I don't have much more than 12K to work with. I also would very much like to find a donor who looks like me and am not sure about which are the clinics who show you photos. Or maybe you just trust them to find someone who looks as close to you as possible?

Thanks to so many of the women here being such inspirations! I have been moved by many the many stories here and am so grateful that we live in a time when women have alternatives such as DE... and also have support groups such as these boards...

all my best
Jadu
Levothyroxine in small doses MIGHT be helpful if your thyroid is low and you have ATAs. It cannot hurt.

Get your tsh, your T3, T4 checked and then come back here and post the results and maybe someone can help you.

Were all your mc's with your own eggs? This is one issue--if they were with your own eggs it may simply be a problem with your eggs.

So there are a couple of options

(1) Try some cycles with DEs and see how it goes...you are taking a risk if you don't test but then testing may not be the answer for everyone

(2) Go and do a bunch of tests for immunity (and possibly clotting) and work with a doctor who works on that.

I'm a little conflicted about whether to do the full battery of immune/clotting tests. People here really advocate that. It's just hard to know if it is a good idea because people with these issues can have healthy pregnancies and it is not 100% clear the treatments work. And I can't afford them.

My insurance just refused to pay for the few I did.

It's a very fuzzy area. But it could give you peace of mind and that might be worth it for you if you can afford them.

I'm talking to Sher in the next few weeks. There is some place in Chicago--Beers Center. There's something about the way they do things that makes me wary. They just give you this enormous battery of tests. Since many of the treatments are the same, it seems more judicious to counsel and get a few and then see where they lead.

The treatments are somewhat unproven. Some are cheap and some are expensive (LIT? I think it is called? It costs $10,000. Sometimes insurance will pay, sometimes not.)

It is really tormenting me what to do in my own case.

I am far from expert. I think Daisy is the expert on this so ask her maybe?

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worldtraveler
worldtraveler

December 22nd, 2010, 7:29 pm #4

Hi everyone,

Some of you may remember me, I have been on a whole bunch of boards for many years(6 years I think) on and off and in the past 3 years have been through hell and back with the culmination of losing my father recently which is a really devastating loss for me especially at this time of year. Without getting into a very long story let me just say that I am ready to really move forward with DE.

However, (and this is a big however), I am really concerned about all my mc's, I have had 5 of them starting at the age of 30. I am now 49 years old and did have a pregnancy a few years ago with my own eggs that resulted in another mc. I have been through every single test in the book and I did see Dr Toth in NYC and got treated for some infections and then I did get prg right after the treatment. That prg did not last past 8 weeks.

I am currently seeing a hormone specialist who thinks I may be hypothyroid. She has done a bunch of tests and still has not determined 100% whether I am. She initially thought I had hashimotos but the tests did not indicate it. She noticed that my thyroid seemed enlarged and also when i had ultrasounds of the thyroid it appeared to be inflamed and there was a nodule. Does anyone on this board have any experience with this type of thing? She has not given me any medication as of yet because I still have yet to do more tests.

Aside from all of this, I really would like to get some guidance as to where to go for DE. I have a limited budget but am open to travel to Italy, South America, India, the Czech republic.

Also I don't have much more than 12K to work with. I also would very much like to find a donor who looks like me and am not sure about which are the clinics who show you photos. Or maybe you just trust them to find someone who looks as close to you as possible?

Thanks to so many of the women here being such inspirations! I have been moved by many the many stories here and am so grateful that we live in a time when women have alternatives such as DE... and also have support groups such as these boards...

all my best
Jadu
I am paying about $7000 for my DE cycle in Colombia but the egg donor is anonymous and picked by my doctor from their list of regular donors. According to the doctor, most of their donors are nurses, administrative assistants and medical students from the hospital. They follow the AMA screening (including medical history, bloodwork, psychological evaluation, etc.) for all donors and try to find someone who matches your phenotype (general appearance).

Good luck with your cycle.

Rachel
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Hope2009
Hope2009

December 22nd, 2010, 9:42 pm #5

Hi everyone,

Some of you may remember me, I have been on a whole bunch of boards for many years(6 years I think) on and off and in the past 3 years have been through hell and back with the culmination of losing my father recently which is a really devastating loss for me especially at this time of year. Without getting into a very long story let me just say that I am ready to really move forward with DE.

