hello (ds and m/c ment.)

hello (ds and m/c ment.)

bigboy
bigboy

June 26th, 2011, 1:16 pm #1

hi - i usually post on the new high fsh board. lately i have been thinking more and more about DE, and will probably really consider doing it in a year (given that the finances are there). A little about me: i just turned 32 and am realizing that i dont have nearly the patience for this as many other women with infertility do. Three and a half years ago, i had HA and didnt ovulate for 6 months. after an RE told me to gain weight (no, i wasnt anorexic, but i was thin) i got a period. following cycle RE put me on clomid and i got pregnant with my son. interestingly that cycle i had an AFC of 9 and RE said nothing about it.
January 2011 we try for #2, and i got pg. and miscarried a 5.5 weeks. Three cycles later i went back to my RE, even though my OB told me i was "fine" (i have 26-29 day cycles and O on day 14 usually). then i got FSH of 12.3, normal E2, AFC of 8-9, AMH of .34. the next cycle FSH ws 7.7 with normal E2, (dont know why im adding that, i always feel the need to include all of my FSH #s) and i had a chemical pregnancy...this just happened.
I went to a new RE bc my old one was at a terrible practice IMO, and i really like my new RE. He is very confident that i can get pregnant with my OE (old RE thought i could too but only through IVF)...and he is not a cheerleader. I like hearing this, but wish i believed it myself. Im just not willing to do this for 3 + years. I would rather try DE. I will probably go through 2 IVFs, as our insurance covers barely that. Next June my husband is to be promoted at his firm which will provide additional insurance. This is when i will most likely try DE. Is the success rate for DE the same as a healthy couple going through IVF? i dont know much about it at all...the main thing holding me back is that i know it is more $$ than a regular IVF cycle and it may not even work....any information you can provide would me helpful. thanks : )
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Anonymous
Anonymous

June 26th, 2011, 1:34 pm #2

Sometimes it seems like there is some unwritten requirement to exhaust all possible OE attempts and spend years before finally waving a white flag and doing DE only after you turn 45 or something. That is SO not necessary and a real shame to waste all those good years when you could be parenting and having lots of babies There are many of us who abandoned our OE attempts while much younger and didn't want the stress or m/c or failures after a couple of tries. There is no metal for suffering through 12 IVFs etc, not to mention the psychological toll and the personality changes that can result from years and years of ART.

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Joined: January 1st, 2006, 3:50 pm

June 26th, 2011, 1:41 pm #3

hi - i usually post on the new high fsh board. lately i have been thinking more and more about DE, and will probably really consider doing it in a year (given that the finances are there). A little about me: i just turned 32 and am realizing that i dont have nearly the patience for this as many other women with infertility do. Three and a half years ago, i had HA and didnt ovulate for 6 months. after an RE told me to gain weight (no, i wasnt anorexic, but i was thin) i got a period. following cycle RE put me on clomid and i got pregnant with my son. interestingly that cycle i had an AFC of 9 and RE said nothing about it.
January 2011 we try for #2, and i got pg. and miscarried a 5.5 weeks. Three cycles later i went back to my RE, even though my OB told me i was "fine" (i have 26-29 day cycles and O on day 14 usually). then i got FSH of 12.3, normal E2, AFC of 8-9, AMH of .34. the next cycle FSH ws 7.7 with normal E2, (dont know why im adding that, i always feel the need to include all of my FSH #s) and i had a chemical pregnancy...this just happened.
I went to a new RE bc my old one was at a terrible practice IMO, and i really like my new RE. He is very confident that i can get pregnant with my OE (old RE thought i could too but only through IVF)...and he is not a cheerleader. I like hearing this, but wish i believed it myself. Im just not willing to do this for 3 + years. I would rather try DE. I will probably go through 2 IVFs, as our insurance covers barely that. Next June my husband is to be promoted at his firm which will provide additional insurance. This is when i will most likely try DE. Is the success rate for DE the same as a healthy couple going through IVF? i dont know much about it at all...the main thing holding me back is that i know it is more $$ than a regular IVF cycle and it may not even work....any information you can provide would me helpful. thanks : )

I'm sure you've already looked at the stats for various clinics and that your RE has told you the stats in his practice - however - the reality is that it doesnt matter what the odds are - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.

We did three fresh DE cycles and were told we had an 80% chance of success each time (I had had bio children in a previous marriage - our only obstacle was supposedly my old eggs)- bfns each time. We then did an FET also bfn. Did a fourth fresh donor cycle and got lucky. Our little guy is now 15 months old. We went back again for the frozen embryos from that last cycle - and were given a 20% success rate (clinic doesnt have much experience with FETs and with our history of bfns, none of us thought it'd work) - we are now nearly 34 wks with a little girl.

