For those who have needed more than one DE for success

For those who have needed more than one DE for success

Newbie
Newbie

April 30th, 2011, 1:32 am #1

I am coming up to my beta in a few days and I just don't have a very good feeling. I always like to have contingency plans. How did you find the strength and resolve to move on to a second one? I am coming from a place of my OE stuff didn't work and this was pitched as the saving grace. With that being thrown in my face by multiple REs, I just will feel that much more devestated. I appreciate any feedback.
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minniet
minniet

April 30th, 2011, 2:32 am #2

You have every reason to be hopeful, remember, your feelings really are not an accurate gauge! So, read this thread and enjoy when you get your + beta!

It was very tough. My de results were worse than OE -- at least with OE I had chemicals. But I survived. Discovered, despite every attempt to be thorough, I needed a diff RE, different approach, minor surgery. Took some serious time off.

Starting again now, we hope to cycle in July. You can do it. But the odds are still in your favor, PUPO!
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Kacee
Kacee

April 30th, 2011, 2:39 am #3

I am coming up to my beta in a few days and I just don't have a very good feeling. I always like to have contingency plans. How did you find the strength and resolve to move on to a second one? I am coming from a place of my OE stuff didn't work and this was pitched as the saving grace. With that being thrown in my face by multiple REs, I just will feel that much more devestated. I appreciate any feedback.
land on either side of the stats. I always have a back-up plan and pretty much have it set in action if things don't go as planned. It took me four donors before I was successful. I never cried or felt why me, I just continued to put one foot in front of the other and kept the goal in sight. Perhaps it comes from my training in athletics, to just do what it takes and if it isn't positive, I don't have time to waste on feeling sorry for myself. It is too much a waste of time and energy.

We are not rich and were living off of one teacher's income at the time. Our insurance did not cover fertility and the clinic we were successful with was on the other side of the country. We did what needed to be done. Used zero interest credit cards and mileage credit cards. Refinanced three times. I will say that we were blessed in that home values had increased at that time. We are a bit upside down on our loan now, but it will be fine in time. We survived with one car for eight years. That car now has 299,573 miles on it. Our house needs repairing. All of our friends moved up to bigger homes on lakes and golf courses and we are in our same modest, starter home. But, the outcome... three amazing children, which are priceless.

I hope that you are successful the first time, but if you are not, you do what you have to do. My favorite saying..."Do you give up easy? HELL NO!!!"
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Joined: August 17th, 2005, 11:44 pm

April 30th, 2011, 2:40 am #4

nt
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Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

April 30th, 2011, 3:09 am #5

I am coming up to my beta in a few days and I just don't have a very good feeling. I always like to have contingency plans. How did you find the strength and resolve to move on to a second one? I am coming from a place of my OE stuff didn't work and this was pitched as the saving grace. With that being thrown in my face by multiple REs, I just will feel that much more devestated. I appreciate any feedback.
The first cycle, I didn't have one, and did not reach transfer (it was a frozen egg study at SIRM). I was DEVASTATED. But sweet wonderful hope came literally the day after I got home when I found a study with much friendlier parameters only a few miles from my house at GIVF. We actually got to choose donors and got all the eggs - they just had to undergo vitrification/thaw first. I did get to transfer, which was emotionally much, much better than not reaching transfer even though this cycle failed too. But before my BFN, I was already lining up my next step just in case. I was so glad to be moving on by the time I got my BFN. The next cycle turned out to be donor embryo in Albuquerque. I was already by this time on waiting lists around the country so had the comfort of contingency before I started the cycle, and actually got to the top of a list just as I got my BFP. Really, knowing what Plan B was ahead of time made the hugest difference in those cycles.

I hope your feeling turns out to be very wrong though.
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Orchid
Orchid

April 30th, 2011, 5:56 am #6

land on either side of the stats. I always have a back-up plan and pretty much have it set in action if things don't go as planned. It took me four donors before I was successful. I never cried or felt why me, I just continued to put one foot in front of the other and kept the goal in sight. Perhaps it comes from my training in athletics, to just do what it takes and if it isn't positive, I don't have time to waste on feeling sorry for myself. It is too much a waste of time and energy.

We are not rich and were living off of one teacher's income at the time. Our insurance did not cover fertility and the clinic we were successful with was on the other side of the country. We did what needed to be done. Used zero interest credit cards and mileage credit cards. Refinanced three times. I will say that we were blessed in that home values had increased at that time. We are a bit upside down on our loan now, but it will be fine in time. We survived with one car for eight years. That car now has 299,573 miles on it. Our house needs repairing. All of our friends moved up to bigger homes on lakes and golf courses and we are in our same modest, starter home. But, the outcome... three amazing children, which are priceless.

I hope that you are successful the first time, but if you are not, you do what you have to do. My favorite saying..."Do you give up easy? HELL NO!!!"
That's amazing!!!