However, (and this is a big however), I am really concerned about all my mc's, I have had 5 of them starting at the age of 30. I am now 49 years old and did have a pregnancy a few years ago with my own eggs that resulted in another mc. I have been through every single test in the book and I did see Dr Toth in NYC and got treated for some infections and then I did get prg right after the treatment. That prg did not last past 8 weeks.

I am currently seeing a hormone specialist who thinks I may be hypothyroid. She has done a bunch of tests and still has not determined 100% whether I am. She initially thought I had hashimotos but the tests did not indicate it. She noticed that my thyroid seemed enlarged and also when i had ultrasounds of the thyroid it appeared to be inflamed and there was a nodule. Does anyone on this board have any experience with this type of thing? She has not given me any medication as of yet because I still have yet to do more tests.

Aside from all of this, I really would like to get some guidance as to where to go for DE. I have a limited budget but am open to travel to Italy, South America, India, the Czech republic.

Also I don't have much more than 12K to work with. I also would very much like to find a donor who looks like me and am not sure about which are the clinics who show you photos. Or maybe you just trust them to find someone who looks as close to you as possible?

Thanks to so many of the women here being such inspirations! I have been moved by many the many stories here and am so grateful that we live in a time when women have alternatives such as DE... and also have support groups such as these boards...

all my best
Jadu
I so remember you and all you have endured over the years. I have often wondered how you are and if you were able to finally get pg with a keeper...if you are with your partner and if you are still riding horses.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your father's passing...this must have been a difficult year for you...but if I remember what a warrior you are I'm sure you are moving forward and learning wise lessons along the way.

It's so exciting that you are planning to move forward with DE's..and while the m/c's can be a concern usually using younger eggs is the key to success although it isn't always as quick and easy as many think...it can take a few tries before bringing your baby home so it's good that you are looking into all aspects of your health.

I don't know if you remember me as well I as I do you...we were on the ttc over 40 board...with Pat for years and I FINALLy did get pg with my oe's and had our DD Grace at 43..and although I did have another pg that lasted until 8 wks when I was 45...other than chemical m/c's I never had another oe baby. We decided to move forward with DE's when I had my last chemical at 47...too much pain and struggle.

I CAN'T really help you with clinic advise etc as I'm in Canada where I had to find my own donor and I worked with a clinic on the West Coast...our whole cost was around 20,000 Canadian as I think we reimbursed our donor well for her expenses...it's illegal to pay for time and effort etc in our country but we did give our donor a gift.

Since i FOUND her myself I was able to make sure that we shared the same features, we have the same build, colouring and even share the same philosophy...she felt that there was a soul waiting to come through and she wanted to help...we both loved yoga and she was really into sustainable living etc ...a loving and generous person...I kind of felt at times...she too that our soulbaby brought us together.

So if you are going down this road...a lot of trust that things will all fall into place is a good thing to acquire...letting go and trusting was my mantra.

Our first fresh cycle failed...another chemical despite my lining and the embryos..blasts being of the highest quality. After that my Dr. ran some blood tests and found that I tested positive for a blood clotting disorder called factor V leiden..inheritated by one parent...and so he put me on heparin for my next FET cycle and it was successful.

We have an 18 month old be(autiful boy, Will, (where there is a will there is a way)..and this past fall we did another FET and I still can't believe that we are expecting twins in June....so in the course of 2 years we have 3 babies....once you move forward it can happen this fast.

All total...it has cost 25,000 dollars but I have heard that going overseas is a lot less money...just not something we could have done since we have other children who need us at home...as it was we had to travel a day to our clinic but really nothing compared to going to the Czech republic..etc...some women have gone to South Africa with great success too.

Also, have you thought of adopting someone's embryos...I have heard that this is a lot less expensive and you can stay in the states...do a search and I'm sure you will find lots of posts on where to go. Does your partner have any SA issues/...i remember that he was smoking and that was your concern. using embryos can get around this...so much to consider hey?

Finally I just wanted to invite you over to the over 50 ttc, pg and parenting board...link above...you are so close to that number and the women there are fabulous...there are two of us pg with twins and we are all on a bit of a roll...it's nice to know that the age of our bodies isn't affected the ability to get pg...in so many cases it's just the eggs...hope to see you over there.