In total we went through four fresh donor cycles - six transfers - and it took 17 embryos being transferred to get us our son and our daughter.

Some ladies get pg on the first try - some dont. There is no way to know which side of the coin you'll end up on ahead of time.

Regardless, you have come to the right place for support! Good luck as you begin this journey



Kay

" Some people built castles in the air. She constructed hers from mashed potatoes, which kept down demolition costs." Sarah Sloane, Borrowing Priviledges
Last edited by TheMzD on June 26th, 2011, 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Anon7
Anon7

June 26th, 2011, 3:29 pm #4

hi - i usually post on the new high fsh board. lately i have been thinking more and more about DE, and will probably really consider doing it in a year (given that the finances are there). A little about me: i just turned 32 and am realizing that i dont have nearly the patience for this as many other women with infertility do. Three and a half years ago, i had HA and didnt ovulate for 6 months. after an RE told me to gain weight (no, i wasnt anorexic, but i was thin) i got a period. following cycle RE put me on clomid and i got pregnant with my son. interestingly that cycle i had an AFC of 9 and RE said nothing about it.
January 2011 we try for #2, and i got pg. and miscarried a 5.5 weeks. Three cycles later i went back to my RE, even though my OB told me i was "fine" (i have 26-29 day cycles and O on day 14 usually). then i got FSH of 12.3, normal E2, AFC of 8-9, AMH of .34. the next cycle FSH ws 7.7 with normal E2, (dont know why im adding that, i always feel the need to include all of my FSH #s) and i had a chemical pregnancy...this just happened.
I went to a new RE bc my old one was at a terrible practice IMO, and i really like my new RE. He is very confident that i can get pregnant with my OE (old RE thought i could too but only through IVF)...and he is not a cheerleader. I like hearing this, but wish i believed it myself. Im just not willing to do this for 3 + years. I would rather try DE. I will probably go through 2 IVFs, as our insurance covers barely that. Next June my husband is to be promoted at his firm which will provide additional insurance. This is when i will most likely try DE. Is the success rate for DE the same as a healthy couple going through IVF? i dont know much about it at all...the main thing holding me back is that i know it is more $$ than a regular IVF cycle and it may not even work....any information you can provide would me helpful. thanks : )
Hello, and Welcome!

The first thing I will tell you is that I just did my first DE transfer yesterday, so I'm new to this game. I'm officially in the 2ww. I'm in my early 40's and started this journey last August as a 40 something single woman. I'd been ready for much longer, but wanted to do it the traditional way - you know, MARRIED to a man I love? I decided at 40 that I was too desperate and settling for the wrong men - guys I didn't even care about - just to try and get that baby. So, I'd do it on my own and hope to find Mr. Right later on better terms. The economy kept me on until I was able to do my 1st OE try in August of 2010. Went through 3 OE low-medium stim IUIs since then - all BFN. My #'s were the same as yours, only my FSH for the past year of trying ranged from 8.4 (lowest, on last cycle), to 10.3, with E2 ranging from 40's to 60's, and an AFC of 8-10 each month. No endo or anything, just old by maternal standards. To date, I've put $40k in cash into this b/c I'm in a state where medical insurance does not cover infertility treatments.

I tell you the above b/c I'm coming from a very different place than you are, so that's where my advice history lies so to speak.

1. I think you have a great shot with OE, and if I were in your situation wouldn't even consider DE for a while.
2. I'm not sure why the RE's are saying that IVF is the 'only' way for you? You've gotten pg 3x on your own, so I think there may be some other issue going on here. Your highest FSH is only slightly elevated, and your AMH is pretty good too.
3. Have you had a hysteroscopy? This is a test where they make sure your uterus doesn't have any fibroids, etc., and that your tubes are clear. It's standard protocol or at least should be. My RE had a woman who'd gotten pg 3x and had 3 miscarriages through IVF. They finally talked her into doing the hysteroscopy, and the problem was a think layer of tissue her uterus that was preventing the pregnancy from progressing. They removed and BAM. She had a healthy pg. You may also simply need progesterone support b/c your body doesn't produce enough in early pg to support the pg until the placenta can take over

DE is a very complex option, IMHO. I would never even have considered it a year ago. Adoption was my 2nd alternative. Then I went to a clinic for an appointment, and they were fine with me doing OE and told me my chances weren't really upped with IVF, that they actually recommended IUI injectible cycles b/c it gave me more tries and a greater chance of finding that golden egg at my age. They also said that they offered a shared DE program where you split the eggs with another couple and pay $11,500 + meds for the donor all-in. Suddenly, I knew it was quite possible for me to actually have a baby. A healthy, take-home baby where the chance of chromosomal issues was much, much lower. I still did an additional OE try, which was my best one yet - 3 mature follicles in play, great lining, great E2, wonderful timing, 2 back-to-back IUIs with really good donor sperm. BFN. Very hard to accept that none of those eggs were viable, but it pushed me over the edge. I felt like you do right now. I can't keep doing this. BUT, I've spent a fortune in less than a year on this and am single and am a little more than a decade older than you. That changes things a LOT.

