Just read this story, re: British actor/wife using DE and their ongoing relationship

Just read this story, re: British actor/wife using DE and their ongoing relationship

Joined: September 20th, 2006, 1:47 pm

June 23rd, 2012, 2:08 pm #1

Wonder what everyone thinks?

HEre's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... amily.html

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Joined: May 10th, 2011, 11:57 pm

June 23rd, 2012, 2:34 pm #2

I know it's not the main point of the article (and I need to ponder that further), but I find it odd that Kate seemed surprised to find herself infertile at 44. I don't think you have to be "peri-menopausal" to have old eggs.

Thanks for posting, GIMB. I'm sure there will be lots of comments!



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Joined: April 10th, 2008, 1:25 am

June 23rd, 2012, 2:35 pm #3

Wonder what everyone thinks?

HEre's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... amily.html

Its all lovely, but I know me. I have a jealous streak and I would be uncomfortable with my children forming that kind of attachment and she being such an active part in our lives. I believe at some time during the children's lifetime the lines will be blurred and they may lean one way over the other as far as maternal attachments.

I will say the donor looks alot like the mom. The children look like both the donor and mom. I pray it all works out and that the mom and donor always have a great relationship. If either does or says something inappropriate then it may effect multiple relationships. I am just too cautious and so something like that would make me uncomfortable, while others may envy that type of relationship.

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Joined: November 20th, 2006, 6:03 pm

June 23rd, 2012, 2:51 pm #4

Wonder what everyone thinks?

HEre's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... amily.html

I think it will be wonderful for the kids. I'm not a big enough person to put aside my own feelings (many and varied) and have another "mom" be a "part of our family." I would love it if our egg donors could meet up with us occasionally through the kids' lives, but I would not be including them in birthdays, graduations, etc, and there's NO way I'd call them the "egg mums [moms]." No way do they get "mom" designation of any kind, in my mind. I'd love it if the kids could know the "aunties" that made them possible, though. I think it would be SO good for them, to be able to ask someone they felt they knew, questions they might have as they grow up about genetic family, and to see where their features came from, etc - just things kids are naturally curious about. I am sure I would have feelings of insecurity from time to time over it, but I think it would be best for the kids, so I'd "fake it until I make it." But since this isn't an option, I guess I don't have to worry about it!! I am 90% sure our second donor would be open to contact (as nurse said she's in touch with other families to whom she donated), and could initiate that through our clinic to inquire, but it makes me sad to offer one child something the others wouldn't have. Plus DD2 is just too young, so why bother yet. When they're older, we'll see. It's all about what they want and need, so DH and I (and he's far more hesitant to acknowledge/discuss donors than I am) need to remember to let the kids' expressed needs and desires guide us. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking article. Good for them for being so open, I think it will serve their children well. Best,
Kenny

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Joined: August 6th, 2011, 6:43 am

June 23rd, 2012, 5:02 pm #5

Wonder what everyone thinks?

HEre's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... amily.html

Thanks for posting it. I'm glad it has worked out so well for all of them.

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Joined: November 27th, 2011, 4:22 pm

June 24th, 2012, 2:47 pm #6

Wonder what everyone thinks?

HEre's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... amily.html

I don't think I'll use the term "egg mom", but this is basically how I envision our relationship with our donor. Thanks so much for sharing this!
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Joined: June 28th, 2008, 7:01 pm

June 24th, 2012, 11:54 pm #7

Wonder what everyone thinks?

HEre's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... amily.html

I love the open relationship. But I agree, the title of mom is reserved just for me. I don't have that option, as my egg donor was an anonymous clinic donor. However, I plan to have a lifelong friendship/special relationship with my GC. But neither one of us ever refers to her as the surro mom. She is the surro. When People here mistakenly ask if I talk to or keep in touch with the mom, or even baby mama, I always correct them and say "if you mean my surro(or GC, I use those interchangeably), she is fine. I am the mother." I don't get testy, as they don't know better. I just say it very matter of factly.

That was a great article and I love how open they were. Thanks GIMB for posting the link.

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Joined: August 12th, 2004, 4:42 pm

June 25th, 2012, 12:49 am #8

Wonder what everyone thinks?

HEre's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... amily.html

I don't think I'd want that level of closeness, but I certainly agree with their "tell all" philosophy.

Maya

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Joined: November 10th, 2004, 4:12 am

June 25th, 2012, 3:08 am #9

Wonder what everyone thinks?

HEre's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... amily.html

They are making a difference in multiple ways, as to egg donation and as to women in their mid 40s being far less likely to be able to get pregnant than the average person believes (although on the latter, I did see where the birth mother felt 44 was way young to be infertile which is NOT accurate). From some of the comments below the article you can see how so many people don't even seen to know about egg donation and probably have NO idea just how prevalent it is.

I do wish I were a better person and truly SO open to this relationship with the egg donor, etc. Truth be told, though, even if I was, I seriously doubt my egg donor or most other egg donors would want that relationship -- that might be different (of course) if my husband and/or myself were celebs!

Interesting article in so many ways.

sas
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Joined: June 19th, 2008, 3:53 pm

June 26th, 2012, 5:56 pm #10

Wonder what everyone thinks?

HEre's the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... amily.html

It all seems like and rainbows & sunshine right now, and I hope for the sake of their family it continues to go that way. I think it's amazing that the mother can so openly share her children with the donor. I would not be so gracious.

Our donor is anonymous, which I thought at the time was for the best. But, as our DD grows I wish I had more information for her for later in life. I feel the importance of being open about her origins and that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I am sure she will want to know if there is someone out there that looks like her or has the same hands and right now we can't give that info to her. I hope that one day the Czech Republic will loosen their rules around anonimity and DD will have access to more info.

As to the couple in the article, I agree with PP's that there is a huge misconception out in the world about age & fertility. 44 is well past a woman's prime for fertility.


TTC since 2006, BFP 2010,
two angel babies
Our daughter was born Dec 23, 2010
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