Meant to be? Or not...?

Meant to be? Or not...?

Calm
Calm

February 22nd, 2011, 4:40 pm #1

So, scheduled follow up meeting with RE on 3/3 for DH and I to talk about things that could have gone wrong. But in talking to the coordinator, it seems they will likely remove the donor from their list as they believe it was simply poor response and likely egg related.

So...as you all know (if you are kind enough to read my posts), we landed on donor 3. Donor 1 had poor response on previous cycle and we moved to donor 2 - who quite frankly was always speaking to me and was only Donor 2 because she had blonde hair (to my brown). My DH always says I have a "big heart" and Donor 2 used those exact words to describe herself. She LOVES to read (as do I) and cycle (as does DH - 30 miles a day). Those are soft things...but combined with good medical background, it was a good package. When we learned that she could not cycle til June, I was devastated...she had 2 proven pregnancies (although 2nd one mc at 11 weeks). Health history was great, she was a beautiful baby - although maybe not perfect look match for me (who cares though if we are in the "tell" camp). I was just too excited to do DE I would not wait. o we landed on Donor 3 who wasn't proven and never felt 100% right (although wonderful genetics and matching looks to me).

Well, whatever Donor 3's issue was with cycling before June...it is now gone and she is available! My heart skipped a beat...seemed like it was meant to be. There was a BIG BUT. But, her FSH all of a sudden following last cycle tested at 10. Clinic doesn't like that...and will retest (I guess it can be impacted by cycling)...and I know from reading these boards that would be nuts for us to cycle with someone with an FSH of 10. However...are there other things that outweigh that?

Quite frankly, I know we shouldn't even be talking about this for a while since I am so raw. Planning the next cycle we all know helps push off the grieving of the one you just passed...I know it and still am doing it - lol (fun fact - I was a therapist in a past career -- I should know better!). There are no other donors at my clinic that I am in love with and I simply can't imagine (financially, emotionally, organizationally) switching to a far away clinic or agency at this time.
Seeing if she could work is part of determining what we do next.

So...wise women. What specifically do we ask the RE about Donor #3 to understand how that FSH level plays given her 2 BFPs on past 2 cycles (with SET)? I have a gut feeling that we will cycle with Donor 3 or not at all...and it will be our last try. Just sort of how it is feeling right now. Crazy?

Calm (doing better with each new day...thanks all)
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Joined: December 8th, 2006, 11:41 pm

February 22nd, 2011, 5:42 pm #2

On the one hand an FSH of 10 is not what anyone would wish to hear, as many of us here are high fsh'ers we know this only too well. Yet, on the other hand, if she is young, then the FSH doesn't matter quite as much as we may immediately feel obliged to think. Sure the number of eggs retrieved may be less overall if she doesn't stim as well as someone with low fsh, but the quality should still be good if she is young.

I'm not sure that your emotional gut feelings towards her are as important as the objective facts so I would certainly wait to see what the fsh test comes back at when re-tested. Also, if she has just done a cycle recently, what was the outcome of that one in terms of number of embryo's and quality. If it was good, then surely things can't change so much in just a couple of months? If it was not good, then you have something else to factor into your decision.

Having said that, if you truly believe that if you don't cycle with her then you won't cycle at all, then I would definitely give yourself that chance with her. Or you will always wonder 'what if?'

Sending you another hug Calm.

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Leigh888
Leigh888

February 22nd, 2011, 5:58 pm #3

So, scheduled follow up meeting with RE on 3/3 for DH and I to talk about things that could have gone wrong. But in talking to the coordinator, it seems they will likely remove the donor from their list as they believe it was simply poor response and likely egg related.

