I was jealous of my husband. The doc's office called to say that his semen analysis was all normal and although I was very happy, for a second i thought: SOB why can't I get news like this about me?
I can't believe I thought that
When I was doing OE IVF for years in the past, and each time DH had to be tested and results were "all ok, no issues" I kept thinking 'Yeah, lets just underline YET AGAIN the fact that I'm the one with the problem here' (having high fsh). And immediately in my own mind I then thought how unfair it was that it may be so and he can sit there so smugly, because it was HE who delayed everything for 8yrs by not getting married sooner (I was a traditionalist way back then, but now I am older and wiser and realise that I shouldn't have waited).
In the end we got really lucky and conceived our DS whilst waiting our final IVF attempt. Don't get me wrong I love DS to bits, but he is a mini DH in every way, doesn't look one bit like me at all. As I prepare to embark on our first DE cycle, I sometimes feel jealous that again DH wins out and any child we may be lucky enough to have through DE will have a 50% chance of looking like him, whereas for me .....?
I think it's perfectly natural to feel jealous briefly, so long as it doesn't linger. I love DH and my fleeting jealous moments I realise is just me being selfish. I's just that way it is with me though.