Well I'LL close..I just wantt to wish you a peaceful holiday...and a very happy NEW YEAR..I HOPE all your dreams will finally come true in 2011...has a nice ring to it don't you think?

bLESSings from your old novella writing board bud, Hope (Debrarey)
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Joined: August 31st, 2007, 6:24 pm

December 22nd, 2010, 10:08 pm #6

By law. At the clinic I cycled at, you gave them a kind of wish list of the most important characteristics you wanted, and you can give the donor coordinator photos of yourself and your partner, but there are no donor photos, childhood or adult. I think some women here have cycled in Ukraine. Maybe they can tell you whether photos are available there. If you can pad that $12K out with a few thousand more, though, you should be able to get two fresh cycles in the Czech Republic or Ukraine. I think Maya mentioned that you can get photos in South Africa. I'm not sure about Argentina.

I don't have any insight into recurrent miscarriage, but I know there are ladies here who do.

My condolences on your father's passing. I've lost both my parents, and I know it's hard during the holiday season.

Take care,

Maggie (in VA)
I am looking into every option and weighing the pros and cons of each situation. So far Zlin, South Africa and Russia sound good to me. I am going to have to try to get all my bases covered though and make sure my health is as good as it can be..

thanks again
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Joined: August 31st, 2007, 6:24 pm

December 22nd, 2010, 10:35 pm #7

Levothyroxine in small doses MIGHT be helpful if your thyroid is low and you have ATAs. It cannot hurt.

Get your tsh, your T3, T4 checked and then come back here and post the results and maybe someone can help you.

Were all your mc's with your own eggs? This is one issue--if they were with your own eggs it may simply be a problem with your eggs.

So there are a couple of options

(1) Try some cycles with DEs and see how it goes...you are taking a risk if you don't test but then testing may not be the answer for everyone

(2) Go and do a bunch of tests for immunity (and possibly clotting) and work with a doctor who works on that.

I'm a little conflicted about whether to do the full battery of immune/clotting tests. People here really advocate that. It's just hard to know if it is a good idea because people with these issues can have healthy pregnancies and it is not 100% clear the treatments work. And I can't afford them.

My insurance just refused to pay for the few I did.

It's a very fuzzy area. But it could give you peace of mind and that might be worth it for you if you can afford them.

I'm talking to Sher in the next few weeks. There is some place in Chicago--Beers Center. There's something about the way they do things that makes me wary. They just give you this enormous battery of tests. Since many of the treatments are the same, it seems more judicious to counsel and get a few and then see where they lead.

The treatments are somewhat unproven. Some are cheap and some are expensive (LIT? I think it is called? It costs $10,000. Sometimes insurance will pay, sometimes not.)

It is really tormenting me what to do in my own case.

I am far from expert. I think Daisy is the expert on this so ask her maybe?
I did get a battery of tests. I am not sure what was tested I have to check my blood work paperwork and I will post the results.

the testing is really confusing. I did every test in the book when I had the earlier mcs but nothing came up. I do think that some of us are borderline and so the tests don't necessarily show anything. I for one am a huge believer in taking lovenox and steroids as I think it cannot hurt. I am going to take those two the next time I am prg i can tell you that. I don't care what the doctors say.

the whole issue is just so complicated. I wish it weren't so. I am so sad that some of us have to go through so much just to become mothers.
but i have learned a lot of grace from the women on these boards. so many amazing women...

all my best
Jadu
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Joined: August 31st, 2007, 6:24 pm

December 22nd, 2010, 10:36 pm #8

I am paying about $7000 for my DE cycle in Colombia but the egg donor is anonymous and picked by my doctor from their list of regular donors. According to the doctor, most of their donors are nurses, administrative assistants and medical students from the hospital. They follow the AMA screening (including medical history, bloodwork, psychological evaluation, etc.) for all donors and try to find someone who matches your phenotype (general appearance).

Good luck with your cycle.

Rachel
I so appreciate you sharing. This is a good price it seems.
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Joined: August 31st, 2007, 6:24 pm

December 22nd, 2010, 10:42 pm #9

I so remember you and all you have endured over the years. I have often wondered how you are and if you were able to finally get pg with a keeper...if you are with your partner and if you are still riding horses.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your father's passing...this must have been a difficult year for you...but if I remember what a warrior you are I'm sure you are moving forward and learning wise lessons along the way.

It's so exciting that you are planning to move forward with DE's..and while the m/c's can be a concern usually using younger eggs is the key to success although it isn't always as quick and easy as many think...it can take a few tries before bringing your baby home so it's good that you are looking into all aspects of your health.