So...as you all know (if you are kind enough to read my posts), we landed on donor 3. Donor 1 had poor response on previous cycle and we moved to donor 2 - who quite frankly was always speaking to me and was only Donor 2 because she had blonde hair (to my brown). My DH always says I have a "big heart" and Donor 2 used those exact words to describe herself. She LOVES to read (as do I) and cycle (as does DH - 30 miles a day). Those are soft things...but combined with good medical background, it was a good package. When we learned that she could not cycle til June, I was devastated...she had 2 proven pregnancies (although 2nd one mc at 11 weeks). Health history was great, she was a beautiful baby - although maybe not perfect look match for me (who cares though if we are in the "tell" camp). I was just too excited to do DE I would not wait. o we landed on Donor 3 who wasn't proven and never felt 100% right (although wonderful genetics and matching looks to me).

Well, whatever Donor 3's issue was with cycling before June...it is now gone and she is available! My heart skipped a beat...seemed like it was meant to be. There was a BIG BUT. But, her FSH all of a sudden following last cycle tested at 10. Clinic doesn't like that...and will retest (I guess it can be impacted by cycling)...and I know from reading these boards that would be nuts for us to cycle with someone with an FSH of 10. However...are there other things that outweigh that?

Quite frankly, I know we shouldn't even be talking about this for a while since I am so raw. Planning the next cycle we all know helps push off the grieving of the one you just passed...I know it and still am doing it - lol (fun fact - I was a therapist in a past career -- I should know better!). There are no other donors at my clinic that I am in love with and I simply can't imagine (financially, emotionally, organizationally) switching to a far away clinic or agency at this time.
Seeing if she could work is part of determining what we do next.

So...wise women. What specifically do we ask the RE about Donor #3 to understand how that FSH level plays given her 2 BFPs on past 2 cycles (with SET)? I have a gut feeling that we will cycle with Donor 3 or not at all...and it will be our last try. Just sort of how it is feeling right now. Crazy?

Calm (doing better with each new day...thanks all)
From the other two cycles, how many eggs were retrieved, how many fertilized, and how many were frozen? I think that would be very helpful information to have in making your decision.
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Joined: July 23rd, 2008, 6:49 am

February 22nd, 2011, 6:04 pm #4

So, scheduled follow up meeting with RE on 3/3 for DH and I to talk about things that could have gone wrong. But in talking to the coordinator, it seems they will likely remove the donor from their list as they believe it was simply poor response and likely egg related.

So...as you all know (if you are kind enough to read my posts), we landed on donor 3. Donor 1 had poor response on previous cycle and we moved to donor 2 - who quite frankly was always speaking to me and was only Donor 2 because she had blonde hair (to my brown). My DH always says I have a "big heart" and Donor 2 used those exact words to describe herself. She LOVES to read (as do I) and cycle (as does DH - 30 miles a day). Those are soft things...but combined with good medical background, it was a good package. When we learned that she could not cycle til June, I was devastated...she had 2 proven pregnancies (although 2nd one mc at 11 weeks). Health history was great, she was a beautiful baby - although maybe not perfect look match for me (who cares though if we are in the "tell" camp). I was just too excited to do DE I would not wait. o we landed on Donor 3 who wasn't proven and never felt 100% right (although wonderful genetics and matching looks to me).

Well, whatever Donor 3's issue was with cycling before June...it is now gone and she is available! My heart skipped a beat...seemed like it was meant to be. There was a BIG BUT. But, her FSH all of a sudden following last cycle tested at 10. Clinic doesn't like that...and will retest (I guess it can be impacted by cycling)...and I know from reading these boards that would be nuts for us to cycle with someone with an FSH of 10. However...are there other things that outweigh that?

Quite frankly, I know we shouldn't even be talking about this for a while since I am so raw. Planning the next cycle we all know helps push off the grieving of the one you just passed...I know it and still am doing it - lol (fun fact - I was a therapist in a past career -- I should know better!). There are no other donors at my clinic that I am in love with and I simply can't imagine (financially, emotionally, organizationally) switching to a far away clinic or agency at this time.
Seeing if she could work is part of determining what we do next.

