I have known I'd need IVF for 15 years, now 30 yrs old. My sister has been trying to get pregnant and after some trouble concieving for a few years they have managed it naturally. She has just called to tell me. At frist I felt really excited then as she started telling me about her symptoms etc I started to get tearful (hid this from her)as everything she is describing is what I would like to feel. To top it off, she will be due the same month as we have our IVF next year. It will be great if the IVF works out, but if it fails, I just know its going to be so emotional welcoming her new baby while carrying that awful feeling of loss a failed cycle brings. My husband is away working for the first 5 months of the year so I am going to be on my own hearing all the news of the pregnancy (which dont get me wrong I want to hear, but I just know its going to be so hard) and I am worried about how I will cope.
She was telling me how my mum reacted and I soo wish to giev my mum that reaction too.
I am so happy for her, but I guess just feeling selfish about wishing it was me too. Its hard enough when its girls from work walking proudly around with their bumps.
Has anyone had this experience too? Please tell me how you copes/dealt with it. Should I tell my sister im going to find it difficult or keep quiet? I don't want to ruin her telling me everything like sisters should but Im also worrying about blubbering on her!
Any advice appreciated x
was she sensitive to it all, or was she just gushing? i think half the battle is having sympathetic friends or family members.
my best friend of 25+ years and i struggled through infertility together. she got pregnant with twins a good year before i did. it was really, really difficult for me because of course i didn't know if i would ever succeed. i spoke to her almost every day of her pregnancy and she was very sensitive to not gush or carry on too much, especially if i was having a bad day. in return, if i was having a good day or feeling positive, i would say, "ok, it's a good day, give me all the pregnancy talk you've got!" i think she really appreciated it. i didn't want to lose her as a friend during the most important time of her life. well, losing her wasn't an option. we are eachother's life lines. i got pregnant 6 months after her babies were born. i went to visit when they were just 10 days old. that was hard too but i sucked it up because this is one of the most important relationships of my life.
so i think if you are just honest with your sister, and she is sensitive to your needs, you will get through it just fine. and you will have your day. you are nice and young and i'm sure you will have success. good luck to you. i'm sorry this is so hard, but it will pay off later when you have your baby and your relationship with your sister is stronger than ever! at least, that's my hope for you!