I'm totally out of answers to DS's questions!

I'm totally out of answers to DS's questions!

Joined: November 5th, 2007, 1:16 am

May 3rd, 2012, 12:52 am #1

DS: Where was I before I was born? ME: in my tummy.
DS: Was I in your tummy when you and Daddy got married? Me: No, you were just a twinkle in my eye.
DS: When I was a "sprinkle" in your eye, did I make all your dreams come true? ME: ABSOLUTELY (I loved this one - but then things started to get difficult!).

DS: Was I a sprinkle in your eye when you were a kid?

This is where I began to run out of answers, and he seemed to be a bit panicked over where he was "before" - DS: Where was I? Was I alone? What was I doing?

For lack of a better response, I said that he was up in "heaven" waiting to be born. He wanted to know what "heaven" was and I didn't know how to explain. We're Jewish but not religious. I said that heaven was up in the sky. He panicked further about his potential role in storms and hurricanes.

What kind of response can I give to an almost 4 year old that explains a time before his existence, because that really seemed to be his concern - how could there be a time before ME?
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Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

May 3rd, 2012, 2:07 am #2

I was thinking about your question earlier actually regarding mine, when they ask but don't even know how to handle the frozen part.

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Joined: October 9th, 2008, 2:53 am

May 3rd, 2012, 5:17 am #3

DS: Where was I before I was born? ME: in my tummy.
DS: Was I in your tummy when you and Daddy got married? Me: No, you were just a twinkle in my eye.
DS: When I was a "sprinkle" in your eye, did I make all your dreams come true? ME: ABSOLUTELY (I loved this one - but then things started to get difficult!).

DS: Was I a sprinkle in your eye when you were a kid?

This is where I began to run out of answers, and he seemed to be a bit panicked over where he was "before" - DS: Where was I? Was I alone? What was I doing?

For lack of a better response, I said that he was up in "heaven" waiting to be born. He wanted to know what "heaven" was and I didn't know how to explain. We're Jewish but not religious. I said that heaven was up in the sky. He panicked further about his potential role in storms and hurricanes.

What kind of response can I give to an almost 4 year old that explains a time before his existence, because that really seemed to be his concern - how could there be a time before ME?
Oh heck what a lovely and complicated questioning for sure.
He is interested in his own being and his place in this world and universe.
I'd probably have mixed a bit of John Edwards philosophy in with religion (I"m catholic but that is of no consequence in the scheme of things).
Its almost a meaning of himself in life question.... maybe go forward in time and have him think of what he wants to do with his life..?
Good luck, its a really hard one, best, THK
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Joined: September 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm

May 3rd, 2012, 5:56 am #4

DS: Where was I before I was born? ME: in my tummy.
DS: Was I in your tummy when you and Daddy got married? Me: No, you were just a twinkle in my eye.
DS: When I was a "sprinkle" in your eye, did I make all your dreams come true? ME: ABSOLUTELY (I loved this one - but then things started to get difficult!).

DS: Was I a sprinkle in your eye when you were a kid?

This is where I began to run out of answers, and he seemed to be a bit panicked over where he was "before" - DS: Where was I? Was I alone? What was I doing?

For lack of a better response, I said that he was up in "heaven" waiting to be born. He wanted to know what "heaven" was and I didn't know how to explain. We're Jewish but not religious. I said that heaven was up in the sky. He panicked further about his potential role in storms and hurricanes.

What kind of response can I give to an almost 4 year old that explains a time before his existence, because that really seemed to be his concern - how could there be a time before ME?
Isn't he very young to be thinking of all those sorts of things? It sounds to me like you're doing well and it IS OK to sometimes say you don't know. I think I would say, 'That's a very good question. People don't really know where babies were before they get in their moms' bellies, because no one has ever been able to remember. Can you remember anything before then?' and see where that goes.
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Joined: November 5th, 2007, 1:16 am

May 3rd, 2012, 10:43 am #5

It's intersting - DS has a memory for lots of little things, BUT he already doesn't remember begin in diapers (he's only been trained since January and still wears a pullup at night) and doesn't remember bottles (we were looking at photos of him as a baby and thought that the bottle was a "sippy). So, he may be able to accept the fact that there are things we don't remember.