So...wise women. What specifically do we ask the RE about Donor #3 to understand how that FSH level plays given her 2 BFPs on past 2 cycles (with SET)? I have a gut feeling that we will cycle with Donor 3 or not at all...and it will be our last try. Just sort of how it is feeling right now. Crazy?

Calm (doing better with each new day...thanks all)
Did you mix up Donor 2 and 3? Aren't you really talking about Donor 2 with the high FSH? Cause I thought Donor 3 you are not too crazy about. ?

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Calm
Calm

February 22nd, 2011, 6:43 pm #5

So, scheduled follow up meeting with RE on 3/3 for DH and I to talk about things that could have gone wrong. But in talking to the coordinator, it seems they will likely remove the donor from their list as they believe it was simply poor response and likely egg related.

So...as you all know (if you are kind enough to read my posts), we landed on donor 3. Donor 1 had poor response on previous cycle and we moved to donor 2 - who quite frankly was always speaking to me and was only Donor 2 because she had blonde hair (to my brown). My DH always says I have a "big heart" and Donor 2 used those exact words to describe herself. She LOVES to read (as do I) and cycle (as does DH - 30 miles a day). Those are soft things...but combined with good medical background, it was a good package. When we learned that she could not cycle til June, I was devastated...she had 2 proven pregnancies (although 2nd one mc at 11 weeks). Health history was great, she was a beautiful baby - although maybe not perfect look match for me (who cares though if we are in the "tell" camp). I was just too excited to do DE I would not wait. o we landed on Donor 3 who wasn't proven and never felt 100% right (although wonderful genetics and matching looks to me).

Well, whatever Donor 3's issue was with cycling before June...it is now gone and she is available! My heart skipped a beat...seemed like it was meant to be. There was a BIG BUT. But, her FSH all of a sudden following last cycle tested at 10. Clinic doesn't like that...and will retest (I guess it can be impacted by cycling)...and I know from reading these boards that would be nuts for us to cycle with someone with an FSH of 10. However...are there other things that outweigh that?

Quite frankly, I know we shouldn't even be talking about this for a while since I am so raw. Planning the next cycle we all know helps push off the grieving of the one you just passed...I know it and still am doing it - lol (fun fact - I was a therapist in a past career -- I should know better!). There are no other donors at my clinic that I am in love with and I simply can't imagine (financially, emotionally, organizationally) switching to a far away clinic or agency at this time.
Seeing if she could work is part of determining what we do next.

So...wise women. What specifically do we ask the RE about Donor #3 to understand how that FSH level plays given her 2 BFPs on past 2 cycles (with SET)? I have a gut feeling that we will cycle with Donor 3 or not at all...and it will be our last try. Just sort of how it is feeling right now. Crazy?

Calm (doing better with each new day...thanks all)
...at the end there...sorry, typo. Thanks for pointing that out!

And, yes, those are all good questions to ask regarding her last cycles. What about AFC? I don't know much about that - some rely more on that? True?
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Calm
Calm

February 22nd, 2011, 6:45 pm #6

I wrote Donor 3 a lot...meaning Donor 2. Bottom line...the one we couldn't have Donor 2 - is now available and the one that I connect with...with poor FSH. Sorry all...rushing and all over the place! Calm
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Kacee
Kacee

February 22nd, 2011, 9:21 pm #7

So, scheduled follow up meeting with RE on 3/3 for DH and I to talk about things that could have gone wrong. But in talking to the coordinator, it seems they will likely remove the donor from their list as they believe it was simply poor response and likely egg related.

So...as you all know (if you are kind enough to read my posts), we landed on donor 3. Donor 1 had poor response on previous cycle and we moved to donor 2 - who quite frankly was always speaking to me and was only Donor 2 because she had blonde hair (to my brown). My DH always says I have a "big heart" and Donor 2 used those exact words to describe herself. She LOVES to read (as do I) and cycle (as does DH - 30 miles a day). Those are soft things...but combined with good medical background, it was a good package. When we learned that she could not cycle til June, I was devastated...she had 2 proven pregnancies (although 2nd one mc at 11 weeks). Health history was great, she was a beautiful baby - although maybe not perfect look match for me (who cares though if we are in the "tell" camp). I was just too excited to do DE I would not wait. o we landed on Donor 3 who wasn't proven and never felt 100% right (although wonderful genetics and matching looks to me).

