Is there anything positive in this experience?

Is there anything positive in this experience?

Orchid
Orchid

February 8th, 2011, 3:47 am #1

I was really wanting to think positive this time.

And I was wondering if there is something that we get out of this?

I'm just trying to see if there is anything to this experience that I could say to myself...like it is still a noble thing to try to bring life into the world...

Something like that. Something to counter negative thinking.

I *wasn't* thinking negative last time but I feel battle scarred and want a fresh start. Some inner peace or something!!!

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fish_queen
fish_queen

February 8th, 2011, 5:14 am #2

that is my chant....

CBO, CBO, CBO

xxo
fish
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Orchid
Orchid

February 8th, 2011, 8:37 am #3

I'm just looking for something different this time...It's like I have a little tape in my head and I'm sort of trying to write over it!

So I want something just like 'calm blue oceans' but not exactly that because that's what I always say to myself.

I realize we can't always think positive. It's just I'm trying to go with the flow a little more this time.

Thanks:

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deannaT
deannaT

February 8th, 2011, 3:49 pm #4

like you said "Go with the flow" Why not use that one? I am in a negative state of mind right now, and just seeing you write that line on here helped a bit Best of luck to you, and all of us too!
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Joined: November 3rd, 2010, 10:16 pm

February 8th, 2011, 4:31 pm #5

I was really wanting to think positive this time.

And I was wondering if there is something that we get out of this?

I'm just trying to see if there is anything to this experience that I could say to myself...like it is still a noble thing to try to bring life into the world...

Something like that. Something to counter negative thinking.

I *wasn't* thinking negative last time but I feel battle scarred and want a fresh start. Some inner peace or something!!!

simply work on being ZEN and calm within yourself. neither positive or negative. when you have negative thoughts, simply push them out of your mind, when you start to go positive and day dream of success (which can be painful itself at times), push that out also. work on balancing and centering your emotions and work to train your inner voice to be quiet, patient and at ease.

after many years of ttc naturally and through IVF, I was in the best place when I was able to do this...when I focused more on myself and keeping my emotions from running wild, instead of worrying about was to be or not to be.

GL, it's a hard journey, certainly, but one that can just as easily surprise you as well.

W
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Joined: February 9th, 2011, 8:21 pm

February 9th, 2011, 8:23 pm #6

I was really wanting to think positive this time.

And I was wondering if there is something that we get out of this?

I'm just trying to see if there is anything to this experience that I could say to myself...like it is still a noble thing to try to bring life into the world...

Something like that. Something to counter negative thinking.

I *wasn't* thinking negative last time but I feel battle scarred and want a fresh start. Some inner peace or something!!!

Orchid,

Try googling "EFT and fertility" and pick a site where someone shows you how to do EFT. I have been using that for some time and it really helps with the negative obsessing. Let me know if you need further help with it.

Jennifer
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MacRita
MacRita

February 9th, 2011, 10:53 pm #7

I was really wanting to think positive this time.

And I was wondering if there is something that we get out of this?

I'm just trying to see if there is anything to this experience that I could say to myself...like it is still a noble thing to try to bring life into the world...

Something like that. Something to counter negative thinking.

I *wasn't* thinking negative last time but I feel battle scarred and want a fresh start. Some inner peace or something!!!

So unfair to go through this when most of the planet makes babies for free...

I like what W has to say. Learning those coping mechanisms would be invaluable (and is ancient!) for all difficult situations.

But to answer your rhetorical question: maybe we're learning perspective and how to adapt, which you can only learn through hard experiences, getting up every day, going to work, talking yourself out of meltdowns, IMHO. I have to believe that out of this suffering, we'll have developed compassion where we didn't have much before.

While we didn't have a choice in what happened to our bodies, we have a choice in how we think about this situation. My inner brat routinely tells me to go to hell and enjoy some bitterness/anger for a while. But then other times, I can convince myself that this really could be my last day on the planet, so dig in and count the good, get engaged in life (friends, good movies, good food, plan a trip, hang with the pets, call my parents more because they're not going to be here forever...).

I have only been able to do that since this suffering. That's certainly a positive outcome.

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Orchid
Orchid

February 10th, 2011, 7:01 am #8

simply work on being ZEN and calm within yourself. neither positive or negative. when you have negative thoughts, simply push them out of your mind, when you start to go positive and day dream of success (which can be painful itself at times), push that out also. work on balancing and centering your emotions and work to train your inner voice to be quiet, patient and at ease.

after many years of ttc naturally and through IVF, I was in the best place when I was able to do this...when I focused more on myself and keeping my emotions from running wild, instead of worrying about was to be or not to be.

GL, it's a hard journey, certainly, but one that can just as easily surprise you as well.

W
I remember when I studied meditation for about 8 minutes (I can't even remember any of it) there was one thing about observing yourself breathe without judging.

So cool beans! I'll try what you say!
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Orchid
Orchid

February 10th, 2011, 7:03 am #9

Orchid,

Try googling "EFT and fertility" and pick a site where someone shows you how to do EFT. I have been using that for some time and it really helps with the negative obsessing. Let me know if you need further help with it.

Jennifer
It's hard because you have to speak aloud to yourself and somehow I find that embarassing!!!

But again, I want to mentally reprogram myself this time. Maybe that is one way

Mainly...Hey, it could be a longer haul than I thought. Why experience mild trauma each time. I want to see if I can't just roll with it. Take things as they come.

Does this make sense?
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Orchid
Orchid

February 10th, 2011, 7:05 am #10

So unfair to go through this when most of the planet makes babies for free...

I like what W has to say. Learning those coping mechanisms would be invaluable (and is ancient!) for all difficult situations.

But to answer your rhetorical question: maybe we're learning perspective and how to adapt, which you can only learn through hard experiences, getting up every day, going to work, talking yourself out of meltdowns, IMHO. I have to believe that out of this suffering, we'll have developed compassion where we didn't have much before.

While we didn't have a choice in what happened to our bodies, we have a choice in how we think about this situation. My inner brat routinely tells me to go to hell and enjoy some bitterness/anger for a while. But then other times, I can convince myself that this really could be my last day on the planet, so dig in and count the good, get engaged in life (friends, good movies, good food, plan a trip, hang with the pets, call my parents more because they're not going to be here forever...).

I have only been able to do that since this suffering. That's certainly a positive outcome.
I find there is this part of me that is so reactive all the time. (Some of this are the CRAZY MEDS...yipes these meds make me bananas).

But at the core is a lot of love. I feel a lot of motherly love for this non-existent child. And I think--how can love be bad. The yearning hurts, yes.

And absolutely I'd like to take this experience and turn it into compassion. That would be a FANTASTIC outcome.

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