feeling alone and frazzled so logged on here

feeling alone and frazzled so logged on here

Joined: October 9th, 2008, 2:53 am

August 8th, 2012, 4:57 am #1

Hi,
Just had a marathon paddy with R lasting an hour and a half of screaming, crying. He is finally asleep. I feel frazzled/shattered. So logged on here. I feel better now just knowing you are all out there. I'm on the verge of tears which is stupid as its quiet now. I want to tidy one room here a day to just keep on top of things. Its a big house and I'm usually too tired to do anything. Today I was resolved to do one room, now with the paddy I'm too shattered to do anything. Too early in the day for a stiff drink ahaha.

I feel alone here a lot. I go out and do things sure but I'm quite alone really. I'm a people person so am feeling very isolated. It makes me feel down not being around others. I really noticed how great I felt the other week when I went out to work four days in the one week during the school holidays here. I felt like the old me. I miss that person.

Thanks for listening to my pity party

As a brag I'm still at WWatchers. I'm down to 74kgs now from 81.1. I was 86 just before R was born. Got down to 81 then stayed there for a year and a bit. I'm feeling a lot fitter and its great to fit into clothes again. Now just got to lose another 10 kgs and I"m done. Its taking time as I have PCOS and hypothyrodism.
Sorry I am such a flake today folks.
best, THK
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Joined: September 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm

August 8th, 2012, 5:38 am #2

Poor kid. And poor you. Did you never figure out what was causing it? Usually if DD keeps it up more than a minute or two and can't be distracted, there's something else wrong, usually hunger or exhaustion. But her longest ever I posted about on here and it was maybe 30 minutes. Otherwise, I'd say 5 minutes tops.

Congratulations on a job well done about the weight loss! I am determined to join a gym as soon as this little guy is born and get into shape. It's been a while.
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Joined: August 22nd, 2008, 3:29 pm

August 8th, 2012, 7:56 am #3

Hi,
Just had a marathon paddy with R lasting an hour and a half of screaming, crying. He is finally asleep. I feel frazzled/shattered. So logged on here. I feel better now just knowing you are all out there. I'm on the verge of tears which is stupid as its quiet now. I want to tidy one room here a day to just keep on top of things. Its a big house and I'm usually too tired to do anything. Today I was resolved to do one room, now with the paddy I'm too shattered to do anything. Too early in the day for a stiff drink ahaha.

I feel alone here a lot. I go out and do things sure but I'm quite alone really. I'm a people person so am feeling very isolated. It makes me feel down not being around others. I really noticed how great I felt the other week when I went out to work four days in the one week during the school holidays here. I felt like the old me. I miss that person.

Thanks for listening to my pity party

As a brag I'm still at WWatchers. I'm down to 74kgs now from 81.1. I was 86 just before R was born. Got down to 81 then stayed there for a year and a bit. I'm feeling a lot fitter and its great to fit into clothes again. Now just got to lose another 10 kgs and I"m done. Its taking time as I have PCOS and hypothyrodism.
Sorry I am such a flake today folks.
best, THK
it feels very isolating after dealing with an irritable little one. I was congratulating myself recently on getting Will through the 2 year old stage without any temper tantrums...even with new baby sisters arriving just before he turned 2.... but then just when I was patting myself on the back....he hit three and he's been having some bouts of anger, frustration, whenever he doesn't get what he wants exactly when he wants it.

I had to sit him down after one of his bouts and talk to him about the way I work....I will never, EVER, give in to kid's screaming for anything so If he wants his way and to have a happy life in our house,...he had better start schmoozing, IS THAT A WORD? his mom. My older son has perfected the technique BEAUTIFULLY and we all laugh, because at 13 he will start by saying, oh mom you are the BEST MOM IN THE WORLD...do you think i could have this?.....IT'S A JOKE AROUND OUR HOUSE NOW.

As far as energy to clean...I find that when I don't have much energy to clean, I lower my standards a lot and tell myself that I'M GOINg to be gentle on myself...no big goal, no big chore...and funny thing happens when I lower my expectation, I usually accomplish more than I normally would do.

