Has anyone had second thought?

Has anyone had second thought?

anon
anon

July 27th, 2011, 9:43 pm #1

After dealing with infertility for all these years. I cant believe I am here now. I have totally opened my mind to doing egg donation and feel so happy I have this amazing option. Hvae dealt with crappy agency and now have a clinic donor. Finally! this is years now. I am an over thinker. Now I am questioning everything, Do I want to be a Mom? Is my marriage where it should be? My career? How will I manage everything?Did I miss the boat all of my friends kids are grown now. What if after all this it doesnt work? I will be devastated. Sorry to go on and on.....
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ks
ks

July 27th, 2011, 9:51 pm #2

I tell you this my heart melts every time I look at my baby girl! You are always going to have insecurities, even now I tend to think I'm doing something wrong, but it is sooo worth it! Every toothless grin reminds me I'm her mom and whether or not I'm doing everything right she's going to love me simply because I love her! Good luck on your journey!

ks
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Anonymous
Anonymous

July 27th, 2011, 10:10 pm #3

After dealing with infertility for all these years. I cant believe I am here now. I have totally opened my mind to doing egg donation and feel so happy I have this amazing option. Hvae dealt with crappy agency and now have a clinic donor. Finally! this is years now. I am an over thinker. Now I am questioning everything, Do I want to be a Mom? Is my marriage where it should be? My career? How will I manage everything?Did I miss the boat all of my friends kids are grown now. What if after all this it doesnt work? I will be devastated. Sorry to go on and on.....
Your friends with kids who are grown will be so jealous that you have little ones in your life you will love being a older mom so fun..
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Joined: December 4th, 2007, 6:59 pm

July 27th, 2011, 11:34 pm #4

After dealing with infertility for all these years. I cant believe I am here now. I have totally opened my mind to doing egg donation and feel so happy I have this amazing option. Hvae dealt with crappy agency and now have a clinic donor. Finally! this is years now. I am an over thinker. Now I am questioning everything, Do I want to be a Mom? Is my marriage where it should be? My career? How will I manage everything?Did I miss the boat all of my friends kids are grown now. What if after all this it doesnt work? I will be devastated. Sorry to go on and on.....
I had all of those thoughts and more. It is very normaal. It took four years of TTC and coming to terms with the DE aspect before we were able to do our cycle. I still remember saying 'OMG, our cycle is starting!' and it was nervewracking and exciting all in one.

The realization of what parenting means can be overwhelming too. There are always things that are out of our control which is scary too. There is always something that could be a better time for, etc.

And, things can change down the road when we least expect it. When we cycled three years ago, we had been married for a year (together 7 yrs), just bought a new house/mini van, and then got pg on our first DE cycle. Jackpot! Or so I thought. Fast foward to now. Separated since the kids were 14 months old (now 2 1/2 yrs old), and were divorced last week (he had numerous affairs). ExDH now lives nine hrs away and has for a year. So you never know what the future brings.

But I can tell you that not matter what happened leading up to now, I love my babies more then life itself and I am SO thankful for them!!

My point: The perfect timing is now.

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LizLA
LizLA

July 27th, 2011, 11:37 pm #5

Your friends with kids who are grown will be so jealous that you have little ones in your life you will love being a older mom so fun..
You are so right! Being older mom is sooo good.nt
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Joined: December 8th, 2006, 6:35 am

July 27th, 2011, 11:50 pm #6

After dealing with infertility for all these years. I cant believe I am here now. I have totally opened my mind to doing egg donation and feel so happy I have this amazing option. Hvae dealt with crappy agency and now have a clinic donor. Finally! this is years now. I am an over thinker. Now I am questioning everything, Do I want to be a Mom? Is my marriage where it should be? My career? How will I manage everything?Did I miss the boat all of my friends kids are grown now. What if after all this it doesnt work? I will be devastated. Sorry to go on and on.....
That was me. I could have written your post!

I still am fearful, but I think the posters were right in that dh and I are suffering from some form of PTSD. I think it's totally natural.
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BBG
BBG

July 28th, 2011, 12:08 am #7

After dealing with infertility for all these years. I cant believe I am here now. I have totally opened my mind to doing egg donation and feel so happy I have this amazing option. Hvae dealt with crappy agency and now have a clinic donor. Finally! this is years now. I am an over thinker. Now I am questioning everything, Do I want to be a Mom? Is my marriage where it should be? My career? How will I manage everything?Did I miss the boat all of my friends kids are grown now. What if after all this it doesnt work? I will be devastated. Sorry to go on and on.....
All that is SO normal. It just means you are really getting closer.

Even after my twins were born and I was in a bad way, not getting any sleep, I had second thoughts! (Too late by then, of course.)

Now, I'm so happy. It is all worth it. I had to use a GS too and yes, we are blessed that we have these options that infertile women in our mother's and grandmother's day did not have.

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Julie
Julie

July 28th, 2011, 12:48 am #8

Your friends with kids who are grown will be so jealous that you have little ones in your life you will love being a older mom so fun..
This is the truth -- my friends love my LO
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Joined: May 15th, 2009, 12:50 am

July 28th, 2011, 1:46 am #9

After dealing with infertility for all these years. I cant believe I am here now. I have totally opened my mind to doing egg donation and feel so happy I have this amazing option. Hvae dealt with crappy agency and now have a clinic donor. Finally! this is years now. I am an over thinker. Now I am questioning everything, Do I want to be a Mom? Is my marriage where it should be? My career? How will I manage everything?Did I miss the boat all of my friends kids are grown now. What if after all this it doesnt work? I will be devastated. Sorry to go on and on.....
Thanks for posing the question and thanks to those who have responded thus far. I'm thinking/hoping I'm on the verge of finally acheiving success with DE after a long road and have had some of these some thoughts run through my mind but later I see a TV commerical with a cute kid and I think, yeah, I need to be a mom (this literally just happened to me a half hour ago).

Best to you on your journey!
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Joined: April 27th, 2007, 10:46 am

July 28th, 2011, 3:22 pm #10

After dealing with infertility for all these years. I cant believe I am here now. I have totally opened my mind to doing egg donation and feel so happy I have this amazing option. Hvae dealt with crappy agency and now have a clinic donor. Finally! this is years now. I am an over thinker. Now I am questioning everything, Do I want to be a Mom? Is my marriage where it should be? My career? How will I manage everything?Did I miss the boat all of my friends kids are grown now. What if after all this it doesnt work? I will be devastated. Sorry to go on and on.....
You are having the same insecurities as any new parent. Perfectly normal.
Last edited by Obie9 on July 28th, 2011, 3:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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