I would almost say anything/any type of story to him to keep him from panicing about it!
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Joined: December 2nd, 2005, 3:49 pm

May 3rd, 2012, 1:45 pm #6

DS: Where was I before I was born? ME: in my tummy.
DS: Was I in your tummy when you and Daddy got married? Me: No, you were just a twinkle in my eye.
DS: When I was a "sprinkle" in your eye, did I make all your dreams come true? ME: ABSOLUTELY (I loved this one - but then things started to get difficult!).

DS: Was I a sprinkle in your eye when you were a kid?

This is where I began to run out of answers, and he seemed to be a bit panicked over where he was "before" - DS: Where was I? Was I alone? What was I doing?

For lack of a better response, I said that he was up in "heaven" waiting to be born. He wanted to know what "heaven" was and I didn't know how to explain. We're Jewish but not religious. I said that heaven was up in the sky. He panicked further about his potential role in storms and hurricanes.

What kind of response can I give to an almost 4 year old that explains a time before his existence, because that really seemed to be his concern - how could there be a time before ME?
He's pretty young to be asking such profound questions! My DD asked this too at some point (she's now 5) and I told her "You weren't made yet". We talked about ingredients in a cake and how until you mix them all together they aren't cookies, but separate ingredients. But you've already suggested that he was always there, and it sounds like he's a little worried about where exactly and who exactly he was so you can't go back and say that. They are very concrete at that age of course, and need reassurance, so definitely think of a calming something to say for the next time this come up. That said, I have no idea what exactly you should say!

So then of course my DD wanted to know how she was made. I have talked to her about "part of you was in Daddy, and part of you was in me" (she's OE) and so of course she thought that (for example), her head was inside of me and her toes inside of Daddy! Oh my! Recently she has asked how EXACTLY she was made, and I should just tell her, but I get a pit in my stomach because I know she'll then think that that was how M and A were made, too, and we don't want to share their story with her until we share with them. I just tell you this because your precocious one is going to be asking this too. I don't remember if you're "tell" or not, and if so, how early. I think I should just get a handful of books about all different ways of family building so that when the time comes I can refer to those books and it will seem "normal".
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Joined: August 29th, 2011, 2:23 am

May 3rd, 2012, 1:49 pm #7

DS: Where was I before I was born? ME: in my tummy.
DS: Was I in your tummy when you and Daddy got married? Me: No, you were just a twinkle in my eye.
DS: When I was a "sprinkle" in your eye, did I make all your dreams come true? ME: ABSOLUTELY (I loved this one - but then things started to get difficult!).

DS: Was I a sprinkle in your eye when you were a kid?

This is where I began to run out of answers, and he seemed to be a bit panicked over where he was "before" - DS: Where was I? Was I alone? What was I doing?

For lack of a better response, I said that he was up in "heaven" waiting to be born. He wanted to know what "heaven" was and I didn't know how to explain. We're Jewish but not religious. I said that heaven was up in the sky. He panicked further about his potential role in storms and hurricanes.

What kind of response can I give to an almost 4 year old that explains a time before his existence, because that really seemed to be his concern - how could there be a time before ME?
Maybe you could tell him that he was a special angel in heaven that was fast asleep and then God put him in your tummy where he grew and then when he came out he was awake. Just a thought.

As far as the location of heaven - I get this all the time from my DD. My answer "I don't know where it is as God will only show us when it is time to go there. It is very special as it is invisible until we have to go but you need to stay with Mummy and Daddy a long time before you get to go there" Then I get "how do you know" - My answer "The Bible tells us about it". Yep - I am relying on faith at a young age but really how can I prove this?!!!
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Joined: November 5th, 2007, 1:16 am

May 3rd, 2012, 3:54 pm #8

He's pretty young to be asking such profound questions! My DD asked this too at some point (she's now 5) and I told her "You weren't made yet". We talked about ingredients in a cake and how until you mix them all together they aren't cookies, but separate ingredients. But you've already suggested that he was always there, and it sounds like he's a little worried about where exactly and who exactly he was so you can't go back and say that. They are very concrete at that age of course, and need reassurance, so definitely think of a calming something to say for the next time this come up. That said, I have no idea what exactly you should say!