As far as weight loss....we just came back from a week of camping...I was with 6 of our kids, our sons who are, 16,and 13, our DD who is 9,, Will of course at age 3 and the 1 year old twins for 5 of those days alone...ALONE IN THE WOODS....if you want to loose weight this is the way to go....I had to boil bottles, boil everything actually as the water was not drinkable unless boiled for 3 minutes...I also had to heat up water twice a day for baths since the babies are crawling still and lived in the dirt so baths in the morning and a night were in order. oH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ABOUT LACK OF SLEEP...the LITTLE ONES don't sleep in the woods...so there was that element as well.....the kids had a great time though.

Anyway...guess what, I came home and had lost 5 pounds...down to 132 and on my 5 foot 7 frame makes me quite thin...feels good to be in my early 50's and in a bikini still but camping is definately the way to go if one wants to loose weight, ALSO GREAT FOR GETTING FIT...at one point I had one baby in a front pack, another in the back pack and was pulling Will in the wagon around the campground...what a work out!....so either camping....or hey...maybe homesteading on land that doesn't have any power etc is the way to loose weight.

Also, the side benefit is that you come home so very thankful for your washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, BED!!!!...shower and baths for the little ones...oh and the refridgerator,the stove and the microwave, i could go on and on...until you go without, one forgets how lucky we are....at times I would pretend that I was a pioneer BUT i KNEW THAT MY LIFE would go back to the real world...boy it must have been so hard for women 100 years ago!!!

So THK....I hope that you know you are never alone....we are right there with you, we are also warrior women on this board...after what many of us go through to finally become mothers we are courageous and brave. Also, having my children is a constant reminder that if I can manifest these little beings onto the earth, ANYTHING is possible, a clean house, a fit body...anything that I truly want can come to be.

And when we are having a difficult day/time, isn't it amazing that we can connect to other friends so quickly....I hope your day gets better with little R, the house cleaning and the weight loss...it all comes.

Blessings from Hope

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Joined: June 2nd, 2007, 7:45 am

August 8th, 2012, 8:42 am #4

Hi,
Just had a marathon paddy with R lasting an hour and a half of screaming, crying. He is finally asleep. I feel frazzled/shattered. So logged on here. I feel better now just knowing you are all out there. I'm on the verge of tears which is stupid as its quiet now. I want to tidy one room here a day to just keep on top of things. Its a big house and I'm usually too tired to do anything. Today I was resolved to do one room, now with the paddy I'm too shattered to do anything. Too early in the day for a stiff drink ahaha.

I feel alone here a lot. I go out and do things sure but I'm quite alone really. I'm a people person so am feeling very isolated. It makes me feel down not being around others. I really noticed how great I felt the other week when I went out to work four days in the one week during the school holidays here. I felt like the old me. I miss that person.

Thanks for listening to my pity party

As a brag I'm still at WWatchers. I'm down to 74kgs now from 81.1. I was 86 just before R was born. Got down to 81 then stayed there for a year and a bit. I'm feeling a lot fitter and its great to fit into clothes again. Now just got to lose another 10 kgs and I"m done. Its taking time as I have PCOS and hypothyrodism.
Sorry I am such a flake today folks.
best, THK
Being at home with a wee one is the most isolating experience I know. And dealing with long drawn out tantrums; well they take enormous resolve and patience and are just downright exhausting.
Hang in there honey; things do get better. Do you have playcentre over there? Where Mums go and hang out with their babies....AND OTHER MUMS? available every day here; great institution....and takes some of the sting out of the loneliness...
Well done you on the WW front; that's awesome...
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Joined: June 2nd, 2007, 7:45 am

August 8th, 2012, 8:45 am #5

it feels very isolating after dealing with an irritable little one. I was congratulating myself recently on getting Will through the 2 year old stage without any temper tantrums...even with new baby sisters arriving just before he turned 2.... but then just when I was patting myself on the back....he hit three and he's been having some bouts of anger, frustration, whenever he doesn't get what he wants exactly when he wants it.

I had to sit him down after one of his bouts and talk to him about the way I work....I will never, EVER, give in to kid's screaming for anything so If he wants his way and to have a happy life in our house,...he had better start schmoozing, IS THAT A WORD? his mom. My older son has perfected the technique BEAUTIFULLY and we all laugh, because at 13 he will start by saying, oh mom you are the BEST MOM IN THE WORLD...do you think i could have this?.....IT'S A JOKE AROUND OUR HOUSE NOW.