I don't know if you remember me as well I as I do you...we were on the ttc over 40 board...with Pat for years and I FINALLy did get pg with my oe's and had our DD Grace at 43..and although I did have another pg that lasted until 8 wks when I was 45...other than chemical m/c's I never had another oe baby. We decided to move forward with DE's when I had my last chemical at 47...too much pain and struggle.

I CAN'T really help you with clinic advise etc as I'm in Canada where I had to find my own donor and I worked with a clinic on the West Coast...our whole cost was around 20,000 Canadian as I think we reimbursed our donor well for her expenses...it's illegal to pay for time and effort etc in our country but we did give our donor a gift.

Since i FOUND her myself I was able to make sure that we shared the same features, we have the same build, colouring and even share the same philosophy...she felt that there was a soul waiting to come through and she wanted to help...we both loved yoga and she was really into sustainable living etc ...a loving and generous person...I kind of felt at times...she too that our soulbaby brought us together.

So if you are going down this road...a lot of trust that things will all fall into place is a good thing to acquire...letting go and trusting was my mantra.

Our first fresh cycle failed...another chemical despite my lining and the embryos..blasts being of the highest quality. After that my Dr. ran some blood tests and found that I tested positive for a blood clotting disorder called factor V leiden..inheritated by one parent...and so he put me on heparin for my next FET cycle and it was successful.

We have an 18 month old be(autiful boy, Will, (where there is a will there is a way)..and this past fall we did another FET and I still can't believe that we are expecting twins in June....so in the course of 2 years we have 3 babies....once you move forward it can happen this fast.

All total...it has cost 25,000 dollars but I have heard that going overseas is a lot less money...just not something we could have done since we have other children who need us at home...as it was we had to travel a day to our clinic but really nothing compared to going to the Czech republic..etc...some women have gone to South Africa with great success too.

Also, have you thought of adopting someone's embryos...I have heard that this is a lot less expensive and you can stay in the states...do a search and I'm sure you will find lots of posts on where to go. Does your partner have any SA issues/...i remember that he was smoking and that was your concern. using embryos can get around this...so much to consider hey?

Finally I just wanted to invite you over to the over 50 ttc, pg and parenting board...link above...you are so close to that number and the women there are fabulous...there are two of us pg with twins and we are all on a bit of a roll...it's nice to know that the age of our bodies isn't affected the ability to get pg...in so many cases it's just the eggs...hope to see you over there.

Well I'LL close..I just wantt to wish you a peaceful holiday...and a very happy NEW YEAR..I HOPE all your dreams will finally come true in 2011...has a nice ring to it don't you think?

bLESSings from your old novella writing board bud, Hope (Debrarey)
My dear friend!
OF COURSE i remember you, who can forget you? You are one amazing woman! And talk about warriors!!! I just love your story. how cool is that? How GREAT you are pregnant with twins!!! congratulations!!! you must be over the moon!!

I have to say I would love to know my donor and have a relationship such as you described. I wish my niece were old enough (she is 18 years old) to donate as she is the spitting image of me and I love her to pieces. she is also the most mature young woman I know. However from what I understand she is too young. Isn't it true that donors have to be over a certain age?

25k is a lot for me. I wish i had unlimited funds but I don't. However the way you did it sounds really great.

I just have to trust that the right way will unfold. I am just really concerned about making sure that my body is completely ready and capable of carrying a pregnancy and receiving a precious embryo.

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Orchid
Orchid

December 23rd, 2010, 3:19 am #10

I did get a battery of tests. I am not sure what was tested I have to check my blood work paperwork and I will post the results.

the testing is really confusing. I did every test in the book when I had the earlier mcs but nothing came up. I do think that some of us are borderline and so the tests don't necessarily show anything. I for one am a huge believer in taking lovenox and steroids as I think it cannot hurt. I am going to take those two the next time I am prg i can tell you that. I don't care what the doctors say.

the whole issue is just so complicated. I wish it weren't so. I am so sad that some of us have to go through so much just to become mothers.
but i have learned a lot of grace from the women on these boards. so many amazing women...

all my best
Jadu
I think there are very different schools of thought. We are inclined to be so worried that we want to try everything. They are thinking there isn't data and that these are strong medicines that can cause complications.

I am very torn, myself...It feels like every place that is gung-ho in treating any trace of immunity is also a place that is making lots of money doing this.

But then I'm desperate. This is one of the hardest things for me so far--just trying to know how far to go.
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