Well, whatever Donor 3's issue was with cycling before June...it is now gone and she is available! My heart skipped a beat...seemed like it was meant to be. There was a BIG BUT. But, her FSH all of a sudden following last cycle tested at 10. Clinic doesn't like that...and will retest (I guess it can be impacted by cycling)...and I know from reading these boards that would be nuts for us to cycle with someone with an FSH of 10. However...are there other things that outweigh that?

Quite frankly, I know we shouldn't even be talking about this for a while since I am so raw. Planning the next cycle we all know helps push off the grieving of the one you just passed...I know it and still am doing it - lol (fun fact - I was a therapist in a past career -- I should know better!). There are no other donors at my clinic that I am in love with and I simply can't imagine (financially, emotionally, organizationally) switching to a far away clinic or agency at this time.
Seeing if she could work is part of determining what we do next.

So...wise women. What specifically do we ask the RE about Donor #3 to understand how that FSH level plays given her 2 BFPs on past 2 cycles (with SET)? I have a gut feeling that we will cycle with Donor 3 or not at all...and it will be our last try. Just sort of how it is feeling right now. Crazy?

Calm (doing better with each new day...thanks all)
donor was no longer available and two others fell through, I went with an unproven, close to 33 year old. l liked her. I had her FSH and E2 tested, along with resting follicle count. Her FSH was 10, but she had a good resting follicle count and E2. We went ahead with her and we got 24 mature eggs, it was a shared cycle, so we each got half. Both the other recipient and myself were successful and we each have 7 frozen. So...you never know. FSH is just part of the story. What was her E2 on that day and resting follicle count and then add under 35 to that.
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CatMama75
CatMama75

February 22nd, 2011, 9:30 pm #8

So, scheduled follow up meeting with RE on 3/3 for DH and I to talk about things that could have gone wrong. But in talking to the coordinator, it seems they will likely remove the donor from their list as they believe it was simply poor response and likely egg related.

So...as you all know (if you are kind enough to read my posts), we landed on donor 3. Donor 1 had poor response on previous cycle and we moved to donor 2 - who quite frankly was always speaking to me and was only Donor 2 because she had blonde hair (to my brown). My DH always says I have a "big heart" and Donor 2 used those exact words to describe herself. She LOVES to read (as do I) and cycle (as does DH - 30 miles a day). Those are soft things...but combined with good medical background, it was a good package. When we learned that she could not cycle til June, I was devastated...she had 2 proven pregnancies (although 2nd one mc at 11 weeks). Health history was great, she was a beautiful baby - although maybe not perfect look match for me (who cares though if we are in the "tell" camp). I was just too excited to do DE I would not wait. o we landed on Donor 3 who wasn't proven and never felt 100% right (although wonderful genetics and matching looks to me).

Well, whatever Donor 3's issue was with cycling before June...it is now gone and she is available! My heart skipped a beat...seemed like it was meant to be. There was a BIG BUT. But, her FSH all of a sudden following last cycle tested at 10. Clinic doesn't like that...and will retest (I guess it can be impacted by cycling)...and I know from reading these boards that would be nuts for us to cycle with someone with an FSH of 10. However...are there other things that outweigh that?

Quite frankly, I know we shouldn't even be talking about this for a while since I am so raw. Planning the next cycle we all know helps push off the grieving of the one you just passed...I know it and still am doing it - lol (fun fact - I was a therapist in a past career -- I should know better!). There are no other donors at my clinic that I am in love with and I simply can't imagine (financially, emotionally, organizationally) switching to a far away clinic or agency at this time.
Seeing if she could work is part of determining what we do next.