As far as energy to clean...I find that when I don't have much energy to clean, I lower my standards a lot and tell myself that I'M GOINg to be gentle on myself...no big goal, no big chore...and funny thing happens when I lower my expectation, I usually accomplish more than I normally would do.

As far as weight loss....we just came back from a week of camping...I was with 6 of our kids, our sons who are, 16,and 13, our DD who is 9,, Will of course at age 3 and the 1 year old twins for 5 of those days alone...ALONE IN THE WOODS....if you want to loose weight this is the way to go....I had to boil bottles, boil everything actually as the water was not drinkable unless boiled for 3 minutes...I also had to heat up water twice a day for baths since the babies are crawling still and lived in the dirt so baths in the morning and a night were in order. oH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ABOUT LACK OF SLEEP...the LITTLE ONES don't sleep in the woods...so there was that element as well.....the kids had a great time though.

Anyway...guess what, I came home and had lost 5 pounds...down to 132 and on my 5 foot 7 frame makes me quite thin...feels good to be in my early 50's and in a bikini still but camping is definately the way to go if one wants to loose weight, ALSO GREAT FOR GETTING FIT...at one point I had one baby in a front pack, another in the back pack and was pulling Will in the wagon around the campground...what a work out!....so either camping....or hey...maybe homesteading on land that doesn't have any power etc is the way to loose weight.

Also, the side benefit is that you come home so very thankful for your washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, BED!!!!...shower and baths for the little ones...oh and the refridgerator,the stove and the microwave, i could go on and on...until you go without, one forgets how lucky we are....at times I would pretend that I was a pioneer BUT i KNEW THAT MY LIFE would go back to the real world...boy it must have been so hard for women 100 years ago!!!

So THK....I hope that you know you are never alone....we are right there with you, we are also warrior women on this board...after what many of us go through to finally become mothers we are courageous and brave. Also, having my children is a constant reminder that if I can manifest these little beings onto the earth, ANYTHING is possible, a clean house, a fit body...anything that I truly want can come to be.

And when we are having a difficult day/time, isn't it amazing that we can connect to other friends so quickly....I hope your day gets better with little R, the house cleaning and the weight loss...it all comes.

Blessings from Hope

that was your HOLIDAY????? Seriously????
you are the most staunch woman I know (and that's a compliment from where I come from!"LOL)
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

August 8th, 2012, 2:23 pm #6

Hi,
Just had a marathon paddy with R lasting an hour and a half of screaming, crying. He is finally asleep. I feel frazzled/shattered. So logged on here. I feel better now just knowing you are all out there. I'm on the verge of tears which is stupid as its quiet now. I want to tidy one room here a day to just keep on top of things. Its a big house and I'm usually too tired to do anything. Today I was resolved to do one room, now with the paddy I'm too shattered to do anything. Too early in the day for a stiff drink ahaha.

I feel alone here a lot. I go out and do things sure but I'm quite alone really. I'm a people person so am feeling very isolated. It makes me feel down not being around others. I really noticed how great I felt the other week when I went out to work four days in the one week during the school holidays here. I felt like the old me. I miss that person.

Thanks for listening to my pity party

As a brag I'm still at WWatchers. I'm down to 74kgs now from 81.1. I was 86 just before R was born. Got down to 81 then stayed there for a year and a bit. I'm feeling a lot fitter and its great to fit into clothes again. Now just got to lose another 10 kgs and I"m done. Its taking time as I have PCOS and hypothyrodism.
Sorry I am such a flake today folks.
best, THK
Between starting day care and the never-ending stream of illnesses that ensued, the kids have been in regression mode, and for Freddy that means reverting to demanding to be held continuously, often when I'm trying to cook dinner, and launching a wobbly when I can't. You're not a flake! There is just something emotionally wearing about a child crying and being upset for so long.

Congratulations on the weight loss! The small improvements I was making have evaporated in the wake of the kids' not sleeping through the night. Last night we worked on "no milk in the middle of the night" (more reversion, they had been STTN for months before this started). Tonight it's going to be "everyone sleeps in their own bed."