Some things to consider about DE:
1. Who will you tell? When will you tell?
2. How will the child feel as a DE versus OE child?
3. What is the child turns out to be a very difficult child, despite your best efforts at parenting? Will you be able to be as forgiving and supportive as you would if it were your OE?

Boy, this is a LONG post! Can you tell I'm super bored with this bedrest thing? . The urge to clean and work out is overwhelming. Anyhow, that's my perspective. Look into the hysteroscopy and the progesterone support, and you may well be reporting a successful BFP VERY soon.

Best to you!

ps - I would NEVER suffer through 12 IVFs. I don't care what they say, I don't think it's good for the body. They max the donor's out at 6......but you've done none. Best of luck in your decision.
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Anon7
Anon7

June 26th, 2011, 3:51 pm #5

hi - i usually post on the new high fsh board. lately i have been thinking more and more about DE, and will probably really consider doing it in a year (given that the finances are there). A little about me: i just turned 32 and am realizing that i dont have nearly the patience for this as many other women with infertility do. Three and a half years ago, i had HA and didnt ovulate for 6 months. after an RE told me to gain weight (no, i wasnt anorexic, but i was thin) i got a period. following cycle RE put me on clomid and i got pregnant with my son. interestingly that cycle i had an AFC of 9 and RE said nothing about it.
January 2011 we try for #2, and i got pg. and miscarried a 5.5 weeks. Three cycles later i went back to my RE, even though my OB told me i was "fine" (i have 26-29 day cycles and O on day 14 usually). then i got FSH of 12.3, normal E2, AFC of 8-9, AMH of .34. the next cycle FSH ws 7.7 with normal E2, (dont know why im adding that, i always feel the need to include all of my FSH #s) and i had a chemical pregnancy...this just happened.
I went to a new RE bc my old one was at a terrible practice IMO, and i really like my new RE. He is very confident that i can get pregnant with my OE (old RE thought i could too but only through IVF)...and he is not a cheerleader. I like hearing this, but wish i believed it myself. Im just not willing to do this for 3 + years. I would rather try DE. I will probably go through 2 IVFs, as our insurance covers barely that. Next June my husband is to be promoted at his firm which will provide additional insurance. This is when i will most likely try DE. Is the success rate for DE the same as a healthy couple going through IVF? i dont know much about it at all...the main thing holding me back is that i know it is more $$ than a regular IVF cycle and it may not even work....any information you can provide would me helpful. thanks : )
my total cost for shared DE ended up being about $15k with the meds, but I ended up getting some other progesterone than PIO (could not do the shot) - prometrium and crinone, which cost over $1k, upping the cost to $16k so far for this cycle. If successful, these progesterone meds will continue for another 1-2 months, which will up the cost by an additional $2k. Just what my cost has been.

On another note, I really don't think someone who has gotten pg on their first try with clomid, and then had 2 pgs in less than 6 months is infertile. There is something small they are overlooking. Good Luck!
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Anonymous
Anonymous

June 26th, 2011, 4:51 pm #6

anon7, if you feel comfortable doing so, can you send me an email at highfshchick AT yahoo DOT com
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Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

June 26th, 2011, 5:17 pm #7

my total cost for shared DE ended up being about $15k with the meds, but I ended up getting some other progesterone than PIO (could not do the shot) - prometrium and crinone, which cost over $1k, upping the cost to $16k so far for this cycle. If successful, these progesterone meds will continue for another 1-2 months, which will up the cost by an additional $2k. Just what my cost has been.

On another note, I really don't think someone who has gotten pg on their first try with clomid, and then had 2 pgs in less than 6 months is infertile. There is something small they are overlooking. Good Luck!
When I finally succeeded with donor embryos at 45, I did several things differently than I had on all previous cycles. Nothing too fancy but maybe these things would have helped me get and stay pregnant sooner: I did Lovenox despite no consistent positive hematology issues, corrected a vitamin D deficiency, and took high EPA fish oil to modulate slightly elevated NK cell levels. And three 13.4 year old, thrice picked over, twice frozen blasts produced a twin pregnancy.

