How many to transfer - and what about twins?

How many to transfer - and what about twins?

LadyMagoo
LadyMagoo

May 27th, 2011, 3:52 pm #1

Ladies,

I'm a month away from turning 43 and we do not have any children. We are deinitely doing CGH - no question about that. The question is how many to transfer - 1, 2...or even 3.

I've been adamantly opposed to transferring more than one until I started talking it through with a girlfriend. Honestly, I'm fearful of the risks associated with a twins pregnancy and the challenges associated with raising twins (DH and I both have long commutes and both work FT). That said, lots of women have successful and healthy pregnancies with twins.

Girlfriend thinks we should actually roll the dice and try for twins. Her rationale is that raising twins is not significantly more difficult than having two children in rapid succession. She says that it gets better once they turn three. So, I guess the logic is that we would be done at once, rather than spread out the infant-toddler process over the course of a total of 6 years or so.

Help?

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zaytune
zaytune

May 27th, 2011, 4:14 pm #2

Ladymagoo , I have been seeing your posts and so excited for you . like you I am struggling with the same issue . I actually had a meeting with my RE yesterday and discussed this very issue .I was surprised when he said , most people at this point go for two , since they do not want to have the lower chance of success with one . Quoting him , the worst that can happen with one is to fail and the worst that can happen with two is twin pregnancy . After a talk with him and my nurse yesterday , I am certainly swayed more towards two . Of course we are ways away from our cycle and will think more about this by then .
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

May 27th, 2011, 4:30 pm #3

Ladies,

I'm a month away from turning 43 and we do not have any children. We are deinitely doing CGH - no question about that. The question is how many to transfer - 1, 2...or even 3.

I've been adamantly opposed to transferring more than one until I started talking it through with a girlfriend. Honestly, I'm fearful of the risks associated with a twins pregnancy and the challenges associated with raising twins (DH and I both have long commutes and both work FT). That said, lots of women have successful and healthy pregnancies with twins.

Girlfriend thinks we should actually roll the dice and try for twins. Her rationale is that raising twins is not significantly more difficult than having two children in rapid succession. She says that it gets better once they turn three. So, I guess the logic is that we would be done at once, rather than spread out the infant-toddler process over the course of a total of 6 years or so.

Help?
If your health is good and you are financially sound, it may make sense to tx 2 (5d; others may have input on 3d, but I only did 5d txs) embies. You would still statistically be more likely to get a singleton. But you are right to be fearful of the health risks associated with a twin pregnancy. I never really felt I could enjoy my pregnancy between the health concerns and my marital problems, even though my pregnancy turned out to be very uncomplicated. And when I'm with moms from my moms group, I do get wistful at how different their relationship seems with their babies than mine is with my twins. All the images in the soft-focus mommy porn you see in the magazines in your OB's waiting room just go right out the window with multiples.

A lot of women who have a DE singleton feel compelled to move forward with another pregnancy pretty soon due to their age and, I guess, the freshness of frozens they may have. My boss has "Irish twins," probably for this reason, and yeah, he really does seem to understand my childrearing challenges very well. I would really like to go back for my frosties, but I am very glad I don't have to be pg with an active toddler for my boys to have a sibling.

The other thing is that a lot of US clinics are getting much more assertive about not wanting to tx > 1. They're under pressure from the insurance industry and, really, rightfully so. Also, they're under scrutiny from the religious right trying to stop all IVF. So, it may not be as easy as just wanting to tx 2.

So, think it over. Honestly, if you want to enjoy your pregnancy and your baby, a singleton is much better, IMO.

Take care,

Maggie (in VA)
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zaytune
zaytune

May 27th, 2011, 4:38 pm #4

Hello Maggie . Good to see you . What do you mean by the relationship being different between moms of singleton vs twins ?
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Joined: May 10th, 2011, 11:57 pm

May 27th, 2011, 4:48 pm #5

Ladies,

I'm a month away from turning 43 and we do not have any children. We are deinitely doing CGH - no question about that. The question is how many to transfer - 1, 2...or even 3.

I've been adamantly opposed to transferring more than one until I started talking it through with a girlfriend. Honestly, I'm fearful of the risks associated with a twins pregnancy and the challenges associated with raising twins (DH and I both have long commutes and both work FT). That said, lots of women have successful and healthy pregnancies with twins.

Girlfriend thinks we should actually roll the dice and try for twins. Her rationale is that raising twins is not significantly more difficult than having two children in rapid succession. She says that it gets better once they turn three. So, I guess the logic is that we would be done at once, rather than spread out the infant-toddler process over the course of a total of 6 years or so.