Take care and {{hugs}},

Maggie (in VA)
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Joined: November 20th, 2006, 6:03 pm

August 8th, 2012, 2:50 pm #7

Hi,
Just had a marathon paddy with R lasting an hour and a half of screaming, crying. He is finally asleep. I feel frazzled/shattered. So logged on here. I feel better now just knowing you are all out there. I'm on the verge of tears which is stupid as its quiet now. I want to tidy one room here a day to just keep on top of things. Its a big house and I'm usually too tired to do anything. Today I was resolved to do one room, now with the paddy I'm too shattered to do anything. Too early in the day for a stiff drink ahaha.

I feel alone here a lot. I go out and do things sure but I'm quite alone really. I'm a people person so am feeling very isolated. It makes me feel down not being around others. I really noticed how great I felt the other week when I went out to work four days in the one week during the school holidays here. I felt like the old me. I miss that person.

Thanks for listening to my pity party

As a brag I'm still at WWatchers. I'm down to 74kgs now from 81.1. I was 86 just before R was born. Got down to 81 then stayed there for a year and a bit. I'm feeling a lot fitter and its great to fit into clothes again. Now just got to lose another 10 kgs and I"m done. Its taking time as I have PCOS and hypothyrodism.
Sorry I am such a flake today folks.
best, THK
I know, it's the worst. My kids are ALL big tantrum throwers. The fact that they never work, does not deter them in the least!! My DD's started at 18 mos and would go on for an hour and a half. Regularly! It actually got worse through the 3's, then improved markedly. So, if it gets worse for a while, do not fear, it WILL PASS. DS' were nearly as bad, and DD2 has already started now at 16 mos. Gah. Some days, I do want to run away from home, when the twinkies are fighting, DD2 is throwing a hissy rolling around on the floor screaming... OMG, I can so relate to the exhaustion you mention. Then, I beat myself up, "OMG I'm such a wimp, I didn't even 'do anything' today..." but, as my kind and wonderful pediatrician pointed out, any day the kids are all fed and survive to bedtime, well, that's SOMETHING. We all took so much to get here that it's hard to acknowledge it's not fun 100% of the time - but really, it's not, it's hard sometimes, and not so fun when they act like this. Mentally and physically exhausting, too. So, cut yourself some slack - take some time for a bath or something to help you relax after you get R down. I am REALLY bad at taking time for myself, and have newly resolved to do better. Can you take a class in the evening, when P gets home to watch R? That would get you out. I've just signed up for a bunch of classes in the evening, one night a week. I really value family dinners and putting kids to bed myself, but realize that I will be a better mom if I make time for ME - and the only time that can happen is evening. So DH goes to his karate two nights per week (straight from work through to bedtime), but now I will take one night a week for ME, as well. I'm really looking forward to having a better creative outlet, again. (I love photography but need to work on a couple of skills so I can capture what I see - and now I get to do that come October - yay!) Anyway, find something that renews you if you can; I'm a commited SAHM, but I'm not sure I'm cut out for 24/7 childcare LOL, so I need to find other things to refill my tank, you know? Contrary to taking more energy, I always find when I go out and do something creative for myself, I get home with even more energy than I left with, more than if I'd just gone to bed as is the STRONG urge by the kids' 7:30pm bedtime . Hugs, hang in there, do what you need to, to get through each day - some will be blissful and IMO... some days will just be sh*t and you can't expect anything to get done! Best,
Kenny

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Joined: December 2nd, 2005, 3:49 pm

August 8th, 2012, 3:31 pm #8

Hi,
Just had a marathon paddy with R lasting an hour and a half of screaming, crying. He is finally asleep. I feel frazzled/shattered. So logged on here. I feel better now just knowing you are all out there. I'm on the verge of tears which is stupid as its quiet now. I want to tidy one room here a day to just keep on top of things. Its a big house and I'm usually too tired to do anything. Today I was resolved to do one room, now with the paddy I'm too shattered to do anything. Too early in the day for a stiff drink ahaha.

I feel alone here a lot. I go out and do things sure but I'm quite alone really. I'm a people person so am feeling very isolated. It makes me feel down not being around others. I really noticed how great I felt the other week when I went out to work four days in the one week during the school holidays here. I felt like the old me. I miss that person.