I'd get checked for everything you possibly can...hematology workup, hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy, NK cells, balanced translocation, etc. Maybe lobby to do intralipids. Get your TSH as close to 1 as possible. And I would get my DH (oh yeah, if I had one) to do a regimen of antioxidants for at least a couple of months before trying and get a SA done. Maybe even look into TCM. I did not get pregnant while doing acupuncture but did regulate my long cycles while I did. I bet you still have some good eggs in there...just need to make the environment as friendly to them as possible. Also as far as your eggs, I'd look into getting my glutathione and CoQ10 levels up and stomping out advanced glycation end products - will give a healthier enviroment for the eggs to mature in.

Not to discourage you from donor egg but it's likely to not be your golden ticket if there is something else non egg quality related causing your losses.

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bigboy
bigboy

June 26th, 2011, 6:33 pm #8

wow thanks for the thought out responses - i really appreciate it. the only tests i have done to date are most of the hormones (in addition to the "big three on CD3") but i have only had those checked a couple times. and honestly, im not even sure what they all are, i just know i had a plethera of hormones checked in the beginning when they were checking for PCOS and other issues. Thyroid i have had checked 3 times bc my mom and sister have some serious issues with it. i have had an SHG and my old RE was very specific in saying that it looked "fantastic" in there.
I will talk to my new RE about additional testing...to address one thing that a PP said, my OLD RE said that i would most likely only get pregnant through IVF, if at all...NOT my new RE. New RE seems more optimistic about clomid honestly...it's not that he doesnt think IVF wont work, he just doesnt think i need to jump into it this second. For whatever the reason, right now, i respond very well to clomid.
And neither RE is referring to me as "infertile" mind you - although i feel like i am. With my DOR and my AMH and all that.
In regards to my progesterone, old RE thought it sucked, new RE thinks it is fine. ....it was 22.4 on the clomid this past cycle when i had the chemical...that was the highest it has EVER been by far. But the previous cycle, which was natural, it was 10 at 6dpo. i dont have impressive P4 numbers with the exception of thsi last clomid round.
Thanks again for the honest info.
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bigboy
bigboy

June 26th, 2011, 6:55 pm #9

my total cost for shared DE ended up being about $15k with the meds, but I ended up getting some other progesterone than PIO (could not do the shot) - prometrium and crinone, which cost over $1k, upping the cost to $16k so far for this cycle. If successful, these progesterone meds will continue for another 1-2 months, which will up the cost by an additional $2k. Just what my cost has been.

On another note, I really don't think someone who has gotten pg on their first try with clomid, and then had 2 pgs in less than 6 months is infertile. There is something small they are overlooking. Good Luck!
good luck with your 2ww!! it's torture i know!
i also responded more in length below - under another responder.

wanted to say though...i have been told, that with my AMH and AFC that my egg quality is probably compromised....although new RE 100% thinks that i have some good ones left.

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bigboy
bigboy

June 26th, 2011, 6:59 pm #10

hi - i usually post on the new high fsh board. lately i have been thinking more and more about DE, and will probably really consider doing it in a year (given that the finances are there). A little about me: i just turned 32 and am realizing that i dont have nearly the patience for this as many other women with infertility do. Three and a half years ago, i had HA and didnt ovulate for 6 months. after an RE told me to gain weight (no, i wasnt anorexic, but i was thin) i got a period. following cycle RE put me on clomid and i got pregnant with my son. interestingly that cycle i had an AFC of 9 and RE said nothing about it.
January 2011 we try for #2, and i got pg. and miscarried a 5.5 weeks. Three cycles later i went back to my RE, even though my OB told me i was "fine" (i have 26-29 day cycles and O on day 14 usually). then i got FSH of 12.3, normal E2, AFC of 8-9, AMH of .34. the next cycle FSH ws 7.7 with normal E2, (dont know why im adding that, i always feel the need to include all of my FSH #s) and i had a chemical pregnancy...this just happened.
I went to a new RE bc my old one was at a terrible practice IMO, and i really like my new RE. He is very confident that i can get pregnant with my OE (old RE thought i could too but only through IVF)...and he is not a cheerleader. I like hearing this, but wish i believed it myself. Im just not willing to do this for 3 + years. I would rather try DE. I will probably go through 2 IVFs, as our insurance covers barely that. Next June my husband is to be promoted at his firm which will provide additional insurance. This is when i will most likely try DE. Is the success rate for DE the same as a healthy couple going through IVF? i dont know much about it at all...the main thing holding me back is that i know it is more $$ than a regular IVF cycle and it may not even work....any information you can provide would me helpful. thanks : )
this past cycle that i had the chemical i was on 50mg clomid and had a good response. (3 mature follies on CD7).
im also going to accupuncture - i go 3 times a month. twice before ovulation and then once the week after.
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