So...wise women. What specifically do we ask the RE about Donor #3 to understand how that FSH level plays given her 2 BFPs on past 2 cycles (with SET)? I have a gut feeling that we will cycle with Donor 3 or not at all...and it will be our last try. Just sort of how it is feeling right now. Crazy?

Calm (doing better with each new day...thanks all)
had an FSH of 6-something, which I was nervous about. I know 6 is less than 10, but I was told the donor's past performance was more reliable than her FSH test. I ended up with twins and four frozen embies. I agree with the questions an earlier poster proposed for the RE. But in the end, I think a past performance trumps a test result. Hope this helps.




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Calm
Calm

February 23rd, 2011, 5:21 pm #9

So, scheduled follow up meeting with RE on 3/3 for DH and I to talk about things that could have gone wrong. But in talking to the coordinator, it seems they will likely remove the donor from their list as they believe it was simply poor response and likely egg related.

So...as you all know (if you are kind enough to read my posts), we landed on donor 3. Donor 1 had poor response on previous cycle and we moved to donor 2 - who quite frankly was always speaking to me and was only Donor 2 because she had blonde hair (to my brown). My DH always says I have a "big heart" and Donor 2 used those exact words to describe herself. She LOVES to read (as do I) and cycle (as does DH - 30 miles a day). Those are soft things...but combined with good medical background, it was a good package. When we learned that she could not cycle til June, I was devastated...she had 2 proven pregnancies (although 2nd one mc at 11 weeks). Health history was great, she was a beautiful baby - although maybe not perfect look match for me (who cares though if we are in the "tell" camp). I was just too excited to do DE I would not wait. o we landed on Donor 3 who wasn't proven and never felt 100% right (although wonderful genetics and matching looks to me).

Well, whatever Donor 3's issue was with cycling before June...it is now gone and she is available! My heart skipped a beat...seemed like it was meant to be. There was a BIG BUT. But, her FSH all of a sudden following last cycle tested at 10. Clinic doesn't like that...and will retest (I guess it can be impacted by cycling)...and I know from reading these boards that would be nuts for us to cycle with someone with an FSH of 10. However...are there other things that outweigh that?

Quite frankly, I know we shouldn't even be talking about this for a while since I am so raw. Planning the next cycle we all know helps push off the grieving of the one you just passed...I know it and still am doing it - lol (fun fact - I was a therapist in a past career -- I should know better!). There are no other donors at my clinic that I am in love with and I simply can't imagine (financially, emotionally, organizationally) switching to a far away clinic or agency at this time.
Seeing if she could work is part of determining what we do next.

So...wise women. What specifically do we ask the RE about Donor #3 to understand how that FSH level plays given her 2 BFPs on past 2 cycles (with SET)? I have a gut feeling that we will cycle with Donor 3 or not at all...and it will be our last try. Just sort of how it is feeling right now. Crazy?

Calm (doing better with each new day...thanks all)
Talked with RE office:

Donor #2

- Cycle 1: 12 retrieved; 12 fertilized; SET and 5 to freeze on Day 5 = BFP
- Cycle 2: 12 retrieved; 9 mature; 8 fertilized; 5 made it to Blast-2 transferred none frozen = BFP (singleton - m/c at 8 weeks)

Her 10.2 FSH was measured between cycles. Otherwise it has been 5.9/2.5/3.4/6.0 at different points. Her AFC has been 8/5; 8/8; 7/6 and 5/5 - also lower end at times. REs office knows this donor is low/borderline is a few areas but she has produced results. She is 26. Need to see remeasured FSH and talk further with RE about what's happening with her.

Two other donors may be available that are less physical matches for us and are cycling now (so could be "known" to us if we wait a bit). Not sure that matters as much to me anymore...the physical match part. And those donors would only have 1 cycle of history...who is to say their 2nd would be the same, etc. More to follow
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