Thanks for listening to my pity party

As a brag I'm still at WWatchers. I'm down to 74kgs now from 81.1. I was 86 just before R was born. Got down to 81 then stayed there for a year and a bit. I'm feeling a lot fitter and its great to fit into clothes again. Now just got to lose another 10 kgs and I"m done. Its taking time as I have PCOS and hypothyrodism.
Sorry I am such a flake today folks.
best, THK
My situation is very different, but I can completely understand being frazzled and at the end of your rope! Just wanted to send a big hug. All will be well!
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Joined: January 18th, 2008, 2:37 pm

August 8th, 2012, 4:32 pm #9

Hi,
Just had a marathon paddy with R lasting an hour and a half of screaming, crying. He is finally asleep. I feel frazzled/shattered. So logged on here. I feel better now just knowing you are all out there. I'm on the verge of tears which is stupid as its quiet now. I want to tidy one room here a day to just keep on top of things. Its a big house and I'm usually too tired to do anything. Today I was resolved to do one room, now with the paddy I'm too shattered to do anything. Too early in the day for a stiff drink ahaha.

I feel alone here a lot. I go out and do things sure but I'm quite alone really. I'm a people person so am feeling very isolated. It makes me feel down not being around others. I really noticed how great I felt the other week when I went out to work four days in the one week during the school holidays here. I felt like the old me. I miss that person.

Thanks for listening to my pity party

As a brag I'm still at WWatchers. I'm down to 74kgs now from 81.1. I was 86 just before R was born. Got down to 81 then stayed there for a year and a bit. I'm feeling a lot fitter and its great to fit into clothes again. Now just got to lose another 10 kgs and I"m done. Its taking time as I have PCOS and hypothyrodism.
Sorry I am such a flake today folks.
best, THK
Sending you a huge ((hug)). We get it, really! Some days are h*ll here and I often end the day feeling like I failed as a mother, wife and human being! We just do our best and know that some days are totally beyond our control. Luckily, those days don't happen too frequently...but when they do, the best thing is to recognize that you tried your best and then take a deep breath and do whatever that brings you a few minutes of peace: nice, hot bath, walk outside, read a few chapters of a good book, drink a glass of wine while sitting on the porch, write to your cyber buddies here ...

Back in the day, I ran a few marathons. One year I was really struggling and I could barely finish my long training runs. I was talking to a fellow runner about my lack of stamina and he said "the trick to finishing is just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving." You know what? It was perhaps the most basic, most simple advice ever given to me about anything...yet I never forgot those words. I went on to remind myself of that advice during all long runs and races and it helped me immensely. In fact, I use that advice even now, to get through a troubling day, to complete a work project that feels beyond my ability, to deal with screaming twins during a 2-hr car ride...whatever.

So, when R is bouncing off walls or completely melting down, just do your best and put one foot in front of the other. You'll find strength you didn't know you had & will get through that day/tantrum.

((hugs)), sweetie. Hope tomorrow it better & I hope R is feeling better.

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Joined: May 18th, 2006, 3:27 pm

August 8th, 2012, 4:44 pm #10

Hi,
Just had a marathon paddy with R lasting an hour and a half of screaming, crying. He is finally asleep. I feel frazzled/shattered. So logged on here. I feel better now just knowing you are all out there. I'm on the verge of tears which is stupid as its quiet now. I want to tidy one room here a day to just keep on top of things. Its a big house and I'm usually too tired to do anything. Today I was resolved to do one room, now with the paddy I'm too shattered to do anything. Too early in the day for a stiff drink ahaha.

I feel alone here a lot. I go out and do things sure but I'm quite alone really. I'm a people person so am feeling very isolated. It makes me feel down not being around others. I really noticed how great I felt the other week when I went out to work four days in the one week during the school holidays here. I felt like the old me. I miss that person.

Thanks for listening to my pity party

As a brag I'm still at WWatchers. I'm down to 74kgs now from 81.1. I was 86 just before R was born. Got down to 81 then stayed there for a year and a bit. I'm feeling a lot fitter and its great to fit into clothes again. Now just got to lose another 10 kgs and I"m done. Its taking time as I have PCOS and hypothyrodism.
Sorry I am such a flake today folks.
best, THK
I don't know how you did it - 1.5 hours!! I can't stand the screaming/whining for several minutes!! I'm lucky though, as F doesn't have these often. I don't know your situation, but I'm alone with no nearby family or close friends. It's difficult at best. I've tried to lower my expectations, but still have 'boil overs.'. My ONLY down time is the few hours after I get him to bed; it's heaven!!

Congrats on the weight loss!! Well done.
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