I'm also impressed you paid for DE on one teacher's salary. Thrifty!
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Brenda
Brenda

April 30th, 2011, 7:10 am #7

I am coming up to my beta in a few days and I just don't have a very good feeling. I always like to have contingency plans. How did you find the strength and resolve to move on to a second one? I am coming from a place of my OE stuff didn't work and this was pitched as the saving grace. With that being thrown in my face by multiple REs, I just will feel that much more devestated. I appreciate any feedback.
I was devastated when my first DE cycle didnt work. I just ASSumed that when it wasnt my egg it would work like a charm, I didnt believe that I would be part of the statistics that belong in the chemical club! I cried like a baby when it didnt work and saw a therapist which was awesome, best step I took. But after 6 months I"m back in the saddle again!! lol or is that the strippups!!

anyway,, please dont have any negative feelings. law of attraction Be positive ok, try to.
good luck
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Joined: January 1st, 2006, 3:50 pm

April 30th, 2011, 12:36 pm #8

I am coming up to my beta in a few days and I just don't have a very good feeling. I always like to have contingency plans. How did you find the strength and resolve to move on to a second one? I am coming from a place of my OE stuff didn't work and this was pitched as the saving grace. With that being thrown in my face by multiple REs, I just will feel that much more devestated. I appreciate any feedback.
that if you dont play the game, you have no chance of winning!


It took us four fresh donor cycles to finally get lucky. I wont lie to you, that first BFN sucked, worse than failing on our own. DE was supposed to be the answer to our problems.I cried, and cried, and cried, and went right into planning our second cycle. The second cycle's bfn was even worse, but started planning again, and after the bfn with the third fresh donor I was beyond devastated. We then did an FET with frozens we had from the third cycle, and it too was a bfn. No reasons, no answers. I was ready to give up. I had gained 50lbs from the steroids/hormones, I was in a major depression, and I did not think I could take one more failure. I coped this entire time by keeping too busy to have time to dwell on things, thinking if I just kept moving, I'd be OK.

DH wanted to give DE one more try - we changed everything we could possibly change - skipped lupron depot and did b/c, added even more steroids, added anti rejection injections, did PIO instead of pills, used DS along with DE. I was numb the entire cycle, knowing it wasnt going to work either, but going through the motions one last time for DH.

Somehow, heaven only knows how - we got lucky and after transferring three blasts, got pg with our litle guy. We went back when he was 7 months old, over Thanksgiving last year, for our final FET never thinking it would work - but we are now 25wks + with a little girl.

You can make all the plans in the world - the outcome isnt up to us. But honestly, if you dont play, you cant win. Thank heavens my husband is more stubborn than I am!

Kay

" Some people built castles in the air. She constructed hers from mashed potatoes, which kept down demolition costs." Sarah Sloane, Borrowing Priviledges
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Bharani
Bharani

April 30th, 2011, 12:51 pm #9

land on either side of the stats. I always have a back-up plan and pretty much have it set in action if things don't go as planned. It took me four donors before I was successful. I never cried or felt why me, I just continued to put one foot in front of the other and kept the goal in sight. Perhaps it comes from my training in athletics, to just do what it takes and if it isn't positive, I don't have time to waste on feeling sorry for myself. It is too much a waste of time and energy.

We are not rich and were living off of one teacher's income at the time. Our insurance did not cover fertility and the clinic we were successful with was on the other side of the country. We did what needed to be done. Used zero interest credit cards and mileage credit cards. Refinanced three times. I will say that we were blessed in that home values had increased at that time. We are a bit upside down on our loan now, but it will be fine in time. We survived with one car for eight years. That car now has 299,573 miles on it. Our house needs repairing. All of our friends moved up to bigger homes on lakes and golf courses and we are in our same modest, starter home. But, the outcome... three amazing children, which are priceless.

I hope that you are successful the first time, but if you are not, you do what you have to do. My favorite saying..."Do you give up easy? HELL NO!!!"
I will save it. You are strong and determined. You are right, money is nothing now you have your three children. Was it in different cycle or one cycle?
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Joined: April 27th, 2007, 10:46 am

April 30th, 2011, 12:57 pm #10

I am coming up to my beta in a few days and I just don't have a very good feeling. I always like to have contingency plans. How did you find the strength and resolve to move on to a second one? I am coming from a place of my OE stuff didn't work and this was pitched as the saving grace. With that being thrown in my face by multiple REs, I just will feel that much more devestated. I appreciate any feedback.
I had no contingency plan, but I forced myself to continue through a depression because I didn't want to start all over again finding & getting to know our surro (we corresponded with our surro for a year before transfer), testing, contracts, etc.
Last edited by Obie9 on April 30th, 2011, 1:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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