So then of course my DD wanted to know how she was made. I have talked to her about "part of you was in Daddy, and part of you was in me" (she's OE) and so of course she thought that (for example), her head was inside of me and her toes inside of Daddy! Oh my! Recently she has asked how EXACTLY she was made, and I should just tell her, but I get a pit in my stomach because I know she'll then think that that was how M and A were made, too, and we don't want to share their story with her until we share with them. I just tell you this because your precocious one is going to be asking this too. I don't remember if you're "tell" or not, and if so, how early. I think I should just get a handful of books about all different ways of family building so that when the time comes I can refer to those books and it will seem "normal".
We're tell. I always I assumed that we'd be "tell early and often" but it just hasn't come up yet - although I do occasionally speak ABOUT DE to others in front of him. I think that I will try to re-direct by focusing on conception/creation issues. I'm going to order some of those kids books tonight and see if that helps.
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

May 3rd, 2012, 4:50 pm #9

DS: Where was I before I was born? ME: in my tummy.
DS: Was I in your tummy when you and Daddy got married? Me: No, you were just a twinkle in my eye.
DS: When I was a "sprinkle" in your eye, did I make all your dreams come true? ME: ABSOLUTELY (I loved this one - but then things started to get difficult!).

DS: Was I a sprinkle in your eye when you were a kid?

This is where I began to run out of answers, and he seemed to be a bit panicked over where he was "before" - DS: Where was I? Was I alone? What was I doing?

For lack of a better response, I said that he was up in "heaven" waiting to be born. He wanted to know what "heaven" was and I didn't know how to explain. We're Jewish but not religious. I said that heaven was up in the sky. He panicked further about his potential role in storms and hurricanes.

What kind of response can I give to an almost 4 year old that explains a time before his existence, because that really seemed to be his concern - how could there be a time before ME?
About the climate that my fancy-pants atmospheric physicist brother is still hashing out. If Bob and Fred were up in heaven influencing the weather before they were born, no wonder we're having such issues with extreme heat, cold, and storms. I hope my sons aren't quite as inquisitive about their pre-conception status. Take care, Maggie (in VA)
Last edited by maggie1961 on May 3rd, 2012, 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 13th, 2003, 4:35 am

May 3rd, 2012, 11:02 pm #10

DS: Where was I before I was born? ME: in my tummy.
DS: Was I in your tummy when you and Daddy got married? Me: No, you were just a twinkle in my eye.
DS: When I was a "sprinkle" in your eye, did I make all your dreams come true? ME: ABSOLUTELY (I loved this one - but then things started to get difficult!).

DS: Was I a sprinkle in your eye when you were a kid?

This is where I began to run out of answers, and he seemed to be a bit panicked over where he was "before" - DS: Where was I? Was I alone? What was I doing?

For lack of a better response, I said that he was up in "heaven" waiting to be born. He wanted to know what "heaven" was and I didn't know how to explain. We're Jewish but not religious. I said that heaven was up in the sky. He panicked further about his potential role in storms and hurricanes.

What kind of response can I give to an almost 4 year old that explains a time before his existence, because that really seemed to be his concern - how could there be a time before ME?
We talk about heaven as a special place. "Your" special place ~ it's whatever you envision. A favorite memory or place or person. When a grandparent died my then young son (4'ish) said..."well Pops liked to drink beer & play polker so I guess that's his heaven." We have family members who are catholic, jewish & methodist however we are Unitarian/non-religious.

And I believe it is We just try to keep it simple & answer the questions until they stop or are satisfied. I've tried to avoid saying "you were in my tummy" as my son then said "did you swallow me" That was funny. I just stick to correct anatomical names & use "uterus," "penis," etc. to avoid confusion. Little kids are very literal!

It's fun hearing them ask questions like this & try to figure it all out ~ as if we have it figured out! Thanks for sharing.
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