Help?
Hi LadyMagoo,

I'm also 43, and a little over 5 weeks pg now. Our RE strongly recommended transferring only one unless there was a question about embryo quality. We transferred a grade A blast at day 5, and we also have 4 frozen. So far, it seems to have worked for us. If we make it, I'm not sure whether we'll go back for another or not: one thing at a time! So far, one healthy child has been our goal (and it has seemed so out of reach).

What helped us to follow the RE's advice was the experience of a friend who developed serious preeclampsia during her single DE pregnancy, despite being in very good shape. Granted, she was 47, but she's convinced that if she had been carrying twins she would have died. Everyone has to make their own decision, but sometimes we get so focused on getting pregnant that we overlook our own health.

Maggie, are you serious about the right wing wanting to ban IVF? I live in Tennessee, and there's little that surprises me, but I hadn't heard this.

Jen
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Joined: July 10th, 2009, 8:18 pm

May 27th, 2011, 5:12 pm #6

Ladies,

I'm a month away from turning 43 and we do not have any children. We are deinitely doing CGH - no question about that. The question is how many to transfer - 1, 2...or even 3.

I've been adamantly opposed to transferring more than one until I started talking it through with a girlfriend. Honestly, I'm fearful of the risks associated with a twins pregnancy and the challenges associated with raising twins (DH and I both have long commutes and both work FT). That said, lots of women have successful and healthy pregnancies with twins.

Girlfriend thinks we should actually roll the dice and try for twins. Her rationale is that raising twins is not significantly more difficult than having two children in rapid succession. She says that it gets better once they turn three. So, I guess the logic is that we would be done at once, rather than spread out the infant-toddler process over the course of a total of 6 years or so.

Help?
Another poster posed this same question just a couple of days ago. (Around #34, I think.) You may want to look at those responses too just for additional feedback. Best of luck with your transfer and hopefully, a positive beta!
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Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

May 27th, 2011, 5:25 pm #7

Hello Maggie . Good to see you . What do you mean by the relationship being different between moms of singleton vs twins ?
I think it's affected the speed at which I have bonded with my children. I would never be able to be fully in the present with one at a time without feeling guilty if I was not involving the other one. I think it is a little akin to asking someone to fall in love with two men at the same time.
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

May 27th, 2011, 6:23 pm #8

Hi LadyMagoo,

I'm also 43, and a little over 5 weeks pg now. Our RE strongly recommended transferring only one unless there was a question about embryo quality. We transferred a grade A blast at day 5, and we also have 4 frozen. So far, it seems to have worked for us. If we make it, I'm not sure whether we'll go back for another or not: one thing at a time! So far, one healthy child has been our goal (and it has seemed so out of reach).

What helped us to follow the RE's advice was the experience of a friend who developed serious preeclampsia during her single DE pregnancy, despite being in very good shape. Granted, she was 47, but she's convinced that if she had been carrying twins she would have died. Everyone has to make their own decision, but sometimes we get so focused on getting pregnant that we overlook our own health.

Maggie, are you serious about the right wing wanting to ban IVF? I live in Tennessee, and there's little that surprises me, but I hadn't heard this.

Jen
Since they want to confer "personhood" on embryos, the goal being to ban abortion, too, they think it's wrong to perform IVF. I think Georgia tried to make embryos "wards of the state" legislatively. Did they succeed in that? Can't remember. Maggie (in VA)
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Joined: April 14th, 2003, 10:59 pm

May 27th, 2011, 6:42 pm #9

But we have a really good team in GA. Other states, not so much. This past year has been terrifying in the legislative sessions in the states. Things that are passing are really scary in their implication.

To be perfectly honest, if we are still able to do IVF to the current standard of medicine in four years, I would be surprised.

You guessed right! I did want to chime in!
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

May 27th, 2011, 7:09 pm #10

Hello Maggie . Good to see you . What do you mean by the relationship being different between moms of singleton vs twins ?
It's very hard to have one-on-one time to play with one of them. When I put them to bed at night, I can't cradle both of them in my arms to give them their bedtime bottles. One usually lies between my legs and another leans on my bosom. One is always complaining b/c he's being left upstairs or downstairs while I carry his brother up or down. And, honestly, they learn pretty quickly that they can gang up on you. Take care, Maggie (in VA)

Edited: also, can't go to "mommy 'n' me" anything, drive to the grocery store in the next town that has double child seat carts, had to have night help for months to be able to work.
Last edited by maggie1961 on May 27th, 2011, 7:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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